Tag: Write 2 Be blog

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The Comfort Zone is Not the Place to Be

September 11, 2014 jcladyluv

In my last post I wrote about realizing once and for all that I have to let go of this fear that is paralyzing me. It got me thinking about how hard it is going to be to just shut down all of my fears. I know it’s not something that can happen overnight. I’ve had this fear lying inside me for so long whether it was fear of not succeeding or fear of actually being successful. I’ve been stuck in this comfort zone, which is odd that they call it that because it’s not actually comfortable to be stuck.

It’s not that I like how things are right now, or the lack of progress that I am seeing in my business. But there is a sense of comfort in already knowing how things are going to go. But I don’t want to live in the land of comfort anymore. I want to push the envelope and challenge myself. I don’t want things to be hard but I don’t want things to be completely easy either because I want to set higher bars for myself and rejoice when I meet them.

Comfort-ability is great for a moment but it will never sustain you on your journey to your dreams. There needs to be a shift in my life and I have to commit to this shift, this change and stay on track. I keep getting off the path because I see repeated stops to the land of comfort and on the surface it’s appealing.

In the comfort zone there are no high expectations to be met anymore. You’ve reached your current maximum potential and while it is a celebrated thing to do so, it also stirs a bit of inner conflict. You’ve reached the initial bar you set for your goals so do you maintain those particular goals and unintentionally become stagnant or do you see that bar, raise it higher once you’ve reached it, and push through until you reach the next level of your journey. I think that I inadvertently chose to stay stagnant but it most certainly was never my intention to.

I know that to reach my very big dreams that there are a lot of little goals that have to get accomplished along the way. I also realize that I can’t let fear of change whether it’s good or bad, stop me from moving forward and making progress. Change requires some manner of discomfort because you are going into the unknown. However, a change in direction could be more rewarding than staying on the road you’re most comfortable on. Being comfortable doesn’t get you anywhere close to you destination. It can only really hold you in place as your dream moves further away.

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Fear Will Not Defeat Me

September 10, 2014 jcladyluv

I admittedly was a tad bit naïve to think that this going back to basics challenge was going to allow me to somehow negate the usage of the computer completely. Obviously my research is done using the computer, my social media marketing is done with the use of the computer, and of course eventually even what I write on paper has to be typed up on the computer at some point, perfect example, this blog post. I know my plan was to go paperless for the month but I can’t get away from the computer at all. However, I have been writing more using my paper and pen and writing out ideas and plans and it was has been more than I have worked on in a while.

I am discovering things that maybe subconsciously I already realized but just didn’t want to admit to. I always knew I struggled with my fear. It can be quite paralyzing at times. And while I also knew that confidence was another issue of mine, I didn’t even factor in courage into this journey of mine and whether I have enough of it to reach my destiny. I have always said that I may not be confident in myself in regards to anything else but when it came to writing, I was confident in my ability to write.

What I realize now is that this was a lie I was telling to myself. If in fact I was as confident in my ability to write as I have always claimed to be then why do I always stop short of submitting my work and putting my work out there? As I am finding my creative spark again and having a bit of a creative breakthrough I am getting real with myself and the fact that I have to just let go of all of this fear and embrace some courage and confidence. The courage to put my work out there to as many people as humanly possible, and confidence in the fact that although everyone may not love my work, my writing is still good enough.

I have been defeated by so many people and so many things and I think that all of the defeats stacking up really started getting to me and took the fear that I’ve always had and elevated it to the level of being paralyzed by it. Most of all I am realizing that what I have been defeated by most of all is myself and my own negative thoughts swirling around inside my head. So I am going to let the fear go (it will not happen overnight) and just trust in the talent that God instilled in me and trust the purpose that he gave me and embrace everything that lies in store for the journey to my dreams, good or bad.

Yes I included the bad because I know that without the obstacles that are thrown at you along the way you may never know and tap into just how strong you really are. You can’t have a testimony to share with the world without first being tested. I am tired of letting the fear of these obstacles put me in a state of perpetual stillness and I am ready to get moving towards my destiny. I hope that none of you are stuck standing still but if you are, let’s get moving together.

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Some Things Just Can’t Be Shared

September 9, 2014 jcladyluv

“Stop telling your BIG dreams to small-minded people”

~Steve Harvey

I keep seeing the above quote by Steve Harvey pop up in my Facebook timeline as if a sign and Saturday it became so much more relevant to me. It’s interesting when people who don’t have their own business and who don’t have a childhood dream that they’re trying to bring into fruition attempt to tell someone who does what is and isn’t important. Someone actually remarked that an out of town Skate trip was more important than anything else I could possibly have had going on.

Now anyone who is friends with me on Facebook knows that I have developed a big interest in skating (roller skating) and that I really enjoy it and the people that I have met through it a lot. It’s a form of exercise for me and my daughter and it’s a big stress reliever for me when the rest of the world seems to not be going quite the way I want it to go. However, while it has become a lifestyle for others it is not my lifestyle, my lifestyle is writing and things that foster my craft and my business. I am not going to waste (and yes I said waste) money on something when my dream needs my investment.

It is a reminder (a constant one) that I can’t expect everyone to understand how important my business and my craft of writing is to me and my livelihood and my way of living. I can’t expect people who don’t have bigger goals for themselves then just the immediate present and what’s happening right now to understand the mind of a person who has outrageously big dreams that are only the beginnings of an empire.

It does get frustrating when I have to keep explaining that what’s important to others is not necessarily what is important to me but that’s where my problem lies. I shouldn’t have to explain it, in fact I don’t have to keep explaining myself. My big dreams are mine and mine alone and God gave this vision to me so I’m going to stop sharing my vision with people who are simply not like-minded and who wouldn’t understand. Some people’s vision just doesn’t fully expand and I can’t let their lack of understanding in my dream cause me to doubt my vision.

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Like-Minded Creative Types

September 3, 2014 jcladyluv

They say birds of a feather flock together and as a child that saying doesn’t appear to hold a lot of meaning. When you are a kid you think that just because the person that you have dubbed as your new best friend does things that you don’t necessarily agree with and have a few personality traits that you might learn to overlook, that it doesn’t say anything about you and the person that you are. In theory it sounds nice, and perhaps it should be that way, but the reality is that it’s not.

You don’t realize it when you’re that young because you don’t, or rather, you can’t see what other people see and you don’t have that kind of clarity when you’re younger. However, as you get older, the birds of a feather phrase starts to reveal its relevance in your life and it is more stated as place yourself around like-minded people.

As you all know I have been struggling with my creativity lately, not necessarily with coming up with ideas but mostly with the follow through of those ideas, the productivity. After a conversation the other day with a friend who I hadn’t talked to in a while, I realized that one of the problems that I might have brought on myself when it comes to my creativity issues is that that I hadn’t done a good enough job of managing the people around me.

In that conversation the other day we bounced ideas back and forth and mainly I got to discuss a lot of my ideas to someone who hadn’t really heard them before. In many ways it reinvigorated my motivation to follow through with and produce those ideas because obviously I want to see those ideas come to fruition. I felt like that conversation helped a little to pull me up out of the funk that I have been in. It was a conversation about creative ideas with another creative individual who has creative ambitions just like I do.

It also reinforced just how important it is to place yourself around people who want the same things that you do and have the same manner of ambition that you have. Of course I don’t mean the same exact ideas and goals but someone that understands where you’re coming from and that you can bounce off ideas and aspirations off of that’s not going to look at you with a blank clueless stare because they simply don’t get it, not because they aren’t capable of comprehending what you’re saying but because it’s not where their head is at so they don’t get you.

I have met some wonderful people recently, in the last year and a half or so, and they are fun people who have, admittedly helped me open up a little and somewhat come out of my hibernation shell (lol), but their ideas of what’s important aren’t my ideas of what’s important. Their idea of fun is not the same thing as my idea of fun, and their priorities are not in line with what my priorities are. They don’t get my creative side and it’s okay because that’s not their thing but it is mine.

I get tired of explaining myself and my goals and ambitions to people who frankly can’t understand those things. It makes me yearn even more for a creative network around me and I only really have a couple of people that I can express my creative self to. The number one person that I could always express those creative ideas to moved further away to North Carolina and frankly doesn’t seem to have time for me anymore, almost as if she’s forgotten our friendship. This leaves me wanting more creative people in my circle.

I am trying to make steps to interact more with creative people who can enhance my creativity even further and bring out in me things that I may be reluctant to display. That is something that I have already discovered as my month of going back to the basics in my writing has just started. It’s going to be interesting to see what else I discover in this month of simply putting pen to paper and letting the words flow.

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

A Point of Light

August 15, 2014 jcladyluv

I came across a speech that Tyler Perry made at a conference a couple of weeks ago, nothing too long but as always with anything he has to say it was extremely effective. He spoke about having and being a point of light. Of how we all have that person or those people who have a certain power to pull you out of those deep dark places that your mind can tend to go to when you are struggling along your journey to success. Or that can physically rescue you from a situation that you should no longer be in anymore. He also spoke of how we too can be that point of light for others and that maybe some of us already have been that for people and we may not even realize it. He spoke of how whatever we do in this life should have a purpose, a point, that can help others pull themselves out of that dark place.

After I finished watching his speech I thought about how I hope that I could someday be that for someone else because I could already pinpoint at least three people who have been that point of light for me. Then I thought about my blog and how, even though I am mostly just expressing my own thoughts or opinions about things, sometimes I will come across a comment that someone left me telling me how something I wrote inspired them or helped them that particular day. It gives me chills to think that I might actually be doing what I set out to do when I created my Write 2 Be brand and that all of the ideas that I have for Write 2 Be to inspire others and be a guiding point for those who are cautiously walking along the path of who they are meant to be.

The whole message of Write 2 Be is to get people to understand that you don’t have to worry about what other people or society thinks about, that you should focus on being the very best version of yourself that you can because as much as society can voice their opinion about someone doing this or that, they can’t be that person, they can’t be you. My message is strongly geared at children, particularly those who have been or are being bullied for being different, for being unique, and being special so that these future creative geniuses won’t apologize for being different and so that they don’t feel that they need to be anybody else but who they were born to be. They have that right to be whoever it is they want to be, whoever it is that God placed them on this earth to be.

So I hope that Write 2 Be will be that point of light for these young creative geniuses coming up, and even for the ones who have already created their little niche but struggle with wanting to fit in with everyone else who might not have your unique vision and perspective. I certainly think that Tyler Perry and Oprah Winfrey, and Cyrus Webb are points of light and of course my best friend who is a media mogul in the making LaMonique Hamilton. They are people who inspire me and show me that if you want something bad enough you can make your dream happen but not only that, that you can help others make their dreams happen as well just by not being afraid to fulfill your purpose and be unapologetically yourself.

So find time this weekend to honor your points of light but also to most importantly be a point of light for others. There is no other more rewarding feeling than knowing that something you did or said helped or inspired someone else, that you were the light that pulled them through, even if only part of the way!

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

When Having It All Can No Longer Masks the Pain

August 14, 2014 jcladyluv

The passing of Robin Williams on Tuesday has understandably left the world shocked and speechless. I personally felt like the world lost a little part of its magic because he was such a funny human being that brought so much joy into people’s lives. Obviously I never met him so I can’t speak to who he was with first-hand knowledge but he was one of those people that you always felt, in watching him, that you could relate to him. He was inspiring to watch and on the days when I just didn’t feel like much of anything he made me laugh.

One of the things that I am hearing most is how it could be possible that someone who made everyone around him laugh so much wasn’t happy himself. If anything good comes from his tragic death it is the open forum that it leaves for us to really take a look at what depression is. I find it striking just how many creative people, writers, comedians, actors and actresses, singers, dancers’, just creative types in general, struggle with depression. What’s even more alarming is that the majority of comedians in particular are said to be masking the reality of their inner pain with the outward satisfaction of making others pain go away with a moment’s laughter.

People don’t talk about depression, as if it is something to be ashamed of. And then there are some who just don’t take depression seriously because it is a disease that you can’t see. I know that I personally suffer from bouts of depression and feelings of hopelessness. A lot of my writing serves as my own brand of therapy to cope and sometimes it helps and others it doesn’t. There were many times in my teens and my early twenties that I just didn’t want to be here on this earth anymore and there were attempts made that weren’t successful (obviously) but it’s just never been something to talk about with people. I am only recently starting to talk to my closest friends about the depression that I suffered and that I sometimes still feel creep up inside of me when things seem to not be going right.

Talking about depression doesn’t make it go away but it certainly does help people who are dealing with it feel less alone. In talking with others you sometimes realize that you aren’t the only one who is suffering with this disease. More importantly we need to open up a discussion about it because it doesn’t just strike in adults, it oftentimes starts when you are a child. Children today are going through so much more than people realize from being bullied, to domestic violence in the home, to feeling like you just are not quite good enough. We need to stop being afraid to talk about this disease or feeling stigmatized by it.

Depression hides behind those smiles that you see on your loved one’s faces and it can be covered up with excuses of being tired or purely exhausted, or even in their loss of appetite or on the flip side that sudden urge to devour every item of food in sight because food doesn’t judge you. Depression does not just jump out at you and shout that it’s there and a lot of times the person struggling through it may not even realize that that is in fact what they are struggling with. So pay attention to your loved ones and don’t just downplay a developing pattern of behavior simply because you’re too busy to pay attention to what may really be going on.

I think that Robins Williams’ death shows us that even the most successful and seemingly happy people can have pain inside them that they can’t see their way past. Depression doesn’t just take place in a certain class, culture, or area. It is everywhere and can strike anyone. For those out there that envy the lifestyle of a celebrity (and I am guilty of this too), you should be reminded that you could be the person that seems to have it all, to have everything that would make almost anyone happy, but that does not mean that you are truly happy and that you don’t suffer. No one has to suffer from this alone. If you know someone who you think could be suffering from depression, don’t try and wait for the right moment to do something about it, there isn’t one. And if you are that person, don’t wait until it’s too late to talk to someone about it. Talking really does help.

R.I.P. Robin Williams

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

What Are You Waiting For

August 5, 2014 jcladyluv

I saw this wonderful message that was shared through Cyrus Webb’s Facebook page by Shari Alyse about waiting for things to happen in life. It made me think about how I seem to always find myself waiting for that right moment; the right moment to start my business, the right moment to publish my next book, the right moment to launch the next avenue of my business, the right moment to take my magazine into print form bi-monthly.

I realize that I could have accomplished so many things by now if I weren’t waiting for the right time to do something. We don’t get another life to live, we only have this one, and we can either spend it living or waiting for the perfect lives that we want so we can start living that perfect life. The truth is, there is no perfect life, no perfect time, no perfect situation, no perfect scenario and trying to wait until that perfect moment is just going to waste valuable time.

I’m guilty of being a perfectionist and wanting to wait until everything is aligned just right before I even start the process of trying to accomplish a task and I truly feel like that is the reason why I haven’t managed to get half of the things that I wanted done. If we want to live our best possible life then we have to do exactly that, live it. Sitting around and waiting for something to happen or for something to be right in our eyes is not living your life. It is watching everyone else around you live theirs while you’re still sitting there expecting that perfect sign to show up and let you know that you can go get started now.

What are we losing out on when we are waiting for perfect? We are missing the moment that is here now. So in your daily struggle to achieve what’s on your to-do list for this week, or this month, or this year (well the rest of this year), try not to think so much about that perfect moment that may never come. Just start where you are, right now, right in this moment!

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Putting the Mind At Rest

August 4, 2014 jcladyluv

This past weekend was a very relaxing weekend for me. Even though I had some things throw me off course last Friday and it changed up my plans for the weekend, it turned out to be what I needed. Granted there are countless things that I could have been working on and getting accomplished that quite frankly I am behind on doing. There are plans and lists that could have been made in preparation for things that are to come down the line for Write 2 Be Media that I more than likely should have been working on.

However what I used up my time doing this weekend, aside from spending time with my daughter, was watching TV for the sheer enjoyment of it (and trust me when I watch TV is not always about just enjoying the show, I usually watch it with the editor’s eye and ear—scoping out plot lines that could’ve been written better, by me) and reading my book which I never seem to be able to get the time to really read and enjoy. This weekend I made time for both but mostly the reading. I got so into my book that I almost didn’t want the week to begin because I knew that it meant that it was back to writing and working on so many other things that take me away from being able to read the way that I want to.

Nevertheless, it is Monday and that means the work begins again and the hustle, while it may have gotten halted for over the past weekend, is back on. Sometimes our minds need a break and it is not a bad thing. We can’t, despite the fact that we believe we can, be turned on ALL of the time. Meaning yes we are entrepreneurs, in charge of our own brand, our own calling, our business and obviously when you are running your own business that requires more work than just going to work for someone else but you have to have those shut off moments.

You just can’t do everything all at once, all of the time. You will burn yourself out that way and then in the end you won’t be happy because you will be too tired and burnt out to truly enjoy your success. So I ask that all of you take some time every once and a while to just shut off for a moment. It doesn’t have to be for an entire weekend like I did (even though it was only supposed to be for one day) but maybe just a day or if you are really a control freak and can’t even fathom turning your business brain off for any period of time, then just a few hours.

Do something that relaxes you and that you enjoy that doesn’t require you to think about your business (at least not constantly). Do something that you haven’t been able to do for a while because you’ve been so consumed with your business. You need that time away from your business before your business becomes something that you no longer enjoy and that’s something that you definitely don’t want. You only have this one life to live to its fullest so enjoy it.

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Success Doesn’t Come Early for Everyone…And Sometimes That’s a Good Thing

August 1, 2014 jcladyluv

I know I’m not the only person who, growing up, didn’t look at some of these child TV and music stars and think to themselves “that could or should be me” or “I’m just as good as them if not better”. Most children will say it to themselves and ten minutes later not even give it a second thought. However, if you were an artistic child, a creative type, someone who always aimed to color outside the lines simply because the lines limited the creation that you dreamt up in your mind, then you probably really meant it when you thought it. I know that I did.

I had visions of being a singer by the time I was in my early twenties (and that was at the latest) and a New York Times Best Selling Author at least by the time I turned twenty-five. With each passing year that my dream slipped by me I grew more and more doubtful of the talents that not only I thought I had but that mostly everyone around me had seen. I would look at the lives of these child stars being played out in the media for all the world to see and think I should be traveling from this place to that place and singing on this stage and that one, doing countless television appearances for my latest novel on the NY Times list and having my pick of any place I wanted to live without any worries.

Now don’t get me wrong, I was never jealous. I am always happy when I see someone succeeding (well someone deserving anyway—hey I’m not a saint and yes I do think that some do not deserve the success they have), I just happen to have always thought I should be one of them. And even when I saw child stars blowing it, royally, getting arrested, getting hooked on drugs, having issues with alcoholism, going bankrupt and just throwing away all of their money on such frivolous things, I would think they just don’t know how to appreciate what they have.

But of course you cannot be envious of everyone’s life because you don’t know what it’s like to walk in their shoes and be under the pressure that they are and to literally be under a microscope for everyone to see your mistakes. A lot of them don’t make it, they wash out, and they give up before they even hit thirty and then the public is left to wonder “where are they now”. When I think about it in those terms, I have to wonder if maybe God knew that that life was not meant for me to have at such that young of an age.

Obviously I can’t say with an absolute certainty that I wouldn’t have been humble enough to appreciate that kind of life at that early of an age but looking back, with my childhood, I definitely think that I would have had more access to some coping mechanisms that I would have more than gladly (at that time anyway) taken advantage of. I can’t say that I would have known how to handle the life I say I wanted at that time. I was very starved for things around that young age and into my twenties because at that time I hadn’t learned how to love myself yet and I thought things were going to heal what was wrong on the inside so that is probably where my money would have went. And honestly, as suicidal as I was during that time period I can’t say that I would even still be here anymore if I had gotten the lifestyle that I thought I wanted at that time.

I wasn’t humble enough to appreciate those things at that stage of my life. I think God knew exactly what he was doing and he knew that I had to heal the inside of me first before I could truly appreciate a lifestyle that was on the next level. I think that when you get to live that kind of life at such a young age and that is all that you know, then you don’t know or appreciate what it is to be without it. Success doesn’t last for everyone and when I think of all of those that have succeeded in the ways that I plan to succeed (Russell Simmons, Oprah Winfrey, Tyler Perry, Bill Gates, etc.) then I think about the fact that none of them attained success early on. They all had a humbling life before they achieved all of the success that they have now. That humble life allows them to appreciate the things and abilities that they have even more because they know what it’s like not to have them.

I think those who attained success without any effort, without any failures are actually at a disadvantage because they don’t know how to handle having nothing. They don’t know what failure feels like to appreciate the feeling of succeeding. Oftentimes we tend to want to rush into things because we see what we want to see. The outcome that we perceive may be one that is unrealistic and possibly not even going to be what is in our best interest but our perception can be clouded. I think that we sometimes need the experience of many failures to appreciate the reward that is coming down the line. Our mistakes are what breeds the foundation for our successes and when we learn to not just embrace them but to be proud of them and celebrate them then we will be even more prepared for the successes in life that we say we want.

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310