The Best You

“The best way to get approval is not to need it!  Focus on being the best you and the rest will take care of itself.”

~Chris Gardner 

It is natural for people to want to seek approval from others.  More often than not it is of the one’s that are immediately around you, like your friends and family.  We want them to accept us and to be proud of us and to support us in our endeavors and always encourage our ambitions.  When we don’t get that support and that approval, especially from family, we are crushed.  

As hard as we may try to hide it and act as if it doesn’t really matter that they don’t get our goals and that they don’t approve of the path we chose, it matters.  It begins to feel like if the one’s you love and are supposed to be able to look to for support can’t be there for you then everyone must be against you.  However, the problem isn’t them for not approving the goals we put forth; the problem is us for depending on the approval of anyone but ourselves to begin with. 

On the journey towards being successful in our dreams and or passions the focus has to be us; what we think, what we approve of, and what we demand of ourselves.  At some point we are going to have to realize that seeking the approval of anyone else is only going to be our downfall.  People spend so much time trying to do what others expect of them and trying to be perfect in order to fit someone else’s standards.  What they should be focused on is meeting their own standards and not so much on being perfect but on being the best that they can be for themselves.  

Trying to be what everyone else wants you to be can become exhausting and it wastes entirely too much time and energy that can be better spent.  If the people around you are making you feel as if you aren’t meeting their expectations, then you need to reevaluate who it is that you are surrounding yourself with and if they are really what you need to be focused on.  I know, easier said then done.  

It’s hard to let go of that need to be accepted and I know because I’m still working on the letting go part.  But I am starting to realize that all the time that I’ve wasted trying to seek approval and be accepted could’ve been time that went into actually accomplishing the very things that I sought approval for.  So today you should stop and ask yourselves, whose approval is that you really need?  Theirs, or your own.  Until next time…Be the best you that you can possibly be and everyone else will just have to follow suit!  

 

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

No More Negative Nancy’s

“Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power.”

~Shirley MacLaine 

In life you tend to get back what you give out.  At least that is what most people will say about how a person should perceive things.  I was watching the news this morning and they have these motivational minutes where the guy will give a tip for success for the day.  Today’s tip, in so many words, was that in order to have and attract success in your life that you have to wipe out the negativity surrounding you and get rid of those thoughts of what you can’t do and what you don’t have and just focus on what you can do and what you do have.  

This ties into getting back what you give out because I suppose if all you hear is people around you telling you that you can’t do something, or that what you want to happen for yourself can’t happen, you start to believe it then you are putting out that negative energy.  In turn all you are going to get back is negative results.  This struck a nerve with me because it seems that the more positive I try to be about my circumstances, and about my dreams and what I want out of life, the more I get negative backlash from other people, one of whom happens to be my mother, who I should get the most support from.  

When people say that you have to cut out the negativity from your life in order to really make your way towards success you never want that to include family.  I am sadly realizing, or should I say accepting, that my mother is one of those people.  When I make the mistake of sharing my ambitions with her she never fails to tell me that she thinks my dreams are impossible and that I am not living in reality.  But if I only focus on what isn’t going right and what I have not managed to accomplish just yet then I would never move forward and enjoy all that I do have and the things that I have managed to achieve.  

It’s true that lately everything has not fallen in line the way that I wanted them to, especially within this last year.  However, no matter what, I will always keep pushing through and propelling myself towards accomplishing what it is I want.  A person’s dreams are not just going to magically come true overnight but complaining about the bumps along the road is not going to change things one way or the other, so why waste that time that could be better spent.  

There is always going to be that one person around you that will make sure to run down the list of the things that you can’t get done and rub in your face what you don’t have.  But instead of listening to them you have to ask yourself why it is that they feel the need to tear you down and what is it that they don’t have that they are trying so hard to take away from you.  Until the next time…try to enjoy the things that you have accomplished and keep building on those accomplishments!  

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

Lessons In Failure

“Some failure in life is inevitable; it is impossible to live without failing at something unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all, in which case you fail by default.”              

~ J.K. Rowling

The fear of failure is paralyzing.  It is much like a parasite that sucks all of the hope, determination, and courage out of you; chipping away at your will to succeed little by little, day by day, obstacle by obstacle.  But much like any debilitating illness that takes a hold of your body, there is a recovery process.  It may take longer than you think to get there but the key is wanting it bad enough and keeping your eye on the light at the end of the tunnel. 

It is safe to say that we are all going to fail at some point in our lives.  It is both what we do with, and how we chose to perceive that failure that determines whether it will cripple us or make us stronger.  Where some people get off track is in perceiving any moment of failure as anything but a much needed step forward in our road to success.  If we never fail it means we have never taken any risk and that we have always played things safe.  But playing it safe isn’t really living.

We need failure.  Yes it causes us to doubt ourselves, to lose sight of our purpose, even to think about giving up altogether.  But it also brings about a realization.  It humbles us while strengthening us.  It breaks us down and then builds us back up.  It renews our fight and determination to achieve the things that we really want out of life.  Without our failures we might never truly appreciate or grasps the depths of our successes.  If you are afraid to fail then you are essentially afraid to live because in living your life to its fullest potential, failure is inevitable. 

For a large part of my life I have let the fear of failure immobilize me.  Always trying to remain cautious; using the excuse of maintaining a routine as a reason to ward off change, all the while staying stuck in the same place because of it.  From here on out I am not going to be so afraid to fail that I never even try to succeed.  Instead I plan to embrace my failures, every single one of them, because they all mean something.  Whether it is something good or something bad, it is a lesson nonetheless.  Our failures show us what we did wrong so that we can finally get it right.  If anyone reading this is struggling with this same fear, let go of it right now.  It is that fear of failure that is killing your opportunity for success.  Take a risk today, and if you fail, take another one tomorrow.  What else do have to lose?  Think about what you stand to gain.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm
http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://jayceedurant.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://freemynd.wordpress.com/

http://spokenlikeaqueen.blogspot.com/ 

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

www.authorsden.com/jimmettacarpenter