What’s Wrong With Seeing the Glass as Half Full?

Glass half full

I have been called unrealistic at times. I have been called the consummate optimist. I go through things just like anyone else. I have my own personal struggles and things that seem to be working against me. I won’t lie and say that my faith doesn’t get shaken when the whole world seems to be caving in on me and yes on occasion I have fallen into depression because things got too hard for me to really deal with. However, overall, I am a person who sees that glass half full rather then choose to see the glass half empty.

But when there are people in your life who are hell bent on seeing the despair in every single situation what do you do about that? Of course the short and easy answer would be to cut them out of your lives or keep the contact with that person limited. But it’s not so easy when that person is in your family or worse, if that person is your parent. I will never understand how people in your own family can seemingly work against everything that you are trying to accomplish and I have seen people whose families are a true piece of work. A friend of mine once told me some words of advice they received from their pastor that your kin is not always your kind.

Often times the biggest obstacles that we have when we are trying to reach our goals are the very people that we are surrounded by and when it is your family it is not always so easy to separate yourself from them. I believe that in order to be successful you are eventually going to have to remove any toxic people from your life that are not for you and what you are trying to do but the process of removal is extremely difficult when it is family, particularly your parent.

My struggles are not few and they’re not even far between but I choose to see them (most days anyway) as building blocks and stepping stones towards the brightest future that’s possible for me, brighter than even I could ever imagine. Anyone who would rather see my struggles as the beginning of a downward spiral that I am not going to be able to come back from, well they can just keep their distance from me. I don’t need that kind of negative thinking to corrupt me. I battle with my own negative thoughts that pop in my mind from time to time and I don’t need to add anyone else’s.

Where is the harm in me seeing the bright side of things? Why is it that because I don’t view every setback as a complete and total failure that I am suddenly not in touch with reality. One way or the other you have to go after your dreams, even when everything seems like it’s all going down the drain. Even if that means that you can’t include the people closest to you in on that journey. If they are not for you then they are against you. There is no in between. So if you are a glass half full type of person, you are not alone. Take care and stay optimistic!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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That Inner Voice Is Telling Me Something Different

Inner voice

I stumbled upon a Joel Osteen sermon the other day and he talked about listening to that little voice or that little feeling inside us that is guiding us to what we should be doing. You know that voice. The voice that tells you when something isn’t right or the one that tells you when you should be leery of someone or a certain situation. Sometimes we ignore that voice because we think we’re just being paranoid or we just don’t want to listen to is. Well often times we don’t even realize that that little voice we hear or that feeling of uneasiness that we get that can’t be explained is God guiding us to where he wants us to go.

When I watched this message it came a day or two after a friend of mine advising me that I should basically go against what I know to be right for me so that I can be comfortable for the moment and not be in so much struggle. It came from a place of love (I hope) and not wanting to see me struggle but I keep getting this subtle feeling that that advice just isn’t what is best for me.

Yes it would make things much easier right now. It would give me some solid footing while I still tackled my end goal but in all honestly I think that comfortableness that I would then settle myself into would eventually distract me from my end game. I would get comfortable with being in that ease and that steadiness and then little by little my end goal would get further and further away. It wouldn’t disappear because it is my purpose in this world but it would become faint and a bit of a whisper.

I know myself and while I hate to struggle and would love to get to that place where I can see where all my efforts have gone to, where I can see the fruits of my labor, I need the discomfort to push me the end goal. If I were comfortable in some day to day my dreams would be pushed to the side. I know that they would because it has happened before. It was almost to the point where I never even worked on my dream because I was just trying to stay in that place of being comfortable. I can’t do that again. If I did I am almost positive that my dreams would die and I refuse to let that happen.

That little voice, that little feeling, is what is telling me that the answer to my problems is not to take the easy route, but to tough it out and persevere because the reward for my perseverance is coming. Too many times I have ignored that voice, and the consequences were great. I’m not going to ignore that voice this time. I’m toughing it out and I’m going all in. What has your inner voice been telling you? Are you listening?

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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A Dream Worth Sustaining

Dreams Wroth Sustaining

I will admit that when the going gets tough I want to get going. I don’t mean that I want to push through and hang in there either. I mean I literally just want to say I’ve had enough, I can only try so much, this must not be meant for me. However when my dream of being a writer comes into play, while I have had those feelings of giving up, my heart, my passion won’t let me.

There is nothing more rewarding in a writer’s career then to have business be doing great and everything is going the way that you want it to. The point where it is hard to be a writer, where it’s almost like you want to ask yourself what the point of it is, is when business is not going as great as you want it to be, or as great as you always envisioned it would be. You always get this picture in your mind, especially when you think of yourself as a pretty awesome writer (in which I do) that everything is going to go smoothly and fall into place just the way that it should. You imagine a booming business in which you have to turn work away because you are just so in demand. When the reality doesn’t match the vision it is difficult to deal with.

My reality, lately, has certainly not lived up to the vision that is in my mind and at times it is almost disheartening and quite frankly almost impossible to push through and keep moving forward. Nothing is going quite the way I planned but I guess if it were easy then it wouldn’t be worth it, right? This weekend I have to work out some ways to readjust my strategy and to think of other ways to turn things around. Maybe all the extra sleep I’ve caught up on this week was to allow me to spend my weekend strategizing until I find something that works. I don’t know what that will be but I know that I haven’t come this far to give up now.

No matter how many steps forward I feel I should be, one thing is for sure, I am much further along in my journey than I would be if I had given up a long time ago. I found this inspirational video done by Morris Chestnut on declaring your dreams that I think will help motivate me through my weekend. Hopefully it will help motivate you through yours as well. Take care and hustle hard!

Jimmetta Carpenter

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Reminding Myself of Whose Plan This Is

God's plan my plan 2

The last couple of weeks have been a struggle and a true test of my will to stick to my purpose and hang in there for the long haul. I had a wonderful opportunity lined up through a friend and to make a long story short the opportunity fell through and it would have been a huge stepping stone towards greater things. My first thoughts were to just give up. I wanted to quit because it just seems that lately nothing is going the way that it is supposed to and everything is completely falling apart. It seems like the walls are caving in all around me to the point where I won’t be able to climb out from underneath the rubble.

I sat and wondered why would God give me this purpose, afford me the ability to obtain the tools to carry out this purpose, and then keep removing every opportunity that could bring me closer to achieving that purpose. I don’t want to make it seem as though I would ever question God and his plan or the way that his plans come to fruition but when you are trying to do everything that you think is right but nothing seems to be working (at least not as well as you would like it to) you start to wonder a little.

I keep coming across quotes and inspirational messages that seem to be screaming at me the answers to my questions, in particular “you may not like where you are but you wouldn’t be there if God didn’t have a purpose for it” and of course my favorite “without tests there are no testimonies”. These sayings keep being brought to my attention in this period of struggle and I am reminded that my plans and Gods plans are not necessarily the same. Even if they were the same as far as the destination, he may have a completely different route planned on how I get to that end result.

What God is doing, I may not even begin to understand it until it all starts to fall into place but the toughest part is having the patience (which I strongly lack) and the faith to wait out God’s plan and not get so frustrated that I give up altogether. Now I’ve never been a quitter so I don’t think that I am going to start now but I sure would not mind seeing some sort of light (even a peek) at the end of the tunnel. However, I understand that as long as God knows where the light is at the end of that tunnel and is guiding me towards it then it doesn’t matter the path that he uses to get me there. I just have to trust that he will get me there.

I won’t lie and say that I completely understand the methods. I won’t even lie and say that I don’t wish that they could be a lot less stressful on me. While I don’t like to be in a position of struggle I understand that for some people, the struggle is a part of the journey in order for them to be a blueprint to others. So today, and every day, embrace your struggles and be proud of the tribulations that you have endured and will endure because you never know who your story is going to be a blueprint for. Stay strong and hang in there, the struggle will be worth it.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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I Was This Close To Just Giving Up

Was going to give up 2

I want to give up. I want to just throw my hands up as I am knocked down by life yet again and admit that I’m just plain tired and that I don’t have any fight left in me anymore. I want to just succumb to being average and stop trying to fulfill this extraordinary shit that I thought was my damn purpose in this world. I want to just stop having faith in the future that I can’t see ahead of me because how do I even know that any of that shit is going to happen anyway, just because I believe that is what is meant for me. I want to just say my mother was right and I am never going to amount to anything. I want to just say the hell with everything because I just can’t keep trying anymore and keep continually being disappointed every time I think everything is about to turn the corner and it doesn’t.

But I was reminded by a friend yesterday (we’ll just call him Mr. J) that I can’t think that way. I can’t have a defeatist mind set. I have to just accept what has happened, or the changes that are occurring, especially the changes that aren’t good, determine the solution, and then fix the problem the best way that I can, the best way that I know how. He reminded me that you can’t just let life knock you down and then lay there and not get back up. If I were to do that, then the devil wins and he is smiling because he knows that he overpowered my will to serve out my purpose.

The devil has been extremely busy with me these past few weeks, hell months, and I’ve been told that when the devil is really busy with you, that not only means that you are doing something right but that you have a hell of a victory coming your way. If that is in fact true then my victory is going to be unbelievably sweet. It’s hard when you fall to not just want to stay down because getting back up is hard, particularly when you keep getting knocked back down before you can even catch your breath and get all the way back up.

I couldn’t have wrote this post yesterday because I felt completely defeated and everything in the first paragraph of this post was what I was feeling and what I was going to accept. However I reminded myself this morning that I am not average, nor am I meant to live anything but an extraordinary life. I am not a quitter, I am a fighter by nature and I could never look at myself in the mirror if I didn’t give this absolutely everything that I’ve got and nothing less. My mother is most certainly not right about me because I will amount to everything that God has predestined for me. And I may not have complete and total faith in mankind and the man-made obstacles that are going to fall in my path but I do have absolute faith in God and his power to remove those obstacles when he sees fit.

I would say that I picked a profession that lends nothing but struggle and rejection (at least in the beginning) to it but it was what I truly believe I was placed on this earth to do. It picked me, or should I say God picked it for me. I just had an opportunity that I felt would’ve been changed a lot of things for me, for the better, pretty much snatched away from me. It was made even worse by the fact that the friend who came to me with the project (admittedly because she knew it could possibly be a game changer for me) didn’t fight for me to stay on the project, as I felt she should have. Everyone wants to say that perhaps that was God’s way of saying that opportunity wasn’t meant for me and I’m still very far off from believing that this opportunity wasn’t meant for me but I will say that I am not going to let this new fall keep me down. It is their loss, not mine.

So if you too have been thinking about giving up this week, or this month, I am here to say I understand exactly how you feel. I also know that if you do, you will never forgive yourself and you will always be left with this feeling of what if. The wondering will end up crippling you because you will forever live in the past trying to guess what would’ve happened if you had just hung in there a little longer. Just don’t quit. Don’t give up. Keep fighting because it won’t always be this hard (I have to believe that) and on the day when everything starts to fall in place you will look back on this time period where you had the crazy notion to give up and be thankful that you didn’t. So just hang in there, the victory is coming!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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Don’t Put a Ceiling Where No Roof Should Be

no ceiling 2

I was told once (okay well more than once) that I was inspiring. I was told that my words inspired others. I suppose if I weren’t a person who had become accustomed to believing that everything someone says to me is usually a lie, I might believe them. Or at least maybe it wouldn’t have taken me so long to believe them. I got to thinking this morning, if so many people that society considers ordinary because their names are not up on billboards somewhere (yet) can inspire me and get me motivated, then why isn’t it possible that lil ole ordinary me can do the same for someone else.

It makes me more mindful of the work that I am doing, of the words that I am saying and of the persistence that I am putting into getting my goals accomplished because if I can inspire someone, anyone else, to believe in their dreams and to live by their own standards and not the standards placed on them by society, then I will be making great strides in serving the purpose that God put me here on this earth for.

I grew up being told by the one person who was supposed to always believe in me, that I was never going to be able to accomplish anything, that I was never going to reach my destiny because society was never going to let me, and because I wasn’t good enough. I had to somehow keep myself motivated and inspired, to even have the courage to go after my dreams. It’s a lot harder when you don’t have anyone inspiring you or at the very least, cheering you on. So I am glad if there is anybody that I can be an inspiration to and I embrace that responsibility with open arms.

So for any of you out there who is thinking that what they are doing doesn’t matter to anyone and that no one is watching or paying attention. Trust that there is someone that is being inspired by what you are doing, by the persistence that you are showing, by the dream that you are building up. It might even be someone like me. Never underestimate yourself, or the power of your vision, or the effect that you may be having on others. I have been underestimating myself for far too long and it is time that I stop doing that. It’s time that you stop doing it too. Stay inspired and stop putting a ceiling where no roof should be!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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Seasons Change and the Pieces Break

broken pieces 2

With 3 days (maybe 4) before the official start of Spring, mother nature decides that it’s going to snow again (at least where I live anyway).  Proving just how unpredictable the weather can be.  Just as the weather cannot be easily predicted, even with meteorologists to scientifically decipher things, neither can people, nor circumstances.

Curveballs are thrown at people all the time and just as you think one result is going to occur, life happens and you get a completely different outcome, sometimes good and sometimes bad.  It seems that I get hit with way too many curveballs for my liking, and I manage to catch a lot of them before they hit the ground, but others, especially lately, I have not managed to catch so seamlessly and they have not only dropped but shattered right in front of me.

I would like to just sit there in the puddle of my mess and just cry, let it all out, and give myself time to pick the pieces up and reassemble things again but truthfully I don’t have that kind of time to waste.  And I keep thinking, what if those pieces, the one’s lying right in front of me, aren’t meant to be put back together again, at least not as they were once assembled.  What if I am meant to reshape and reform the pieces to produce a completely different reality for a different outcome?

Maybe that’s where a lot of us go wrong.  We keep trying to step back to what was working before and get it back to where it’s working again, not realizing that maybe it worked for that time period, but a different season may call for a different way of working.  That way might have been perfect a month ago but in this moment, a month later, you may need to rethink your whole game plan.

There’s this saying that if it’s not broke then don’t fix it but sometimes things need to be broken in order for things to reshape themselves to work in a different way.  True, something may not be broken, per say, but if it is not working properly, or moving you forward somehow, then is it really in working order.  If all you are doing is maintaining the moment you are in then yes, it may be working in terms of the fact that you’re maintaining but shouldn’t you be progressing to that next step.

We are not meant to remain in one moment indefinitely.  We can’t just stand in one place our whole lives if we expect great things, if we expect for our dreams to come true.  Dreams don’t come true by standing still.  We only achieve them by moving forward.  So yes there are some things that may be in pieces but don’t try and put the pieces back as they once were.  If they’re in pieces chances are things weren’t working the way they were supposed to.  Reshape those pieces and reassemble them in a different way.  Put things in working order to keep you moving forward.  Be blessed and march on!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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What Does the Term “Being A Real Writer” Mean Anyway?

Are you a real writer

Some days I wonder, if I don’t write that day does it make me any less of a writer?  There are those that will tell you that you must write every single day, whether it be one page, one paragraph, or even just one sentence.  For years I felt that the periods of time when I was blocked and when I wasn’t able to write anything (not anything of any merit at least) that I was no longer able to consider myself a real writer.  There was even a period of time, after having my first novel published, that I felt that because it didn’t do well that I wasn’t really a writer.

I often forget about the poetry book that I self-published and don’t even count that, although I should, just because at the time I didn’t really possess the tools that I needed to really be able to promote myself and my work.  So throughout the years I have discounted my work (some of it anyway), and I have considered the times where I slacked off a bit as days when I wasn’t to be considered as a real writer.  But who is to determine what a real writer is except for the writer themselves.

There’s this line in the movie Sister Act 2 where she told the young lady if you wake up every day and all you can think about doing is singing, then you are supposed to be singer.  The same holds true for any chosen profession including writing.  That is all that I think about.  My craft, how I can make my writing better, how I can promote my writing and myself better, what I want my writing and my media company to be able to do for people throughout the world, what I want my words to be able to change, what story comes next, what project comes next, what I want in the bookstore/lounge that I will one day open.

Writing, many different capacities of writing, is what I eat, sleep, and breathe on a daily basis.  Even if I’m not writing I am writing because I am thinking up a story in my head, a new idea for a stage play that I want to write and produce, lyrics to a song that I want to record, articles for my magazine that I might write or want to publish within my magazine, novels that I want to be turned into screenplays someday.  I write in my head a lot so even when it appears that I am not writing, I am in fact writing.

So should someone say to me that because I don’t put words to paper, or type words on a computer, on a daily basis, that I am not a real writer.  Because I get to do what I love to do from the comfort of my own home and make a living at it (as unsteady as it may be right now), does that make me any less of a writer?  I think you are what you say you are, and even more importantly, what you prove you are and what lives in your heart.

So if there are some of you who may be experiencing writer’s block of some sort, or even if you are feeling guilty because you don’t write every single day, stop feeling guilty.  There are no set rules for the profession of writing.  No proven way that it works for every single writer.  What works for you is what works for you and you should never let anyone else tell you that your way is wrong.  It may very well be wrong for that person, but your career path is not theirs.  So write in whatever fashion that you write in, in whatever time frame that you write in, without guilt and without pause.  It’s your journey to travel however you see fit.  Be blessed and carve out your own writer’s path!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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If Only I Could Have All the Answers

Having all the answers

If you are not someone like J.K. Rowling, Terry McMillan, Steven King, or James Patterson, then making a substantial living as a writer can be a somewhat daunting task.  Admittedly there are some writers who are just starting out at trying to make a living as a writer and have it a bit easier than others.  Quite frankly there are some writers whose talent and execution of their words are not nearly good enough (not saying there is no potential for it to be) to have the success that they are having right out the gate, and yet their luck seems to be iron hot.

I don’t think of myself as the best writer out there, and I consider myself to always be working on my craft trying to make my writing better.  However, I do feel like this rise to the middle ground (which for now would suffice for me) is taking quite longer than even I had expected.  I know the sayings and the pep talks that people give, that I myself have given.  That it takes time, you have to be patient, your time will come, you just have to keep putting in the work and everything will work itself out, etc.  I know all of that but I feel like I’ve been putting in the work (I only sleep 4 hours a night), I feel like I have been patient, and I feel like my time should have already been here.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not jealous of anyone else’s success level. They give me someone to study.  It’s more like I’m curious to know or be shown what I’m doing wrong and what I could be doing differently, or more efficiently.  I study and research methods of others who seem to be having the success that I am trying to achieve (not moderate but rather steady stream) and I implement some of their methods (tailor made of course to my style) and still nothing.  I know that no one can have all the answers but right now I sure wish that it was possible.  I just want to know what I am doing wrong.

I’m trying to reach certain goals and achievements in my writing career and I am way off course in terms of the time that it’s going to take me to get there.  Now of course, even with all of this frustration that you are probably gauging from this post, I am never going to give up on my dream and never going to stop working hard at attaining it.  I just wish that I could see some of the fruits of my hard labor thus far.  True I guess things could be worse and I could not be having any level of success at all but is it really wrong to want more.  Is it wrong to want to have met my own expectations of myself by now if not exceeding them?  Well I know that I can’t be the only one feeling this way so hopefully my venting has somehow helped someone else out there to realize that they are not alone in their struggles.  Keep working at it, WE will get there!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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Taking Baby Steps to a Broader Horizon

Baby steps broader horizon 2

I was working on a pitch for a guest post yesterday (cross your finger for me that it gets accepted) and within that post one of the things that I advised readers to do was to think of all of the things that they are afraid to do, or things that they said at one point in time that they would never do and still haven’t done yet, and make it a goal this year to go out and start doing those things.

It dawned on me this morning in talking with a friend about needing to broaden my horizons and experience different places that I needed to do the same thing.  There are quite a few things that I always said that I would never do, or that I thought that I couldn’t do for one reason or another, and I think that I am going to take my own advice and start doing them.  Now they may not be big things (at least not yet, have to work my way up to those) but there is nothing wrong with starting small because even baby steps allow you to move forward.

There are a lot of you out there who have those little things that you always said you wouldn’t do (ex. go on a boat, go hiking, learn how to swim, etc.) but what if you going out and doing those things, even if it was just one time, is the experience you’ve been missing from your life.  I mean if it’s something that you discover you don’t like then you never have to do it again but at least you can say you’ve done it.  However, if it happens to be something that you find out that you love to do then it can open up a whole new world of experiences for you.

When I joined a gym (one thing I said I was never going to feel comfortable doing) a few years ago I said I was not a runner and I would never use the treadmill because I didn’t like to run (mind you I also said I didn’t like to exercise either but I love it) but when I got on it I first discovered that I could run and then, surprise of all surprises, I actually liked to run.  Now how would I have ever known that if I had never just gone ahead and done it.  Now I love to run (still working on the running outside part—maybe that’s something I’ll do this year) and I miss it if I don’t get to.

So take some time and make a list of all of the things that you have been ruling out thus far.  Make some plans to maybe not rule them out just yet.  Allow yourself to be open to the new experiences, especially the ones that scare you.  Those are the ones that you will learn from the most.  Have a blessed and exploratory weekend!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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