Lessons – Page 6 – Write 2 Be

Honoring Your Testimonies for the Stepping Stones that They Are

June 18, 2013 jcladyluv

I’ve done it more times than I can count. Not only that but I never even gave a second thought as to what it is I was really doing. I’ve wished away all of the bad things that have ever happened to me at one point of my life or another and I’ve regretted so many past mistakes that were made and wonder what if I could go back and change things. It really is no way to live, always wanting a do-over and never wanting to make one single misstep. Knowing what I know now, after much growing and lots of learning, honestly if I could I may just go back and make even more mistakes in my life, on purpose.

I know that sounds crazy. However, if you really think about it, can you really say that all of your mistakes and blunders did not get you any kind of unexpected reward or bless you in some way that you didn’t even know that you needed it. The more mistakes that you make the more life lessons that you learn and there can never be enough lessons learned in life. But most importantly, if you have lived a perfect life, a life with not one mistake and not one regret, did you really live life at all. Can you really enjoy life taking such careful steps in it that you never step out of bounds?

When I think about the not so ideal childhood that I had and all of the things that I once would have liked to forget, they were some of the toughest things I have ever been through. While they weren’t pleasant and certainly not perfect, looking back, they made me stronger and I believe now that they were a part of the preparation that I needed in order to eventually fulfill my purpose. I don’t think that I would be the person that I am now without the struggles that I went through then or even the ones that I have recently experienced.

Our mistakes, the things we regret, the obstacles that we struggle to get through, they are what builds our character. They strengthen us for the greatness that we are destined to achieve. They help to prepare us for the journey that we are on to fulfill our purpose. They provide little blessings along the way that we would have never had otherwise. So stop regretting the mistakes you’ve made in the past. Don’t treat them as events that have held you back, treat them as the stepping stones that can propel you forward. With great risks comes even greater rewards.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Write 2 Be Magazine is now out so please go check it out at http://write2bemagazine.com/. Also please go and join the magazine on twitter https://twitter.com/write2bemag, join the email listing for the magazine or submit a request for an author interview at Write2bemagazine@yahoo.com, and also like the Write 2 Be Magazine fan page https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine. Please help support my endeavor and my new journey and help me spread the word about Write 2 Be and its meaning.

A Fortune to Be Told

April 3, 2013 jcladyluv

I know that most people don’t give a lot of credence to fortune cookies or the supposed advice that they provide inside of them. However, I am one of those people that do often times (not all the time) take what my fortune cookies have to say. Of course they have to make some kind of sense or else I just toss them to the side.

My fortune cookies seem to always have meaningful messages that somehow just magically apply to whatever situation I am going through or whatever motivation that I happen to need. At moments when I questioned whether I was making the right decisions I would get fortune cookies that read “Depart not from the path which fate has you assigned”, or “All your hard work will soon pay off”, or my personal favorite “God will give you everything that you want”. Now I know that they may sound like some really good lines that the fortune cookie writer just happened to come up with but you have to understand the timing in which I received them.

So I stumbled upon one today (yes I keep all of the good ones stored away) that reminded me of how much our past experiences help to mold our future. It read “the best profit of future is the past” and that is true for anyone but I think writers in particular get great use out of their past experiences. We take the stories from our past and use them to shape the stories of our future. One experience that impacted you greatly when you are younger, for a writer, can turn into hundreds of stories when you are older.

Thinking about this, in some ways, makes my somewhat cherish my bad childhood, or even the mistakes that I made as an adolescent or young adult. I used to wish that I could take some of my mistakes from my past and get a do-over but then I would be changing my story, and the stories that I have to tell in the present and in the future. I would be erasing all of the material that I have for some pretty good novels or even non-fiction cautionary tales in the (near) future. You can’t go back to the past but you can turn your past into a very beneficial future. You can let your past fuel the passions of your future.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Lessons to Be Learned From a Media Mogul—Russell Simmons

December 14, 2012 jcladyluv

I think Russell Simmons has always been right there at the top of my list of people to watch and learn from within the media industry. What I think I admire most about him is the fact that he almost doesn’t want to be noticed and he is rather shy about his success and what he has managed to achieve in his life and in his career. That kind of humble attitude is something that I think a lot of successful people could stand to learn because just as easily as the success has come, it can go away just as easily without the right attitude.

Russell Simmons is someone who has really built an empire to be admired. He has created a company that spreads positive messages throughout the music and media industry. He promotes empowerment within the younger generation and has produced many different types of creative programs that enriches the industry and the people within it. Through all of his accomplishments he has remained humble and eager to share what he has learned throughout his life with the rest of the people who are just as eager to get to the level that he is at. I wanted to share the lessons that I’ve learned from his journey to the top.

1.) If You Don’t Believe in You, No One Else Will Believe in You— You have to be your best cheerleader. You have to have the confidence in yourself that you want everyone else to have in you. You have to trust in yourself and your abilities to do what you have set out to do. You have to be your biggest fan.

2.) You Can’t Be So Willing to Receive Without Being Willing to Give— In Russell Simmons book, Do You! He says “instead of waking up trying to figure out what you can get, you should be waking up trying to figure out what you can give.” A lot of people gain their success doing something that can benefit others as well as themselves so we have to remember that it can’t just be about what we get out of accomplishing our goals and our dreams, but also about what we can give to the people in our communities, in our states, in this country, by fulfilling our purpose. For instance, Russell Simmons has taken his success and funded so many foundations and projects that help to further the communities and places that he reaches out to. Lady GaGa has used her success to build a foundation that helps people dealing with issues surrounding bullying and to help encourage people that it is okay to be who they are born to be. What we do has to matter in more places then just our bank accounts and our own wallets.

3.) You Have to Stay Open to Change— Everything is not going to stay the same. It can’t stay the same in order for those on their journey to success to actually reach their goals. You have to be willing to change with the situation at hand and adapt to what has become the reality of things and not reside in the circumstances of how things were. I have learned that change is simply inevitable and trying to fight it and keep change from happening is only hindering your growth and your progress. You can not succeed staying right where you are, unchanged. When I think of it like that I say “bring on the change.”

4.) Always Be Honest With Yourself— Yes of course you should try your best to be an honest person all around but when I say be honest with yourself, I mean be honest about who you are, faults and all. Other people’s criticisms will always bother you but they won’t hurt nearly as much if you are already honest about who you are and you know yourself and the areas where you can improve and areas where are satisfied with the person you have become.

5.) Don’t Give Up YOUR Vision Just to Grab a Chance at Success— Along your journey, there will be people who will get just as excited about your vision as you are, but then they will try and convince you to change it. They’ll say “maybe it will be better if you do this,” or “maybe you’ll have a better chance at it if you do it like that.” They will have you believing that their suggestions to your vision will propel it forward. That is simply you, relinquishing your vision to someone else, to do with it what they will. Your vision is yours and should never be shaped and molded to fit anyone else’s views.

Being open, not just to change within your circumstances, but the changes that take place within yourself, is an important part in succeeding. You can’t take your life and your career, your dreams and goals, to the highest heights without changing some things up along the way. More importantly, you can’t do that without staying true to yourself and true to your vision.

People will try to hold you back. People will try and change what your vision is into what they think it should be. It will sound convincing and it will sound like they know exactly what they are talking about and that maybe you should be listening to them. But it is your vision and your dreams. Don’t let anyone take your dreams and try and change them. Hold onto them and make them a reality, but do so in your own time, and in your own way. Believe in yourself and what your vision is and when you make it there, to the top, don’t forget to help someone else up along the way.

I have the Write 2 Be a Visionary…What is your Write 2 Be?

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Write 2 Be Magazine will be debuting on January 15^th, 2013 so please go join the magazine on twitter before it debuts on https://twitter.com/write2bemag and join the email listing for the magazine at Write2bemagazine@yahoo.com. Also please feel free to go and friend me on facebook at http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310 and like my Write 2 Be Magazine fan page. Please help support my endeavor and my new journey and help me spread the word about Write 2 Be and its meaning.

Lessons to Be Learned From a Media Mogul—Steve Harvey

December 13, 2012 jcladyluv

I probably would never have put Steve Harvey on this list of people I admire as a Media Mogul about a year ago. Mostly because I hadn’t really saw him that way until I started researching just how many things he had a role in within the media industry. There was once a time where you would here the name Steve Harvey and the first word that came to mind was Comedian. Now there are so many other things that would fit in a description of him.

He fought hard to be noticed for something other than just being a Comedian and to be respected as a true change within the media industry. And he did so with some simple principles that he follows from lessons that he has learned while on his journey. I wanted to share some of those simple principles and lessons with you and hopefully they will help you in your journey as they are beginning to help me in mine.

1.) Taking Care of You Has to Take Precedence— If you don’t take care of yourself, then you won’t be around to take care of the family and people that you love. You won’t be able to accomplish the things you dream of doing. Health is a priority that far too many people take for granted and keeping yourself healthy is going to allow you to build up your endurance and stamina to work hard to get the things that you want and to hold onto the things that you want.

2.) Some Rules Are Meant to Be Broken for All the Right Reasons— Of course most rules should be adhered to in general. However, there are times when it is okay to toss the rule book out the window. Rules like “don’t put all of your eggs in one basket,” or “always have a plan B,” are rules that people will tell you to live by because it’s the practical thing to do. It makes sense for some, but for those out of the ordinary people whose dreams go way beyond the scope of anyone’s imagination, those particular rules only set you up to fail. Some rules truly were made to be broken.

3.) Just Because Other People Place You in a Box Doesn’t Mean You Have to Remain There— Just because people label you as one thing, doesn’t mean that is the label you have to accept. Everyone put Steve Harvey in the box as Comedian and that was it. Just another one trick pony. But that is not where he chose to stay. He didn’t want to just be known as a comedian. So he stepped out of that box and became an Actor who not only went and took on acting roles but who actually got his own television show, a Radio Host of a nationally syndicated radio program, an Author of a book that is now a major motion picture, and now a television game show and talk show host. See what can happen when you think outside of the box.

4.) If You Don’t Work Hard for Your Dream, No One Else is Going To— You can’t expect other people to work hard to help you get where you want to be if you aren’t willing to work ten times as hard. The goals and dreams you are working towards are yours, no one else’s. If it means you have to wake up early and go to bed late in order to make things happen, then that’s what you are going to have to do. Yes it is wonderful if you manage to surround yourself with a team of people who are on your side and are working to help you further your dreams, but they’re not going to work any harder then they see you working. You can’t really rely on anyone else to help you get to that place of success, just yourself. Your work ethic is what is going to get you there and it’s what’s going to keep you there.

5.) Everyone That is Around You is Not There to Help You— When you are younger you thrive on how big your social circle is. When you get older you start to realize that your circle of “friends” may be too big. What will hold you back from becoming successful like you are striving to be more than anything is having the wrong people around you. Some people are just simply too toxic to have in your life. They want to ride on your coat tales and if you don’t take them with you they will try effortlessly to drag you down right back to where you started. These are the people who, while they say they want to see you succeed, what they are really hoping you do is fail. These are the people that you don’t need around you, but you have to know that and realize that before it’s too late.

There are so many rules that you aren’t supposed to break. There are practicalities that everyone is supposed to take with you through life. But sometimes being practical is just another way of playing things safe. There is nothing wrong with saying that you have a plan for your future, you know what you want to do, what you want to be, and where you want to go in life, and focusing on that goal and that dream, without a back-up plan.

I heard once that sometimes back up plans are for those who are not really sure what it is that they want. Now I don’t mean people with multiple roles within life such as being a singer, an author, and an actress. That is simply a person who had a broad vision for their future. I mean those who go down one path and then prepare something to fall back on that is practical but not necessarily something that they are passionate about.

Why isn’t it okay to put all of your eggs in one basket if there is no other basket that you are interested in pursuing? There are all kinds of rules that people will try to make you adhere to and labels that people will place on you. Who says that you have to live by anyone else’s rules or labels but your own?

I have the Write 2 Be Different…What is your Write 2 Be?

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Lessons to Be Learned From a Media Mogul—Oprah Winfrey

December 12, 2012 jcladyluv

Who hasn’t ever admired all of the accomplishments that Oprah Winfrey has been able to achieve. I sure have a lot of respect and admiration for the empire that she has created and built up, literally from nothing. What I admire most I think is the humble beginnings that she came from and how, not only did she never let any of that get in her way, but she in fact let it drive her forward.

Her success came in small doses and she savored those lessons that she learned along the way. She didn’t rush her success and she didn’t hold onto any of the negative criticism that she received from others who tried to make her be someone she wasn’t. I wanted to share some of those lessons that I have learned from Oprah Winfrey and plan on implementing on my journey to where I want to go.

There’s No Sin in Failing, the Sin is in Never Trying— You always hear people use the excuse “What if I Fail” when it comes to trying something different but you rarely here anyone ask the question “What if I actually Succeed”. Not trying is the greatest harm that people can do to their dreams. It is always better to try and to fail than to have never tried at all.
There’s Nothing Wrong with Setting the Bar High for Yourself and Your Life— I’ve always had people tell me that people shouldn’t have such high standards for what they are going to get out of life. For a moment I’ll admit that it seemed that the higher I set my standards the more I ended up being disappointed by the outcome. I’ve come to realize that it wasn’t the high standards that ended up disappointing me, it was the lack of belief that I had in accomplishing those high standards that left me disappointed. Now I realize, the higher the standards the better, so long as you believe that you can attain them.
Having the Ability to Forgive Can Allow Your Journey to Move Forward— Oprah particularly likes to drive home the fact that forgiveness is not for the other person, it is for you. It made sense to me when she pointed out that if you don’t allow yourself to forgive the people that have hurt you in your past you will remain stuck in your past with all of that hurt and anger. Forgiving others for their mistakes allows you to move forward and become a better version of yourself.
Always Be the Best You— You can’t really get anywhere trying to be what everyone else wants you to be and trying to live up to other people’s expectations for you. All you can ever really do is be the best you and fulfill the purpose and expectations that you have for yourself.
Do Something that Scares You— If you never do anything that scares you, something that is different from your normal activities, then that means you’re never really taking any risks. Taking risks is scary. Starting a brand new company and working for yourself is scary. Putting yourself out there to market your business or the book you’ve written is scary. Doing something that you’ve always dreamed of doing but never took the chance to do (like sing in front of a room full of people) is scary. But in the end all of those things bring you to an end result that could be amazing if you are not too scared to take the risks.

You know there are so many people out there (myself included) who were always told to be more like someone else and so that’s what we aimed for. I can remember so many times saying that I want to be the next Oprah Winfrey, or that I want to write as beautifully as Maya Angelou. I was always striving to be a version of someone else that I thought was so great and so talented when the reality is that I can never be anything other than myself. Why spend so much time trying to emulate someone else’s talent, someone else’s goals, someone else’s dreams, when that will never get me what I want.

Truthfully, just as there is no one that is ever going to be like that one person you strive to be like or that person whose talent you wished you had, there is also never going to be anyone like you either. You have a talent and a uniqueness that is all your own and that no one else could master but you.

I am just going to take what I admire about the people who are where I want to be and the lessons that I have gained from them and fuel my journey with that knowledge. While I may never be as successful as Oprah and I may never change the world in the ways that she has, who knows, I may be more successful and I may change the world in a whole different and remarkable way.

I have the Write 2 Be Unique…What is your Write 2 Be?

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Lessons to Be Learned From a Media Mogul—Tyler Perry

December 11, 2012 jcladyluv

In reading about Tyler Perry’s journey; both his struggles and humble beginnings, as well as his rise to success and his eventual triumph; I can always point out a lesson that he has learned along his road to success that I can apply to what I am currently going through now. Some of the things that I have learned from reading and just watching his journey are things and words that were never spoken to me growing up.

They are things that I have been struggling to comprehend for a long time now. They are things that are finally starting to sink in and I am realizing that these are things that will help propel me to where it is that I want to be, and where it is that I need to be. So I wanted to share with you a few lessons that I have learned from observing Tyler Perry that could help steer you on a more sturdy road to success.

1) Don’t Let Anybody Define You— People have hated on Tyler Perry since he became a success. They’ve tried to tear him down, say what they think he should be doing. Even some people in the industry still don’t take him seriously enough just because he started off in the comedy arena. None of that matters to him. He has never tried to be anything that other people wanted him to be. He has never tried to be anyone other than himself. And look at where you can go just defining your own identity instead of letting others define it for you.

2) Guard Your Heart—When Tyler Perry speaks of guarding your heart he isn’t talking about heartbreak (like I initially thought). He is speaking of keeping your heart in tact when others continue to try and change you. On your road to success people are going to do cruel and unforgivable things to you, things that you never thought they would do. Guarding your heart is going to keep you from allowing those cruelties and those unforgivable things to change your heart and turn you into someone that you are not.

3) Never let the word NO stop you from succeeding anyway—Tyler Perry’s first play that he wrote in 1992 and took his whole life savings to produce and put on was not well received and it placed him back into the poverty that he dealt with in his childhood. He spent months sleeping in seedy motels and eventually in his car. He never let the No’s keep him from powering through the rough times and eventually someone said Yes! The rest is history.

4) Don’t let the bad that’s in your past hold you back from receiving the good that is in your future—Tyler Perry had an abusive and poverty stricken childhood that could’ve made him shut down and give up. He took his painful and hurtful past and let it be the fuel that drove him to succeed and to make his life better. He refused to let his past hold him back from all of the blessings that he was due in his future.

5) Never question what God has in store for you—No matter what hard times he faced and no matter how bad it got, Tyler Perry didn’t just maintain a strong belief in himself and his talent, but he maintained his faith that he had in God and what God had planned for him. He maintained his desire to fulfill the purpose that God had given him in life.

I know that they say success is all in who you know, and I do believe that to an extent. However, in observing some of these powerful media moguls and seeing what lessons they have to teach along the way, that may be an over-exaggerated phrase that everyone just would like to be true. I mean it’s a good excuse to use for why you’re not where you want to be right? You don’t know anyone so that’s why you’re not where you want to be. It’s the excuse I’ve been using for quite a while now.

It’s more about knowing yourself and knowing what your purpose is and never questioning it. It’s about not letting other people’s ideals for you turn you against what you know is right for you. It doesn’t help to know all the right people, if all they’re going to do is tell you all of the wrong things and lead you down the wrong path. You are your best bet to get where it is that you desire to be.

I have the Write 2 Be Authentic…What is your Write 2 Be?

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Write 2 Be Magazine will be debuting on January 15^th, 2013 so please go join the magazine on twitter before it debuts on https://twitter.com/write2bemag and join the email listing for the magazine at Write2bemagazine@yahoo.com. Also please feel free to go and friend me on facebook at http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310 and like my Write 2 Be Magazine fan page. Please help support my endeavor and my new journey and help me spread the word about Write 2 Be and its meaning.

Nothing Like a Good Kick When You’re Down to Get You Going Again

October 9, 2012 jcladyluv

I have always known I wanted to be a writer (well obviously not as a baby but from the age of 6 so fairly young) and once I knew that writing was my dream I slowly began guiding myself towards that. Now at 6 I wasn’t crafting novels or anything (although that is not unheard of today) but I began reading all kinds of different stories and discovering what types of stories interested me. By the time I turned 10 I began taking the bad experiences that were going on at home and using those emotions that I felt to begin crafting poetry.

I started to envision all of the roads and paths that writing was going to take me down. I admit I was always a bit of a dreamer and that my dreams of where I was going to go within my writing career were probably a bit exaggerated but I could have sworn that I was going to be somewhere so different by the time I reached my thirties and I always imagined the best of circumstances.

Here I am now, in my early thirties, and I am not even in the vicinity of where I thought I would be at this point in my life. I feel as if life keeps kicking me when I’m already down and while I know that what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger, I don’t feel like I am getting any stronger with every struggle that comes my way. I sit and wonder at times where did things get off track and wonder if I could only go back to that point where the course changed then maybe I could finally get to the point that I want to be at.

The problem with that is that going back and trying to reroute the course changes a lot of the good things that have happened, one of them being my daughter, and I can’t say that I would trade a lot of the experiences that I have had for anything else. If I dwell on what could’ve been in some dreamed about future from when I was too young to know any better then I will begin to take for granted all of the good things that I do have. Not only that but I will take for granted all of the lessons that my mistakes have taught me.

I suppose there’s a reason for everything that happens. Even when you veer off the path that you were meant to travel on, the detours always provide something that you wouldn’t have experienced otherwise. It’s hard when you feel like you are continually being kicked when you are already down. However, the other side of that coin is that sometimes it takes a good kick to get you headed back in the right direction again. It’s never too late to change the circumstances that are keeping you down as long as you’re willing to keep getting right back up for the next round.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

The Lesson That A Cinematic Genius In the Making Has Taught Me

July 18, 2012 jcladyluv

I think that anyone who knows me knows that I don’t mind learning valuable lessons from children. Sometimes the people who show us whether or not we are moving in the right direction or whether or not we’re just stuck standing still are the children that are a part of our lives, whether it be our own or someone else’s child.

My best friend Ms. L has an 11 year old cinematic genius in the making. It is amazing to think that at his young age he can make his own movies, cut and edit film, put together book trailers and produce graphic artwork as if it were as easy as breathing. He is truly a gifted little boy and Ms. L told me last night that he has finally decided that he wants to make a go of it as a real official business so that he can make the money he needs to afford the more high tech things that he needs to go even further in his adventures of film making.

I mean it shouldn’t come as a surprise that he’s so talented because his mom is essentially the most gifted writer that I know. What amazes me even more is the fact that in one night he managed to make this decision, create him a website (a freebie one—he is a kid after all), create business cards and rehearse his spiel that would land him his first of many clients (which he got the next day by the way). In one night. I am 32 and have been working at making my dream a reality for the last decade or so and I am still not as far along as I should be. It really made me (and Ms. L too) think ‘what the hell am I doing and why am I wasting so much time?’

I keep getting in my own way, so much so that I’m sometimes not even able to recognize that that is what I am doing. I tell myself that I will get rejected for an article before I even bother to try sending it off. I tell myself that no one will like the story or characters I have created before actually giving it a real shot. I constantly tell myself all of the reasons why I can’t do something without seeing the most important reason why I can, because it was something that I was meant to do.

I believe that everyone is talented at something and even if there are a hundred writers out there who are just as talented as I am, it is only me who can write the stories that I was meant to write and who can tell them in only the way that I can. I’m no Maya Angelou, or Terry McMillan, or Alice Walker, but I am Jimmetta Carpenter and just as I can not write the way that they do, they can not write the way that I do either.

Ms. L.’s son has so much belief in himself that he is not letting the fact that he’s 11 and has no real money of his own to fund his business stop him. He’s just diving right in and handling whatever hiccups happen along the way. My God if an 11 year old can have that frame of mind about his business then why on earth can’t I. My best friend’s son doesn’t realize the lesson that his leap of faith has taught me but one day he will realize that he just showed me that the only person that is really in my way, is me.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

When Life Gives You Teachable Moments…

May 15, 2012 jcladyluv

“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.”

~Author Unknown

In being a mother there are always those moments where you just sit back and let your child learn their hard lessons on their own, usually the hard way. However, there are other times when you see your child going through some of the same things that you may have went through when you were around their age, and you want to just stop them and advise them with your experience as their guide. The lessons don’t always sink in, but you still want to take that moment and make it a teachable one.

While it may not make sense to them at that moment, much like you did when you got older, they will see the value in that lesson when they least expect it. Every now and then, you will even teach yourself those same lessons all over again while trying to impart wisdom on them.

Recently I have been trying to help my daughter deal with the issue of being teased and picked on and bullied at school by her classmates. It’s been painful to see her go from loving to go to school and learn new things to hating the fact that she has to go because of those very kids in her class. I try my best to help her try and find ways to deal with the situation but so far, nothing has really stuck.

I even try to use my experience of having gone through the exact same things when I was in elementary school and having to learn the ways to deal with it the hard way and it seems to help her for about a week (if that) but then she started acting out in class (which is completely unlike her) in response to her classmates bothering her. When she tries to blame whatever they did to antagonize her for the reason why she chose to act out in class, I make sure to let her know that no one else is responsible for her actions but her.

I remind her that she is supposed to know what’s right and wrong and that no matter what someone else does to her, she knows the appropriate ways to respond and that acting out is not one of them. She cries that she doesn’t understand why they are mean to her and because I don’t know why, I just tell her that she can’t control how people feel or what they do, but she can control how she reacts to them.

I reminded her of how much she loves school, and loves to learn new things and that she shouldn’t allow the children in her class to have that much power over her. As I was telling her this I began to remind myself of the very same thing with certain negative people in my life.

I spent a lot of time in my youth worried about what everyone was going to say about me. I worried whether people were going to like me and I went out of my way doing things (not extremely terrible things) that were out of character for me because I wanted certain people to like me. It worked a lot of the times but then I never really knew if it was me who they liked or just the person I was pretending to be for them.

Even though I don’t bother pretending for anyone anymore, there are certain people, one in particular, that I still find myself wanting their approval. But having to try and teach my daughter to not allow other people to dictate what she does or who she is, I realize that that lesson is not just for her, it’s one that I am still not finished learning.

A person’s negativity only has power over you if you allow it to and you should never, no matter who that person is, allow someone to have that much control over what you do or how you feel. No matter if that person is the closest of friends or even a family member you can not allow that person’s actions or words dictate yours.

We are all responsible for our own actions and choices, and yes, our inaction as well. If we allow someone’s hurtful words or behavior to keep us down and keep us from doing something that we know in our heart is right then we can not place the blame on them. No one can have that kind of power over you unless you give them that power.

What we do or don’t do; the dreams we carry out or don’t carry out; are our own responsibilities and no one else’s. It may be wrong for someone to purposely try and tear us down but we are the only ones that can allow them to succeed.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

Somewhere Hidden In the Scraps

April 16, 2012 jcladyluv

“Miracles always begin with recognition of what you have; if you don’t recognize what you have, you can never multiply what you have not recognized.”

~Bishop T.D. Jakes

There are some writers that will always tell other aspiring writers that they are never supposed to throw anything away. That whatever you create should be held onto. There are those scraps of paper that you set to the side whenever your idea doesn’t pan out the way you thought it would.

There’s that opening scene that you decided that you weren’t crazy about once you had completed it. Even the novel that you, for some unknown reason, stopped working on halfway through it and have just set to the side never to be seen again for years, possibly decades. I firmly believe in never throwing things away but not just for the sake of holding onto things and not being able to let go but because you never know what treasures lie in those scraps of paper that you are thinking about throwing away.

Those scraps of paper may not have been right for what you initially intended it for but they might be perfect for some other project down the line. That scene may not have fit that particular story but could find a home in the next one. That unfinished novel that is still sitting and collecting dust may just be waiting for the right time for you to be ready to finish it and it could be the next great novel the world is waiting to read.

Last week I wrote a post that mentioned some segments from a sermon given by Bishop T.D. Jakes that was featured on a particular episode of Oprah’s Next Chapter. I had only captured certain pieces of that sermon on the show but this morning I went back and listened to it in its entirety and got so much more out of it then I did before. His specific message was on saving the scraps (our past burdens) and it was centered around a passage from the bible taken from Mark6:42-52.

In his sermon he said that “The miracle is not in what you lost, the miracle is not in what you have consumed previously, your best days are not your yesterdays, your miracles are in what you have left. If you discard it, ignore it, don’t use it, don’t value it, don’t learn from it, don’t understand it, you will lose the battle before you because you did not learn from the battle behind you. – That which remains is more valuable than that which was lost.”

He talked about us taking our scraps and using them to enable us to power through and forge ahead. To use them as our learning tools that eventually become our blessings. “Your power is not in where you are, your power is in where you’ve been” and if you don’t recognize and hold onto the place that you were once at you can not truly appreciate the place where you are now.

Bishop T.D. Jakes closed his sermon by saying to those who have been broken, that the problem is that you have not considered the scraps that God has given you. If you had considered the scraps then you would already know and trust that you are safe. That it is not what you go through, but rather how you perceive what you go through.

I am very aware of the fact that I need to learn how to appreciate the scraps of my life instead of continuing to try and bury them. True gratitude comes in the appreciation of the fact that those scraps have been the reason for more than my fair share of blessings. Like it or not those scraps are what makes me who I am. They’re what make you who you are too.

When you look back at the things that you have been through and on the lows that you have been in, you have to know that God would not have put you through those things if he did not have a plan to bring you to higher ground. Your blessings are hidden in what you’ve already experienced and been through, in the lessons that life has already been teaching you. Your blessings are hidden in the scraps of it all.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm