So I’m about to have another birthday on Thursday and I’ll be turning 41 and thinking about really crossing further into the forties has me thinking about whether or not I’m satisfied with the direction that my life is going. I mean of course I had plans when I was younger of what my forty year old self would be doing in life and where I would be in my career and on the ladder of success.
However, when I was younger I was naïve to the reality of adulthood and what having all of those things that I want would take in terms of effort and sheer willpower after getting repeatedly knocked down and having to pry myself off the ground to get back up and keep pushing forward. Honestly if you had asked me when I was younger if I thought I had the tenacity and strength to have to keep pushing through all of the obstacles that have been thrown at me I would have said no, I can’t do it, I’m just not that strong. I’m glad to say that I would have been wrong because you never truly know how strong you are until you have to be.
So what have I learned in these 41 years of living? I suppose I would say the biggest thing that I’ve learned about myself, and that I continue to learn as I move forward in my career goals, is that I have never lost my passion for what it is I know I am supposed to do with my life. Even though I’m not sure how I knew writing was my purpose back when I was just six years old (at six I wouldn’t have known anything about the use of the word purpose lol) I have never wavered from that dream. Sure I thought I would be where I desired to be by now but again, that was the naiveté of a child dreaming that just assumed if you’re talented and wanted it bad enough it would happen easily.
I know a lot of people who think writing is nothing special and that it’s an easy thing to do. I often get those that think I don’t do anything at all because I’m “just a writer” they say and that’s “not that hard to do” which is infuriating because this is not a career for the feint of heart. I have literally dedicated my entire life to this craft and it is who I am, not just what I do. At 41 I’m not on any New York Time’s Bestsellers list (as I hoped I would be at this point) and frankly I am just now in the process of re-releasing my first novel and a couple of poetry books this year but I have put in years of article writing and blogging here on this blog, creating a newsletter first, and then magazine, to make sure that I do my part to highlight other authors to the best of my ability, and now I even have a YouTube channel in which I talk about my writing life and that is not nothing.
A couple of years ago, in the mindset I was in then, I would have been sulking and further depressed about where I wasn’t in my life, only focused on what I haven’t been able to accomplish. Today, because I have been working on my spiritual journey, my mindset has drastically shifted to where I don’t see it quite that way anymore. I see all that I have been able to accomplish as me laying the groundwork for all of the victorious things that I know are to come. I have been getting prepared for my dreams to come to fruition and I think I needed that preparation.
Just because things don’t happen on the timetable that we want them to, doesn’t mean they won’t happen. In fact it may be better for them not to happen when we want them because I find that oftentimes when we think we are ready for things, more than likely we aren’t ready at all. If you haven’t gotten to where you want in life just yet, don’t let that get you down. Just think of it as you laying the groundwork for all that is to come and keep pushing, keep working, and you will get there. God wouldn’t give you the vision and the dream if He hadn’t prepared a way for you to have it when He’s ready for you to.
Until next time #BePatient #BePersistent #BeReady
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