What’s Wrong With Seeing the Glass as Half Full?

Glass half full

I have been called unrealistic at times. I have been called the consummate optimist. I go through things just like anyone else. I have my own personal struggles and things that seem to be working against me. I won’t lie and say that my faith doesn’t get shaken when the whole world seems to be caving in on me and yes on occasion I have fallen into depression because things got too hard for me to really deal with. However, overall, I am a person who sees that glass half full rather then choose to see the glass half empty.

But when there are people in your life who are hell bent on seeing the despair in every single situation what do you do about that? Of course the short and easy answer would be to cut them out of your lives or keep the contact with that person limited. But it’s not so easy when that person is in your family or worse, if that person is your parent. I will never understand how people in your own family can seemingly work against everything that you are trying to accomplish and I have seen people whose families are a true piece of work. A friend of mine once told me some words of advice they received from their pastor that your kin is not always your kind.

Often times the biggest obstacles that we have when we are trying to reach our goals are the very people that we are surrounded by and when it is your family it is not always so easy to separate yourself from them. I believe that in order to be successful you are eventually going to have to remove any toxic people from your life that are not for you and what you are trying to do but the process of removal is extremely difficult when it is family, particularly your parent.

My struggles are not few and they’re not even far between but I choose to see them (most days anyway) as building blocks and stepping stones towards the brightest future that’s possible for me, brighter than even I could ever imagine. Anyone who would rather see my struggles as the beginning of a downward spiral that I am not going to be able to come back from, well they can just keep their distance from me. I don’t need that kind of negative thinking to corrupt me. I battle with my own negative thoughts that pop in my mind from time to time and I don’t need to add anyone else’s.

Where is the harm in me seeing the bright side of things? Why is it that because I don’t view every setback as a complete and total failure that I am suddenly not in touch with reality. One way or the other you have to go after your dreams, even when everything seems like it’s all going down the drain. Even if that means that you can’t include the people closest to you in on that journey. If they are not for you then they are against you. There is no in between. So if you are a glass half full type of person, you are not alone. Take care and stay optimistic!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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That Inner Voice Is Telling Me Something Different

Inner voice

I stumbled upon a Joel Osteen sermon the other day and he talked about listening to that little voice or that little feeling inside us that is guiding us to what we should be doing. You know that voice. The voice that tells you when something isn’t right or the one that tells you when you should be leery of someone or a certain situation. Sometimes we ignore that voice because we think we’re just being paranoid or we just don’t want to listen to is. Well often times we don’t even realize that that little voice we hear or that feeling of uneasiness that we get that can’t be explained is God guiding us to where he wants us to go.

When I watched this message it came a day or two after a friend of mine advising me that I should basically go against what I know to be right for me so that I can be comfortable for the moment and not be in so much struggle. It came from a place of love (I hope) and not wanting to see me struggle but I keep getting this subtle feeling that that advice just isn’t what is best for me.

Yes it would make things much easier right now. It would give me some solid footing while I still tackled my end goal but in all honestly I think that comfortableness that I would then settle myself into would eventually distract me from my end game. I would get comfortable with being in that ease and that steadiness and then little by little my end goal would get further and further away. It wouldn’t disappear because it is my purpose in this world but it would become faint and a bit of a whisper.

I know myself and while I hate to struggle and would love to get to that place where I can see where all my efforts have gone to, where I can see the fruits of my labor, I need the discomfort to push me the end goal. If I were comfortable in some day to day my dreams would be pushed to the side. I know that they would because it has happened before. It was almost to the point where I never even worked on my dream because I was just trying to stay in that place of being comfortable. I can’t do that again. If I did I am almost positive that my dreams would die and I refuse to let that happen.

That little voice, that little feeling, is what is telling me that the answer to my problems is not to take the easy route, but to tough it out and persevere because the reward for my perseverance is coming. Too many times I have ignored that voice, and the consequences were great. I’m not going to ignore that voice this time. I’m toughing it out and I’m going all in. What has your inner voice been telling you? Are you listening?

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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There Are Some Habits That Need to Be Broken

Some habits meant to break

This morning I woke up before my alarm clock even went off. I woke up refreshed and feeling like I had to get busy writing. Of course my morning routine must first require me to get my daughter dressed and ready for school and eating a good breakfast so those immediate desires to write had to be held off for a little while. Now yesterday I posted about 5 things that I needed to work on doing in order to make myself a better writer and I really think that acknowledging those things and putting a plan in motion to work on those things made a big difference.

Yesterday was the most productive day I have had in my writing in a very long time and it felt good. Of course another thing that wasn’t on the list but that I noted needed to be changed was my sleeping habits. I went to bed before midnight last night (which if you know me, you know is damn near a miracle) and that was really early for me. Just in that one day of going to bed at a decent hour (when I actually got tired instead of pushing past my sleepiness and working anyway) I was refreshed and woke up before a clock told me it was time to get up. I don’t feel tired (yet) and I feel energized.

Sometimes we try to resist change thinking that our old patterns will always work for us. My late night hours and all-nighters might have been what I needed to do at one point in time, a long time ago, and they may not have seemed harmful then but I was doing more harm than good trying to maintain those old habits. It is true that old habits do die hard but in order to make progress sometimes they do need to die. I am steadily working on changing some of those habits that just weren’t working for me anymore and I am intrigued to see what making those changes will do to enhance my creativity and my writing career.

Take some time today and evaluate what habits you are holding onto that you may possibly need to break. Are you holding back your own progress by holding onto those habits that you think are still working for you? Make sure that you are forming new habits to match the new levels that you are reaching in your life and in your career. Take care and don’t get stuck on those old habits!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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Springing Into Overdrive

Spring into overdrive

While Spring is the time of year where everyone seems to have that sudden bursts of creative energy it seems to be that time of year when I start to reflect on what I haven’t gotten done yet. I know, it seems like a negative thing, it really does. However, if you think about it, it could be the swift kick in the pants that some of us procrastinators (at least me anyway) need to get into higher gear.

I have a lot of things to carry out this year and because I set unbelievably high goals for myself on a yearly basis that even the most brilliant and best-selling novelists might not be able to get achieved in one year, I am realistic enough to know that every single item on that list will most likely not be carried out. However, I do know that over half of the things are able to be completed if I just stop my procrastinating ways and do what I know needs to be done.

What needs to be done is a lot less sleep and a lot of early rising mornings. This is hard for me to fathom because I barely sleep as it is but I remember the days when I used to pull all-nighters and slept even less than I do now and stuff got done then. But I have come to the realization, as May approaches and almost half the year has flown by, that if I don’t start sleeping a lot less in order to work a lot more than I might not even get half the things on my list accomplished. I can’t accept that.

So springing into action is what I will be focusing on and getting into overdrive. Just hope I don’t burn myself out in the process. But all sacrifices will be worth it in the end, right? Well I hope that your creativity has sprung into high gear and that you are getting all that you need to get done. If not, then let’s get moving, the year is only going to move faster from here on out. So stay driven and keep that butt in the chair, writing!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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I Was This Close To Just Giving Up

Was going to give up 2

I want to give up. I want to just throw my hands up as I am knocked down by life yet again and admit that I’m just plain tired and that I don’t have any fight left in me anymore. I want to just succumb to being average and stop trying to fulfill this extraordinary shit that I thought was my damn purpose in this world. I want to just stop having faith in the future that I can’t see ahead of me because how do I even know that any of that shit is going to happen anyway, just because I believe that is what is meant for me. I want to just say my mother was right and I am never going to amount to anything. I want to just say the hell with everything because I just can’t keep trying anymore and keep continually being disappointed every time I think everything is about to turn the corner and it doesn’t.

But I was reminded by a friend yesterday (we’ll just call him Mr. J) that I can’t think that way. I can’t have a defeatist mind set. I have to just accept what has happened, or the changes that are occurring, especially the changes that aren’t good, determine the solution, and then fix the problem the best way that I can, the best way that I know how. He reminded me that you can’t just let life knock you down and then lay there and not get back up. If I were to do that, then the devil wins and he is smiling because he knows that he overpowered my will to serve out my purpose.

The devil has been extremely busy with me these past few weeks, hell months, and I’ve been told that when the devil is really busy with you, that not only means that you are doing something right but that you have a hell of a victory coming your way. If that is in fact true then my victory is going to be unbelievably sweet. It’s hard when you fall to not just want to stay down because getting back up is hard, particularly when you keep getting knocked back down before you can even catch your breath and get all the way back up.

I couldn’t have wrote this post yesterday because I felt completely defeated and everything in the first paragraph of this post was what I was feeling and what I was going to accept. However I reminded myself this morning that I am not average, nor am I meant to live anything but an extraordinary life. I am not a quitter, I am a fighter by nature and I could never look at myself in the mirror if I didn’t give this absolutely everything that I’ve got and nothing less. My mother is most certainly not right about me because I will amount to everything that God has predestined for me. And I may not have complete and total faith in mankind and the man-made obstacles that are going to fall in my path but I do have absolute faith in God and his power to remove those obstacles when he sees fit.

I would say that I picked a profession that lends nothing but struggle and rejection (at least in the beginning) to it but it was what I truly believe I was placed on this earth to do. It picked me, or should I say God picked it for me. I just had an opportunity that I felt would’ve been changed a lot of things for me, for the better, pretty much snatched away from me. It was made even worse by the fact that the friend who came to me with the project (admittedly because she knew it could possibly be a game changer for me) didn’t fight for me to stay on the project, as I felt she should have. Everyone wants to say that perhaps that was God’s way of saying that opportunity wasn’t meant for me and I’m still very far off from believing that this opportunity wasn’t meant for me but I will say that I am not going to let this new fall keep me down. It is their loss, not mine.

So if you too have been thinking about giving up this week, or this month, I am here to say I understand exactly how you feel. I also know that if you do, you will never forgive yourself and you will always be left with this feeling of what if. The wondering will end up crippling you because you will forever live in the past trying to guess what would’ve happened if you had just hung in there a little longer. Just don’t quit. Don’t give up. Keep fighting because it won’t always be this hard (I have to believe that) and on the day when everything starts to fall in place you will look back on this time period where you had the crazy notion to give up and be thankful that you didn’t. So just hang in there, the victory is coming!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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Don’t Put a Ceiling Where No Roof Should Be

no ceiling 2

I was told once (okay well more than once) that I was inspiring. I was told that my words inspired others. I suppose if I weren’t a person who had become accustomed to believing that everything someone says to me is usually a lie, I might believe them. Or at least maybe it wouldn’t have taken me so long to believe them. I got to thinking this morning, if so many people that society considers ordinary because their names are not up on billboards somewhere (yet) can inspire me and get me motivated, then why isn’t it possible that lil ole ordinary me can do the same for someone else.

It makes me more mindful of the work that I am doing, of the words that I am saying and of the persistence that I am putting into getting my goals accomplished because if I can inspire someone, anyone else, to believe in their dreams and to live by their own standards and not the standards placed on them by society, then I will be making great strides in serving the purpose that God put me here on this earth for.

I grew up being told by the one person who was supposed to always believe in me, that I was never going to be able to accomplish anything, that I was never going to reach my destiny because society was never going to let me, and because I wasn’t good enough. I had to somehow keep myself motivated and inspired, to even have the courage to go after my dreams. It’s a lot harder when you don’t have anyone inspiring you or at the very least, cheering you on. So I am glad if there is anybody that I can be an inspiration to and I embrace that responsibility with open arms.

So for any of you out there who is thinking that what they are doing doesn’t matter to anyone and that no one is watching or paying attention. Trust that there is someone that is being inspired by what you are doing, by the persistence that you are showing, by the dream that you are building up. It might even be someone like me. Never underestimate yourself, or the power of your vision, or the effect that you may be having on others. I have been underestimating myself for far too long and it is time that I stop doing that. It’s time that you stop doing it too. Stay inspired and stop putting a ceiling where no roof should be!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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Leaders Must First Learn To Follow

To lead you must first follow 2

I know that you’ve heard the saying “Be a leader, and not a follower” a lot, probably more often than you even care to count. This saying is particularly used towards those who are aspiring to run their own businesses and striving for successes of great measure. I always believed in that saying, for the most part and have always tried to steer clear from ever being put in the category of being a follower. However, I recently have come to a realization that you can’t really be a true leader if you have never known what it is to follow.

I mean following is essentially being a team player. Learning how to work within a setting where it is not just your opinion that matters and things don’t just rely on what you say but on what others say or do as well. After all, once you reach your leadership status, you are asking others that are working for you to be that team player right, and follow you on your journey to help build your dream and your legacy up. Is it not only fair that you, the leader, would have some knowledge of what it is like to be a part of a team, to work with others to form a well working collaboration, to in essence, follow.

How can you blindly ask people to do something for you that you have never at one time had to do for anyone else? You can’t. In all actuality, unless someone was just born into wealth and an already built legacy, you have to follow for quite some time before you ever get to lead anyone. So where did this saying come from? Where did people get the idea that following at some point in your life, is a bad thing? Yes you have people who are natural born leaders but they too must first be followers before they can learn how to lead anyone.

I think that sometimes people get hung up on this saying and pass up on many opportunities that would allow growth within themselves because they don’t want to be labeled as a follower. I myself have done that. Passed on something that would mean I am helping someone else build up their dream but yet taking away from working on building up my own. Not even realizing at the time that those whose dreams that I help to build can then show me the way to in turn build up my own. I may have not seen certain situations for the opportunities that they truly were, all because I didn’t want anyone to ever see me as a follower and not the leader I know I was destined to be.

But see the good thing about getting older and making certain mistakes is that you also get wiser and learn how to work smarter. One of the bigger lessons that I am learning now is that in order to lead you must first learn how to follow. It is the lessons that you learn while following others that you can then take into your journey of leadership. So remember that before you turn your back on opportunities that require you to follow all because you don’t like that label. All leaders were once followers. Stay focused and pay attention!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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Productivity Doesn’t Always Come Easy

Productivity is not easy

Last week was just not a very productive week for me. Well maybe I should say that in terms of actual writing being done, it was not a week of progress. I actually managed to read quite a bit more than I normally get to do but that was mainly because I felt so guilty about not being able to get anything done, writing wise. But the question is should I feel guilty?

Every week is not going to be perfect for a writer. We don’t always know the words we want to say and we aren’t always able to just sit down in front of a computer and just start writing non-stop until the work is done. We have really good weeks where we get all the work we set out to do and more, we have those weeks where we get just what we needed done but nothing more.

And then there are those weeks where nothing (seemingly) gets accomplished and we are sitting there banging our heads against a wall trying to figure out why nothing is coming to mind and your fingers just don’t want to more across the keys of the keyboard. Those are those moments when you have to remind yourself that your mind sometimes needs a break too.

We are not machines, no matter what profession, but particularly writers. It is hard to take mental breaks when so much of what you do lives inside your head. You have characters screaming at you all the time (lol) and ideas just popping in your mind at a moment’s notice and sometimes your mind just needs a break. So I guess last week was my mental vacation. I caught up on some reading and I even caught up on some TV shows.

However, this week, I am ready to get back to the business of writing and working on these projects and finishing up others. Hope your week is starting off right and that you’re ready to get your hustle on this week. Stay focused and be blessed!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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To the Beat of My Own Drum

To the beat of my own drum

Back in High School I had so many things going on at home outside of school that made me feel unworthy that I really didn’t need the extra negativity at school. I was never the most popular person in school. For some reason or another I was always disliked by those who others would consider the ones to follow. You know those in crowd clicks, if they didn’t like you then pretty much no one else did. But I was fine with my small circle of friends because they were there when everything at home was crazy. To be honest I cared far too much what others thought of me back then.

I can’t say that I don’t still, to some small (and I mean very small) degree care what certain people think of me but for the most part, now I just don’t give a damn. I have learned in trying to please everyone at the same time that you just can’t and you end up being displeased with yourself. If people are going to choose not to like you then they will find ANY reason not to. In thinking about where I am trying to get to in life, the most successful people are not necessarily the most liked people. They typically stand for something that others may or may not understand.

I feel sometimes like I can’t really win because if I don’t state where I stand on something then I am being anti-social and not giving enough input but when I give input and it’s not going along with what is being said across the board or just not what others want to hear then I am being difficult and bringing negativity. It can never just be that I have a voice of my own that just doesn’t agree with yours. It can never just be that my opinion is respected and left at that. But if I stopped to care, or broke down over, every single person that found fault in me for one reason or another, then I would never make it down this path towards my goals that I am on.

Everyone is not going to agree with you, like you, love you, or even respect you. But what matters is how you feel about yourself and how you represent yourself to others. I’m a person that’s not going to cave just because you want me to. If I feel a certain way then that’s just how I feel and if that in someone else’s eyes makes me problematic or negative then I can’t change the opinion that they may have. I for one think that it means that I don’t waver on what I stand for, I don’t bend to everyone’s will, and I most certainly don’t follow with the rest of the crowd.

I am my own person, I have my own voice, and because of that I will get to my destination because I won’t be caught up with trying to please the general public. You just can’t please everyone. But it’s a good thing that the only thing that I am here for is to serve the purpose that God has for me and to reach the destination that he has already pre-destined for me. I’m going to get to where I am going and those who are my true supporters, who truly are for me and not against me, will still be there while everyone else falls by the waste-side. So today I hope you are not neglecting you own voice to satisfy others and I hope that you don’t forget just how important your voice is, even if it does stand out from everyone else’s. Stay blessed and stay true to what you have to say!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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Showing Up Can Be the Difference from Standing Still and Moving Forward

show up

The most important thing you can do as a writer, as an artist, or just as an entrepreneur in general is show up. Speaking from the standpoint of a writer who has made this her business, just sitting down in preparation to write something or promote what it is you are working on is showing up and is in some way (even if it’s in baby steps) moving your business and career forward.

I’m hard on myself sometimes, for essentially no reason, because I may sit down and the words may not even come for me to put together a blog post (as in yesterday) and I may not write (or type) one single word on the current project I may be working on but completely look over the fact that I did some social media promotion (as much as I can do anyway) or that I read my book or a writing magazine to fuel my creativity. I somehow discount those things when I should be celebrating those things for what they are which is progress.

Progress may not happen all at once like we so often want it to but typically the things that we want most, that matter the most, are not going to be easy to come by and they most certainly are not going to come all at once. Progress, in any form, no matter how little, should be acknowledged. I wrote a post a while ago about the fact that I felt like I was slacking in my reading and as most of you writers know, reading is a huge part of writing. I felt like I wasn’t measuring up in that department and I wasn’t being fueled creatively in that area.

Since then I have made time, in fact, I have gone so far as to include reading on my to do list for the day because I realized that if I didn’t put it on my list I might never get to it. I’ve not only been reading my fiction book that I am nearing the end of but I even have been reading some things on my craft. Just that little bit of progress has made me open up a little more in my creativity and I’m not going to discount that because it wasn’t actual writing that was being done.

I say all of this to say, celebrate the progress that you make in your daily endeavors and not just the big moments but the little ones as well. Don’t count out the baby steps that you are making. They may feel like you’ve only moved an inch closer to your goals, but keep in mind that it was an inch of ground that you hadn’t covered the day before. So stay persistent and keep making progress. You will get there and it may be in slower fashion than you would like it to be but if you remember, slow and steady wins the race. Be blessed and keep moving forward!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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