Tag: dreams

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The Required Struggle We Have to Fall For

January 23, 2014 jcladyluv

When I saw this post on Facebook I had just been thinking about how much I am getting tired of falling down (metaphorically speaking) on this journey of mine. It gets frustrating when what you want is right there, you can almost reach it, it’s so close but the closer you move towards it, it only seems to move further away.

If you’re like most people, you begin to question the end goal, wondering if it’s what you’re really meant to have, if it’s even what you really want. Then you start to doubt if it was every what you really wanted to begin with (okay well I’ve never doubted wanted to be a writer, just whether I had the ability) or have you just been trying to convince yourself of that.

But the reality is that if you were handed everything that you wanted, on a silver platter, so to speak, and never had to work hard to get there, would you really be able to appreciate finally achieving it. There is something to be said for hard work and struggling to get ahead. Once you know what it’s like to fail, to fall down often (in my case continually), to have to keep pushing through all the pain and all of the people who are going to tell you no, you don’t take it for granted when you finally get that yes and when you finally get to that level that you are trying to get to.

I sometimes think that people who were born with all the options afforded to them and who don’t have to necessarily struggle to get what they want so much don’t really appreciate what it’s like not to have it. It’s hard when you keep getting knocked down. Honestly, sometimes you just want to lie there and not get back up because you just get tired. But of course staying down is never an option, at least it’s not the one that’s actually going to get you where you want to go.

So if you are like me, feeling like you might just want to lie there. That’s okay for a moment, but don’t stay down. Stand up and keep going because the struggle, yes even the part where you fall down, is worth it to get to what God has planned for you.

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

If I Knew Then What I Know Now

January 16, 2014 jcladyluv

I have been seeing a lot of Facebook posts and news stories about people making notes to their younger selves, asking what they would warn their younger selves about if they could. It got me to thinking about what I would say to the younger version of me if I could somehow warn her or prepare her for the journey she will have to endure to get where it is she wants to go. I would definitely clue her in on the difficulty that she would have along the way.

If I could go back and talk to my younger self I think that I would start by telling her that her childhood and how her mother treated her did not have to be a defining factor for how her life would end up. I would tell her that while she didn’t get the love and support from her mother that she deserved and longed for, that she was still worthy of being loved and deserving of being supported in all her endeavors. I would tell her that her mother was wrong about her never having anyone that would love her or care deeply about her and that she was wrong about her not having a good future.

I think I would make sure to tell her that if no one else ever told her that she was beautiful that she needed to look in that mirror every day and let herself know that she was because in the end her opinion and God’s were the only two that mattered. I probably would tell her that she was a unique and special person and unlike any other and that she needed to carry the knowledge of that with her throughout her journey because there will be people who will make her feel like her uniqueness is somehow wrong.

I would tell my younger self to not waste so much time planning everything out and trying to force everything to go by a specific routine because the best things in her life are going to be unplanned. I would tell her that her plans for her life are nothing compared to the plans that God has for her so don’t get too upset when what she planned didn’t pan out. I would tell her that her journey is going to be full of hurdles and obstacles along the way that even though these obstacles seem like signs for you to give up, they’re just the opposite. I would let her know the that the harder the struggle the more rewarding the payoff will be.

I would open her eyes to the reality that the things that she wants out of life are not just going to happen just like that and that life is going to throw more curveballs than she believes she can handle. Then I would tell her how strong she is to have already survived the childhood that she has been through and that that is only the beginning of her story. I will get it through to her that she cannot live in her past pain because if she does she will never experience the joy she has yet to come.

When I was younger I was so in fantasy land about how my life was supposed to turn out. I thought that if I just set a plan in motion that everything would work out EXACTLY the way that I said they would. I made no room in my plans for error and mistakes. I made no allowances for curveballs and mountains that would be placed directly in my path. I gave no thought to the fact that my plans were not as big as God’s plans for me and the fact that God’s plans, whatever they are, were always going to prevail. So I guess the most important thing I would have to say I would tell my younger self is to enjoy life, enjoy the journey, embrace the struggle, and to just let go and LET GOD!

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

I Hear No Differently

January 15, 2014 jcladyluv

I get so tired of hearing no. For some people, when they hear No they hear a challenge and it stirs within them motivation. That’s what you should hear when people tell you No. But that’s not what I hear.

I hear rejection over and over again. I hear me putting myself out there and putting my heart all in it for nothing. I hear you’re never going to be as good as them so why bother trying. I hear you’re never going to be good enough for anyone. I hear you’re not worthy and you have no value. It wasn’t always that way. I used to get fired up by a no and it instilled a desire to prove people wrong.

However, somewhere along the way it weakened me and certain people’s negative words and opinions of me started to seem like they may have had some merit to them. The negatives began to outweigh the positives and I bought into it. I keep hearing other people’s success stories and how they heard nothing but no’s until finally that one yes happened that impacted their lives forever. I read those stories and I think “where the hell is my yes?”

I’ll admit that the better part of last year I literally just gave up (whew, there I said it). The no’s just bogged me down and sent me into a state of depression and I just didn’t feel like fighting for my dream anymore. I started to fabricate in my mind that the no’s were a sign telling me that this just wasn’t meant for me and maybe I’m not a talented enough writer to really make it. I just wasn’t motivated anymore.

The negatives became more believable than the positives because there were just not enough positives to go on. I kept waiting for something to happen, perhaps a yes would just fall into my lap because I felt like I could no longer just keep putting in my all only to get back nothing. Luckily for me, my love and passion for writing and for seeing all of my dreams come to fruition never died. It remained just as strong as it had ever been, it just got pushed down by all of the negative stuff that I was letting cloud my head.

As I stated in my previous post I have recently come to some realizations about myself and in reevaluating a lot of things, truths that weren’t clear and obvious to me before, I see that the yeses weren’t coming because I never truly believed they would. If I wasn’t going to believe in me how could I expect anyone else to?

Self-evaluation can be really good for you and in my case it kind of woke me up to all of the opportunities that I was missing out on because I didn’t really believe I was good enough to receive them. I was sabotaging myself with my own self-doubt. I’m not saying that I won’t still have my days where the doubt creeps in there. But now that I can see clearer what I was doing to my own dreams I am more aware of what needs to be done to get the yeses that I know I deserve to hear.

Of course there will be more no’s along with way but I have to keep in mind that if I hear a no it’s because God has something better and that it wasn’t for me to begin with. Are your own doubts and fears getting the better of you too? Just keep in mind that every door is not meant for you to open.

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

New Year, New Goals, New Deadlines

January 13, 2014 jcladyluv

It’s a New Year and I am a little late at getting started on my goals, one of them being returning back to my normal blogging style. It seems I was thrown a major obstacle in the first week of it being a new year. I had been anticipating this year and all of the things that I hope that it holds for me but I didn’t factor in that for great rewards there will more than likely be even greater struggles. It is so much easier said than done to just “get over it” and not let whatever the issues you are facing bother you. It’s particularly hard when you feel like every time you start being able to stay afloat some circumstance comes along to push you right back underwater again.

I have made plans for the New Year and set my expectations for myself and once again I am afraid that I might have been a bit too ambitious. However, I am going to do my best to make those goals happen and despite how this year is starting off I am going to try my hardest to make the most of it. This is my first blog post of the New Year and I am excited to see what this year has in store for me in my writing career and every other aspect of my life. Hope all of your New Year’s goals are set and that you aren’t as late getting started on them as I am.

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Thinking Out Loud

November 14, 2013 jcladyluv

I know that it is National Novel Writing Month and I am supposed to be participating. I had a plan, I signed up, and even tried to motivate myself to focus on doing it. Nevertheless, I have not written anything on the novel that I was supposed to be finishing (that truthfully should have been finished by now) and to add to the lack of production, I have not done a very good job lately of keeping up with this blog which I love.

I tried to pinpoint the reasons behind my recent lack of motivation towards writing in general, thinking that for some time it has been my focus and determination to finish up my degree that was enabling my laziness when it came to my writing. But now that I am finished with my Master’s degree (and have time to contemplate whether or not I want to enter the doctorate program) I thought for sure this would be the perfect time to get back into high gear with all of my writing efforts.

Sadly, that has not been how it was been working out. I have felt so un-motivated to write anything, and feeling a lot like what I say doesn’t matter. I’ve been mostly feeling a little depressed that my writing career hasn’t evolved into what I thought it would have already been by now. I even mentally entertained the idea that there could be a possibility, that somehow I was not cut out to be a writer like I had dreamed about since the age of 6 and that maybe all this time I thought that God was instructing me that this was my calling and maybe I was wrong, maybe I assumed what I wanted to assume and that wasn’t what my calling was at all. I even entertained the reasoning that my heart just wasn’t in it anymore, that maybe the amount of rejection for my (what I always thought was talented) writing had somehow hardened me and that I just couldn’t muster up the energy to try it anymore.

All of those thoughts have been running through my mind and life throwing other monumental curveballs at me in the interim has added its share of unproductiveness. But then I think of the fact that if that were truly the case, if it truly was not in me to do anymore, if this truly was not the calling that I had always perceived it to be, that I wouldn’t still have so many (good) ideas that flow through my mind and so many ways that I feel I can use my writing, my words to implement things that will not only change my life but the lives of the other people around me.

My whole message for Write 2 Be is to instill empowerment to people, in particular to children who are constantly told that they can never be what it is that they want to be, that there is nothing that they can’t do with the willpower and determination to make it happen. Sometimes I have to remind myself that even when it seems like what I am trying to do doesn’t matter, that it does, and not just to me, not just for my daughter, but for anyone who has ever felt discouraged and who has ever been overrun by their fears of never being able to be what it is they feel that they were truly meant to be. I can’t say why my motivation has dwindled these past several months, but I know that I am definitely not throwing in the towel on my dreams and on my purpose.

I feel like I needed to write this because I get the feeling that I am not the only one of you out there who has had these feelings and these doubts. I suppose the hardest part of feeling the fear and doubt in yourself is thinking that you are all alone in thinking what others are too afraid to say out loud. So this is me thinking out loud and hoping that it helps the rest of you who might be thinking the same thoughts and feeling the same way know that someone else gets it too.

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

When You Feel Your Passion is Slipping Away: 4 Ways to Reignite Your Passion for Your Craft

June 19, 2013 jcladyluv

Every now and then some (not all) writers start to feel like they may be losing their passion for the craft. It most likely isn’t because they actually don’t want to write anymore. Rather because they are stalled in the current project that they are working on. The answer is not to start separating yourself from your craft, or to give up altogether.

Yes sometimes you may need to take a small step back but make sure that it is a very tiny step and not you completely letting something you love drift away from you. I want to give some suggestions of some things that you could do to spark that passion inside of you again that you might feel is weaning.

1) Go back and read a few or all of the books that made you want to be a writer in the first place

2) Go through things that you have written in the past. Go as far back as some of the first pieces of writing that you did.

3) Watch movies that inspire you and your love of writing. Whether it is movies about writers or writing in general, or whether it is a movie that provides you with inspiration for the screenplay you want to write, something that sparks your creativity for a story line of your own.

4) Do something that fuels your creativity. Go to a museum, go to an art show, go see a play, go to a writer’s conference, or if you are into nature, just take a walk and observe the things around you.

I know that feeling when you start to question everything you thought you knew about your talent and your writing abilities. You start to feel like you aren’t as passionate about this as you used to be. You begin to wonder if the fact that your current project is stalled or that you’ve just been hit with writer’s block means you’re no longer supposed to be writing. You’re not as productive as you once were.

None of this is a reason for you to just give up on your dream. It’s a reason for you to find that spark again and reignite that passion that you had to begin with. If you are feeling a little unproductive and like your love for writing is in question, your passion is not gone. It may just be a little lost, but it can be found again. Keep going and find a way to reignite that spark.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Write 2 Be Magazine is now out so please go check it out at http://write2bemagazine.com/. Also please go and join the magazine on twitter https://twitter.com/write2bemag, join the email listing for the magazine or submit a request for an author interview at Write2bemagazine@yahoo.com, and also like the Write 2 Be Magazine fan page https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine. Please help support my endeavor and my new journey and help me spread the word about Write 2 Be and its meaning.

Sometimes You Have to Take a Step Back Just to Realize How Much You’ve Grown

June 13, 2013 jcladyluv

I realize that I have slacked off a lot lately in my writing. Or at least that is what I think until I realize that I have kept up pretty well with this blog and other articles that I am writing for other blogs and publications. Let’s not forget that I am still in school finishing up a Master’s degree so that is not to be taken lightly. I am really hard on myself. I am my own worst critic but then again I think most of us are highly critical of ourselves. But when do we ever stop to take a step back to really look at the progress that we have made.

I was talking to Ms. L. last night and we were talking about our journey’s and I was telling her that while I know that most people don’t understand certain choices that I have made, and if I am being honest some days it doesn’t make sense to me either, but I feel like the path I am walking is the one that I am meant to walk. It may be unconventional (that would be putting it mildly) and it may not be the most common sense choice (to other people who don’t have to walk in my shoes) but I just know that it is the right one.

I told Ms. L. last night that when I do reach my destiny, when I achieve the purpose that God has for me, it will all make sense and then everyone will wonder why they ever questioned my choices. Truthfully they weren’t solely my mine. They were what I was being guided to do. Knowing who I am and that what God has for me is nothing but good, I have to trust the path that I am on.

I am working on not being so harsh on myself and on the lack of productiveness that I feel is taking place within my work right now. I just have to remind myself to take a step back every once and a while. Survey everything I’ve accomplished, everything that I have been through and the person that I have grown into. I have to acknowledge that everything may not be the way I want it to be right now and I may not be in the position that I feel I should be in right now but I am right where I should be and everything is just as it should be. It’s the way God has designed it to be.

When you think you’re not doing enough, that you haven’t moved an inch, take a step back and just look at where you were compared to where you are now. I guarantee you that, even if it is small, you will see a difference!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Don’t Fight the Challenges That Are Meant to Prepare You for Your Purpose

June 11, 2013 jcladyluv

“Since the Lord is directing our steps, why do we try to figure out everything that happens along the way?”

~Proverbs 20:24

So last week was not one of my better weeks. I will even admit that things were going so much in the opposite direction of the way I wanted them to go that I had gotten a little bit angry with God (crazy I know, but I can’t be the only one that has) for not allowing things to happen the way that I had expected them to. Of course it didn’t take long for me to realize that that was the wrong attitude to have and to remember that God would never give me more than he thought I could handle.

When I was watching Joel Osteen on Sunday morning (and I did not intend to watch it, it was on a channel that it normally doesn’t even come on) he delivered a message that, once again, was right on time for me and that put everything into perspective. He essentially said that in worrying about your struggles and in getting frustrated about your circumstances you are not trusting God and the fact that he knows what he is doing and that he has already mapped out your entire life, bumps and bruises included. Sometimes God uses our struggles and our tough times to strengthen us and to prepare us for the next level of what he has planned for our lives, for our purpose.

Our wanting to be comfortable and have nothing but constant victory is unrealistic and when I think about it, is probably not for the best. Our struggles and our bad times, that’s what builds character in us. Those are the times when God shows us what we are made of and where sometimes we even surprise ourselves on how well things turn out once you’ve come out on the other side. If we keep fighting the circumstances that make us uncomfortable and that seem impossible to get through we just might miss all of the wonderful things that can happen along the way as a result of those challenges.

We pray for things and when our prayers don’t get answered we get so frustrated and discouraged (this very much includes me) but I have been thinking lately, especially since watching Joel Osteen, maybe those prayers that don’t get answered are God showing us just how much he loves us. There are things that are just not meant for us to have or to experience and God, being the one who sees everything in our future, just might be protecting us by not answering our prayers to begin with.

So while my situation has not yet improved, I am going to start embracing where I am now, and just be grateful for the moment that I am in. I am going to try to remember that sometimes having to be outside of my comfort zone can be a really good thing and it can also be preparing me for the next phase in my life. Don’t fight the divine delays that God is using to prepare you for your destiny. Live where you are, not where you feel you should be!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Are We Faking It to Our Own Detriment?

May 22, 2013 jcladyluv

There is this mantra that people have come to live by that is supposed to help motivate them to keep moving forward and not get hung up on what they haven’t achieved. “Fake it until you make it” is what people tell you to do when you are trying to achieve certain goals that you haven’t quite reached yet. So often I have been told that even if I don’t have it all together and I haven’t achieved all of the goals that I am striving towards that I should just essentially pretend that I have made it, that I have it all together, and that I am already a success even though I still have a long way to go.

It sounded like good advice and I completely understand what good intentions are meant by this mantra. I have even repeated this advice to others because I firmly believed that it was the right attitude to have. Now I’m not so sure. I mean I don’t think that you are ever supposed to lose sight of the goals and dreams that you are moving towards accomplishing but I am not so sure that faking it is the right way to really go about it.

I read a blog post last night about how the mantra of faking it could actually be the reason your message is falling on deaf ears (so to speak). It made me think, if I am trying to promote brand ME and I want people to connect to me, do I want people to get the me that I am pretending to be, that I think that they want, or do I want people to connect to the real me, the me that just doesn’t have it all together yet. If I am not being authentic, then what is the point of me trying to get my words out there and to connect with readers?

Everyone wants to be accepted for who they are, imperfections and all, but how can that be possible if we are all too busy pretending to be what it is we wish we were, what we think people want us to be. No real good comes of pretending to be someone other than yourself and it is just deceptive to think that we have to put on this false pretense. So I thought that I would real today (I try to be real most of the time but sometimes I hide behind my insecurities) and share things I don’t normally say out loud.

I am a writer, true enough, but I do not have it all together. I am not as successful as I sometimes try to pretend to be. Sometimes, frankly I am just winging it with this whole writing thing and I don’t have even half of the answers. I don’t write as much as I should. I don’t seem to have a knack for this social media thing so my name is not as well known as I had hoped it would be at this point in my life.

To be completely honest, some days I really have no idea what I am doing, I am just trying to be the best writer that I know how to be and I am trying to hold on to that passion that I have for writing. There are days when trying to focus on the business side of being a writer is so frustrating I start to think about never writing again. I question regularly, despite my saying that I know writing is my true purpose, if maybe writing has already served its purpose in my life and that maybe (and only in moments of temporary insanity do I really believe this) it is time to let it go.

I try not to admit those things even to myself so saying them here for everyone to see is hard for me but I feel better having done it. I feel like there has to be someone else out there that gets it and are just as tired as I am of pretending to be something that they are not and who understand where I am coming from. Isn’t it less pressure to just be yourself? As imperfect as you might be, even if you feel like everything is falling a part, be the best version of yourself that you can be. Let’s not fake it until we make it, let’s just make it by being real.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”