Tag: Road to Success

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

Are You Willing to Play the Long Game?

February 28, 2022 jcladyluv

For any individual who decides to become a creative entrepreneur, the phrase consistency is key will be one you will often hear. That’s because as a creative, unless you get super lucky or you know all of the right people you are most likely playing the long game. It will also not be an easy journey as you make your way along either. There will be a lot of no’s and not nearly enough yeses to balance out the scales. Some days your passion for whatever artistic gift you have decided is going to be what you do with your life is going to be the only thing keeping you going. Hold on to that passion because you are definitely going to need it.

I don’t say any of that to be discouraging. In fact, it’s the exact opposite. I say that because on the really hard days, the days when it just seems like no matter what you do nothing is working, it will be your passion that carries you through and whispers to you to keep going. For me and my writing career it has been a really long road and while it has been fruitful at parts, it hasn’t moved nearly as quickly as I thought it would or would have liked for it to. Honestly, if it wasn’t for my passion for the words themselves, I probably would have thrown in the towel a long time ago.

I recently took David Baldacci’s Master Class and one of the things he said was that if you really want to make it as a writer with longevity you can’t just see writing as a hobby or even just a job. Rather you have to see writing as a lifestyle. For me that’s exactly what it’s always been. I’ve known that writing was what I wanted to do with my life since I was 10 years old (really and truly it was 6 but I started producing actual material at 10) so my heart has always been in this. I have at times wanted to quit because it’s hard seeing the potential outcome and never being able to achieve that reality. However, when passion is the driving force it’s kind of hard to quit because the passion won’t let you.

So, I’ll leave you with this. If you are struggling and you’re having more and more days where you want to just quit, don’t. Anything worth having is never going to be easy to attain and if the life of an artist is the one you want, you’re going to have to be prepared to work really hard for it and stay consistent. Consistency really is the only guarantee that you won’t fail because one thing is for sure, if you don’t keep trying and working at it then you won’t ever get there. If this is something you are passionate about, something that is really in your heart to do for the rest of your career and your life, then you can’t give up now.

Until next time… #BeConsistent #BePassionate #BePatient

Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

It’s Not in How You Failed, It’s in the Way You Keep Trying

February 21, 2022 jcladyluv

“My greatest concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure.”

~Abraham Lincoln

Feeling like a failure is inevitable. At some stage in your life, depending on how ambitious your goals truly are, you will repeatedly try new things and while some of them will work out brilliantly, some of them won’t. Trial and error is a very normal part of life but sometimes those errors just seem like they keep coming, one after another, after another. To put it plain and simple, failure can be, at times, relentless and exhausting. Last week I felt like I was failing at life in general but specifically in the area of my writing business.

However, I was reminded last night when I was watching the History Channel’s Documentary on Abraham Lincoln just how much failure is ultimately a part of eventual success. After all, Abraham Lincoln had a lot of losses and he suffered from severe depression after a lot of those losses. But what he never did was give up. He never gave in to those losses and he kept trying. In the end he still won the ultimate goal he was going after, being the office of the Presidency.

I suppose I keep thinking about failure in the wrong manner. I tend to think of failure as this immovable boulder that just abruptly landed right on my path to my goals and me not being strong enough to lift it out of my way or to even work around it. Therefore, it leaves me stuck right where I am, most likely feeling weak and incapable. Of course, that’s not the way that failure should be looked at.

What failure really amounts to are mistakes that can and should be used as lessons to navigate us through the rest of the journey forward so that we, provided we actually learn from those particular failures, can avoid making the same mistakes again. Failures allow us to know what we are doing wrong so that we can course correct and get things right. I know I’ve written this before and perhaps I repeat it because I need to keep reminding myself as well (because on the really hard days I tend to forget) but if you are failing it generally means that you at the very least, tried to do something in the first place and as long as you are trying you are not failing.

It’s all about mindset and the ability we have to change ours. Instead of seeing the obstacle on the road, we need to see the multiple paths that lead us around that obstacle. They are detours from what you originally had planned but they are alternate paths that still can lead you to where you want to go with knowledge you didn’t have before. You will still have that lesson that you learned to carry with you into the next stage of the journey and with each mistake you may make, you will pick up even more knowledge. The key is seeing the mini failures along the way as opportunities and not necessarily as obstacles that need to be dodged. Just remember, when you are feeling like everything is going wrong and you aren’t getting anywhere, that you are not alone and that trying is what matters most.

Until next time… #BePersistent #BeResilient #BeFearless

Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

Pride Can Derail the Journey

February 14, 2022 jcladyluv

“He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but He who does not ask remains a fool forever”

~Chinese Proverb

I was having a conversation last week with a friend of mine in which I opened up about some personal issues I’m having and their first question to me was why haven’t I asked for help? The only response I had (which admittedly is not a very good one) was that I am too embarrassed to ask for the help that I know I need. They returned with the question of what I could possibly have to be embarrassed about and I took a moment because I knew what I was going to say sounded silly. My answer: That I’m not exactly where I should be in life at my age, and I shouldn’t have to need any help at all.

You know what’s telling. When you can hear the answer, you’re about to give someone and in your head, it made sense but logically when the words actually leave your mouth you realize it makes absolutely no sense. Now I’m not going to get into what my situation is in this post, except to say that it does boil down to financial setbacks, but I am a person who hates having to ask for help. I am typically the one who likes to figure out ways that I can help other people so to turn that around and have to admit needing the help myself is a bit touchy for me.

Nevertheless, my friend was absolutely correct in saying that having a setback of any kind in life is not and should not be embarrassing. Life comes with all kinds of roadblocks and things that just knock the wind out of you, both physically and emotionally. It shouldn’t be something that we are afraid to talk about or seek help about. Pride is not a bad thing when you’re talking about having pride in your job or career path, or something your child or family member does. However, pride that just keeps you stuck in a bad position, or even worse, makes your bad situation that much worse, is not something to cling to.

If you are having a hard time and going through a setback, you are not alone. If you need help to get through your setback then please don’t be afraid to ask for it. Don’t be so strong and proud that you end up putting yourself in an even worse position. There is nothing wrong with experiencing setbacks in life. In actuality, setbacks can very often become the set up and the building blocks for the next level that you are on your way to. Don’t let your pride be the hill that your dreams die on.

Until next time… #BeCourageous #BePatient #BeResilient

Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

Resetting Boundaries and Growing Past Your Comfort Zone in the New Year

January 3, 2022 jcladyluv

It’s a brand New Year and with any luck it will be far better than the last two years. Now I’m not going to say that nothing good happened last year because after all, I published two books, and I started my online store. Let’s just say that I had a place where I would be in mind for the end of 2021 and to say that I was far from that desired goal would be an understatement. But I digress.

This is not going to be a negative post (I know it did sound kind of negative but bear with me) but in order to know the things that we need to do to get further along the path to achieving our goals we have to first assess and evaluate where we may have gone wrong in the first place. So, I’m just being reflective of the fact that I could have done a bit more to get to my goal and noticing where I need to improve.

While we know that we can never be perfect in the things that we do (because there’s just no such thing) we can always consistently strive to be ever changing and evolve to different methods and ways of thinking that will work better for us. We don’t get anywhere if we don’t admit, at least to ourselves, that we have to be willing to get out of those comfort zones that we have settled into.

We have to set boundaries for ourselves obviously, but we have to be willing to push those boundaries as well when we see that it’s time to grow forward. Otherwise, we will stay stagnant, and our success will inevitably be limited to the parameters that we ourselves set. So, this year make sure that you are pushing forward instead of just spinning on a never-ending wheel that lands you back in the same place in which you started.

Until next time… #BeBold #BeFearless #BePersistent

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

Side note: I have a new Author Newsletter that I would love it if you signed up for http://www.tinyletter.com/Author_JCCarpenter

Another Side Note: If any of you would like to buy me a coffee and donate to my creative endeavors then please feel free to https://ko-fi.com/authorjccarpenter

Your Attitude is Everything

November 29, 2021 jcladyluv

I’ve been in a bit of a funk since last week. I realized that I am nearing the stage of burn out and that I will most likely be taking a break from this blog and my YouTube channel in the month of December. I do have prerecorded videos that will be posted throughout December on YouTube channel so I will still technically be a presence over there. This will likely be my last blog post for this year (unless I get a great spark of inspiration for something to tell you lol) because I need to refill the creative well. It is important, as a creative, to not let yourself burn out entirely before realizing that you need to take a step back.

But my moment that I was having last week was also about something else. I was feeling like all of my efforts that I put into my writing career were pointless. I felt like all of the efforts were not bearing any fruit, or not enough fruit anyway if we’re talking in terms of finances. Even up until this morning I was just feeling so down about things. Then I was listening to something where the person being interviewed said that your attitude affects how you see things. It’s not like I didn’t already know this. I just needed a bit of a reminder and that reminder came right on time this morning.

I know that whatever happens, good or bad, I am blessed just to be given another chance each day God wakes me up in the morning. It is not over until it is REALLY over, meaning when there is no breathe left in my body. So just because I am not seeing things going in the direction I want them to go in right now doesn’t mean that it’s going to stay that way. But things surely can’t change course if I were to just have an attitude of giving up.

We accomplish nothing when we throw in the towel and give away. The only thing that would ensure is that all of the progress that we have made up to that point would truly be wasted and bear no fruit at all. It gets hard sometimes when you dream big but if it were easy then it would be a vision given to everyone and not just you. Our dreams and our visions are worth fighting to make them happen, no matter what it takes.

So keep that attitude of determination and drive. Hold on to that as you push through the dark moments where that little voice in your head is telling you that it’s pointless. Your attitude will be what carries you through and you will get there. Just don’t quit!

Until next time… #BeAmbitious #BeBold #BeGrateful

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

Side note: I have a new Author Newsletter that I would love it if you signed up for http://www.tinyletter.com/Author_JCCarpenter

Another Side Note: If any of you would like to buy me a coffee and donate to my creative endeavors then please feel free to https://ko-fi.com/authorjccarpenter

Is Fear Something We Ever Get Over Or Just Something We Learn To Manage?

November 15, 2021 jcladyluv

There are a lot of things that I most likely could have accomplished by now if it weren’t for the fear that rises up whenever I am getting ready to take that metaphorical leap of faith. Sometimes I manage to nudge myself off of that ledge and just go for it anyway. More often than those times where I take the risk, are the ones in which I am frozen, paralyzed with fear. I wish there was a way to explain the anxiety I feel any time I try to go after something that I’ve been dreaming of. Or the anxiety I feel when I actually go for it.

Logically, I know that the best chance I have at succeeding in achieving my dreams is to actually go after them. But crippling fear is not logical. There are opportunities that I have had, that I have turned down, because I was just too afraid to deal with the anxiety I would experience had I taken those opportunities. I will say with absolute certainty that I have had many moments where I have tried things and stepped out on faith and have failed but those aren’t the moments that I regret the most. I regret the moments that I just didn’t step out there and try period.

Last year I was supposed to have a Year of Yes after reading Shonda Rhimes book of that same title in which she detailed how much her life turned around an d changed for the better just by saying yes. She promised herself that she would say yes to absolutely everything for an entire year. Some things she ended up wishing she hadn’t but for the most part she was forever changed for the better just by saying YES. I wanted to be that person. That did not happen. It also didn’t happen the year after that. I had modified the statement and said that I was just going to say yes more, which I did but I think that defeated the purpose behind the whole premise. I will admit I have gotten a lot better at ignoring my fear in the last few years with doing things I am terrified of but I also know I need to do better.

I haven’t gotten rid of my fear. I’m not really sure that I ever will. There was a time when I thought that I could. Now I just try the best I can to manage that fear. To not let it keep me from everything I desire to do. We all have things that make us take a beat before doing them. We have those moments where we wonder, are we doing the right thing, is this really going to work. We question whether or not we should really be going after the dream that everyone else thinks is ridiculous. We wonder if the fear is really just that gut instinct telling us that we shouldn’t do something, or us talking ourselves out of what we know we need to do. I guess fear can be tricky that way.

Until next time… #BeBold #BeCouragous #BeMotivated

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

Side note: I have a new Author Newsletter that I would love it if you signed up for http://www.tinyletter.com/Author_JCCarpenter

Another Side Note: If any of you would like to buy me a coffee and donate to my creative endeavors then please feel free to https://ko-fi.com/authorjccarpenter

Sometimes The Battles We Survive Are Lessons For Others

October 11, 2021 jcladyluv

I was listening to a motivational message yesterday that said that sometimes the things that we go through in life is not to somehow punish us but rather so that we can be a lesson for someone else later on. God uses the battles that we fight through as a tool to expose our strengths. He uses our difficulties and defeats more than he uses our successes. I often wonder how God is using the struggles that I’ve been through because sometimes it’s hard to see how any of my experiences can be of any help to someone else.

However, if we really think about it, when we listen to the stories of successful people and jot down all of the lessons that we got from their journey, we are in fact learning from their defeats. I mean no one succeeds at anything the first time out the gate. Those people who we admire and are motivated by most likely failed far more times than they will ever actually admit. Their struggles and overall experiences are what we are learning from.

I grew up in a primarily fatherless, abusive household, physically, emotionally, and mentally abusive. Affection was not something that was normal, and the words ‘I love you’ were rarely said and being bullied on top of abused by your own mother is a special level of abuse that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. As a teenager, after trying to commit suicide with pills multiple times, at 16 I finally ran away to live with a complete and total stranger because I knew if I didn’t that one day I would most certainly succeed in one of those suicide attempts.

In recent years I have become very hyperaware of the fact that I survived a lot of what I’ve gone through for a significant reason and that is to help get others through some of those same struggles, and even some of those same failures. I find myself telling my daughter now about lessons I learned through doing things the wrong way so that she hopefully will not repeat those mistakes. And yes, I know that is what we as parents are supposed to be doing but that reality is lost on some parents these days.

I say all of this to say that I know that I can somehow help someone else who may possibly be being abused at home, or being bullied relentlessly, or someone who just feels that they shouldn’t be here on this earth anymore. I have come across young teenagers who have been struggling with the types of things that I already lived through and who were feeling helpless and as if they had no purpose and I’d like to think that something I said to them helped them get through at least that one moment (at least that’s what they told me later) and I don’t know if I would have been able to be of any comfort to them had I not already gone through those same types of feelings and experiences.

Sometimes we feel that life is unfair and that things happen to us just out of the blue and for no actual good reason. I know that feeling. I used to wonder what I could have possibly done wrong to have such crappy things happen to me. But I get it now. I get that we have to take those crappy experiences and turn them around to be of good use to someone else.

We can’t change the experiences we’ve already had (unless you know of a time machine lol) but we can make sure that we allow them to serve a greater purpose. Don’t try to hide your struggles and defeats. The battles you have faced are for someone else’s benefit. Use those experiences to make sure someone else comes through on the other side of their struggles. You may have the answers that someone else is looking for.

Until next time… #BeEncouraged #BePurposeful #BeofService

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

Side note: I have a new Author Newsletter that I would love it if you signed up for http://www.tinyletter.com/Author_JCCarpenter

Another Side Note: If any of you would like to buy me a coffee and donate to my creative endeavors then please feel free to https://ko-fi.com/authorjccarpenter

You Have to Protect Your Space

September 20, 2021 jcladyluv

I am extremely careful about who I let into my space these days. I have gone from being a person with a wide circle of friends and associates to a person who just has a few select friends that I interact with, and they are people who understand that my space is precious to me and that the energy in my space can’t be negative. But then there are family members that can’t exactly be ignored or discarded because, well, they’re family.

It’s not easy to ignore negative criticism or when people talk down to you about your dreams or the things that you are working towards. It’s particularly hard when it comes from unexpected places like your family. This past weekend a family member made sure that they sent me a text message first thing in the morning to convey how sad they were that it didn’t seem like people were buying my book and that it didn’t look like I was getting any support from even my fellow authors on my Ko-fi page. They proceeded to tell me ways that I could bring more attention to my book and my site in general.

Mind you this person is not experienced in marketing (for the record nether am I), they have no idea what I have sold or haven’t sold book wise, and this person also refused to promote my book at all in the lead up to its release. Now I am okay with their lack of support even though they are family and to be fair they have contributed to my Ko-fi page (which is how they know I’m not getting enough support—at least in their eyes) but that doesn’t give them the right to try to poison my day. This person is the kind of person that somehow sees negative comments and unsolicited negative advice as them being helpful. They see negativity as a tool to toughen someone up and light the proverbial fire under them.

Now I have come a long way in learning how to ignore the negative self-talk that I have in my own mind and to put a positive spin on nearly everything because honestly it doesn’t help me to see the negative points about what I’m working towards. I know that there are some people that it works for but I am not one of those people. As a person who has suffered with many bouts of deep depression and still struggles not to let myself get to that place again, I don’t need someone pointing out every negative thing they can think of. Trust me, I have probably already said it to myself anyway.

Now this person also clearly has not researched the statistical data behind the fact the most authors do not sell a ton of books with their first book, maybe not even their second or third (hell Dan Brown said no one even paid attention to him until his fourth book) and I knew that going in and have had that fact in my mind. I don’t write or publish books to try and get rich (not that I would mind it lol). I write and publish because I love it, always have since I was ten years old (really six) and because I have things to say that I feel are important enough that someone else might actually want to read it and might even get something out of it.

This family member seems to always, when I’m at my most peaceful state, want to drop their words of negativity in my lap and just thinks I’m supposed to thank them for it. They don’t respect my space and they don’t seem to understand or care that the negative comments are not just hurtful and destructive, but they’re just unnecessary. I’m not going to deny that I got in my feelings about this message that morning for about an hour or two but then I let it go. I proceeded to ignore any further messages and didn’t respond to the one’s that were sent and I went back to protecting my space.

We all have different ideas of what our happy place is. That place of peace where even if the world starts to crumble (or feels like it anyway) you still are armed with the knowledge and self-assurance that everything will be okay. It’s that space where I know that God would never give me more than I can handle and if I’m not strong enough he will be there to provide me with the strength that I need. We have to protect our spaces and keep those who wish to destroy it out, and not to be mean or nasty, but to keep ourselves sane and okay. I hope that you are protecting your space and I wish you well in doing so.

Until next time… #BeProtective #BeMindful #BeMotivated

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

Side note: I have a new Author Newsletter that I would love it if you signed up for http://www.tinyletter.com/Author_JCCarpenter

Another Side Note: If any of you would like to buy me a coffee and donate to my creative endeavors then please feel free to https://ko-fi.com/authorjccarpenter

Do I Really Need to Say Yes More?

September 13, 2021 jcladyluv

I read Shonda Rhimes book, Year of Yes, a couple of years ago and I vowed after reading it to start saying yes to things more often. Essentially I promised myself that I would be more open to change. After all, isn’t saying yes more geared towards the things that are out of your comfort zone and that you normally wouldn’t do? I will admit that there are some things that I have done since reading that books that I ordinarily wouldn’t have done, one of them being starting my YouTube channel. There’s a few more things that I have done that required me to step out of my bubble of comfort but I would assess that there have been far more times that saying no was the better move for me.

I have struggled in the past to find that balance between throwing caution to the wind and saying yes to things and knowing when to draw the line and just say no for myself. It would seem that at the moment when I finally learned how to say no to the things that I don’t want to do for my own sanity and self-care, that I lost some of that ability to say yes. I do believe that the Pandemic of the last year and a half also gave me further permission to be more of a no person than that yes person that I was working on becoming.

Honestly, I’m not sure that I want to be that ‘say yes to everything’ person because I don’t know that I would be a very happy person if I did that. I spent most of my childhood, my twenties, and a sizable chunk of my thirties saying yes to things that I just didn’t want to do at all, but not for the aspect of change, rather to please other people. I don’t know if it’s different when you’re saying yes for change and saying yes to people please but either way I don’t know that I can be that person. Sometimes no really is the right answer.

Now this is not anything against the people who say yes to every single thing and who love doing so. I think that it’s great to discover what works for you and if you are someone who says no to EVERYTHING then you should definitely read Shonda Rhimes book and incorporate yes more into your vocabulary. It’s good to explore and step out of the bubble of comfort sometimes. For me, I just cannot say yes to everything because then I get in this place where I start feeling like I’m doing things more for someone else and not for myself. I don’t want to go back to that place where I’m pleasing everyone else by saying yes to what they think I should do to the detriment of my own mental health and my own joy. I will not give up this peace that I have found and if that means I say no more than yes, so be it.

Until next time… #BeTruetoYourself #BeStrong #BeAuthentic

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310