Tag: dreams

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Reminding Myself of Whose Plan This Is

April 16, 2014 jcladyluv

The last couple of weeks have been a struggle and a true test of my will to stick to my purpose and hang in there for the long haul. I had a wonderful opportunity lined up through a friend and to make a long story short the opportunity fell through and it would have been a huge stepping stone towards greater things. My first thoughts were to just give up. I wanted to quit because it just seems that lately nothing is going the way that it is supposed to and everything is completely falling apart. It seems like the walls are caving in all around me to the point where I won’t be able to climb out from underneath the rubble.

I sat and wondered why would God give me this purpose, afford me the ability to obtain the tools to carry out this purpose, and then keep removing every opportunity that could bring me closer to achieving that purpose. I don’t want to make it seem as though I would ever question God and his plan or the way that his plans come to fruition but when you are trying to do everything that you think is right but nothing seems to be working (at least not as well as you would like it to) you start to wonder a little.

I keep coming across quotes and inspirational messages that seem to be screaming at me the answers to my questions, in particular “you may not like where you are but you wouldn’t be there if God didn’t have a purpose for it” and of course my favorite “without tests there are no testimonies”. These sayings keep being brought to my attention in this period of struggle and I am reminded that my plans and Gods plans are not necessarily the same. Even if they were the same as far as the destination, he may have a completely different route planned on how I get to that end result.

What God is doing, I may not even begin to understand it until it all starts to fall into place but the toughest part is having the patience (which I strongly lack) and the faith to wait out God’s plan and not get so frustrated that I give up altogether. Now I’ve never been a quitter so I don’t think that I am going to start now but I sure would not mind seeing some sort of light (even a peek) at the end of the tunnel. However, I understand that as long as God knows where the light is at the end of that tunnel and is guiding me towards it then it doesn’t matter the path that he uses to get me there. I just have to trust that he will get me there.

I won’t lie and say that I completely understand the methods. I won’t even lie and say that I don’t wish that they could be a lot less stressful on me. While I don’t like to be in a position of struggle I understand that for some people, the struggle is a part of the journey in order for them to be a blueprint to others. So today, and every day, embrace your struggles and be proud of the tribulations that you have endured and will endure because you never know who your story is going to be a blueprint for. Stay strong and hang in there, the struggle will be worth it.

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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I Was This Close To Just Giving Up

April 9, 2014 jcladyluv

I want to give up. I want to just throw my hands up as I am knocked down by life yet again and admit that I’m just plain tired and that I don’t have any fight left in me anymore. I want to just succumb to being average and stop trying to fulfill this extraordinary shit that I thought was my damn purpose in this world. I want to just stop having faith in the future that I can’t see ahead of me because how do I even know that any of that shit is going to happen anyway, just because I believe that is what is meant for me. I want to just say my mother was right and I am never going to amount to anything. I want to just say the hell with everything because I just can’t keep trying anymore and keep continually being disappointed every time I think everything is about to turn the corner and it doesn’t.

But I was reminded by a friend yesterday (we’ll just call him Mr. J) that I can’t think that way. I can’t have a defeatist mind set. I have to just accept what has happened, or the changes that are occurring, especially the changes that aren’t good, determine the solution, and then fix the problem the best way that I can, the best way that I know how. He reminded me that you can’t just let life knock you down and then lay there and not get back up. If I were to do that, then the devil wins and he is smiling because he knows that he overpowered my will to serve out my purpose.

The devil has been extremely busy with me these past few weeks, hell months, and I’ve been told that when the devil is really busy with you, that not only means that you are doing something right but that you have a hell of a victory coming your way. If that is in fact true then my victory is going to be unbelievably sweet. It’s hard when you fall to not just want to stay down because getting back up is hard, particularly when you keep getting knocked back down before you can even catch your breath and get all the way back up.

I couldn’t have wrote this post yesterday because I felt completely defeated and everything in the first paragraph of this post was what I was feeling and what I was going to accept. However I reminded myself this morning that I am not average, nor am I meant to live anything but an extraordinary life. I am not a quitter, I am a fighter by nature and I could never look at myself in the mirror if I didn’t give this absolutely everything that I’ve got and nothing less. My mother is most certainly not right about me because I will amount to everything that God has predestined for me. And I may not have complete and total faith in mankind and the man-made obstacles that are going to fall in my path but I do have absolute faith in God and his power to remove those obstacles when he sees fit.

I would say that I picked a profession that lends nothing but struggle and rejection (at least in the beginning) to it but it was what I truly believe I was placed on this earth to do. It picked me, or should I say God picked it for me. I just had an opportunity that I felt would’ve been changed a lot of things for me, for the better, pretty much snatched away from me. It was made even worse by the fact that the friend who came to me with the project (admittedly because she knew it could possibly be a game changer for me) didn’t fight for me to stay on the project, as I felt she should have. Everyone wants to say that perhaps that was God’s way of saying that opportunity wasn’t meant for me and I’m still very far off from believing that this opportunity wasn’t meant for me but I will say that I am not going to let this new fall keep me down. It is their loss, not mine.

So if you too have been thinking about giving up this week, or this month, I am here to say I understand exactly how you feel. I also know that if you do, you will never forgive yourself and you will always be left with this feeling of what if. The wondering will end up crippling you because you will forever live in the past trying to guess what would’ve happened if you had just hung in there a little longer. Just don’t quit. Don’t give up. Keep fighting because it won’t always be this hard (I have to believe that) and on the day when everything starts to fall in place you will look back on this time period where you had the crazy notion to give up and be thankful that you didn’t. So just hang in there, the victory is coming!

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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Don’t Put a Ceiling Where No Roof Should Be

April 3, 2014 jcladyluv

I was told once (okay well more than once) that I was inspiring. I was told that my words inspired others. I suppose if I weren’t a person who had become accustomed to believing that everything someone says to me is usually a lie, I might believe them. Or at least maybe it wouldn’t have taken me so long to believe them. I got to thinking this morning, if so many people that society considers ordinary because their names are not up on billboards somewhere (yet) can inspire me and get me motivated, then why isn’t it possible that lil ole ordinary me can do the same for someone else.

It makes me more mindful of the work that I am doing, of the words that I am saying and of the persistence that I am putting into getting my goals accomplished because if I can inspire someone, anyone else, to believe in their dreams and to live by their own standards and not the standards placed on them by society, then I will be making great strides in serving the purpose that God put me here on this earth for.

I grew up being told by the one person who was supposed to always believe in me, that I was never going to be able to accomplish anything, that I was never going to reach my destiny because society was never going to let me, and because I wasn’t good enough. I had to somehow keep myself motivated and inspired, to even have the courage to go after my dreams. It’s a lot harder when you don’t have anyone inspiring you or at the very least, cheering you on. So I am glad if there is anybody that I can be an inspiration to and I embrace that responsibility with open arms.

So for any of you out there who is thinking that what they are doing doesn’t matter to anyone and that no one is watching or paying attention. Trust that there is someone that is being inspired by what you are doing, by the persistence that you are showing, by the dream that you are building up. It might even be someone like me. Never underestimate yourself, or the power of your vision, or the effect that you may be having on others. I have been underestimating myself for far too long and it is time that I stop doing that. It’s time that you stop doing it too. Stay inspired and stop putting a ceiling where no roof should be!

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Seasons Change and the Pieces Break

March 18, 2014 jcladyluv

With 3 days (maybe 4) before the official start of Spring, mother nature decides that it’s going to snow again (at least where I live anyway). Proving just how unpredictable the weather can be. Just as the weather cannot be easily predicted, even with meteorologists to scientifically decipher things, neither can people, nor circumstances.

Curveballs are thrown at people all the time and just as you think one result is going to occur, life happens and you get a completely different outcome, sometimes good and sometimes bad. It seems that I get hit with way too many curveballs for my liking, and I manage to catch a lot of them before they hit the ground, but others, especially lately, I have not managed to catch so seamlessly and they have not only dropped but shattered right in front of me.

I would like to just sit there in the puddle of my mess and just cry, let it all out, and give myself time to pick the pieces up and reassemble things again but truthfully I don’t have that kind of time to waste. And I keep thinking, what if those pieces, the one’s lying right in front of me, aren’t meant to be put back together again, at least not as they were once assembled. What if I am meant to reshape and reform the pieces to produce a completely different reality for a different outcome?

Maybe that’s where a lot of us go wrong. We keep trying to step back to what was working before and get it back to where it’s working again, not realizing that maybe it worked for that time period, but a different season may call for a different way of working. That way might have been perfect a month ago but in this moment, a month later, you may need to rethink your whole game plan.

There’s this saying that if it’s not broke then don’t fix it but sometimes things need to be broken in order for things to reshape themselves to work in a different way. True, something may not be broken, per say, but if it is not working properly, or moving you forward somehow, then is it really in working order. If all you are doing is maintaining the moment you are in then yes, it may be working in terms of the fact that you’re maintaining but shouldn’t you be progressing to that next step.

We are not meant to remain in one moment indefinitely. We can’t just stand in one place our whole lives if we expect great things, if we expect for our dreams to come true. Dreams don’t come true by standing still. We only achieve them by moving forward. So yes there are some things that may be in pieces but don’t try and put the pieces back as they once were. If they’re in pieces chances are things weren’t working the way they were supposed to. Reshape those pieces and reassemble them in a different way. Put things in working order to keep you moving forward. Be blessed and march on!

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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What Does the Term “Being A Real Writer” Mean Anyway?

March 12, 2014 jcladyluv

Some days I wonder, if I don’t write that day does it make me any less of a writer? There are those that will tell you that you must write every single day, whether it be one page, one paragraph, or even just one sentence. For years I felt that the periods of time when I was blocked and when I wasn’t able to write anything (not anything of any merit at least) that I was no longer able to consider myself a real writer. There was even a period of time, after having my first novel published, that I felt that because it didn’t do well that I wasn’t really a writer.

I often forget about the poetry book that I self-published and don’t even count that, although I should, just because at the time I didn’t really possess the tools that I needed to really be able to promote myself and my work. So throughout the years I have discounted my work (some of it anyway), and I have considered the times where I slacked off a bit as days when I wasn’t to be considered as a real writer. But who is to determine what a real writer is except for the writer themselves.

There’s this line in the movie Sister Act 2 where she told the young lady if you wake up every day and all you can think about doing is singing, then you are supposed to be singer. The same holds true for any chosen profession including writing. That is all that I think about. My craft, how I can make my writing better, how I can promote my writing and myself better, what I want my writing and my media company to be able to do for people throughout the world, what I want my words to be able to change, what story comes next, what project comes next, what I want in the bookstore/lounge that I will one day open.

Writing, many different capacities of writing, is what I eat, sleep, and breathe on a daily basis. Even if I’m not writing I am writing because I am thinking up a story in my head, a new idea for a stage play that I want to write and produce, lyrics to a song that I want to record, articles for my magazine that I might write or want to publish within my magazine, novels that I want to be turned into screenplays someday. I write in my head a lot so even when it appears that I am not writing, I am in fact writing.

So should someone say to me that because I don’t put words to paper, or type words on a computer, on a daily basis, that I am not a real writer. Because I get to do what I love to do from the comfort of my own home and make a living at it (as unsteady as it may be right now), does that make me any less of a writer? I think you are what you say you are, and even more importantly, what you prove you are and what lives in your heart.

So if there are some of you who may be experiencing writer’s block of some sort, or even if you are feeling guilty because you don’t write every single day, stop feeling guilty. There are no set rules for the profession of writing. No proven way that it works for every single writer. What works for you is what works for you and you should never let anyone else tell you that your way is wrong. It may very well be wrong for that person, but your career path is not theirs. So write in whatever fashion that you write in, in whatever time frame that you write in, without guilt and without pause. It’s your journey to travel however you see fit. Be blessed and carve out your own writer’s path!

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

If Only I Could Have All the Answers

March 11, 2014 jcladyluv

If you are not someone like J.K. Rowling, Terry McMillan, Steven King, or James Patterson, then making a substantial living as a writer can be a somewhat daunting task. Admittedly there are some writers who are just starting out at trying to make a living as a writer and have it a bit easier than others. Quite frankly there are some writers whose talent and execution of their words are not nearly good enough (not saying there is no potential for it to be) to have the success that they are having right out the gate, and yet their luck seems to be iron hot.

I don’t think of myself as the best writer out there, and I consider myself to always be working on my craft trying to make my writing better. However, I do feel like this rise to the middle ground (which for now would suffice for me) is taking quite longer than even I had expected. I know the sayings and the pep talks that people give, that I myself have given. That it takes time, you have to be patient, your time will come, you just have to keep putting in the work and everything will work itself out, etc. I know all of that but I feel like I’ve been putting in the work (I only sleep 4 hours a night), I feel like I have been patient, and I feel like my time should have already been here.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not jealous of anyone else’s success level. They give me someone to study. It’s more like I’m curious to know or be shown what I’m doing wrong and what I could be doing differently, or more efficiently. I study and research methods of others who seem to be having the success that I am trying to achieve (not moderate but rather steady stream) and I implement some of their methods (tailor made of course to my style) and still nothing. I know that no one can have all the answers but right now I sure wish that it was possible. I just want to know what I am doing wrong.

I’m trying to reach certain goals and achievements in my writing career and I am way off course in terms of the time that it’s going to take me to get there. Now of course, even with all of this frustration that you are probably gauging from this post, I am never going to give up on my dream and never going to stop working hard at attaining it. I just wish that I could see some of the fruits of my hard labor thus far. True I guess things could be worse and I could not be having any level of success at all but is it really wrong to want more. Is it wrong to want to have met my own expectations of myself by now if not exceeding them? Well I know that I can’t be the only one feeling this way so hopefully my venting has somehow helped someone else out there to realize that they are not alone in their struggles. Keep working at it, WE will get there!

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Taking Baby Steps to a Broader Horizon

March 7, 2014 jcladyluv

I was working on a pitch for a guest post yesterday (cross your finger for me that it gets accepted) and within that post one of the things that I advised readers to do was to think of all of the things that they are afraid to do, or things that they said at one point in time that they would never do and still haven’t done yet, and make it a goal this year to go out and start doing those things.

It dawned on me this morning in talking with a friend about needing to broaden my horizons and experience different places that I needed to do the same thing. There are quite a few things that I always said that I would never do, or that I thought that I couldn’t do for one reason or another, and I think that I am going to take my own advice and start doing them. Now they may not be big things (at least not yet, have to work my way up to those) but there is nothing wrong with starting small because even baby steps allow you to move forward.

There are a lot of you out there who have those little things that you always said you wouldn’t do (ex. go on a boat, go hiking, learn how to swim, etc.) but what if you going out and doing those things, even if it was just one time, is the experience you’ve been missing from your life. I mean if it’s something that you discover you don’t like then you never have to do it again but at least you can say you’ve done it. However, if it happens to be something that you find out that you love to do then it can open up a whole new world of experiences for you.

When I joined a gym (one thing I said I was never going to feel comfortable doing) a few years ago I said I was not a runner and I would never use the treadmill because I didn’t like to run (mind you I also said I didn’t like to exercise either but I love it) but when I got on it I first discovered that I could run and then, surprise of all surprises, I actually liked to run. Now how would I have ever known that if I had never just gone ahead and done it. Now I love to run (still working on the running outside part—maybe that’s something I’ll do this year) and I miss it if I don’t get to.

So take some time and make a list of all of the things that you have been ruling out thus far. Make some plans to maybe not rule them out just yet. Allow yourself to be open to the new experiences, especially the ones that scare you. Those are the ones that you will learn from the most. Have a blessed and exploratory weekend!

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Can I Really Fit In Reading A Good Book?

March 6, 2014 jcladyluv

If being a good reader is what goes into making someone a better writer then I must confess that I am not the writer that I think I am. Let me just say that I love to read, so much so that when I don’t get a chance to it hurts my heart just a little bit more with each opportunity that slips through my fingers.

After all, reading is what made me want to be a writer in the first place and it is what allowed me to enhance my abilities as a writer, learning more about crafting words, and the proper structure of them, what having the write setting and time period can do to enhance a book. I read about how important small details are to a book and how to get more in touch with my characters and who they were really portraying. With reading I even got to learn about certain things that I otherwise wouldn’t have known about and about places that I have always dreamt of going but that are not a guaranteed staple of my journey.

Having said all of that, lately, in the last few years I have not been the best reader that I can be. That last two years it seems as though I have not read at all (unless you count the fact that it took me almost a whole year to finish one book) and it saddens me. It is not because I don’t still have the desire to always have a book in my hand and take it with me wherever I go. It is because once you really thrusts yourself into being a writer, both the creative and the business sides of it, it seems like the time to read is minimal at best.

I feel like I can’t even balance the time to write and market my business, along with taking care of my daughter and making memories with her, so by the time I sit down to read anything I am so tired that I end up in the same place I started with the bookmark lying somewhere on the floor and the pages bent because I have tossed and turned all over my book.

You see it’s not as if I never make the attempt and even squeeze in what I think will be just enough time to read a chapter before I try and get some sleep. Mind you, that I wake up most mornings at 6am and don’t usually make it to bed until 2am (sometimes later) so I am operating daily on four hours of sleep. Example, I started the book I am currently reading in January with the New Year. At the most it should have only taken me a month to finish it (used to be less) but here it is March and I am still just halfway through. So does the fact that I can’t seem to squeeze in reading to my already filled up schedule mean that I am not as good of a writer as I once was? I sure hope not.

This is a reminder to all of you out there, find the time to read if you’re not already doing it. It will not only make you a better writer overall, but a better editor for those novels you have to edit, and just a better storyteller in general. Take it from someone who can’t seem to fit in a good book and who is desperately trying to find the balance so that I can, read almost as much as you write. It will make a world of a difference. Stay curious and stay captivating!

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

If I Put My All Into It Will it Really Be Enough?

March 5, 2014 jcladyluv

I’m having one of those weeks (yes I know the week isn’t over yet) where it feels like nothing I do will be enough. I’m not a very patient person and it’s something I’m working on. When I don’t see the results I want at a decent pace I get anxious about the whole process. It’s not just in my writing and my finances, but also in the area of romance (or lack thereof). This blog is not about my romantic woes so I won’t branch off too much into that except to say I feel like I could be described as the perfect person for someone and they still (somehow) wouldn’t even see me standing right in front of them.

But this blog isn’t about that though. It sort of spills over into other aspects because that love thing can be the emotion that makes you feel alive and ready to jump for joy, or ready to just go hide under the covers somewhere and wake up when someone notices all of the right things that you are doing. I know that there is always more that I can be doing (talking about writing now) but it seems like no matter how many hours of sleep I don’t get that it will never be enough. Of course that doesn’t mean that I am going to give up or slack off (okay well there’s a slight chance for slacking off here) but just wish I could see some progress. I know it’s being made and the baby steps are nice but some gigantic leaps would be a little nicer. Some major dents in my journey would be gratifying to see.

I couldn’t watch the Oscars the other night but Lupita Nyong’o’s words were posted everywhere throughout social media. “No matter where you are from your dreams are valid”. Those words and my friend Ms. L’s blog post about her acceptance speech that she will give when she gets her Oscar one day (probably sooner than even she thinks) made me think about the awards and achievements that I will one day receive (Oscar included) and what I would say and who I would speak my words to. However, at this particular moment, where I feel a little disheartened, a little discouraged, perhaps even a little less optimistic than usual about my dreams becoming a reality, all I can really think about is when am I going to start to see that light for the tunnel that’s headed that way.

It’s not as if I’m in question as to the possibility of it happening, or the fact that I still want it to happen, it’s just a matter of when. I know that my patience is probably one of the main things that I need to work on when it comes to pursuing my dream but some days, days like today, I just start to wonder if all that I am doing is good enough. Is anything I am ever going to do going to be good enough. Hopefully tomorrow I will feel a lot more definitive and sure about things but for now my lack of knowing what the outcome will be is getting the best of me. Okay ranting over with for the day, time to get back to working at making all of this happen one way or another. Stay blessed and keep hustling!

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310