purpose – Page 10 – Write 2 Be

My Past is Preparation for My Future

January 21, 2014 jcladyluv

I saw a post on Facebook that had a quote that said “don’t look back, you’re not going that way”. It got me to thinking about the past and things I’ve been through, things other people have been through and how the past really does affect our lives.

It’s true that we can’t let our past hurts and tragedies alter our lives in such a way that it stunts the growth that needs to be made throughout. However, aren’t our past experiences a huge part of who we are, of what makes us stronger and more motivated, and what, all in all, equips us with lessons and oftentimes harsh realities that prepare us for the purpose that we are placed on this earth to fulfill. What we go through in our childhood, in our teenage years, in our early adulthood, they give us tools that we need to be able to deal with the long and at times tiring journey to our destination. Particularly if our past experiences are not so ideal.

There’s a saying that you can’t have a testimony without any tests, so maybe we shouldn’t be so quick to completely forget our pasts experiences. I will be the first to admit that I am an extremely emotional person and that I have allowed certain instances in my past to affect my present way too much, which inevitably affects my future. While I know that I can’t exactly forget everything that happened, I’m not even sure I can totally forgive (just yet), I do know that I need to let go a little.

I would say that I need to let go completely but those things are what makes me the person that I am and what will give me the strength to continue my journey into being who it is I am truly meant to be. Without the past I don’t know that I would be fully ready for the future that God has planned for me. So with that said, I tell you, that while you shouldn’t keep a firm grip on your past experiences, maybe you shouldn’t completely let them go because they are what is building you up to take on whatever is coming your way as you travel to your destination. Our pasts can only hinder us if we allow it to and if we allow ourselves to only remember the hurt and not the lessons that came from that hurt.

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

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If I Knew Then What I Know Now

January 16, 2014 jcladyluv

I have been seeing a lot of Facebook posts and news stories about people making notes to their younger selves, asking what they would warn their younger selves about if they could. It got me to thinking about what I would say to the younger version of me if I could somehow warn her or prepare her for the journey she will have to endure to get where it is she wants to go. I would definitely clue her in on the difficulty that she would have along the way.

If I could go back and talk to my younger self I think that I would start by telling her that her childhood and how her mother treated her did not have to be a defining factor for how her life would end up. I would tell her that while she didn’t get the love and support from her mother that she deserved and longed for, that she was still worthy of being loved and deserving of being supported in all her endeavors. I would tell her that her mother was wrong about her never having anyone that would love her or care deeply about her and that she was wrong about her not having a good future.

I think I would make sure to tell her that if no one else ever told her that she was beautiful that she needed to look in that mirror every day and let herself know that she was because in the end her opinion and God’s were the only two that mattered. I probably would tell her that she was a unique and special person and unlike any other and that she needed to carry the knowledge of that with her throughout her journey because there will be people who will make her feel like her uniqueness is somehow wrong.

I would tell my younger self to not waste so much time planning everything out and trying to force everything to go by a specific routine because the best things in her life are going to be unplanned. I would tell her that her plans for her life are nothing compared to the plans that God has for her so don’t get too upset when what she planned didn’t pan out. I would tell her that her journey is going to be full of hurdles and obstacles along the way that even though these obstacles seem like signs for you to give up, they’re just the opposite. I would let her know the that the harder the struggle the more rewarding the payoff will be.

I would open her eyes to the reality that the things that she wants out of life are not just going to happen just like that and that life is going to throw more curveballs than she believes she can handle. Then I would tell her how strong she is to have already survived the childhood that she has been through and that that is only the beginning of her story. I will get it through to her that she cannot live in her past pain because if she does she will never experience the joy she has yet to come.

When I was younger I was so in fantasy land about how my life was supposed to turn out. I thought that if I just set a plan in motion that everything would work out EXACTLY the way that I said they would. I made no room in my plans for error and mistakes. I made no allowances for curveballs and mountains that would be placed directly in my path. I gave no thought to the fact that my plans were not as big as God’s plans for me and the fact that God’s plans, whatever they are, were always going to prevail. So I guess the most important thing I would have to say I would tell my younger self is to enjoy life, enjoy the journey, embrace the struggle, and to just let go and LET GOD!

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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The Lesson I Learned From His Example

December 6, 2013 jcladyluv

“There is no passion to be found playing small—in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”

~Nelson Mandela

The world has lost a great and powerful influence and the example for how to live life free of anger, and bitterness, and the true meaning behind forgiveness. Nelson Mandela was undoubtedly strong and brave and showed a great love for his country and a great passion for the rights of people in general. However, even more remarkable than that was his ability to not only forgive but to let go.

A lot of us can forgive but the letting go, the casting it out of our mind part, is always a little harder of a task to achieve. That is not to say that Nelson Mandela ever forgot being wrongfully imprisoned for 27 years of his life, but just that he didn’t let it dictate his actions once he was released. He could have been angry, he could have been bitter and he could have been depressed because he had more than enough reason to be. But that’s not how he carried himself. He forgave the people who wronged him and he continued on fighting for the people in his country and the human rights of people in other countries as well.

It puts things in perspective when you look at the man that he was because in all of our lives, while our struggles are not to be minimized or to be treated as if they are not indeed a struggle, they are still nothing that we should let stunt our growth as human beings or our growth in fulfilling our purpose. This man sat in a prison cell for 27 years of his life and is still leaving behind such a huge legacy.

If anything, it makes me feel a little obligated. I feel obligated to live this life that we are given, for the undetermined time that we are given it, to the fullest and obligated not to waste the gifts that God has given me. I feel obligated to not waste this opportunity to fulfill the purpose that I have here on this earth.

None of us knows what tomorrow holds and I am not saying that we should not think about the future that is in store but we still have to concentrate on moving today in order to get there. I’m saying this as much to myself as I am to all of you out there. Stop worrying about what you can’t get done today and start focusing on what you can get done. Don’t waste this day on the negative thoughts running through your mind. What you do TODAY counts!

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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Stepping Out of the Shadow of Yesterday’s Mistakes and Into Today’s Opportunities

July 2, 2013 jcladyluv

“Don’t dwell on the negative. Program your mind with what God says about you and a transformation will take place.”

~Joel Osteen

We all have past regrets and past pain that we have to live with. We may have even been dealt a bad hand in life that was beyond our control that still haunts us throughout our journey. We tend to go over it in our heads about what we did, what we should have done, what we could have done differently, or what was done to us that we allowed to happen, and we get stuck in that repetitive cycle. Without realizing it, we carry that pain with us and we sometimes stay stuck in our mistakes and we end up hindering our own progress by living our lives with the thoughts of that pain and those mistakes in our minds.

We don’t mean to, but we allow our past to dictate our future in such a way that we actually hold ourselves back. We don’t want to be hurt again so we just don’t allow anyone in and we don’t trust. We don’t want to keep making that same mistake so we become overly cautious to the point of not really living. We don’t want to get rejected as we have been in the past so we just stop trying altogether. We wear those mistakes like a badge of bravery as something to take with us on our journey, something to toughen us up, and we don’t even realize that what we are really doing is settling into our regrets and reliving that past pain constantly. All this does is hold us back in our past instead of moving us forward into our future.

I know that for far too long I let my childhood and the emotional and physical abuse that I endured from my mother hold me back from moving forward. At times I even used it as an excuse for some of the big mistakes that I have made in my life. I have, at different times in my life, used what my mother put me through in my childhood as a reason that I didn’t try to achieve certain goals, all because she said I never would. I have allowed that past pain and my past mistakes to make me so cautious as to not be hurt again or to not make any more monumental mistakes that I end up missing many opportunities. It is true that I couldn’t really control what happened to me as a child but all of the choices made as an adult were mine and mine alone. I got stuck in my past and for so long it kept me from progressing towards my future.

Everyone has something that they regret and that they would go back and change if they could or a past pain that they would erase if given the chance. In order to succeed in accomplishing our goals and our dreams we can’t keep allowing ourselves to be stuck in the mistakes of our past or the pain that we’ve been put through. We have to use those things for the lessons that they are and transform those teachable moments into opportunities to grab ahold of the destiny that God has promised to us. We can’t control the things that have already been done to us but we do have the power over our own choices as to how we move forward into our future. Don’t settle into your past, there’s nothing left there anymore to go back to!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Write 2 Be Magazine is now out so please go check it out at http://write2bemagazine.com/. Also please go and join the magazine on twitter https://twitter.com/write2bemag, join the email listing for the magazine or submit a request for an author interview at Write2bemagazine@yahoo.com, and also like the Write 2 Be Magazine fan page https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine. Please help support my endeavor and my new journey and help me spread the word about Write 2 Be and its meaning.

When You Feel Your Passion is Slipping Away: 4 Ways to Reignite Your Passion for Your Craft

June 19, 2013 jcladyluv

Every now and then some (not all) writers start to feel like they may be losing their passion for the craft. It most likely isn’t because they actually don’t want to write anymore. Rather because they are stalled in the current project that they are working on. The answer is not to start separating yourself from your craft, or to give up altogether.

Yes sometimes you may need to take a small step back but make sure that it is a very tiny step and not you completely letting something you love drift away from you. I want to give some suggestions of some things that you could do to spark that passion inside of you again that you might feel is weaning.

1) Go back and read a few or all of the books that made you want to be a writer in the first place

2) Go through things that you have written in the past. Go as far back as some of the first pieces of writing that you did.

3) Watch movies that inspire you and your love of writing. Whether it is movies about writers or writing in general, or whether it is a movie that provides you with inspiration for the screenplay you want to write, something that sparks your creativity for a story line of your own.

4) Do something that fuels your creativity. Go to a museum, go to an art show, go see a play, go to a writer’s conference, or if you are into nature, just take a walk and observe the things around you.

I know that feeling when you start to question everything you thought you knew about your talent and your writing abilities. You start to feel like you aren’t as passionate about this as you used to be. You begin to wonder if the fact that your current project is stalled or that you’ve just been hit with writer’s block means you’re no longer supposed to be writing. You’re not as productive as you once were.

None of this is a reason for you to just give up on your dream. It’s a reason for you to find that spark again and reignite that passion that you had to begin with. If you are feeling a little unproductive and like your love for writing is in question, your passion is not gone. It may just be a little lost, but it can be found again. Keep going and find a way to reignite that spark.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Honoring Your Testimonies for the Stepping Stones that They Are

June 18, 2013 jcladyluv

I’ve done it more times than I can count. Not only that but I never even gave a second thought as to what it is I was really doing. I’ve wished away all of the bad things that have ever happened to me at one point of my life or another and I’ve regretted so many past mistakes that were made and wonder what if I could go back and change things. It really is no way to live, always wanting a do-over and never wanting to make one single misstep. Knowing what I know now, after much growing and lots of learning, honestly if I could I may just go back and make even more mistakes in my life, on purpose.

I know that sounds crazy. However, if you really think about it, can you really say that all of your mistakes and blunders did not get you any kind of unexpected reward or bless you in some way that you didn’t even know that you needed it. The more mistakes that you make the more life lessons that you learn and there can never be enough lessons learned in life. But most importantly, if you have lived a perfect life, a life with not one mistake and not one regret, did you really live life at all. Can you really enjoy life taking such careful steps in it that you never step out of bounds?

When I think about the not so ideal childhood that I had and all of the things that I once would have liked to forget, they were some of the toughest things I have ever been through. While they weren’t pleasant and certainly not perfect, looking back, they made me stronger and I believe now that they were a part of the preparation that I needed in order to eventually fulfill my purpose. I don’t think that I would be the person that I am now without the struggles that I went through then or even the ones that I have recently experienced.

Our mistakes, the things we regret, the obstacles that we struggle to get through, they are what builds our character. They strengthen us for the greatness that we are destined to achieve. They help to prepare us for the journey that we are on to fulfill our purpose. They provide little blessings along the way that we would have never had otherwise. So stop regretting the mistakes you’ve made in the past. Don’t treat them as events that have held you back, treat them as the stepping stones that can propel you forward. With great risks comes even greater rewards.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Sometimes You Have to Take a Step Back Just to Realize How Much You’ve Grown

June 13, 2013 jcladyluv

I realize that I have slacked off a lot lately in my writing. Or at least that is what I think until I realize that I have kept up pretty well with this blog and other articles that I am writing for other blogs and publications. Let’s not forget that I am still in school finishing up a Master’s degree so that is not to be taken lightly. I am really hard on myself. I am my own worst critic but then again I think most of us are highly critical of ourselves. But when do we ever stop to take a step back to really look at the progress that we have made.

I was talking to Ms. L. last night and we were talking about our journey’s and I was telling her that while I know that most people don’t understand certain choices that I have made, and if I am being honest some days it doesn’t make sense to me either, but I feel like the path I am walking is the one that I am meant to walk. It may be unconventional (that would be putting it mildly) and it may not be the most common sense choice (to other people who don’t have to walk in my shoes) but I just know that it is the right one.

I told Ms. L. last night that when I do reach my destiny, when I achieve the purpose that God has for me, it will all make sense and then everyone will wonder why they ever questioned my choices. Truthfully they weren’t solely my mine. They were what I was being guided to do. Knowing who I am and that what God has for me is nothing but good, I have to trust the path that I am on.

I am working on not being so harsh on myself and on the lack of productiveness that I feel is taking place within my work right now. I just have to remind myself to take a step back every once and a while. Survey everything I’ve accomplished, everything that I have been through and the person that I have grown into. I have to acknowledge that everything may not be the way I want it to be right now and I may not be in the position that I feel I should be in right now but I am right where I should be and everything is just as it should be. It’s the way God has designed it to be.

When you think you’re not doing enough, that you haven’t moved an inch, take a step back and just look at where you were compared to where you are now. I guarantee you that, even if it is small, you will see a difference!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

It’s Hard to Have Faith in the Good You Can’t See Coming

June 5, 2013 jcladyluv

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

~Jeremiah 29:11

I am not an optimistic person by nature. I have had quite a bit of bad happen in my life and typically when something good happens I find myself waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak. Being optimistic is something that I have to really work at and some days it is a lot harder then others. I wish that I was one of those glass half full type of people but for the most part I am not. It might have a lot to do with the fact that my mother always drilled it into my head that I was bad luck and that I attracted bad things in my life. I guess I’m just now realizing how much of her words actually seeped into my subconscious.

I know that “that which doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger” and while I know from experience that this is true, I’m not going to lie and say that it isn’t difficult to have faith that the good (you can’t see) is just around the corner when you’re in the moment where everything seems to be going so terribly wrong. However, I have an abundance of faith in God and in the fact that there is a reason and a purpose for everything that he does within my life. There are those moments when not knowing what those reasons are gets frustrating but I know that God only has good intentions for me and that there is nothing that he would allow me to go through if he felt I couldn’t handle it (and he seems to think I am a lot stronger than I am).

This has (so far) been one of those weeks where I have to work harder to keep that faith that things will work out. I’ve had to keep reminding myself that God has to have his reasons for putting me through this test and take it as just that, a test. I wish I knew what God had in mind but I suppose that right, it is not for me to know, but just to trust that what is meant to be in my favor will work out.

I feel better just writing this post because while writing it I have gained some perspective. Maybe my pessimism will meet my optimism somewhere in the middle and balance itself out to understand that while things seem really bad at this moment, they could be worse. I know that there are good things in my future. I also know that I am not going to always be able to see everything good that God has mapped out for me. It is something that I have to just have faith in.

I know that it is hard not to worry, believe me I know. But we have to remember that it’s all in God’s hands anyway. It is going to work out whatever way he wants it to work out. Take care and be blessed!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Are We Faking It to Our Own Detriment?

May 22, 2013 jcladyluv

There is this mantra that people have come to live by that is supposed to help motivate them to keep moving forward and not get hung up on what they haven’t achieved. “Fake it until you make it” is what people tell you to do when you are trying to achieve certain goals that you haven’t quite reached yet. So often I have been told that even if I don’t have it all together and I haven’t achieved all of the goals that I am striving towards that I should just essentially pretend that I have made it, that I have it all together, and that I am already a success even though I still have a long way to go.

It sounded like good advice and I completely understand what good intentions are meant by this mantra. I have even repeated this advice to others because I firmly believed that it was the right attitude to have. Now I’m not so sure. I mean I don’t think that you are ever supposed to lose sight of the goals and dreams that you are moving towards accomplishing but I am not so sure that faking it is the right way to really go about it.

I read a blog post last night about how the mantra of faking it could actually be the reason your message is falling on deaf ears (so to speak). It made me think, if I am trying to promote brand ME and I want people to connect to me, do I want people to get the me that I am pretending to be, that I think that they want, or do I want people to connect to the real me, the me that just doesn’t have it all together yet. If I am not being authentic, then what is the point of me trying to get my words out there and to connect with readers?

Everyone wants to be accepted for who they are, imperfections and all, but how can that be possible if we are all too busy pretending to be what it is we wish we were, what we think people want us to be. No real good comes of pretending to be someone other than yourself and it is just deceptive to think that we have to put on this false pretense. So I thought that I would real today (I try to be real most of the time but sometimes I hide behind my insecurities) and share things I don’t normally say out loud.

I am a writer, true enough, but I do not have it all together. I am not as successful as I sometimes try to pretend to be. Sometimes, frankly I am just winging it with this whole writing thing and I don’t have even half of the answers. I don’t write as much as I should. I don’t seem to have a knack for this social media thing so my name is not as well known as I had hoped it would be at this point in my life.

To be completely honest, some days I really have no idea what I am doing, I am just trying to be the best writer that I know how to be and I am trying to hold on to that passion that I have for writing. There are days when trying to focus on the business side of being a writer is so frustrating I start to think about never writing again. I question regularly, despite my saying that I know writing is my true purpose, if maybe writing has already served its purpose in my life and that maybe (and only in moments of temporary insanity do I really believe this) it is time to let it go.

I try not to admit those things even to myself so saying them here for everyone to see is hard for me but I feel better having done it. I feel like there has to be someone else out there that gets it and are just as tired as I am of pretending to be something that they are not and who understand where I am coming from. Isn’t it less pressure to just be yourself? As imperfect as you might be, even if you feel like everything is falling a part, be the best version of yourself that you can be. Let’s not fake it until we make it, let’s just make it by being real.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

I Figured Out the Real Reason I Can’t Finish My Novel

May 14, 2013 jcladyluv

I was reading an article in the Writer’s Magazine about how hard it is when you are writing something that is personal and that closely mirrors your own experiences somehow, even if it was a piece of fiction that was loosely based on your own truth. It occurred to me after reading this article that this could definitely be the reason that I can not seem to finish my current novel that I am working on.

When I think about it, I haven’t lost the passion for my current novel, I haven’t become bored with the story, I haven’t become tired of the characters, in fact it is quite frustrating that I have so much passion for this unfinished novel and yet I can not seem to actually finish it. Now granted I have many things that legitimately take up my time like being a mother, being back in school and working on my master’s degree, working on writing articles and this blog as well as publishing my magazine. However, having other responsibilities has never stopped me before in finishing something.

Sitting and thinking about it, what is really holding up the process, I am now almost convinced that it has more so to do with my next novel that I am planning to write then the actual novel I am trying to finish. My next novel (not revealing the title just yet), while fictionally written, will not just be loosely based on my own personal life, but it will actually touch on a large part of my childhood and the tumultuous relationship that I have with my mother and the emotional baggage that I have when it comes to her. Even though I am fictionalizing the story quite a bit, the premise is going to touch on a lot of emotions that I am ambiguous about dealing with.

I feel like it is a novel that I need to write to work through some things and it is one that it took me a long time to even be ready to write and I have to wonder if this stalling tactic is somehow a sign that I am not as ready to write it as I thought I was. But when I think about it, I am ready but then I’m still not sure if I really am. My first novel, The Diary: Succession of Lies, took a lot out of me to write because it was extremely personal to me as well and it also took some time for me to get through writing it because I was writing through a painful time.

One would think that to write your pain out on the page it would be simple and that it would flow like a river of water. I think that there is this myth that writing the personal stories takes less time and that it is somehow easier to do. While this may in fact be true for some there are countless stories that I have read of other writers who struggled the most on the work that was more closely related to their personal experiences. Ironically, the personal stories, or the fiction stories that are based in truth, are usually the best ones. There is heart in those stories and they become more relatable to others because someone else may be experiencing the same things that you have already gone through.

I write for many reasons but in large part because I know I can’t be the only one experiencing some of the things that I have gone through. If I can touch even just one person then I have served a purpose with my words and that is all I really want to do. In fixing what is wrong you have to first understand what the problem truly is. Now that I have identified the problem in why I am stuck in this novel and held back from starting the next, I think I can do something to change. If you are stuck maybe it’s time that you stop to figure out the real reason that has you stalled.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310