I’m Not Sitting Out This Quarter

“Sometimes in life you have to play in pain.”

~Joel Osteen Life is not about waiting for the storm

I’ve learned (the hard way) that you can’t stop pressing forward for every scrape, every bruise, every hurt ankle.  Yes you may slow down a bit but you have to keep moving or you will never get to where it is you are going.  I hadn’t realized until recently that last year when I just stopped moving and gave up it was as if I was saying that I don’t want to play the game anymore and made myself a bench warmer.

I let all the pain I was feeling and the emotional heaviness stop me cold in my tracks.  At the time I would’ve never admitted to myself that I was doing that but now I am ready to get back in there.  I am ready to play this game whether I am hurt or not, whether I go along limping or skipping, whether I have to cry through the process or smile through it.  One thing is for sure, I am not a bench warmer.  I don’t enjoy watching as things happen right in front of me and even more so I hate when something is happening that I know I am supposed to be a part of and I’m not.

Even when you have those moments where you need to take a five minute rest and collect your thoughts, prepare your next move in your head first, you still have to have the mindset that this is just a break and not a complete stand still.  Watching other people accomplish the things that you want to achieve is what happens when you take too long of a break in your journey.  You have to keep moving, you have to press on and get off of the bench.

Don’t get me wrong, bench warmers are important.  There is always a need for the second string players and they have their purpose but if you know that you are not one, if you know that you belong in that starting position, then don’t sit on that bench and watch while someone else takes the spot that is yours.  Trust me, you will hate every second of seeing someone else live the life that should be yours.  So if you are over there sitting on that bench and you know you are supposed to be starting, then now (not tomorrow, and not a week from now) is the time to take your position back.  It was your position all along, claim it!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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When the Focus Has Been Found

Focus (spelled out)

I have in mind the plans for this year and what I wanted to get accomplished but my plans were somewhat generalized.  I hadn’t been able to be more detailed in my plans and my goals and the focus was a bit off.  Then I talked to Ms. L last night and we talked about things that had nothing to do with writing or our separate businesses, things that were personal.  Eventually we did get to the topic of our business endeavors and I expressed my frustration to her because I knew the things I wanted to do and get done but I just didn’t have a concrete plan (or even a vague one) of how to go about accomplishing them.

Within a manner of thirty minutes (probably less) Ms. L helped me to develop a comprehensive plan of action to get the things I need done, more specific details on how to get the most out of those things, and a plan to promote those projects that I have to get accomplished.  She even helped me to add some projects to the list which tie in really well with the other ideas and can do more for my business as a whole.  She helped to focus my ideas and goals so that they weren’t so all over the place in my mind.

Ms. L is a godsend and I am so thankful that God sent me a friend like her, whose mind works similar to mine, whose bones in her body also are filled with creativity.  I wrote a post about when you don’t have the right people around you it could essentially hinder your progress.  However, having the right person or people around you, who have the same ideals and whose goals are not necessarily the same, but inadvertently linked with one another.

Ms. L was definitely someone sent into my life by God and she keeps me sane and she reminds me whenever I forget (and I forget a lot) that everything that I need to make my dreams a reality is already within me so long as I have the faith that it is there.  Make sure that you know who is surrounding you but not only that, make sure that you don’t let their value in your life go to waste.  God didn’t put them there in your life for nothing.  He placed them there so they could be a vessel to use, so use them!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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The Faith of a Child

Faith of a child

I remember when I was younger having such big dreams.  They were dreams that honestly seemed impossible to everyone that I told them to but to me they seemed like a no brainer.  You couldn’t have ever told me then that I wasn’t ever going to achieve those goals because I would’ve just told you that you were crazy for not believing in me and my talent and abilities.

As I got older and into my adulthood and life started to unfold differently than my original plan my dreams shifted, in some ways to include larger goals, and the words of those naysayers started to get inside my head.  I started to think that I was wishing for too much and dreaming way too big.  I started to think that maybe I should only strive for what seemed realistically possible.  I guess along the way my big dreams were always still in the back of my mind but I managed to dull their shine by settling for the things that seemed somewhat achievable, the things that were safely within my reach.

I was watching Joel Osteen the other morning and he spoke about dreaming big and not being afraid to pray God-sized prayers for yourself because there is nothing so big that God can’t do.  He reminded me that you get what you ask for, or in this case pray for, and that if all you ever do is pray the safe prayers and ask for the small and ordinary things, then that is what you’re going to get.  He reminded me that I am not bothering God to ask for what I really want and that it is not selfish to go big rather than play it safe.

I was never one to want a mediocre life before and my dreams cannot become a reality if I only play things safe so why am I.  Don’t get me wrong, I do pray, a lot, but I pray unselfish prayers and I pray things for my daughter, or for what would suffice for the moment to get me through a particular period of time.  I suppose I somehow developed this idea that there were certain things that I shouldn’t ask God for, things that would sound selfish considering the misfortune of so many in this world, things that seemed too big to ask God for, things that I guess I didn’t want to believe were possible for me to have, which is funny because when I was younger I never believed that anything was impossible for me to have.

What Joel Osteen was saying about daring to ask God for the big things, the things that seem to be impossible, resonated with me.  It took me back to that kid that wasn’t afraid to dream big and who wasn’t scared to pray for those things that everyone else thought I was crazy for even hoping would come true.  I hadn’t realized that I was putting limitations on God and what he was able to do for me.  More importantly, I was underestimating what God’s purpose for me was and not being bold enough to ask him for what he had already promised me was mine.

When you are seeking out the things you want most out of life, don’t walk in the safe zone like I have been doing.  Walk in the faith zone and trust in what God has planned for you.  If you have not, it is because you asked not.  Dare to dream big and stop praying small.  God is an awesome God who can do so many big things that he is just waiting for us to ask for.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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The One’s You Choose to Surround Yourself With

surround yourself with right people

I’ll be the first one to admit that I tend to let other people’s opinions of me, and of what I am trying to achieve with my writing, affect me more than I should.  Particularly people who are family and supposed to be supportive of you no matter what.  It’s hard to tell when people are just saying that they are for you or if they are genuinely for you and their actions resemble that.

People can support you and give you so-called help when asked but somehow still not be supportive because they throw it up in your face that you needed to ask for their help to begin with.  When people help you with strings attached then their support is on paper only.  When I say strings attached I mean they do sometihng for the shere ability to be able to ask you for something in return later. Or so that they can have it to hold over your head and rub it in to you that without their assistance you might not have been able to accomplish whatever it was they halped you with. Those kinds of people who support you, are only really waiting for you to fail, or for the moment when they can remind you that you once needed their help.

It hurts the most when those very same people are in your family or inner circle because those are the one’s who you look to be supportive of you and there for you without any conditions.  Sadly, it doesn’t always turn out that way.  Know the people around you.  Everyone who is presumably for you is not for you.  Your kin is not always your kind.

The people that surround you are very important in achieving your goals and dreams.  The wrong people will only bring you down and continue to pull you down as you climb your way up.  But the right people, they are going to be the one’s who help to push you forward and to give you a hand and pull you up if you start to fall.  Don’t let anyone drag you down simply because they are your family.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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Picking the Battles That Matter

Choose your battles wisely

Ever had that question in the back of your mind of why when all you are doing is trying to follow through with your purpose, make your dreams a reality, is that it seems every curveball you can possibly think of is thrown at you.  It almost seems like right when you are about to reach the peak of your journey up the mountain that an avalanche of obstacles falls right in your path.

It’s almost enough to make you want to stop and rethink the journey and whether or not it is the one that you are truly supposed to be on.  You second guess yourself a lot when the challenges seem to be so daunting and never-ending.  However, when you look at some of the most successful people in life and go examine the journey that they took to get where they are, it would appear that the one’s with the most difficult challenges on the road to their destiny were the ones who achieved the biggest rewards for their efforts.

I admit that I get thrown off course a lot of the times by the enormity of my struggles and also by people that surround me that don’t always seem to be for me.  Oddly enough these aren’t even people in my inner circle, they are people who just always seem to have something to say against what it is I’m trying to do and I let it get to me.  Sometimes it makes the struggles feel even more insurmountable because no one seems to understand my vision or what I’m really all about.

I was watching something yesterday and it reminded me that not everyone is going to like me, not everyone is going to understand me or what it is I’m trying to do, but that is because it is not for everyone to understand.  I keep getting lured off track trying to somehow prove that I am worthy, that I am important, that what I’m trying to do is important and that it matters.  It is said that the enemy (those that are against you) always fights us the hardest when we are the closest to our victories.

As it pertains to my struggles, Joel Osteen once said in his messages that you cannot expect ordinary problems if you are an extraordinary person, a history maker, so to speak.  I definitely know that I am not an ordinary person and that I intend to be a history maker so I suppose that means I better get ready for some even more challenging battles ahead.

In life, when you are trying to accomplish so much, there just simply isn’t any time to waste energy on things or people that just don’t matter.  That’s not to say that we should be unfeeling or cold towards people in general.  It’s just that when you know what you’re purpose is you have to know which battles to choose before wasting energy on the battles that don’t matter.

If the people you are surrounding yourself with aren’t for you and aren’t going to help you along your journey then that’s a battle that you need to let go of.  So start letting go of unnecessary baggage today because you’re journey.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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What We Don’t Get

progress not perfection

Why is it that we tend to always focus on what we didn’t do?  Think about it.  When we make a to-do list for the day or the week, once the day or week is over, all we focus on are the tasks that didn’t get checked off.  I’m guilty of this myself.  I sit and stress and beat myself up over the two or three things on a list of ten that didn’t get done instead of celebrating, or at the very least, acknowledging what I actually got done.

I suppose when you step back and look at a list of ten things and see that you got at least seven of them done you are supposed to give yourself a pat on the back but all I ever see is that I didn’t get EVERYTHING done.  We hold ourselves to such high expectations for our own accomplishments sometimes that we forget to take some pride in the things that did get done, for the good job that we have done thus far.

God didn’t build the universe in one day so why is it that we think that we can get everything done all at once.  All of the things worth having, the dreams that we are creating, the legacy that we are building, they can’t all be completed at a moment’s notice.  They take time.  Don’t rush what will eventually get done in the time that it’s supposed to be accomplished.

If we want the best we have to have patience because rushed work doesn’t always turn out to be the best work.  Take your time and give yourself credit for what has already been completed.  Don’t let what you don’t have diminish what you already do have!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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The Required Struggle We Have to Fall For

Struggles are required

When I saw this post on Facebook I had just been thinking about how much I am getting tired of falling down (metaphorically speaking) on this journey of mine.  It gets frustrating when what you want is right there, you can almost reach it, it’s so close but the closer you move towards it, it only seems to move further away.

If you’re like most people, you begin to question the end goal, wondering if it’s what you’re really meant to have, if it’s even what you really want.  Then you start to doubt if it was every what you really wanted to begin with (okay well I’ve never doubted wanted to be a writer, just whether I had the ability) or have you just been trying to convince yourself of that.

But the reality is that if you were handed everything that you wanted, on a silver platter, so to speak, and never had to work hard to get there, would you really be able to appreciate finally achieving it.  There is something to be said for hard work and struggling to get ahead.  Once you know what it’s like to fail, to fall down often (in my case continually), to have to keep pushing through all the pain and all of the people who are going to tell you no, you don’t take it for granted when you finally get that yes and when you finally get to that level that you are trying to get to.

I sometimes think that people who were born with all the options afforded to them and who don’t have to necessarily struggle to get what they want so much don’t really appreciate what it’s like not to have it.  It’s hard when you keep getting knocked down.  Honestly, sometimes you just want to lie there and not get back up because you just get tired.  But of course staying down is never an option, at least it’s not the one that’s actually going to get you where you want to go.

So if you are like me, feeling like you might just want to lie there.  That’s okay for a moment, but don’t stay down.  Stand up and keep going because the struggle, yes even the part where you fall down, is worth it to get to what God has planned for you.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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Giving It My All, Even if the Progress is Slow

3 choices in life

Facebook tends to provide a lot of inspirational sayings to me these days but I suppose it also helps to have inspirational people as your Facebook friends.  Read a saying that said we have three choices in life, you either give up, you give in, or you give it all you’ve got.

I think last year, not sure at what point, I not only gave up but I also gave in.  I threw in the towel and everything because I was just tired of fighting for something that seemed to be avoiding me at every turn.  When this year started I realized that I needed to give it all that I’ve got and get back up and get into this fight again.

The problem I have every now and then is that my emotions tend to get the better of me and when things in my personal life are not going the way that I wish they were my focus is shifted.  I am a great at multi-tasking when it comes to writing and working on different projects at one time but what I am not good at multi-tasking my personal emotions and my focus on my writing project.

I wish I was better at it but all I can say is that these last few days in which I have not been able to concentrate on my project are not going to get the better of me.  I am not going to let it completely debilitate me like it did last year.  I’m already doing one step better because I thought about not writing this post today and sinking deep into the emotion that I was feeling and as you see, that’s not the decision that I rested on.

Progress comes slowly sometimes but I am working on myself and on staying motivated.  I’m not there yet but I am getting there.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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My Past is Preparation for My Future

learn from past not live in it

I saw a post on Facebook that had a quote that said “don’t look back, you’re not going that way”.  It got me to thinking about the past and things I’ve been through, things other people have been through and how the past really does affect our lives.

It’s true that we can’t let our past hurts and tragedies alter our lives in such a way that it stunts the growth that needs to be made throughout.  However, aren’t our past experiences a huge part of who we are, of what makes us stronger and more motivated, and what, all in all, equips us with lessons and oftentimes harsh realities that prepare us for the purpose that we are placed on this earth to fulfill.  What we go through in our childhood, in our teenage years, in our early adulthood, they give us tools that we need to be able to deal with the long and at times tiring journey to our destination.  Particularly if our past experiences are not so ideal.

There’s a saying that you can’t have a testimony without any tests, so maybe we shouldn’t be so quick to completely forget our pasts experiences.  I will be the first to admit that I am an extremely emotional person and that I have allowed certain instances in my past to affect my present way too much, which inevitably affects my future.  While I know that I can’t exactly forget everything that happened, I’m not even sure I can totally forgive (just yet), I do know that I need to let go a little.

I would say that I need to let go completely but those things are what makes me the person that I am and what will give me the strength to continue my journey into being who it is I am truly meant to be.  Without the past I don’t know that I would be fully ready for the future that God has planned for me.  So with that said, I tell you, that while you shouldn’t keep a firm grip on your past experiences, maybe you shouldn’t completely let them go because they are what is building you up to take on whatever is coming your way as you travel to your destination.  Our pasts can only hinder us if we allow it to and if we allow ourselves to only remember the hurt and not the lessons that came from that hurt.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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If I Knew Then What I Know Now

Note to Self

I have been seeing a lot of Facebook posts and news stories about people making notes to their younger selves, asking what they would warn their younger selves about if they could.  It got me to thinking about what I would say to the younger version of me if I could somehow warn her or prepare her for the journey she will have to endure to get where it is she wants to go.  I would definitely clue her in on the difficulty that she would have along the way.

If I could go back and talk to my younger self I think that I would start by telling her that her childhood and how her mother treated her did not have to be a defining factor for how her life would end up.  I would tell her that while she didn’t get the love and support from her mother that she deserved and longed for, that she was still worthy of being loved and deserving of being supported in all her endeavors.  I would tell her that her mother was wrong about her never having anyone that would love her or care deeply about her and that she was wrong about her not having a good future.

I think I would make sure to tell her that if no one else ever told her that she was beautiful that she needed to look in that mirror every day and let herself know that she was because in the end her opinion and God’s were the only two that mattered.  I probably would tell her that she was a unique and special person and unlike any other and that she needed to carry the knowledge of that with her throughout her journey because there will be people who will make her feel like her uniqueness is somehow wrong.

I would tell my younger self to not waste so much time planning everything out and trying to force everything to go by a specific routine because the best things in her life are going to be unplanned.  I would tell her that her plans for her life are nothing compared to the plans that God has for her so don’t get too upset when what she planned didn’t pan out.  I would tell her that her journey is going to be full of hurdles and obstacles along the way that even though these obstacles seem like signs for you to give up, they’re just the opposite.  I would let her know the that the harder the struggle the more rewarding the payoff will be.

I would open her eyes to the reality that the things that she wants out of life are not just going to happen just like that and that life is going to throw more curveballs than she believes she can handle.  Then I would tell her how strong she is to have already survived the childhood that she has been through and that that is only the beginning of her story.  I will get it through to her that she cannot live in her past pain because if she does she will never experience the joy she has yet to come.

When I was younger I was so in fantasy land about how my life was supposed to turn out.  I thought that if I just set a plan in motion that everything would work out EXACTLY the way that I said they would.  I made no room in my plans for error and mistakes.  I made no allowances for curveballs and mountains that would be placed directly in my path.  I gave no thought to the fact that my plans were not as big as God’s plans for me and the fact that God’s plans, whatever they are, were always going to prevail.  So I guess the most important thing I would have to say I would tell my younger self is to enjoy life, enjoy the journey, embrace the struggle, and to just let go and LET GOD!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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