Tag: pride

When Your Pride Gets Too Heavy to Carry

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Pride is a funny thing. They tell you to take pride in yourself for so many things but then when you do have pride people tell you the opposite. They say don’t be so prideful that you end up worse off than if you had just swallowed your pride to begin with. If there is anything that this situation I have been going through since the end of May has taught me is that pride really does have to go out the window sometimes because, what’s that other saying I love so much? Oh yeah, closed mouths don’t get fed.

I mean there is truth to that. No one knows you’re struggling or in need if you don’t say anything. Even in the midst of your struggle, people can be misled to think that things are improving and that you may not need as much help anymore if you stay quiet because you’re too scared or worse, too proud to say you still need the help. I have had to ask people for help that I swore I would never ask, because I didn’t want them to know how bad things were and I didn’t want them to think less of me because I needed the help in the first place.

It may sound silly, but I think that’s the hardest thing about all of this for me. I have to swallow my pride and break down and ask for help and it kills me. It makes me feel inferior and less than. It makes me feel worthless and like I’m useless to everyone around me, especially my daughter. Sure, the logical part of me knows that nothing could be further from the truth, but this is a very emotional time for me right now and logic doesn’t always win out. Needless to say, last week was extremely tough for me and I smiled and tried to act like I was okay because I guess I just wanted to pretend that I actually was okay.

But I am not okay. I miss having a home. I miss having my own space. I miss being able to cook my own meals. I miss my desk, even the crappy bed I had that was falling apart. I miss having a place to call home. I miss the peace that I had within my home. I miss my library of books that I probably will never get back because I am getting ready to lose everything that I was able to salvage and put in storage because I can’t keep the storage unit up AND still keep the room my daughter and I have been staying in. I miss the routine that both my daughter and I had, in our own respective spaces in the home that I had for nearly 23 years. I miss the security that having a place of your own provides. I just miss what was.

I’m trying to stay hopeful that I can not only get it all back somehow but gain back more than what I lost but it’s getting harder to hold onto that hope. This is the place that I come to get everything I’m feeling out because holding onto things is how we can make the problems worse. I hope I can get back to a place where I am okay again but today is not that day. Thank you for letting me express myself.

Until next time… #BeMindful #BePatient #BeinFaith

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Jimmetta Carpenter

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Pride Can Derail the Journey

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“He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but He who does not ask remains a fool forever”

~Chinese Proverb

I was having a conversation last week with a friend of mine in which I opened up about some personal issues I’m having and their first question to me was why haven’t I asked for help? The only response I had (which admittedly is not a very good one) was that I am too embarrassed to ask for the help that I know I need. They returned with the question of what I could possibly have to be embarrassed about and I took a moment because I knew what I was going to say sounded silly. My answer: That I’m not exactly where I should be in life at my age, and I shouldn’t have to need any help at all.

You know what’s telling. When you can hear the answer, you’re about to give someone and in your head, it made sense but logically when the words actually leave your mouth you realize it makes absolutely no sense. Now I’m not going to get into what my situation is in this post, except to say that it does boil down to financial setbacks, but I am a person who hates having to ask for help. I am typically the one who likes to figure out ways that I can help other people so to turn that around and have to admit needing the help myself is a bit touchy for me.

Nevertheless, my friend was absolutely correct in saying that having a setback of any kind in life is not and should not be embarrassing. Life comes with all kinds of roadblocks and things that just knock the wind out of you, both physically and emotionally. It shouldn’t be something that we are afraid to talk about or seek help about. Pride is not a bad thing when you’re talking about having pride in your job or career path, or something your child or family member does. However, pride that just keeps you stuck in a bad position, or even worse, makes your bad situation that much worse, is not something to cling to.

If you are having a hard time and going through a setback, you are not alone. If you need help to get through your setback then please don’t be afraid to ask for it. Don’t be so strong and proud that you end up putting yourself in an even worse position. There is nothing wrong with experiencing setbacks in life. In actuality, setbacks can very often become the set up and the building blocks for the next level that you are on your way to. Don’t let your pride be the hill that your dreams die on.

Until next time… #BeCourageous #BePatient #BeResilient

Jimmetta Carpenter

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Are You Headed In the Wrong Direction?

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You are never going to get to the right place if you are headed in the wrong direction. It’s something my Pastor said in the message on Sunday’s live stream in talking about repairing the breaches in your life that are holding you back from accomplishing your goals and your purpose. Imagine you’re driving somewhere and you’re taking one route to get there but it’s in the complete opposite direction of your destination. How can you expect to end up in the place you need to be if you continue to stay on the wrong path, especially if you’re too proud to ask for directions.

We’re not going to get everything right, I think that’s obvious. But what hurts us most is when we’re unable to admit or acknowledge when we’ve gotten it wrong. In order to get all that we want out of this life, all that we’re placed here to do, there’s a level of sacrifice that is going to be necessary. I hear a lot of times people make declarations about clinging to their pride, their pride won’t let them ask for help (I definitely fall into this category), or their pride won’t allow them to ask for the right directions. If we can’t even sacrifice our pride to get to the place that we need to go then we’re not going to get very far.

Sometimes the person you need to go to most to help get you turned around and going in the right direction is God and I know the feeling of thinking that maybe you’re problems are too big for God’s help or even worse, thinking that you’ve asked for God’s help too much and thinking that he’ll grow tired of coming to your aide. I’ve come to realize that this couldn’t be further from the truth. What would be worse is having God to go to, knowing that you’re heading the wrong way, and because you’re too proud to go to him you continue going in the wrong direction. That not only hinders your journey and short changes the people who you were placed on this earth to be a blessing to, but it also underestimates the unconditional love God has for us and it undermines his purpose for your life.

Look we’re in crazy times right now and some of us will be in isolation for longer than others. This is the perfect time to correct the course you’re on if you were headed in the wrong direction. It’s the perfect time to go to HIM if you have been reluctant to go to HIM before. It’s the time to not worry about what you might have to give up in order to get where it is you need to go. None of us are perfect and none of us are without pride but is your pride really worth holding onto if you end up having nothing to show for it? Now is the time to turn things around. Until next time… #BeGrateful #BeOpen #BeofService

 

Jimmetta Carpenter 

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