Tag: purpose

Are We Faking It to Our Own Detriment?

jcladyluv

be you_2

There is this mantra that people have come to live by that is supposed to help motivate them to keep moving forward and not get hung up on what they haven’t achieved.  “Fake it until you make it” is what people tell you to do when you are trying to achieve certain goals that you haven’t quite reached yet.  So often I have been told that even if I don’t have it all together and I haven’t achieved all of the goals that I am striving towards that I should just essentially pretend that I have made it, that I have it all together, and that I am already a success even though I still have a long way to go.

It sounded like good advice and I completely understand what good intentions are meant by this mantra.  I have even repeated this advice to others because I firmly believed that it was the right attitude to have.  Now I’m not so sure.  I mean I don’t think that you are ever supposed to lose sight of the goals and dreams that you are moving towards accomplishing but I am not so sure that faking it is the right way to really go about it.

I read a blog post last night about how the mantra of faking it could actually be the reason your message is falling on deaf ears (so to speak).  It made me think, if I am trying to promote brand ME and I want people to connect to me, do I want people to get the me that I am pretending to be, that I think that they want, or do I want people to connect to the real me, the me that just doesn’t have it all together yet.  If I am not being authentic, then what is the point of me trying to get my words out there and to connect with readers?

Everyone wants to be accepted for who they are, imperfections and all, but how can that be possible if we are all too busy pretending to be what it is we wish we were, what we think people want us to be.  No real good comes of pretending to be someone other than yourself and it is just deceptive to think that we have to put on this false pretense.  So I thought that I would real today (I try to be real most of the time but sometimes I hide behind my insecurities) and share things I don’t normally say out loud.

I am a writer, true enough, but I do not have it all together.  I am not as successful as I sometimes try to pretend to be.  Sometimes, frankly I am just winging it with this whole writing thing and I don’t have even half of the answers.  I don’t write as much as I should.  I don’t seem to have a knack for this social media thing so my name is not as well known as I had hoped it would be at this point in my life.

To be completely honest, some days I really have no idea what I am doing, I am just trying to be the best writer that I know how to be and I am trying to hold on to that passion that I have for writing.  There are days when trying to focus on the business side of being a writer is so frustrating I start to think about never writing again.  I question regularly, despite my saying that I know writing is my true purpose, if maybe writing has already served its purpose in my life and that maybe (and only in moments of temporary insanity do I really believe this) it is time to let it go.

I try not to admit those things even to myself so saying them here for everyone to see is hard for me but I feel better having done it.  I feel like there has to be someone else out there that gets it and are just as tired as I am of pretending to be something that they are not and who understand where I am coming from.  Isn’t it less pressure to just be yourself?  As imperfect as you might be, even if you feel like everything is falling a part, be the best version of yourself that you can be.  Let’s not fake it until we make it, let’s just make it by being real.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

 

Write 2 Be Magazine is now out so please go check it out at http://write2bemagazine.com/.  Also please go and join the magazine on twitter https://twitter.com/write2bemag, join the email listing for the magazine or submit a request for an author interview at Write2bemagazine@yahoo.com, and also like the Write 2 Be Magazine fan page https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine.  Please help support my endeavor and my new journey and help me spread the word about Write 2 Be and its meaning.

I Figured Out the Real Reason I Can’t Finish My Novel

jcladyluv

finishing that novelI was reading an article in the Writer’s Magazine about how hard it is when you are writing something that is personal and that closely mirrors your own experiences somehow, even if it was a piece of fiction that was loosely based on your own truth.  It occurred to me after reading this article that this could definitely be the reason that I can not seem to finish my current novel that I am working on.

When I think about it, I haven’t lost the passion for my current novel, I haven’t become bored with the story, I haven’t become tired of the characters, in fact it is quite frustrating that I have so much passion for this unfinished novel and yet I can not seem to actually finish it.  Now granted I have many things that legitimately take up my time like being a mother, being back in school and working on my master’s degree, working on writing articles and this blog as well as publishing my magazine.  However, having other responsibilities has never stopped me before in finishing something.

Sitting and thinking about it, what is really holding up the process, I am now almost convinced that it has more so to do with my next novel that I am planning to write then the actual novel I am trying to finish.  My next novel (not revealing the title just yet), while fictionally written, will not just be loosely based on my own personal life, but it will actually touch on a large part of my childhood and the tumultuous relationship that I have with my mother and the emotional baggage that I have when it comes to her.  Even though I am fictionalizing the story quite a bit, the premise is going to touch on a lot of emotions that I am ambiguous about dealing with.

I feel like it is a novel that I need to write to work through some things and it is one that it took me a long time to even be ready to write and I have to wonder if this stalling tactic is somehow a sign that I am not as ready to write it as I thought I was.  But when I think about it, I am ready but then I’m still not sure if I really am.  My first novel, The Diary: Succession of Lies, took a lot out of me to write because it was extremely personal to me as well and it also took some time for me to get through writing it because I was writing through a painful time.

One would think that to write your pain out on the page it would be simple and that it would flow like a river of water.  I think that there is this myth that writing the personal stories takes less time and that it is somehow easier to do.  While this may in fact be true for some there are countless stories that I have read of other writers who struggled the most on the work that was more closely related to their personal experiences.  Ironically, the personal stories, or the fiction stories that are based in truth, are usually the best ones.  There is heart in those stories and they become more relatable to others because someone else may be experiencing the same things that you have already gone through.

I write for many reasons but in large part because I know I can’t be the only one experiencing some of the things that I have gone through.  If I can touch even just one person then I have served a purpose with my words and that is all I really want to do.  In fixing what is wrong you have to first understand what the problem truly is.  Now that I have identified the problem in why I am stuck in this novel and held back from starting the next, I think I can do something to change.  If you are stuck maybe it’s time that you stop to figure out the real reason that has you stalled.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

 

Write 2 Be Magazine is now out so please go check it out at http://write2bemagazine.com/.  Also please go and join the magazine on twitter https://twitter.com/write2bemag, join the email listing for the magazine or submit a request for an author interview at Write2bemagazine@yahoo.com, and also like the Write 2 Be Magazine fan page https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine.  Please help support my endeavor and my new journey and help me spread the word about Write 2 Be and its meaning.

Unstuck and Heading in the Right Direction

jcladyluv

I finally launched my magazine the other day and I am feeling really excited about all of its possibilities.  Initially I was scared (or maybe nervous would be a better word) about its release for all of the obvious reasons that anyone would be nervous going into a new venture.  This magazine is a big deal for me and the whole meaning behind Write 2 Be is important for me to get out.

Of course, as with any big venture that you embark on, I am discovering that all of the hard work that went into putting the initial debut issue out is really only just beginning because then there lies the responsibility of promotion and marketing that all falls on me.  Now anyone who reads this blog or who knows me already knows that I struggle deeply with the marketer that is supposed to live inside of me.

As a writer who does not have an agent as her advocate and who has not “hit it big” yet with some big contract from some major publishing house, and without some publicist slaving away on her behalf, I am learning how to market as I go along.  I was one of those aspiring writers who naively just thought that any publishing house would accept her work and of course they would have their own team of marketers and publicists that are working feverishly on behalf of my impending career and success.

Well that just isn’t how things worked out and nowadays as a writer trying to make it you have to be a good marketer of yourself and admittedly I am not.  I suppose it is mostly that I usually feel awkward patting myself on the back and that stems from personal childhood issues but I have slowly but surely started to get past that.  I am getting more adapt to being my own best supporter but it is definitely still a work in progress and is certainly not easy.

Having said all of that, with the release of my magazine I realized that this is a step in the right direction.  I had been feeling stuck within my writing and my drive towards success as a writer but now I know I am heading the right way towards my ultimate goals.  I felt stuck last year, and possibly even the year before that and I hadn’t realized why until I released the Write 2 Be Magazine.

I feel like I am now really beginning to fulfill my purpose and that I am starting to see my vision becoming the reality I knew it could be.  I feel revived and much surer of where I am headed and that I am definitely on the right path.  I feel very optimistic about this year as it pertains to my writing career and I am going to hold on to that optimism for as long as I can.

I have the Write 2 Be Proud and Inspired… What is your Write 2 Be?

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Write 2 Be Magazine is now out so please go check it out at http://write2bemagazine.com/.  Also please go and join the magazine on twitter https://twitter.com/write2bemag, join the email listing for the magazine at Write2bemagazine@yahoo.com, and also like the Write 2 Be Magazine fan page https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine.  Please help support my endeavor and my new journey and help me spread the word about Write 2 Be and its meaning.

When Hitting a Rock, Just Keep Digging

jcladyluv

I opened my emails yesterday and there was a message from Tyler Perry (sent days prior, just unopened) talking about digging deep until we get to where it is we are going and where we know God wants us to be.  He advised that even if you hit rock, if you know that it’s what’s meant for you, just keep digging.

It got me to thinking about just how long I have been digging this well (meaning my attempt at being a successful freelance writer) and just how long it seems like I have been hitting nothing but rock.  I don’t just mean rock that is movable and pliable with just a few whacks either.  I mean really hard, strong, take ten people to move, kind of rock.

Obviously I know that there are many people who are worse off than me and who might look at me and wonder what I am complaining about, and they may be right where it pertains to them.  But when you are hitting nothing but rock you really feel like it is the worst position you can be in and you feel like there is no way to move through it or past it.

But then I remember that I have faith and I have God and while I may not be able to move a rock that would ordinarily take ten people to be able to move, God is said to be able to move mountains.  In Tyler Perry’s email he spoke about hitting the rock and eventually being able to dig deeper, past that rock, and reaching your well of blessings.

I’m not sure how close I am to that well yet, but I have a feeling that there’s only so much rock left to hit and that my well is right around the corner.  I don’t know how many of you out there feel the same way, like all you’ve been hitting lately is nothing but rock while trying to get to your well, but don’t stop digging because your well may just be right past that rock.  Don’t give up too soon, I know I’m not.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

 

Write 2 Be Magazine will be debuting on January 15th, 2013 so please go join the magazine on twitter before it debuts on https://twitter.com/write2bemag and join the email listing for the magazine at Write2bemagazine@yahoo.com.  Also please feel free to like my Write 2 Be Magazine fan page https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine.  Please help support my endeavor and my new journey and help me spread the word about Write 2 Be and its meaning.

 

Being Optimistic Is Giving Me More Drive

jcladyluv

The first week of the New Year has actually started off pretty good.  I mean nothing miraculous happened, nothing earth shattering or life altering, but on the up side nothing terribly bad happened (at least nothing that I couldn’t handle).  I’ve actually been rather productive, at least more than normal, and while there are still things on my to-do list for the week that haven’t been completed yet, I would say that I am very proud of what I’ve accomplished so far.

That’s not saying that I don’t have a lot of improvement to do, especially in my time management skills, but I am a work in progress (as we all are) and I have progressed into not beating myself up over the things that didn’t get done.  I just know that I have to be more determined and more persistent in getting my list completed next week.  I do have some major things that I have to tackle over the weekend in the efforts to finish putting the magazine together and that is actually going to be my main focus for the weekend.

I don’t know why I have not mastered the art of time management yet but I really hope that I can shuffle things around a lot better in the coming weeks.  I have been replacing most of my negative thoughts and fears with positive outlooks and all in all (unlike the last few years) I am feeling very optimistic for this year.  Well I hope all of you have had a very productive first week of the New Year and that all of your projects are off and running.

I have the Write 2 Be Productive and Prosperous… What is your Write 2 Be?

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

 

Write 2 Be Magazine will be debuting on January 15th, 2013 so please go join the magazine on twitter before it debuts on https://twitter.com/write2bemag and join the email listing for the magazine at Write2bemagazine@yahoo.com.  Also please feel free to go and friend me on facebook at http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310 and like my Write 2 Be Magazine fan page.  Please help support my endeavor and my new journey and help me spread the word about Write 2 Be and its meaning.

What If the World Were to End Tomorrow?

jcladyluv

The New Year is approaching and, as you know, I am one of those people that like to plan things out thoroughly.  Of course I know that there are only so many things that I can actually plan but I do like to pretty much plan out the things that I need to accomplish step by step to get the bigger goals completed.

This year there is some skepticism around whether or not any of us will even make it to the New Year seeing as though the Mayan calendar has the world ending tomorrow.  While I do not actually believe that the world is going to end tomorrow (although God might have other plans, and in that case I’ll be very surprised) it did get me thinking about how many people there must be out there scrambling to get their life in order before tomorrow gets here.

I am interested to know how many people are suddenly doing the things that they said they would never do before just because they think they won’t be around after tomorrow.  How many of us would actually be doing the things that we are supposed to be doing (while we’re busy procrastinating) if we knew we wouldn’t have time to complete our goals and satisfy our purpose.

I must admit, I almost wished that I believed that the world was ending tomorrow, because even though I have managed to kick my plans into high gear lately, I imagine I might be in overdrive if I thought for one second that what I would have to do tomorrow is explain to God at the gate leading to heaven why I didn’t do all the things he told me to do with all of the time he had given me.

If the world were to end tomorrow I’m not sure that I would be happy with what I had done with the time that I was here.  It makes me just want to strive even harder then I had already planned to next year to make sure that I start actually fulfilling my purpose.  I suppose I had better go and get busy before the real doomsday actually does get here.  Have you all done what you feel you were sent here to do?  If the world were to end tomorrow, would you be happy with the legacy you are leaving behind?

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

(Re)Defining a Brand: The Message Behind Write 2 Be

jcladyluv

It was brought to my attention the other day that the mission of my company was not made terribly clear.  There were some questions as to what exactly is the message behind the Write 2 Be name and more importantly the Write 2 Be brand.  It is important that I take this month before launching the debut issue of my new online magazine, titled Write 2 Be, to make sure every one of my readers (as well as my soon to be readers) knows and understands what Write 2 Be is really all about and to hopefully get across why I feel it delivers such a message of impact.

There are so many people who hold themselves back from doing so many things in their lives because they are afraid of going outside of a certain box.  People expect so many things from us and we waste so much time not being ourselves because we’re too busy trying to be what someone else wants us to be.

It’s as if we don’t feel that we have that right to be the person that we feel we were meant to be because we’re worried we’re going to let someone else down.  Instead we let ourselves down and let others define us.  Often times we begin to desire the acceptance of others, at the expense of our own individuality and our own creativity.  We sometimes even tend to pass those traits down to our children and they then repeat our cycle.

Write 2 Be is about not fitting inside the mold that other people want you to fit into.  It’s about not letting other people’s thoughts and opinions of you define who it is that you are.  It’s about making the unexpected and sometimes unpopular choices in order to stay true to yourself.  Write 2 Be is about defining yourself as whatever you feel you have the Write 2 Be…

Write 2 Be Magazine will be debuting on January 15th, 2013 so please go join the magazine on twitter before it debuts on https://twitter.com/write2bemag and join the email listing for the magazine at Write2bemagazine@yahoo.com.  Also please feel free to go and friend me on facebook at http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310 and like my Write 2 Be Magazine fan page.  Please help support my endeavor and my new journey and help me spread the word about Write 2 Be and its meaning.

I have the Write 2 Be Empowered and Innovative….What is your Write 2 Be?

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Quitters Will Never Win

jcladyluv

As I was sitting here thinking about what to write today I was thinking about just throwing in the towel.  You know you can only keep trying at something for so long that doesn’t appear to be working before you start to really wonder if it’s just not going to work, or maybe it’s just not meant to be.  Lately I’ve been feeling as if every time I take one step forward, I end up getting knocked two steps backward.  I was beginning to feel like all of this was pointless and that all this dreaming that I’ve been doing had been for nothing.  

Just as I was getting ready to give up and just say to hell with it I looked in my email inbox today and received one of my Tyler Perry mailing list pep talks (it was actually sent a couple of days ago but I hadn’t checked my email in a couple of days).  His message was short, sweet, and to the point.  Simply put it read “IF YOU QUIT OR GIVE UP THEN YOU DON’T DESERVE IT!  Process that and get back in the fight, DREAMER! You can do it.”  As I said before, time and time again, Tyler Perry always has a way of sending out his inspirational messages just as I need to hear it.  

I love writing and most importantly I am meant to do this.  I know it deep down inside my gut.  Even when I doubt myself, I never doubt my ability to write.  Even though I keep getting knocked down repeatedly, I have just been reminded that I can’t throw in the towel because if I do I never deserved it in the first place.  I have never been one to quit anything that I really wanted and that I knew was for me.  I’m not going to start now!  

If any of you are out there feeling like it’s just never going to come together, don’t stop now, don’t give up the fight.  Just when you think it’s time to quit is the precise moment that you need to keep holding on.         

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

Time Is Of the Essence

jcladyluv

I’ve found myself saying to quite a lot of people lately that they shouldn’t wait to do whatever they said they were going to do the next time they get a chance.  That they should take the opportunity to do whatever it is now, in that moment.  Simply put, I have been reminding people that tomorrow is never promised and that you shouldn’t keep waiting for the next available moment when the moment has presented itself right now.  

Isn’t it funny how we can impart wisdom and advice to other people, probably advice that was at some other time imparted to us, but we can never really seem to take that advice ourselves?  I was telling Ms. L. today about how every time I make a plan to really buckle down and get things done I find myself at that moment, with all of my tools lined up around me ready for me to get stuff done and then either something gets me distracted or I simply fall asleep from being so tired.  Hours later I end up with just as much done as I had before which is nothing.  

I can’t keep repeating this same cycle of having a whole lot of plans to do something and ending up with very little to nothing actually being done.  Is anyone else in a cycle of repeated procrastination or is it really just me?  I only hope that I somehow learn to take my own advice (and advice given to me by others in the past) before time really does get away from me and it becomes too late to do anything about it.  

As much as people would like to believe that it is never too late to do the things that you were meant to do, everyone’s time is up at some point.  If I leave this earth without making a good enough use of the gifts and talents that God gave me and without fulfilling the purpose that he placed before me, then I really will have wasted all of the valuable time that I was given and I will have nothing to show for it.    

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

Could Reality TV Be the Next Best Marketing Strategy?

jcladyluv

The other night Ms. L. and I were talking about reality television.  You know the usual, what train wrecks are worth watching and what is just simply too much drama even for us.  We both talked about how we are not really ‘Reality TV show watchers’ even though there were some that had managed to reel us in over a period of time.  I’ll give Ms. L. credit in the fact that she hasn’t been as reeled in as I have.  

There was a time that if the caption about the TV show said reality I would instantly turn away and wouldn’t even give it a second look.  But then I realized something that I think some people still have not caught onto yet.  Reality TV is not truly Reality.  I mean think about it, they have writers on Reality TV shows (why if the show is in fact unscripted as they try to convince us).  Not only that but there is a whole lot of editing film to make the show’s end result look just real enough to not look like most other television shows and yet still fake enough to know that this much drama could not possibly happen this often to this person.  

But the reality shows that I truly love the most are the one’s with a purpose at the end of it.  You know, the competition one’s like America’s Next Top Model, Hell’s Kitchen, Master Chef, HGTV Design Star, Food Network Star, those types of shows.  However, I have been thinking a lot lately about what a Reality TV show can do for a person who might be trying to make a name for themselves and isn’t having much luck at getting their name out there.  If you think about it, these people (you know, the one’s who are at the center of all the drama) are actually smarter then we give them credit for.  

Let’s take Snookie from Jersey Shore for example.  If she ever decides to stop boozing it up and grows up (hopefully before her child gets here) and she decided that she wanted to start a new business, she doesn’t have to worry about getting her name out there, it already is.  Everyone and anyone knows who she is and like her or hate her, she has made probably millions off of the drama that she is the center of.  She could literally forge any type of career she wants all because of her stints on reality TV.  

It just makes you wonder, just how easy could it be for any one of us to make the name for ourselves that we want.  I’m in no way, shape, or form, interested in ever being a part of a reality show (not that I think anyway) but that is largely in part because I care way too much about what people think of me.  But if I had the nerve, I can’t say that it wouldn’t be a consideration.  Hell these days with the new phenomenon of web series on YouTube you could really start your own.  I mean personally I think that there are way more talented people out here then the Snookies and Kardasians of the world that could stand to make a name for themselves.  Reality could be the next new way that people can market and brand themselves and become the household name that they want to be.  Would you ever consider starting or being a part of a reality show so everyone can know your name? 

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress