Everybody Does Not Need To Know Your Status

Okay for anyone who knows me, either personally or through this blog, you know that I am not a huge fan of social media and the overuse of technology.  As a writer it has become necessary for me to learn how to adapt to using social media and truthfully I still have some work to do in that department as far as using it effectively.  Now I use facebook and twitter and other forms of social media to share my writing and things about me as a writer, and to network with other writers or like minded business people.  

I know that there are others who use social media for those purposes as well but that take it to a whole other level by displaying every, little, single, detail of their personal life on the internet.  I still do not understand this, and I don’t think that I ever will.  There is no logical reason that everyone in the whole entire world (and that’s what the internet includes) needs to know what you had to eat for a particular meal, or how bad (or good) your relationship is going on any given day of the week.  

There is no reason why people (possibly future or present employers) need to see the enormous amount of partying that you may have done over the weekend or the half nudity that you chose to display (because you thought it was cute and your friends were not honest enough to tell you otherwise).  I don’t think that facebook was ever intended for the unfolding of one’s every move on the internet for all to bear witness to.  

In fact Mark Zuckerberg originally created facebook so that the college students attending Harvard could be aware of the activities going on within the campus.  If you go to his facebook page he does not even take facebook to the ridiculous extremes that everyone else has chosen to take it to.  Somewhere between when social networking sites were developed up until now people seem to have lost sight of the whole point which was to actually network.  

Networking does not include (last time I checked) sharing what meal you had for lunch (unless it is a meal that you had at some type of business event or conference), or that you saw someone walking around with a very unflattering outfit on that you couldn’t help but judge them for, or that you let the world see you half-naked pouring countless alcoholic beverages down your throat.  It certainly does not mean that everyone in the world needs to know who you are dating and whether your relationship with them is in a good or bad place.  That is not networking.  That is simply sharing too much unnecessary personal information.  

It amazes me how people are so surprised that someone (sometimes their employers) they never told anything to somehow ended up knowing intimate details of their lives.  It’s because you choose to air your dirty (or clean) laundry out for all to see.  It’s pretty simple, if you don’t show it or tell it all on facebook or twitter or whatever form of social media you are using at the moment, then everyone (that you might not want to be) won’t be all in your personal life.  

Let’s try and remember what networking truly means (but just in case any of you out there might have forgotten it is centered below) and maybe we could actually avoid abusing and misusing the social media networking sites.    

Definition of NETWORKING

net·work·ing (noun) 

‘The exchange of information or services among individuals, groups, or institutions; specifically : the cultivation of productive relationships for employment or business.’ 

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

My Up and Down Marriage to Writing

“Marriage is a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose.” 

~Beverley Nichols

Ms. L. and I always joke about writing and our laptops being our husbands.  It seems like more of a reality as time goes on and as I pour more of myself into it.  If I were truly married to my writing, then I think that our marriage might be in trouble and standing on very shaky ground right now.  Marriage of any kind needs love constantly poured into it, attention consistently given to it, passion infused all through it, and it needs to be nurtured through all of its years of commitment and union.  

As I think about my writing in those terms, I realize that I haven’t been a good wife to it lately.  At times I have neglected my writing and have been completely lazy when it comes to my talent.  I haven’t spent enough time with my craft and I have let way too many other personal dilemmas stand in the way of me taking my writing career to the next level (or stage of our relationship).  I haven’t nurtured my gift for expressing myself through my words as I know that I can and at times I have appeared to have completely given up on the relationship altogether.  But I haven’t given up.  

My writing may be the only constant relationship I have had since I developed a love for it at the age of ten.  It has been by my side and it has never abandoned me (at least not for extremely large amounts of time), nor has it judged me.  It has allowed me to use it as my vessel to the rest of the world and lately I have taken advantage that it will always be around for me.  I have not showed it just how much I truly treasure it and how passionate I still feel about it and I am sorry for that.          

I know that if I don’t stop neglecting my writing and my purpose altogether, then it will soon leave me.  It gives me warnings every time I come down with writer’s block but I’m sure that it feels that it hasn’t gotten through to me.  I know that there are times when it just weeps at the fact that I appear to have abandoned it for the fear (the invisible third party in our relationship) that I will never do it justice.  Well writing, I want you to know that you have gotten through to me.  I am ready to recommit myself to you from this day forward.  

I am turning my back on the fear that has interfered with us and plagued us for quite some time now.  I have finally realized that if I don’t give you the love and time that you need, you can’t give me the fulfillment that I need in return.  I know that I have to nurture you and take time to enhance our relationship so that it only gets better and more purposeful as the years go on.  

I plan to spend as many seconds and minutes of the day with you that I can on a daily basis no matter how impossible it may seem to make it happen.  I thank you for hanging in there and giving me continuous chances to get our relationship back on the right track.  From now until forever I will make sure to honor you and be true to you so that we can prosper in this life together.  

I love Writing and I’m just thankful that Writing still loves me right back. 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

I Guess I’m All Out of Sick Days Now

Oh how I have missed my blog!  I know I haven’t posted since last week and it was completely unintentional.  I came down with a really bad cold at the end of last week and I just wasn’t able to produce anything that I felt was worthy of being read and then my daughter had a virus over the weekend, which I in turn was inflicted with on Monday and Tuesday.  

Needless to say, I have had more than enough time to realize just how important it is to have back up posts and plans of what to have ready for your blog in case of emergencies or necessary sick days that may need to be taken.  In the regular work world where you go to an office from 9 to 5 Monday through Friday you get a set amount of sick days (that’s not to be confused with vacation days) and typically it’s about five.  Well it’s been about that many days for me (I don’t count Sunday because I don’t blog on Sundays anyway) so I suppose that means I have completely used up my sick days for the year.  

I guess that just means I really don’t have any more excuses but to buckle down and cast that self doubt I have about myself and my abilities out of my mind and do what I know needs to be done as far as my writing career.  I have a lot of plans and things to work on and put in motion before this month is over and there is literally no time to waste anymore.    

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

Seeing Yourself Through Someone Else’s Eyes

“Sometimes you can’t see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.”

~Ellen DeGeneres 

It is really nice when you have someone that believes in you enough for the both of you.  I discovered that I had someone else in my corner today, someone that’s always been in my corner but I guess I just didn’t really see it.  My friend (we’ll just call him Mr. C.) was very motivating for me today.  He spoke about me and my dreams the way that I had expressed them to him and made me reenergized about them again.  I was starting to believe that it was just too late for me to take my brand and my name and become the success that I had always dreamed of being.  Today when I saw myself through his eyes, the way he said he saw things, I felt like I had already accomplished so much.  

He reminded me of all of the plans that I had laid out to him around the time that we first met and pinpointed all of the goals that I had actually managed to accomplish thus far.  I don’t really know why I hadn’t realized that I am not exactly at the starting point, but rather somewhere ahead of the halfway point.  I know that Ms. L. is going to read this and say ‘I told you all of that stuff already’ and it’s not that I didn’t hear her but hearing it from someone who I didn’t realize was paying attention somehow has a different affect.  I knew that Mr. C. had confidence in me and that he thought I was capable of many things, but I never saw just how fiercely he believed in me.  

It’s always interesting to see yourself through someone else’s eyes because a lot of the times you find that you are only seeing what hasn’t been done when they are looking at the bigger picture.  They are looking at what your goals were to begin with, and what strides you have already made towards those goals, and they see the potential of you finishing those goals.  I don’t know why it sometimes seems so hard for me to look at myself and my life the way that others seem to see it but I am starting to get the message now. 

If I keep stopping at every bench mark on my roadmap of success and picking apart everything that I had already done and diminishing it into being nothing then that’s what it will amount to, nothing.  Holding up someone else’s mirror to your life is very revealing and meaningful because you can’t always see what someone else sees.  Sometimes it takes the vision of someone else to make clear to you that you are on the right path.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

A Moment to Pray

I am still not feeling much like writing (or doing much of anything else) lately.  I thought that I might be coming out of my funk this morning when I woke up but somewhere throughout the course of the day that same mood crept back in.  I’m not going to lie, I gave into it today.  But I really am trying here to pull myself out of whatever this feeling is that suddenly came over me.  So in an effort to try and re-motivate myself I have been trying to read uplifting and motivating things and I came upon a book that I was given a few years ago called ‘Dear God, It’s Me and It’s Urgent: Prayers for every season of a woman’s life’ by Marion Stroud.  I look through it from time to time and some days it helps.  Tonight I was looking through it and came across this one prayer that I just wanted to share a part of.  

Thank you, Lord, that you provide this belt of truth.

Please help me to discern the half truths and the lies hurled at me by the enemy.

And when they scream for entry at the doorway of my mind,

Help me to refuse, both to receive them or believe them.

Thank you for the breastplate that protects my heart and my emotions.

Keeping me from being wounded by the jibes of others,

Or being bound by the fear of the reactions of those

Whose good opinion is so important to me.

Banish compromise please Lord,

Enabling me to do what’s right-consistently.

And as I wear these running shoes of the readiness to share your love,

Keep me from being sidetracked, Lord,

or from avoiding the stony paths.

Help me to be ready to go wherever you may send me,

and prepared to set out at a moment’s notice.     

The prayer goes on for another page or so but I just wanted to share the part that struck me the most.  There was also a scripture in the book that accompanied the prayer. 

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.  Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.

– Ephesians 6:10-11, NIV 

I just wanted to share this with all of you and I hope that these words help someone else beside me today.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

Control Issues

I haven’t really been feeling myself lately and it’s started to affect my writing but I suppose the truth is that it’s only been able to affect my writing because I have subconsciously allowed it too.  I got a good lecture from Ms. L. today about how I can not allow myself to get so depressed over the things that I can’t control that it takes away my power to do what it is I can control.  So I have to somehow drag myself out of this funk that I seem to be in and pour my energy into doing what I know I’m supposed to be doing right now.  I can’t control the things that are continuing to go wrong in my life but my writing career is something that I can control (at least the aspects of it that don’t involve investing money right now) so I have to direct my focus on that.  I know what I need to do now I just have to buckle down and do it.  

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

Revisiting an Old Love

When I was younger and started writing all I wrote was poetry.  I fell in love with what poetry did for me.  It allowed me to say everything that I needed to say and express all of the pain that I felt without having to say anything to anyone in particular.  I filled up reams and reams of paper with my thoughts and my feelings that I either felt could not be shared with anyone else, or no one cared enough to listen.  For years, I suppose until I left a sufficient amount of emotions on the pages that I filled up, that was all that I wrote.  Then I found and fell in love with telling a story in novel form and I set out to be a novelist.  

In the last couple of days, as I’ve been sorting through some feelings that I don’t even really understand right now, I have somehow found poetry again.  Or maybe it would be more accurate to say that poetry has found me again.  Now I haven’t actually formulated a whole entire poem yet but I can hear it in my head.  The different lines from several different soon to be written poems continue to repeat themselves in my head over and over again but they haven’t decided to come together just yet.  But I haven’t felt the vibe to write poetry in a very long time and it feels like it might be coming back to me.  What’s funny is that I didn’t even realize that I had missed it. 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

Good Deeds Make For Even Greater Rewards

“Real generosity is doing something nice for someone who will never find out.” 

~Frank A. Clark 

So I finally got around to going to the movies to see Tyler Perry’s Good Deeds today (okay I wanted to see it when it opened but it was not financially possible).  It was hands down the BEST Tyler Perry movie he has made thus far, and that is coming from someone who is a die hard fan of any and all things Tyler Perry.  I’m not going to go into detail about the movie because I don’t want to give anything away to anyone who hasn’t seen it yet but I really took a lot away from this movie and I believe that everyone who sees it will be moved by it as well.  

Tyler Perry’s character did some really good things for the single mother in the movie (played by Thandie Newton) and you really just don’t see that kind of generosity and pure goodness in the world these days.  But there are people out there like that; people who just give from their heart and don’t expect anything in return.  Tyler Perry is one of those people along with many other celebrities and even those who are not wealthy that give their own money to things like the Haiti Relief efforts, or for the rebuilding of Hurricane Katrina, and for many other social issues that you never even hear about because they’re not doing it for notoriety and for accolades, simply for the love of giving to others in need because they have it to give.  

I didn’t really realize until Tyler Perry came along and shared his story of his humble beginnings that his success got bigger and bigger as he continued to do his many good deeds without even telling anyone he was doing them.  In the movieTyler’s character gave the gift of stability and security to this single mother, not just for her child but for her as well.  However, the reward that he got was in a sense freedom from all of the things people expected of him and the feeling of what happiness is.  

There is a saying that I hear often when someone does something good for someone and somehow gets screwed over in the process.  It’s ‘No good deed goes unpunished’ and for a long time I really believed that to be true.  In watching this movie I realized that those good deeds were not true and done from a place of pure kindness.  They were done in order for something to be received.  True good deeds come with the greatest rewards because they are something that you get more out of then what you put in.  They are something in which you don’t expect to get anything in return.  I wish there were more people in the world like Tyler Perry’s character, Wesley Deeds.  It’s nice to think that there are people who still do good things for people just for the sake of doing a good deed.        

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

With an Unfocused Mind I Still Showed Up

“Eighty percent of success is showing up.”

~Woody Allen 

Today I woke up with a lot of things on my mind (more than normal) so I’ve been a little stuck today and I just couldn’t seem to concentrate on anything.  But even though I my mind was too jumbled up to think straight today I knew that I wouldn’t be satisfied with going to bed without writing something.  So here I am, unfocused thoughts and all, showing up to the page (or computer if you will) to essentially check in with the world and say that I will have something more meaningful (hopefully) to share tomorrow.        

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

If You Want it Bad Enough, You Have to Work Hard to Get It

“The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.” 

~Emile Zola 

When I was at the gym this morning I overheard a basketball coach giving two of the young boys that he coaches a lecture on practicing their skills.  He was telling them that they can’t just expect to become pro-basketball players without actually putting in the work to get there.  He was saying to his assistant coach that children just expect to wake up and automatically become what they want to be without putting in the time, the effort and the hard work it takes to get there.  I listened on as he spoke to them and I saw the young boys in there beginning to practice as he was lecturing them so clearly some of what he was saying was starting to sink in.  

As I continued to listen on I thought about the fact that it isn’t always just children who forget that things that are worth having, you have to work hard for.  Sometimes we adults forget that too.  We sometimes rely so heavily on the natural talent that we have to do whatever gifts we were blessed with that we forget that even with natural talent, there is skill involved and those skills have to be continuously exercised.  If we don’t practice our skill set, that talent can eventually fade away.  

We can’t continue to take our skills for granted and believe that no matter what they will always be there for us to use when we get around to putting in the hard work that it takes to make them work for us.  Basketball players don’t just wake up able to play basketball.  Sure they may have had the natural talent to shoot a ball in a hoop when they were younger but there would have been no chance of them making it to the NBA without continuously practicing that skill.  Had they not put in the hard work those skills would have just faded away. 

I’ve heard it said so many times by writers or singers or actors or athletes that it comes natural to them, and yet they still profess how much hard work their natural talent takes.  They take workshops to keep their words fresh, they have vocal coaches to keep their voice in tact, or they take ongoing acting classes to keep their acting skills on point, or they practice on a regular basis to keep their reflexes sharp.  Yes they may have this natural ability but they work hard at maintaining those abilities so that they don’t lose them.  

The same goes for anyone else out there trying to become successful at whatever it is that comes natural to them.  We all have something that we were born to do.  Now we just have to put in the hard work at practicing those skills to develop the success that we know we want.  So take some time to think whether or not you are really putting in the practice at making your skills work for you.  If you know you could be doing more then start now.  Practice equals progression! 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress