Tag: perfect

I Can’t Control What I Can’t Control

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The world has gone crazy and everyone is losing their mind. Well not everyone but you get it, you know what’s going on. More recently things have just gotten even more unbearable for the vast majority of people and there are a lot of people who are completely stressed out. I’m not saying that I don’t feel the frustration or the stress and worry but I will say because I have tapped into more spiritual sustenance I am not pulling my hair out (like my sister is lol) and panicking. I stay reading my devotionals and the Bible, praying and talking to God and I know that it sounds a little simplistic but it has been working for me and I feel an incredible sense of peace.

Someone asked me recently how am I not freaking out and going crazy and my response was simply “I can’t control what I can’t control” to which they replied “huh”? Basically there are things that I can control but there are far more things that happen in this world that I just have absolutely no control over. Those are the things that I can’t control and I just am not going to worry and stress about what I have no control over.

When it comes to what is happening in the world of politics right now, which my sister is literally freaking out over and reacting to every news sound bite and news story that comes out about you know who and this election, while I am also worried and concerned for the state of this country I just can’t give that amount of energy to worrying about something in which the only bit of control that I have is to be at the polls on November 3rd (COVID be damned) and stand in line for however long it takes to cast my vote. That is the only thing I can control unless I had any plans on running for some sort of political office (which I don’t).

However, this mantra that I’ve enacted for myself I am now trying to also apply it to my writing as well. I am really hard on myself when it comes to all things writing because I want things to be perfect, or as perfect as possible, and there are so many things that I want to be able to do and I don’t want to have to give up any of the project ideas I’ve had for any reason. That said, when it comes to the ever present procrastination that I have done and am currently doing, it stems from things that I just have no power over.

I hesitate on putting my work out and sometimes stall the process, yeah because I want things to be as perfect as I can possibly make them, but more so because I’m afraid if they are not perfect in the audience’s eyes that they won’t buy my work and I won’t become the success I’ve dreamed of becoming since I was a little girl. The fact is I can’t control whether someone purchases my books or any products I might put out and when they do purchase it I also have no control over whether or not they will like it. If I query to agents and publishers I can’t control whether they will like or buy into my work.

I can’t allow myself to stress about those things any longer because the only thing that worrying about it has done was kept me from actually attempting any of it. People certainly can’t buy my work or products if there are none that are out there to buy. Agents and publishers can’t even have the opportunity to reject or accept my work if they never see it. I have to work hard at the things that are within my grasp to control otherwise I will drive myself crazy, like really crazy, all over what is not in my power to change.

So all of that was to say I know that things are hard right now, and not just in the world of politics but probably in your normal everyday life, with your job or career. Don’t let the fear of what may or may not happen consume you. Don’t let the anxiety that you feel over things that are out of your control, take time away from focusing on the things that you do have control over. Be careful where you put your focus right now and let God take care of those things that make you a little restless. Until next time… #BeMindful #BeOptimistic BeGrateful

 

Jimmetta Carpenter 

Writer/Editor 

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Perfection Isn’t All It’s Cracked Up to Be

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Perfection Is not what its cracked up to be

Let’s talk about perfection! I think everyone, at some point in their careers, wishes for things to go perfectly. Even when logically people know that the best things that are worth having almost never come easy and that the things that come easy almost never last, people still want a smooth road to their destination. When we allow that need for perfection to keep us from going after our goals and achieving what we ultimately want it becomes more of a hindrance than a help.

I know all about striving for perfection but when I look at where that has honestly gotten me thus far, I don’t particularly like what I see. I have so many projects, books, concepts that are formulated in my mind. I plan them out, then re-plan them, and then outline the ideas to map everything out about two or three times. Then, because things still don’t seem to be fitting perfectly together just the way that I want them to, those plans, books, and concepts get stored away somewhere in a file cabinet where most ideas go to die (or get dug up years later). I think I’ve had at least two ideas of television shows that I never fleshed out and actually developed because I couldn’t get the ideas to perfectly come together in my mind and then years later I see television shows almost mirroring those ideas already created by someone else who probably didn’t wait for their idea to be completely perfect to get it done.

This is what happens when you wait on perfection. Someone else has a similar idea and they just simply get it done, perfect or not. I’ve been working really hard lately on not having to have every idea that comes to mind be perfect for me to get started working on it. I realize that perfection is not always the best thing because nothing can ever truly be perfect. There’s always going to be a tweak that could be made here, and possibly another minor adjustment there, and as a writer even when you hand over your masterpiece that may be perfect in your eyes to an editor, there is undoubtedly going to be something that that editor will see that won’t be perfect in their eyes and will need to be changed anyway.

So if you are sitting on an idea for a book, for a program, for a brand, for a song, or anything that you’re passionate about, stop sitting on it. Just say to hell with perfection and get started on it. No one will ever see it anyway if you don’t just put it out there, perfect or not. Odds are the less perfect the better!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

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People Shouldn’t Be So Quick to Throw Stones

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So the topic of conversation in the news these days seems to be the whole Lance Armstrong mess.  Now I wrote a post previously regarding my thoughts about this topic but that was before there was any actual proof, and an Oprah interview around the corner sealed with a confession.  Well while almost every news anchor and talk show host seems to share the position that this is a disgrace and that his actions were simply the most horrible thing that an athlete has ever done, I still feel the same way that I did when I wrote about it before, empathetic.

One news anchor even went so far as to call Lance Armstrong a disgrace to all humankind.  I have to admit that comment shocked me because are we really going to put Lance Armstrong in the same category as mass murderers and rapist (because those people are one’s I consider to be a disgrace to humankind).  To tell the truth it made me a little angry.

What right does anyone have to judge someone else on mistakes that they have made?  Are any of us that perfect that we can really throw stones from our glass houses?  I mean obviously everyone doesn’t go around using steroids to perform better in a sport but there are so many mistakes that people make on a regular and daily basis that other people could judge just as harshly.  There are murderers who have been treated in a kinder fashion then the media is treating this man.  He may have been a world class athlete and a wonderful philanthropist (which everyone in the media seems to have forgotten about) but he is still a human being that makes mistakes just like any one of us.

We hold people, particularly those who are in the media spotlight, to such high standards that are impossible for anyone to measure up to.  Why do we keep expecting people to be perfect when we can never be?  It’s a shame that we are always so busy searching for the bad in people that we overlook all of the good in them.  There are so many people who hold themselves back from so many opportunities because they’re too afraid that they can’t live up to being perfect.  When are we going to just accept people for who they are, mistakes and all, and love them instead of choosing to judge them?

I have the Write 2 Be Authentic and Imperfect… What is your Write 2 Be?

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

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Trying to Be Perfect Does Not Always Amount to Perfection

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It is no secret to anyone who knows me that fear is something that I struggle with on a consistent basis.  Being afraid of failing has been something that has kept me from doing a lot of things that I have wanted to do.  Too often I have been afraid that I wasn’t good enough to make it, or good enough to even risk trying.

I guess it stems from my childhood being told by my mother on an almost daily basis that I was never going to be good enough.  After a while of hearing the same thing repeatedly from someone who is supposed to shape how you think and feel about yourself, you start to believe that it’s true.  It is that fear of not being good enough that has always made me feel that I couldn’t take certain risks if the preparation wasn’t perfect.

When it comes to query letters for articles, or pitching a novel to publishers or agents, or even sending out a resume to newspapers and magazines I want to work with or for, I have always held back if I didn’t feel that the package that I was sending off was perfect.  A lot of times this resulted in me taking months just to send one thing off.  Trying so hard to make everything perfect only really results in a lot of wasted time and lost opportunities.

It has taken until I was an adult with my own child for me to realize that those voices telling me that I wasn’t good enough were the voices that I needed to tune out.  That the voice that I should have been paying attention to all along was the voice within that whispered that not only was I good enough but that I was going to be greater than even I expected.

In a sense I have failed at being perfect because I’m not ever going to be perfect, and certainly not everything I do or write is going to meet the standards of perfection.  However, if I just continue being the best version of me that I can be, that is good enough.  It’s good enough for me.  It’s not always the loudest voices that deserve all the attention.  Sure they’re loud and extremely difficult to ignore but often times the loudness is just a distraction from the whispers of what we should really be listening to.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

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