Tag: negativity

The Company You Keep Could Be Helping You Sabotage Yourself

jcladyluv

Number 5 on my list yesterday was ‘Keeping people around you that are not going to give you a swift kick in the ass’ and a part of that is not surrounding yourself with people who constantly try to do everything they can to bring negativity to you.  It is always good when you can separate yourself from those that do not support your goals and that do not believe in you.  But how do you separate yourself when the people or person who is against you is your family, not just family members, but your own mother.  

My mother has never been supportive of my dream of being a writer and she has been very verbal about the fact that she thinks that my pursuing that dream is a huge waste of time.  She made her point again today that I am wasting my time with this writing ‘stuff’ as she referred to it.  

Years ago that would have bothered me.  That would have eaten away at me and seeped inside of my soul with her words eventually starting to be projected in my own voice.  That would have sent me into months and months of questioning my dreams and whether I could really make them happen.  I would spend months thinking to myself that if my own mother doesn’t believe in me, then who else will. 

Like I said, that would have been me years ago.  That would have been a form of me self-sabotaging myself by way of my mother’s negativity.  Now I know that I can not completely cut my mother off (well I could but she did give birth to me so that would be wrong) but I have learned to distance myself from her.  More importantly, when she starts to talk about how my goals and dreams don’t matter and that their not worth the time and effort I am putting into them, I have to learn how to cut her off (respectfully of course) and tell her that I can’t be around the negativity.  

I know that you can’t really tune out or walk away from every negative vibe that tries to come within your orbit, but you can’t make your dream a reality if you don’t at least try.  Negative energy just breeds more negative energy so if you allow it into your inner circle then you also allow it to influence your spirit.  So if you are keeping people around you that are only bringing negative energy to you then it is time to distance yourself from them.  Stop sabotaging yourself with the company you are keeping.  Until tomorrow…Remember that your kin is not always your kind! 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

Critics Are Everywhere

jcladyluv

“It doesn’t matter if a million people tell you what you can’t do, or if ten million tell you no. If you get one yes from God that’s all you need.”
~Tyler Perry 

There is negative energy everywhere.  People will try and tear others down simply because they are succeeding at something and they are envious.  There may be someone out there who doesn’t like the fact that someone else is hogging what they see as their spotlight.  There all critics in their own right and just like we can’t always rely on the negative word of a book or movie reviewer for the next book we will read or movie we will see, we can not rely on the critics who say that we will never become what we know we are destined to become.  

I got another Inspirational Corner message in my email from Tyler Perry today.  He shared with his fans a clip that was sent to him which, at first glance, looks like a barrage of negative comments hurled at him to discourage him.  But as you go on watching the clip, it phases out the negative comments and goes on to display and show all of the comments of encouragement for Tyler, both by his fans and the many actors and actresses he has worked with throughout the years.  

Just like that clip, Tyler Perry has managed to tune out all of the negative comments of people who just might not have gotten his vision, and focus in on the words of encouragement and empowerment for him.  There were so many people who told him no.  There were so many people who told him that there was just no place for him in the industry.  People told him that the world just wouldn’t buy what he was trying to sell.  He had been shut down so many times by so many negative critics but he never let that stop him.  Look at him now.  

My message today is to say that even the most successful people that you see today have been told no and have been told that they would never get to where they were trying to go.  They did it by letting the negative comments roll right off their back and putting their focus into the words of encouragement that helped fuel their desire.  They never gave up until they were right where they said they were going to be, at the top.  So to all of the future success stories out there that are climbing your way to the top, don’t let the critics slow down your rise.  Until tomorrow…Just press on and tune out anything that’s going to get in your way!    

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

Let Me Not Wallow Anymore

jcladyluv

“There is no advancement to him who stands trembling because he cannot see the end from the beginning.”

~E.J. Klemme 

I was thinking the other night, yet again, about how bad things are and how I can almost see that light at the end of the tunnel but I’m getting frustrated because I feel as if that light should be much closer by now.  I was thinking of how I just wish things, for once, could be going the way that I need for them to go.  What I was doing was wallowing, and it wasn’t the first time.  I was focusing so much on what isn’t going right that I wasn’t thinking about the things that are going right.

My best friend, Ms. L., hates it when I get so far down in the dumps that I can’t see any possible chance of something positive happening.  She doesn’t like to hear me speak of all of the things that I think I can’t do because of this, that, or the other.  She tells me that she doesn’t want to hear it and that she’s there for me but she can’t be around the negativity.  To tell you the truth she actually has had the nerve to hang up on me once and I was mad.  Those times when she would shut me down when I’m just simply trying to express what I’m feeling at the moment I could not understand how she couldn’t just be there for me and listen.  But more and more I realize that she was being a friend, a really good friend.  

Not only was she not going to let me tear myself down and make light of my goals or my potential, but she also wasn’t going to let me bring her down into my pit of negativity.  I can appreciate that now because I have a person that is in my orbit that constantly tries to find one way or another to bring me down to her level of negativity and tries even harder to keep me feeling that way.  I find myself constantly having to cut her off in the midst of her trying to make me commiserate in her own misery and negative feelings just so I can maintain my optimism that I find myself having to work at maintaining on a daily basis.  

Sometimes I get stuck feeling a certain way, I get in a funk and too many times I allow myself to stay in that funk for far too long but it is having a friend like Ms. L. that can give me a good shaking (not physically of course) to make me see that wallowing is not going to change anything, but rather allow things to continue on being the same.  Changing one’s circumstances can only happen once you stop questioning why me, and why did this or that happen, and actually do something about the situation that you don’t want to be in anymore.  It’s good to have a friend that will risk hurting your feelings and upsetting you in order to save you from yourself.  I wouldn’t have it any other way.  Until next time…Stop wallowing in the things you can’t change and get out there and make the changes that you have the power to make!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

No More Negative Nancy’s

jcladyluv

“Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power.”

~Shirley MacLaine 

In life you tend to get back what you give out.  At least that is what most people will say about how a person should perceive things.  I was watching the news this morning and they have these motivational minutes where the guy will give a tip for success for the day.  Today’s tip, in so many words, was that in order to have and attract success in your life that you have to wipe out the negativity surrounding you and get rid of those thoughts of what you can’t do and what you don’t have and just focus on what you can do and what you do have.  

This ties into getting back what you give out because I suppose if all you hear is people around you telling you that you can’t do something, or that what you want to happen for yourself can’t happen, you start to believe it then you are putting out that negative energy.  In turn all you are going to get back is negative results.  This struck a nerve with me because it seems that the more positive I try to be about my circumstances, and about my dreams and what I want out of life, the more I get negative backlash from other people, one of whom happens to be my mother, who I should get the most support from.  

When people say that you have to cut out the negativity from your life in order to really make your way towards success you never want that to include family.  I am sadly realizing, or should I say accepting, that my mother is one of those people.  When I make the mistake of sharing my ambitions with her she never fails to tell me that she thinks my dreams are impossible and that I am not living in reality.  But if I only focus on what isn’t going right and what I have not managed to accomplish just yet then I would never move forward and enjoy all that I do have and the things that I have managed to achieve.  

It’s true that lately everything has not fallen in line the way that I wanted them to, especially within this last year.  However, no matter what, I will always keep pushing through and propelling myself towards accomplishing what it is I want.  A person’s dreams are not just going to magically come true overnight but complaining about the bumps along the road is not going to change things one way or the other, so why waste that time that could be better spent.  

There is always going to be that one person around you that will make sure to run down the list of the things that you can’t get done and rub in your face what you don’t have.  But instead of listening to them you have to ask yourself why it is that they feel the need to tear you down and what is it that they don’t have that they are trying so hard to take away from you.  Until the next time…try to enjoy the things that you have accomplished and keep building on those accomplishments!  

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

Writing in the Reality of the Moment

jcladyluv

“Reality isn’t the way you wish things to be, nor the way they appear to be, but the way they actually are.”

~Robert J. Ringer

I am a writer of many things.  Fiction of all types, poetry, articles that motivate and uplift, and articles that are meant to inform.  No one who writes, unless they particularly write nothing but children’s fairytales, is going to always produce things that are considered motivating and uplifting.  Some things that people write are just real.  It comes from a place of reality and living in the present moment and in the knowledge of knowing that, as much as we would like it to be true, every moment of people’s lives is not going to always be happy and uplifting and completely void of negative obstacles.  That’s just not the reality of things.  

So when someone tells me that an article that I wrote to be informative and educate people, who may or may not know certain aspects of a health related disease, is stemming from a place of darkness and negativity it makes me want to literally curse them out and throw something, preferably at them.  This particular person would like me to write of nothing but motivating and uplifting things and speak of absolutely nothing that might be negative.  That’s not real for me.  

For one I don’t consider the article that I wrote, “The Rise of Lung Cancer in Non-smoking women”, to be dark and negative.  It simply is meant to inform people on things they may not even know concerning the disease.  I was informed just by researching the subject.  Secondly, I don’t feel like I have to be placed in this box as a writer of only writing and producing motivational articles.  I like to write a little bit of everything but most importantly I like to keep whatever I write (except for fiction) very real. 

The funny thing to me is that someone making that type of comment to me appeared and came off as completely negative.  As if they were someone just trying to get me riled up and trying to plant seeds of doubt or self consciousness in my mind.  It’s almost as if they somehow thought that this would make me just all of a sudden change my style of writing and the things that I put out there for the world to see.  

Truthfully it did make me angry but it didn’t deter me from writing my way and on my terms.  I write from the heart, whatever way I happen to feel, whatever information I want to convey or educate people with.  While I do love when people like what it is that I have written, I write for me first and for the world second.  Now maybe that’s wrong in some people’s eyes but if I wrote to try and please everyone else then I may possibly be the one who is not pleased with what I am writing and then I am no longer writing for the sheer love of writing.  

My words to the world of writers today is to always stay true to who you are in your writing.  Everyone is not going to like what you have to say but the important thing is that you say it, however you want to say it.  Write for the moment you are living in and from the place you are coming from.  Don’t ever let anyone else dictate what your voice as a writer should be. 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm
http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://jayceedurant.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://freemynd.wordpress.com/

http://spokenlikeaqueen.blogspot.com/ 

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

www.authorsden.com/jimmettacarpenter