Tag: Success

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Maybe Things Would Have Been Better If…

July 17, 2012 jcladyluv

Often times I wonder (too often to actually count) if I made the right decision by choosing not to go back into the traditional work force as most single parents do and make that steady and stable income every other week. I mean let’s face it, it’s not as if I have hit it big or anything and if I want to get real honest I am not doing as well in my writing career as I thought I would be by now, or that I know I should be doing.

I think of all the things I want to buy for my daughter and the activities that I would like to put her in to enhance her creative nature that I just can’t afford right now and I wonder what the hell am I doing and I constantly wonder am I completely screwing her life up by not just accepting the fact that this just isn’t working and maybe it’s just not for me. I mean it’s not like it wouldn’t be nice to have a steady and predictable stream of income coming in that I know I can count on.

But then yesterday morning as I was getting my daughter ready for daycare (it acts as a camp during the summer) she said ‘thank you mommy’. I asked her what she was thanking me for and she replied ‘for taking such good care of me’. She said that I am always there when she needs me. She almost brought me to tears and I was so touched. She made me feel like the choice not to go back to a traditional job and stay home with her, all while still pursuing my dreams of making what I love to do my career, was totally worth it. Yesterday, just her appreciation of me, let me know that it was the right decision, for me anyway.

It is all the more motivation to let me know that I have to have less moments of procrastination and more moments of productivity because I have to make this work, I have to do what I know in my heart I was meant to do. Not just because I love doing it and it is my passion, but because being able to write and become more successful at it makes moments like yesterday with my daughter even more possible.

It would make it more of a certainty that I will continue to always be here when she needs me and that I will always take very good care of her. More importantly it will show her that you can go after your dreams and make it work even though everyone else around you may be telling you that you’re crazy for ever thinking this could work and to be more realistic. I want her to not be afraid to go after her dreams and to not have to think that going after her dreams is going to do more harm then good.

So in an effort to procrastinate less and produce more, I am going to make it a point to accomplish at least three things every week (3 is a nice workable number) to get me further along in my writing career. Whether it is actually working on my novel (which is still not finished) or just getting those query letters that I keep trying to make perfect sent out so someone can actually see them. Even if it is just gathering research for a particular project, that is still working towards the end goal of finishing that project. I think that is a goal that I can work with and actually stick to.

Until I do make things happen the way that I want them to, I have to work on tuning that voice in the back of my mind that questions if things would’ve been better if I had made another choice. Fact of the matter is that I will never know the answer to that because I chose to do me and not what someone else might have thought I should do. I’m certainly not going to become the success that I want to be by doing what everyone else thinks I should.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Oh the Obstacles We Duck and Dodge While Investing In Our Future

June 6, 2012 jcladyluv

“If you make the investment up front, the return will come back later.”

~Bishop T.D. Jakes

As writers we go through many obstacles, if we’re lucky, before ever really hitting our stride in our career (and I say our, because I am speaking my future successes into existence even though it is not quite a reality yet). We go through tons of rejection, writer’s block, having doubters and negativity with anyone who doesn’t see the vision, and often times we are our own and biggest obstacle that stands in the way.

I was just talking to Ms. L. earlier and saying that I really wish that my journey to this success that I know I am destined for could be going a lot smoother and with a few less obstacles to stumble over. But then I quickly took that back because I remembered something I heard while listening to Bishop T.D. Jakes talk about living your life on purpose. He talked about making investments in your future, in your purpose, and how sometimes our mistakes and our struggles are our investments.

They are what make our successes all the more worthwhile. He said that sometimes “what you think is working against you is actually working for you” and that “it is the digression that causes the progression”. I suppose that is what is meant when people say what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger (although it never feels like that when you’re going through whatever it is you’re going through). Our struggles are in many ways our fuel and motivation to keep going and to keep dodging those obstacles as they come.

Bishop T.D. Jakes also said that when it comes to making investments into your future “you can never reap of a dividend where you don’t make an investment—you sow first and reap later; you can’t sow and reap at the same time.” I suppose that I have to be a little more patient as I make my investments and have a little bit more faith that everything will work out the way that it should.

I can’t honestly say that all of the obstacles along my journey have not had their purpose. It may not have felt like it at that particular point in time, but looking back on them now, they all, in so many ways, served their purpose. I think that all of the struggles that we go through are simply just preparation for when our success comes to fruition. Then we’ll be able to say to anyone who has something to throw at us to bring it on because there won’t be anything that they have to hit us with that we can’t handle.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

I Never Was the Best at Juggling Too Many Balls

May 9, 2012 jcladyluv

“In truth, people can generally make time for what they choose to do; it is not really the time but the will that is lacking.”
~Sir John Lubbock

Yesterday was the first day of the first class for my Master’s Program in Psychology. I have gone through both frustration and excitement about getting back into school for months now as I went through the enrollment process. It’s something that has always been on my life goal list and that I knew I would not be satisfied had I never completed it.

My excitement faded a little as I read over the syllabus and realized just how hard this was going to be. It’s not as if I expected it to be easy, I mean it’s a Master’s program so the expectations are automatically high. I guess the doubts just hit me as I read over all that had to be tackled in just the first class alone.

I began to wonder ‘why did I sign up for this’ and ‘what exactly did I get myself into’. I started to doubt whether I can really do this successfully. But of course you know the doubts eventually go away and while I am still wondering every other minute if I can handle such an intense program, I am not a quitter and there is no way I am going to turn back now.

The one thing about going back to school that works somewhat in my favor (sometimes it works against me) is that it forces me to have to be more organized in the managing of my time. With this being the Master’s program in which I can’t get anything lower than a B (although I’m striving for all A’s), my need for being better at multi-tasking is even greater now than ever before.

Not only do I have to juggle being a single mother and a struggling writer trying to become more successful with my Freelancing career, but I have to factor in school as well. This makes me have to come up with a time management plan that absolutely has to work because I can’t afford for it to fail.

Have I mentioned I was never good at juggling, hence my inability to master the art of time management in the most recent months. I suppose that I just happen to be one of those people that work better and more effectively when I am under pressure and on some kind of deadline. Well I am definitely going to deal with many deadlines from now until the time I finish my Master’s Degree (especially since I don’t plan to set aside my writing goals). I guess I have to learn to get a lot better at my juggling skills.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Haters, Haters, Everywhere; Time Being Wasted with No Time to Spare

May 2, 2012May 2, 2012 jcladyluv

“Sometimes, people wanna tear you down. Keep in mind that it is because they want to be like you and you are so far ahead of them that to knock you down would be the only way for them to catch up to you.”

~Author Unknown

It always amazes me how the more successful a person gets, especially when they come from a tough and struggling background, the harder people go out of their way to tear them down. Last night I was on the phone with Ms. L. told and she told me the news about the four-alarm fire that broke out at Tyler Perry Studios inAtlanta,GA.

Then she read the ignorant and disgraceful comments that people were tweeting in response to the news about the fire. A lot of the comments were joking about his building being on a fire and other personal jabs that just weren’t funny and aren’t even worth me restating them.

It just made me remember how hateful and jealous people can be. It doesn’t happen all the time but too often when someone rises from their bad circumstances and makes something out of themselves, reaching a level of success that other people only imagine (unless you’re one of those people who goes beyond imagining and takes action) themselves getting to, people just get so jealous and downright mean.

I suppose that one could take into consideration the saying that the more haters that you have the more that you know you are doing something right. But I just really wish that it wouldn’t have to be that way. I wish that we didn’t have to find a way to look at people’s negative attitudes and spin them around to be something positive for us.

We are supposed to celebrate people’s successes, their rise from the struggles they had to overcome to get to the point they are at. We are supposed to be joyous for others when they succeed and not find ways to keep tearing them down in hopes that they fail. If people are so busy begrudging someone else the destiny that is due to them, it is no mystery why those same people have such a harder time than others achieving the goals and dreams that they strive for.

We are supposed to help lift people up instead of pulling them down just because we might not like where we are at that very moment. I am thankful that no one was hurt in that fire. I am also hopeful that Tyler Perry gets everything repaired fairly quickly and without delay. Not just because I think that he is a brilliantly creative being. Not even because there are so many positive messages that I get from watching his films.

But mostly because the good that he has done with his work, the success that he has achieved in which others are so hatefully envious of, is what allows him to employ 5 thousand or more people who need his success to continue. It is also the same thing that fuels him to help pull others up the ladder in their efforts to become successful.

Successful people help other people become successful too and if the haters looked at it in those terms then maybe they could learn something and maybe they could get to wherever it is they are trying to go. Time hating others success is only time that you spend wasting on the climb up to yours.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

I Always Wonder If I Made the Right Choice in Choosing My Dream

April 24, 2012 jcladyluv

“Have the courage to follow your dreams. It’s the first step towards attaining your destiny.”

~Nikita Koloff

I was reading a post on a new blog I stumbled on earlier this morning (The Write Life) and it got me thinking about all of the energy and time and money (although not enough of it) and emotions that I have put into my writing and trying to become more successful and get my name out there. It made me wonder if it has all just been a waste of time and whether or not my time would be better spent working some 9 to 5 job sitting behind some desk typing memos, making copies, and running errands for some boss that I bitch and moan about to my friends as soon as I step foot in my door.

Perhaps I should have continued to work to build up someone else’s business and continue being frustrated at the lack of time it allowed me to spend with my daughter. I certainly would have more money to my name than I do now. I certainly wouldn’t be in a state of perpetual struggle wondering what happens if I don’t have a client, or what happens if I don’t sell my books. I wouldn’t be in a position where I have to rely on my ability to be fearless (which most days isn’t present) just to be able to put my name out there and get my work seen by the right people (or people who know the right people).

If I had only chosen some other profession that held a more stable foundation and didn’t provide so much uncertainty, then I might be able to take trips to wherever I want, or throw huge wonderful birthday parties for my daughter, or buy clothes for my daughter as soon as she needs them, or not always be a month behind in paying bills. I think about the fact that I would be a lot less stressed if I just had a steady stream of income and didn’t choose to go full force at trying to make this thing happen and decide that I wanted to be an at home (or work at home) mother for my daughter.

A lot of times (more times than I would care to admit) I have those questions run through my head. Always wondering if I’m a bad mom for choosing my dream over the comfort-ability that lies in always knowing for certain when the next pay check is coming. But after all of the doubts and fears are swept away, I think about all of the time that I have had with my daughter that I would’ve had to give up and the frustration that I would have continued to feel because I wasn’t able to fully give my writing the attention it needed or deserved when I was working for someone else, and I believe that I have made the right choice, at least the right one for me.

I know that there are plenty of writers out there who do have a regular9 to 5job in which writing coincides with and I applaud them. I admire the balance that they are able to have and still maintain their sanity. I just wasn’t one of those people who could do that.

Now no one may understand my choice that I made years ago to never go back to working for someone else (at least not in fields and professions that didn’t have anything to do with my passion for writing). They may see my struggling as proof that it is not the way for them to go about it. They may (and most likely do) think that I am crazy for not choosing the certainty of knowing when the money is coming in. They may be right.

However, when I see the happiness that my daughter feels knowing that I’m going to be the one taking her to school and picking her up and helping her with her homework, I know that I must have done something right. When I see how proud she is to know her mom is a writer and being able to encourage her to follow her dreams knowing that I followed mine, it makes me feel like its all worth it; all of the uncertainty and the struggle. There will always be days when I think that I am wasting my time, where I wonder if what I’m doing really makes a difference, but I just have to remember to take a step back and look at what I have already accomplished and know in my heart that I made the best decision, for the both of us.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Writers Do More Than Just Write

April 23, 2012 jcladyluv

I think back to the days when I actually thought that being a writer only entailed writing. But we writers, we do way more than just write. I am slowly figuring out that among the many things on the list of our duties is being a public speaker. It is something that most, if not all, writers must adapt to. It is one thing that I struggle with the most.

Just the thought of being in front of people and talking about myself or my work makes me nervous and begin to feel my anxiety level rise. It’s actually funny because most people that know me would say that it is hilarious to think of me not being able to talk in front of people because I seem to be able to hold a conversation so well.

However, the reality is that being as though writing is my destiny and my purpose and I know that I have to do whatever it takes to be successful at it, I have to learn to get over my consistent state of stage fright. It’s only going to hold me back, and it’s only going to limit me from the possibilities that lie ahead of me. My opportunities reside in the extra steps that I take to get where I need to be.

It is amusing to me when someone dismisses writing as a hobby and not really being a job. When I tell people I am a writer they usually say something to the effect of, ‘oh so you don’t really have a job’. My response is (after rolling my eyes at the audacity that they would have to say that) is ‘writing is a job, why don’t you try it and tell me it isn’t work.’ What I don’t think people get is that writing is hard work.

Writers are many things. Our lists of duties extend far beyond the realm of putting words on paper. We are our own promoters and marketers, we are our own accountants (unless you’re making enough to afford one), we are editors, we are researchers, we are public speakers, we are activists, we are musicians, we are directors, we are motivators, and we are entrepreneurs. A Writer certainly does way more than just write.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

A Chance Meeting With a Message for Me About Rejection

April 13, 2012 jcladyluv

“A rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success.”

~Bo Bennett

I met someone at the Starbucks today as I sat down to the blank page of my computer screen wondering what I was going to write this post about today. She is a fellow author and I saw her come in with her box of books of her debut novel, Murder by Ice. She walked right up to the cashier at the counter and after ordering her coffee asked if she could sell her books here. I thought to myself ‘she’s not even afraid that they’ll say no, why aren’t I like that.’ She sat at the table where I was sitting as she waited for the cashier to talk to the manager and get a response back to her and we began talking.

I asked her how she gets up the nerve to do that. I promptly began to explain how hard it was for me to just get out and talk to people to get them to buy my book as I handed her the postcard for my novel, The Diary: Succession of Lies. I know funny right. I’m talking about how hard it is for me to promote myself and my book as I am whipping out the postcard for my book (I didn’t even realize what I was doing while I was doing it). She asked where my book was but it just so happened that I left the box of books at home and she immediately got on me. I explained that sometimes I just don’t feel like anyone’s going to buy it so I just don’t bring it with me.

We talked for over an hour about many different things and she asked me why I found it so easy to show my card about my book to her but can’t go out and do the same with other people. I told her that it was easy to do that with people who I knew were writers as well. Writers know the painstaking efforts we each go through, not just to write the book but to get it edited and published and selling. I told her that with other writers I feel less of a chance of getting rejected.

She said to me in essence that rejection comes with the territory of being a writer (which I am all too familiar with) but also that just because someone doesn’t buy my book right then and there that it is not necessarily rejection. Sometimes just their knowing about your book and the story it tells may make them think about it and go buy it later. However, if I never tell anyone then no one ever goes back to buy it later.

Rejection is just so scary and it, at times, makes you feel like you are not good enough. It can make you doubt yourself. I mean obviously I know that everyone is not going to always like what I write or publish it but it still stings a little (a lot actually). Well as it turns out this lady that I ran into, I already knew her. There we were talking like strangers and then realizing that I used to hang out with her daughter and that I already knew her. It was wonderful to run into her because I hadn’t seen her in so long (since I was still a teenager).

We both realized that there was a reason for both of us coming to this particular Starbucks on this particular day because I started not to go there today but in many ways something was drawing me there. Now I know that it was to run into this wonderfully, courageous, woman, who at the age of 50 (hope she wouldn’t mind me saying her age) has the nerve and fearlessness of getting out there and promoting herself and her book (her baby as she called it) and for me to be inspired by her actions.

In just the short time that I talked to her today she reminded me that rejection is nothing to be afraid of and that that fear could even make me better and work harder to accomplish what I want (and need) to get done. She said to me that we writers are pioneers of inspiration and reminded me that our stories and experiences are meant to be shared with others.

Even if everyone doesn’t get something out of your shared experiences, there’s always that one person that will. That one person will be inspired, or motivated, and take your words as lessons and advice for the steps that they take moving forward. You will be their chance meeting with a message that they never knew they were going to receive.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Cutting the Ties of Negativity That Keep Me Bound

April 12, 2012 jcladyluv

“One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn’t pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself.”

~Lucille Ball

It is important when being a writer, in business for yourself, that you have adequate support around you. People reassuring you that you will be successful and that actually believe the encouragement that they are giving you. People that you can bounce ideas off of and they get how your mind works and don’t automatically assume that you are crazy. People that don’t tear you down every chance that they get.

I think that I have built up a good circle of people who believe in my vision and what my purpose is. It may be a very small circle but it is there. The problem that I continue to come up against is the people, or person in particular, who continues to tear me down with every open shot they get.

Now I know that I am supposed to cut any negative form of energy that enters into my circle and threatens my belief in myself but family is a little harder to get rid of. Every time I get to a place where I feel confident in what I am doing and I begin to stop doubting myself (at least not on an everyday basis) this person says such negative, nasty, unsupportive things. Sometimes they just say things that are downright hateful.

I asked someone once how you are supposed to extract that negative energy from your life and your circle when they are family and you have to deal with them on a regular basis. This person told me that just because that person is your family doesn’t mean that they necessarily deserve to be treated the way people normally would treat their family. He said that if they are not living up to the title and are not giving me that emotional support that family is supposed to give one another then they are family in title only but not in their actions.

I never thought of it that way and even though I try to keep this in mind, every time I have to deal with this person (which is often because my daughter is very close to them) the negativity is just there and sometimes it seeps in my subconscious whether I want it to or not. Last night the negativity seeped in for a little while but for a writer there is typically a battle to keep out the voices of doubt, whether it is your voice or the voice of others.

I didn’t necessarily win the time and productivity battle today but every day won’t be perfect and you have to just take the good with the bad. Tomorrow will be a better day, one where I will avoid all said persons projecting negativity my way.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Being Broken Down To Be Blessed On the Way Back Up

April 10, 2012 jcladyluv

“God never intended for you to go through something and get nothing out of it.”

~Bishop T.D. Jakes

Sometimes I have days where I feel encouraged and empowered. My writing flows, my productivity is better then average and I feel like I am going to get to my destination. Then there are other days when my writing is not going as smoothly, there is no productivity and my destination seems further and further away. Those are the days that I just feel broken down. I try to think of the wise people who tell me that it’s not going to always be that way but the message never came across to me as clear as it did the other night when I was watching Oprah’s Next Chapter where she did a sit down interview with Bishop T.D. Jakes.

Now anyone who knows me well enough (either personally or through this blog) knows that I am spiritual but I am not necessarily terribly religious. Meaning I don’t necessarily believe that I have to go to a building (i.e. church) to get the word that God is trying to communicate to me. But every once and a while I will see and hear a Pastor, Preacher, or in this case Bishop say something on television that will make me wish that their church was within my reach so that I could go get that message in person.

On Oprah’s Next Chapter when Bishop T.D. Jakes told his congregation that “The blessing is in the breaking; that, which refuses to be broken refuses to be blessed; It is the breaking of life that produces the blessing of life.” I felt as if that message was meant for me. Now I know I wasn’t even there, and this was after all a repeat on TV so it wasn’t even live, but yet I felt like I was directed to watch it for a specific reason; because it’s what I needed to hear.

I always see my breaking points as my own little personal failures but I suppose the truth is that they are the foundations for my future successes. They are the models of what I need to look at so that I know not to repeat the same process that got me to that point in the first place. They are lessons for me to learn from, not mistakes for me to forever regret.

Bishop T.D. Jakes also said “The most blessed people I have ever met in my life have gone through something that broke them.” In essence, adversity breeds success and a multitude of blessings. If you look at the most successful people, they didn’t get to that place without having to be broken down at some point in their lives. Why should I be any different? Why should I expect to get to the level of success I know I am destined for without having to go through the trials and tribulations to get there?

The words I heard him speaking were so powerful and so profound and while I realize this is not the first time I have heard that message, this is the first time I have believed the words as I said them to myself. Building up any business that you want to have takes a certain amount of tenacity and drive. However, when it comes to building up a business that is centered around your love of writing and your sense of purpose, it takes guts, and courage, but most importantly belief in yourself and in the very words that you speak. The words you say are very important and you never know who your particular message might touch, giving them the strength to not stay broken so that they won’t miss their blessings.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”