It’s Either Fear Or Success, It Can’t Be Both

Seek to understand whatever you’re afraid of.  That was one of the messages in a video message that I got in my email as being a part of the Tyler Perry Mailing list.  He had a huge fear of flying so he sought out to learn everything that he could about airplanes and eventually became a pilot and started flying his own planes.  Not only did he conquer and overcome his fear, but he took fear and rose above that fear (or should I say flew above it).  

So I was sitting here trying to figure out what I was most afraid of.  You know, not the little things like being afraid of bugs, or heights (which is not really a little thing because I am greatly afraid of heights), but the things that will halt me in my tracks of wherever it is I’m trying to go.  I can’t really do much at this present moment in my life about my fear of being on a stage and doing any type of public speaking (which I truly believed kept me from ever pursuing a singing or acting career).  But there is a fear that I do still have time to do something about.  

I don’t know if you would characterize it as a fear of failure or a fear of actually succeeding, but either way that you phrase it, it is a huge problem.  On the one hand there’s the part of me that would be devastated at giving it my absolute best, a hundred percent, and falling flat on my face, and on the other hand there is the part of me that is afraid that if I do give it my absolute best and I do succeed, then what happens if I can’t keep it up.  I know what you’re all thinking.  Nothing is ever going to go completely smooth all the time so that even if I do succeed then there is bound to be some down moments but it is the down moments that have me stuck, or rather the fear of them.  

I’ve started to take a look at a lot of the business people, and writers, and moguls that I admire and aspire to learn from and as any of you might have guessed, Tyler Perry is definitely at the top of that list for me.  He has proven that you can come from not so humble beginnings, and suffer horrendous things in your life and that even when no one else believes in you that you believing in you can really be enough.  I’m never disappointed when I get an email from Tyler Perry’s Mailing list because his message is always just what I needed to hear.  I guess there’s no way I can really succeed if I’m too busy being afraid to.  So it’s either I let the fear win out over the success, or I succeed in spite of the fear.  I really can’t have it both ways.        

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

Redefining What Is Possible

It seems as if this week God is sending me all sorts of signs to lead me in the direction that I need to go.  It’s as if every doubt that I have is getting answered and addressed each day of the week and leaving me with absolutely NO excuses.  The other day I was going over just how many things were holding me back from just diving right in and then Ms. L. tells me about her 11 year old son starting his business with probably more limitations than I have, and yet here I am holding myself back.  

This morning I was thinking of all of the big dreaming that I keep doing and wondering just how much of what I want to accomplish is attainable.  I mean just what are my possibilities of making all of this stuff actually happen.  I was honestly going over the list of life goals that I made a long, long time ago in my head and wondering just what it was that I should cross off because it just wouldn’t be possible.  Then I heard a remarkable story on the news this morning about a man who had just climbed the tallest mountain in the world, Mount Kilimanjaro.  Now I know what you’re thinking.  What’s so special about that, surely he’s not the first person to do that?  That would be a true statement, but I believe that he is the fist person to do it with no legs.  

Spencer West was born with a genetic disorder in which his lower spine was poorly developed and left his legs permanently crossed and essentially useless.  By the time he was 5 years old he had to have his legs amputated to just below the pelvis area.  The doctors told him and his parents that he would never be able to sit up let alone walk and that he would never be a functioning member of society.  

Not only did he defy what the doctors limited him to but he has gone on to do public speaking, candidly telling his story in hopes of inspiring others that anything is possible.  He works with a charity called Free The Children and the climb up the mountain was a campaign that he called Redefine Possible and helped to raise almost $750,000 for the charity.  

Now as I am watching and listening to him speak and being so inspired by his story, I am wondering how can anything on my list of goals be considered impossible when this man, who has every reason to think that his options are limited, doesn’t see that there is anything that is not possible.  It is completely ironic how the stories that you need to hear the most, the one’s that truly will inspire you, always come right at the exact moment that you need to hear them.    

I suppose that it’s not really about my big dreams and goals being impossible, it’s more so about what my definition of possible really is.  Everything is not possible for every individual, but once again, this is not about what someone else deems as being possible when it comes to my ambitions.  It’s only about my own interpretation of just how far I can go and what I know is not impossible.  It’s kind of hard to think that there is anything that you can’t do once you see a man with no legs climb the tallest mountain in the world. 

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

The Lesson That A Cinematic Genius In the Making Has Taught Me

I think that anyone who knows me knows that I don’t mind learning valuable lessons from children.  Sometimes the people who show us whether or not we are moving in the right direction or whether or not we’re just stuck standing still are the children that are a part of our lives, whether it be our own or someone else’s child.  

My best friend Ms. L has an 11 year old cinematic genius in the making.  It is amazing to think that at his young age he can make his own movies, cut and edit film, put together book trailers and produce graphic artwork as if it were as easy as breathing.  He is truly a gifted little boy and Ms. L told me last night that he has finally decided that he wants to make a go of it as a real official business so that he can make the money he needs to afford the more high tech things that he needs to go even further in his adventures of film making.  

I mean it shouldn’t come as a surprise that he’s so talented because his mom is essentially the most gifted writer that I know.  What amazes me even more is the fact that in one night he managed to make this decision, create him a website (a freebie one—he is a kid after all), create business cards and rehearse his spiel that would land him his first of many clients (which he got the next day by the way).  In one night.  I am 32 and have been working at making my dream a reality for the last decade or so and I am still not as far along as I should be.  It really made me (and Ms. L too) think ‘what the hell am I doing and why am I wasting so much time?’  

I keep getting in my own way, so much so that I’m sometimes not even able to recognize that that is what I am doing.  I tell myself that I will get rejected for an article before I even bother to try sending it off.  I tell myself that no one will like the story or characters I have created before actually giving it a real shot.  I constantly tell myself all of the reasons why I can’t do something without seeing the most important reason why I can, because it was something that I was meant to do.  

I believe that everyone is talented at something and even if there are a hundred writers out there who are just as talented as I am, it is only me who can write the stories that I was meant to write and who can tell them in only the way that I can.  I’m no Maya Angelou, or Terry McMillan, or Alice Walker, but I am Jimmetta Carpenter and just as I can not write the way that they do, they can not write the way that I do either.  

Ms. L.’s son has so much belief in himself that he is not letting the fact that he’s 11 and has no real money of his own to fund his business stop him.  He’s just diving right in and handling whatever hiccups happen along the way.  My God if an 11 year old can have that frame of mind about his business then why on earth can’t I.  My best friend’s son doesn’t realize the lesson that his leap of faith has taught me but one day he will realize that he just showed me that the only person that is really in my way, is me.  

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

Maybe Things Would Have Been Better If…

Often times I wonder (too often to actually count) if I made the right decision by choosing not to go back into the traditional work force as most single parents do and make that steady and stable income every other week.  I mean let’s face it, it’s not as if I have hit it big or anything and if I want to get real honest I am not doing as well in my writing career as I thought I would be by now, or that I know I should be doing.  

I think of all the things I want to buy for my daughter and the activities that I would like to put her in to enhance her creative nature that I just can’t afford right now and I wonder what the hell am I doing and I constantly wonder am I completely screwing her life up by not just accepting the fact that this just isn’t working and maybe it’s just not for me.  I mean it’s not like it wouldn’t be nice to have a steady and predictable stream of income coming in that I know I can count on.  

But then yesterday morning as I was getting my daughter ready for daycare (it acts as a camp during the summer) she said ‘thank you mommy’.  I asked her what she was thanking me for and she replied ‘for taking such good care of me’.  She said that I am always there when she needs me.  She almost brought me to tears and I was so touched.  She made me feel like the choice not to go back to a traditional job and stay home with her, all while still pursuing my dreams of making what I love to do my career, was totally worth it.  Yesterday, just her appreciation of me, let me know that it was the right decision, for me anyway.  

It is all the more motivation to let me know that I have to have less moments of procrastination and more moments of productivity because I have to make this work, I have to do what I know in my heart I was meant to do.  Not just because I love doing it and it is my passion, but because being able to write and become more successful at it makes moments like yesterday with my daughter even more possible.  

It would make it more of a certainty that I will continue to always be here when she needs me and that I will always take very good care of her.  More importantly it will show her that you can go after your dreams and make it work even though everyone else around you may be telling you that you’re crazy for ever thinking this could work and to be more realistic.  I want her to not be afraid to go after her dreams and to not have to think that going after her dreams is going to do more harm then good.  

So in an effort to procrastinate less and produce more, I am going to make it a point to accomplish at least three things every week (3 is a nice workable number) to get me further along in my writing career.  Whether it is actually working on my novel (which is still not finished) or just getting those query letters that I keep trying to make perfect sent out so someone can actually see them.  Even if it is just gathering research for a particular project, that is still working towards the end goal of finishing that project.  I think that is a goal that I can work with and actually stick to.  

Until I do make things happen the way that I want them to, I have to work on tuning that voice in the back of my mind that questions if things would’ve been better if I had made another choice.  Fact of the matter is that I will never know the answer to that because I chose to do me and not what someone else might have thought I should do.  I’m certainly not going to become the success that I want to be by doing what everyone else thinks I should.       

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

Even With Good Intentions There Are Still Distractions

Good intention without the action to back it up is just that, intention.  There’s no real follow through involved in the things that you intend to get done, just a lot of wishing you had actually accomplished your task.  I had a plan this morning to get all of this work done on a couple of my projects and I even went to the great lengths of bringing my notebooks and my laptop out into the dining room where the T.V. was not on to distract me (I have a T.V. in the living room but the only one who really watches that one is my daughter).  

I tore myself away from one distraction only to be plagued with a lot of emotions and thoughts running through my mind about some personal stuff that lead to me calling Ms. L. to talk, thus diverting my attention away from all of the work that I had intended to get done.  The conversation that I had was good, don’t get me wrong, and it was something that I needed to talk out with someone (since I can’t really talk them out with the person that I really needed to talk them out with), but it gave me another excuse to use for not getting any writing done.  

I suppose that one could say that talking out what was going on in my head did in some way help me get something done.  If I hadn’t I would still be sitting here, staring at a blank computer screen with a bunch of unnecessary thoughts running through my mind (that have nothing to do with any project I’m working on), and I would become completely blocked.  In addition, I wouldn’t have had the opportunity of writing this particular blog post.  

Sometimes what appears as us being unproductive can help us break through those walls that are blocking us from our greatest potential.  I guess the good intentions that you don’t always manage to follow through on just might lead to something else that was intended to work out better for you in the long run.    

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress 

I Don’t Like Looking At the Empty Calendar Squares

I don’t like it when I feel a touch of envy.  Not a bad envy (although I’m not really sure there is a good kind of envy) but the kind of envy that motivates you into actually doing something.  Now you might be wondering, if it motivates me to get going again, then why wouldn’t I like it? 

It can never be a bad thing to get re-motivated to do something that you know you should already be doing.  That’s just it right there.  I don’t like it because it’s something that I already know in the back of my mind, that I should be doing as it is and that I shouldn’t have to watch or read about other people doing it to get moving in that direction.  

I was reading some other bloggers posts as I was doing some research for a project, and I kept reading about other writers having such busy schedules.  Talk about going to conferences, and doing book signings, and interviews, and things of that nature; the things that I feel like I should be out there doing too.  

It’s not as if I wouldn’t like to have a full calendar and to have to tell people that I have this book signing to do, or that conference to speak at, or this interview to give.  In fact every year when I buy those desk calendars or day planners I can see in my mind the pages, one after the other, full of appointments and deadlines that just can’t be missed.  And yet year after year those pages have gone blank, left unfilled, and more time passes.  

I guess the only thing left to really figure out is when I am going to get around to filling those pages up.  I suppose I would have to finish filling up the pages of the rest of my novel that is still undone, or finish one of the other projects that I am working on.  It’s not easy to have those blank squares on the calendar taunting me with missed opportunities.  

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

From One Struggling Writer to the Rest Who Think They Are Struggling Alone

Sometime last week (it may have been the week before that) Ms. L sent me a link to a blog post titled Don’t Break the Chain by a wonderful blogger named Catherine Ryan Howard who I am now following (and you all should be too).  Ms. L knows I have been struggling with finding the time to write and work on all things related to my writing business so she thought that this would be helpful.  Well as usual, Ms. L always knows just what I need to read (and hear) to get me jump started again.  Of course it helped to know that this post also helped Ms. L as well because I knew that I was not alone in my struggles to be productive in my writing efforts.  

Well the blog post talked about many things in regards to one being more productive but more importantly it gave the idea of marking off days on a calendar with a red X for every day that you have accomplished your daily writing goals, whether it be actually writing or working on the business side of your writing career, and of course after so many days of seeing a chain of red X’s you get into the mode of not wanting to break that chain and having to see those X’s stare you in the face everyday becomes an incentive to actually get things done. 

Well there is a website that helps with that, for those of us who don’t want to go out and buy a huge wall calendar to mark down the days.  The website (once you register) will allow you to mark each day with a red square for every day that you have achieved your daily goals and you can even create other chains for you business efforts or whatever other goals you want to set.  I signed up (almost immediately) and have found it to be extremely helpful.  

I have actually been getting things done because I simply just don’t want to break the chains that I have created for myself.  Who knew something so simple as marking off days on a calendar could be so helpful in keeping me focused and making me produce more work.  I hope that any of you out there who is struggling with this very same issue clicks on the links to the websites and gets started on their road to becoming more productive.   

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

Is the Fighter Still in There Somewhere?

I was sitting here wondering what to write about tonight?  Honestly right now all I feel is a sense of loss.  No, no one in my family or close to me died but in some ways I am wondering if the best part of me did.  I was just asking my best friend Ms. L. last night whether or not she remembered the times when she would call me and I would rush her off the phone telling her that ‘I have to call you back because I’m writing and I have to get this out’.  She said that she remembered that very well.  I asked her where did that person go and she simply responded, ‘she’ll be back’.  

For as long as I could remember I have wanted to be a writer and have books upon books out on shelves and change the world with my words.  But that wasn’t all that I had hoped for.  I wanted to be immersed in creativity from singing and acting and even dancing.  More importantly I wanted to be a symbol for why the arts and creativity is so necessary in this world.  

I don’t know whether I just got so bogged down by the many people that were in my life telling me that I couldn’t do what I always felt I was meant to do.  I don’t know if I just got tired of being rejected and not having the resources I needed to make my dreams a reality.  I don’t know if there’s just some part of me that just got tired of fighting for those dreams.  

As I sit here, still mentally thinking up ideas for my next story, I am still unable to finish the novel that I have been working on since the end of last year.  While I know there are tons of query letters that I need to send out to agents for the second novel I have already done (which is with my editor), I can’t seem to craft the perfect one to send out.  Although I have dozens of ideas for articles to write and even articles that I’ve already written that I need to write query letters for, I still find myself scared that the query letters won’t be perfect enough to get accepted.  

So what happened to the fighter that I had in me ready to do whatever it took?  What happened to the person who was prepared to stay up however long it took to get the work done?  What happened to that person who, when she didn’t have what she needed, made up the resources where there weren’t any, just to fulfill her purpose?  I know that she’s still in there somewhere.  I just don’t know where the fight in me went.  

What I do know is that the passion is still there.  The desire is still there.  I still wake up with stories in my head and new ideas for the stories I have yet to finish.  I still mentally am working on my vision for my media and publishing company.  I am still dreaming up ideas for the creativity camp that I want to create for kids so that they understand just how important the arts are to have in their lives.  I know that my dreams haven’t changed and they haven’t faded away.  I just need to dig that fighter in me back out. 

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

So You Think You’re Special

There was a recent uproar when a high school English teacher, David McCullough Jr., gave a graduation commencement speech at Wellesley High School in Massachusetts telling the graduating seniors that they were not special.  There have been many negative comments stating that a commencement speech is supposed to be uplifting and motivating for those high school seniors, sending them off into the world full of hope and optimism.  I can see where they are coming from because when I was in high school I might have felt a little let down by being told that I wasn’t special.  But the fact is that it’s the truth. 

Mr. McCullough is only doing what a lot of us parents won’t dare to do for their child as they go off into the world ready to pursue their dreams.  Prepare them for the cold hard truth that there are thousands of other people out there just like them.  There are thousands of people that have just graduated high school, some with honors.  There are thousands of people that have been accepted into top notch universities and are majoring in the very same thing that they are.  There are thousands of people that want to change the world just like they do.  There are thousands of people who are just as smart and as talented as they are.  In other words, they are not special. 

Now obviously Mr. McCullough didn’t really mean to discourage these kids into thinking that all that they had accomplished thus far meant absolutely nothing and that all the hard work they had put in until that point was all for nothing.  He simply didn’t want to send them out into this big old world thinking that there weren’t thousands of other people just like them, who had accomplished the same things and worked just as hard. 

Of course our children are special to us, and everything they do is special and remarkable, but if we don’t prepare them for the fact that when they go out into this world, what we see as being remarkable, the rest of world will see as simply average, then we are doing them a disservice.  We are not giving them the proper tools to really make something of themselves.  They need to know that the world can be their oyster but it will not just open itself up to them without them putting in the work to pry it open. 

We keep sending them out into the world with this sense of entitlement, thinking that they are so special that they don’t have anyone else out there to compete with.  We are allowing them to dilute themselves into thinking that they are the only one’s who can do whatever it is that they do.  But they are not.  We have to let them know that they will have to fight for their rightful place in a world full of people who are exactly like them.  As David McCullough stated in his speech, “if everyone is special, then no one is.”

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

Oh the Obstacles We Duck and Dodge While Investing In Our Future

“If you make the investment up front, the return will come back later.”

~Bishop T.D. Jakes 

As writers we go through many obstacles, if we’re lucky, before ever really hitting our stride in our career (and I say our, because I am speaking my future successes into existence even though it is not quite a reality yet).  We go through tons of rejection, writer’s block, having doubters and negativity with anyone who doesn’t see the vision, and often times we are our own and biggest obstacle that stands in the way.  

I was just talking to Ms. L. earlier and saying that I really wish that my journey to this success that I know I am destined for could be going a lot smoother and with a few less obstacles to stumble over.  But then I quickly took that back because I remembered something I heard while listening to Bishop T.D. Jakes talk about living your life on purpose.  He talked about making investments in your future, in your purpose, and how sometimes our mistakes and our struggles are our investments.  

They are what make our successes all the more worthwhile.  He said that sometimes “what you think is working against you is actually working for you” and that “it is the digression that causes the progression”.  I suppose that is what is meant when people say what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger (although it never feels like that when you’re going through whatever it is you’re going through).  Our struggles are in many ways our fuel and motivation to keep going and to keep dodging those obstacles as they come.  

Bishop T.D. Jakes also said that when it comes to making investments into your future “you can never reap of a dividend where you don’t make an investment—you sow first and reap later; you can’t sow and reap at the same time.”  I suppose that I have to be a little more patient as I make my investments and have a little bit more faith that everything will work out the way that it should.  

I can’t honestly say that all of the obstacles along my journey have not had their purpose.  It may not have felt like it at that particular point in time, but looking back on them now, they all, in so many ways, served their purpose.  I think that all of the struggles that we go through are simply just preparation for when our success comes to fruition.  Then we’ll be able to say to anyone who has something to throw at us to bring it on because there won’t be anything that they have to hit us with that we can’t handle.  

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress