Tag: dreams

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Even an Icon Like Oprah Can Have Fear

April 2, 2012 jcladyluv

“The thing you fear most has no power. Your fear of it is what has the power. Facing the truth really will set you free.”

~Oprah Winfrey

This morning Oprah was on the CBS This Morning show and she was promoting her network, OWN. She talked about a lot of different things but one thing that struck me was when she admitted that if she knew then (when starting the network) what she knows now she probably wouldn’t have done it (or at least not at the time that she did it). She acknowledged that when she launched her network she was not ready. In fact that was one of the lessons that she took away from her process of starting the network, that you shouldn’t launch something just because you already gave a date to everyone else if you are not ready to.

That was both shocking and admirable to me and just made me want to model my business sense (that I am still trying to mold) after the road she has already paved for the women coming after her even more. She spoke of the critics in the press who have criticized her brave but somewhat dismal start to her cable network, and one headline, “Oprah not quite standing on her OWN”, that she tries not to let dictate whether she is in fact succeeding or failing at her new endeavor. In her words, “it’s just press”. She said that because you fail at something (which her network is in no way failing) doesn’t mean that you are a failure.

It made me start to think about that good old fear of failure that I can’t seem to shake for the life of me. Why am I so afraid to fail? It’s not as if my failing at any given thing would mean that it’s the end of the road for me and my dreams. In my heart I know this but my head (or perhaps that little devilish angel sitting on my shoulder) keeps telling me that if I fail even one more time at something then that’s it, I’m just destined to be a failure. If only I could shake that demon trying to creep its way into my subconscious every time I think I’m going to get somewhere. But maybe that’s just it. Maybe it creeps in because I am getting somewhere.

My best friend, Ms. L. always says that when everything starts to begin to go wrong that she knows she must be doing something right. She says that it just means that the devil is working overtime to stop the progress she is making. And look at Ms. L., she just launched her magazine, PIEhole (of which I have an article in) and it’s taken off better than I think even she expected it to (although I knew it would). Although she never acknowledged being afraid as often as she probably was, she never let that fear stop her.

Hell, if Oprah can have the courage to admit that she was afraid of something (because it seems that she just does this stuff so fearlessly) but that she pressed on anyway, then why couldn’t that be my story down the line as well? I know that I would never want to be doing anything else and I truly feel as though God instilled in me this specific purpose and I owe it to him, if not myself, to see that purpose through. As Oprah also said in her interview, “There’s never going to be a time to quit. I will die in the midst of doing what I love to do and that is using my voice and using my life to try to inspire other people to live the best of theirs.”

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

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http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Reigniting an Old Flame

March 26, 2012 jcladyluv

“Putting off an easy thing makes it hard. Putting off a hard thing makes it impossible.”

~George Claude Lorimer

I listened to Ms. L. the other day as she talked about the series of articles that she just had published in her city’s local newspaper and the projects that she has coming up (let me add, paying projects), and how she is really starting to make some pretty good income with her writing just as she wanted to do with her business. Just as we both had hoped to do with our businesses. She is beginning to flourish and I am really proud of her. But honestly I am a tad bit jealous as well (but not in the bad way). It’s not that I don’t want her to succeed but I just wish that I was flourishing just as much as her, alongside her.

When I listen to her and hear her talk about her daily activities and just how productive she has been I see the same fire lit under her and the same drive inside of her that I used to have. She’s always on the go and pulling all-nighters and I can remember when I used to be the same way. My drive was so intense that I barely slept and I would skip meals just so that I could work on my writing. I have no idea when that fire in me started to die down. I didn’t mean for it to.

I know that I haven’t loss my passion for writing or for any of the things that I hope to do with my writing and my media company that I am currently trying to build up. I have a multitude of plans and my brain is constantly turning with more and more ideas by the hour, sometimes by the minute. But yet when it comes to actually executing those ideas and plans, after I’ve done all of the normal things that need to be done during my day, I sit down and the act of execution on those plans falls by the waist-side. I get tired and at times I accidentally fall asleep without ever tackling any of the things on my to-do list.

I don’t mean to be such a full blown procrastinator and I certainly don’t mean to have a head (and notebook) full of plans and ideas and never accomplishing even a tenth of them. I wish I had an explanation (at least a good one) for falling down on the job of making my dreams happen and I wish I understood why my drive and my fire isn’t naturally there the way it used to be, but I don’t. All I know is that this week I plan to get it together because I will only have myself to blame if I fail and no one else can make this happen for me.

I suppose I will just have to do what people do when they go to start their stove and they hear the clicking sound but yet the fire doesn’t immediately come on like it used to. They don’t just stop cooking their food, they go light a match or a lighter and get the fire started again themselves. I know that I still love what I do and I know I still have the passion for it and now I am just going to find a way to reignite the fire so that my dreams don’t burn out too. If any of you out there are feeling like the biggest procrastinator in the world, you are not alone and it does not have to stay that way. The flame can always be reignited, even if it has to be done manually.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Seeing Yourself Through Someone Else’s Eyes

March 8, 2012 jcladyluv

“Sometimes you can’t see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.”

~Ellen DeGeneres

It is really nice when you have someone that believes in you enough for the both of you. I discovered that I had someone else in my corner today, someone that’s always been in my corner but I guess I just didn’t really see it. My friend (we’ll just call him Mr. C.) was very motivating for me today. He spoke about me and my dreams the way that I had expressed them to him and made me reenergized about them again. I was starting to believe that it was just too late for me to take my brand and my name and become the success that I had always dreamed of being. Today when I saw myself through his eyes, the way he said he saw things, I felt like I had already accomplished so much.

He reminded me of all of the plans that I had laid out to him around the time that we first met and pinpointed all of the goals that I had actually managed to accomplish thus far. I don’t really know why I hadn’t realized that I am not exactly at the starting point, but rather somewhere ahead of the halfway point. I know that Ms. L. is going to read this and say ‘I told you all of that stuff already’ and it’s not that I didn’t hear her but hearing it from someone who I didn’t realize was paying attention somehow has a different affect. I knew that Mr. C. had confidence in me and that he thought I was capable of many things, but I never saw just how fiercely he believed in me.

It’s always interesting to see yourself through someone else’s eyes because a lot of the times you find that you are only seeing what hasn’t been done when they are looking at the bigger picture. They are looking at what your goals were to begin with, and what strides you have already made towards those goals, and they see the potential of you finishing those goals. I don’t know why it sometimes seems so hard for me to look at myself and my life the way that others seem to see it but I am starting to get the message now.

If I keep stopping at every bench mark on my roadmap of success and picking apart everything that I had already done and diminishing it into being nothing then that’s what it will amount to, nothing. Holding up someone else’s mirror to your life is very revealing and meaningful because you can’t always see what someone else sees. Sometimes it takes the vision of someone else to make clear to you that you are on the right path.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

If You Want it Bad Enough, You Have to Work Hard to Get It

February 29, 2012 jcladyluv

“The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.”

~Emile Zola

When I was at the gym this morning I overheard a basketball coach giving two of the young boys that he coaches a lecture on practicing their skills. He was telling them that they can’t just expect to become pro-basketball players without actually putting in the work to get there. He was saying to his assistant coach that children just expect to wake up and automatically become what they want to be without putting in the time, the effort and the hard work it takes to get there. I listened on as he spoke to them and I saw the young boys in there beginning to practice as he was lecturing them so clearly some of what he was saying was starting to sink in.

As I continued to listen on I thought about the fact that it isn’t always just children who forget that things that are worth having, you have to work hard for. Sometimes we adults forget that too. We sometimes rely so heavily on the natural talent that we have to do whatever gifts we were blessed with that we forget that even with natural talent, there is skill involved and those skills have to be continuously exercised. If we don’t practice our skill set, that talent can eventually fade away.

We can’t continue to take our skills for granted and believe that no matter what they will always be there for us to use when we get around to putting in the hard work that it takes to make them work for us. Basketball players don’t just wake up able to play basketball. Sure they may have had the natural talent to shoot a ball in a hoop when they were younger but there would have been no chance of them making it to the NBA without continuously practicing that skill. Had they not put in the hard work those skills would have just faded away.

I’ve heard it said so many times by writers or singers or actors or athletes that it comes natural to them, and yet they still profess how much hard work their natural talent takes. They take workshops to keep their words fresh, they have vocal coaches to keep their voice in tact, or they take ongoing acting classes to keep their acting skills on point, or they practice on a regular basis to keep their reflexes sharp. Yes they may have this natural ability but they work hard at maintaining those abilities so that they don’t lose them.

The same goes for anyone else out there trying to become successful at whatever it is that comes natural to them. We all have something that we were born to do. Now we just have to put in the hard work at practicing those skills to develop the success that we know we want. So take some time to think whether or not you are really putting in the practice at making your skills work for you. If you know you could be doing more then start now. Practice equals progression!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

What to Do When the Investment Wasn’t Made

February 28, 2012 jcladyluv

“Don’t find fault, find a remedy.”

~Henry Ford

Yesterday I talked about parents needing to make investments in their children’s future and I spoke about the investment that wasn’t made in me by my own mother. Well today I wanted to speak to those out there who were not supported by the people around them. I wanted to make clear that just because you were not given the encouragement that you should’ve been when you were starting to realize your gift’s does not mean that your gift should be lost and never developed.

This is where we now have to remind ourselves not to dwell on what was not given to us and focus on what we have to give of ourselves. When we are not lifted up by the ones who are supposed to be there for us then it is up to us to be driven enough to enhance our own abilities. It is up to us to believe in ourselves enough to make our dreams come true anyway, in spite of those who told you that you couldn’t.

Now that you are at whatever point you are in within your career and your life, you can no longer play the blame game (yes that goes for me too). Sure there will be days when you will naturally think about what could’ve been and that’s okay for about five seconds. But then you have to (and this is going to be the hard part to do) get over it and move on.

If you don’t make the choice now, to do whatever it takes to sustain yourself in your career, the blame falls solely on you. Once you reach a certain age and point in life, it is no one else’s responsibility to lift you up and help you rise to the level of success that you want but you. There will still be people along the way that can help you but you have to put yourself in the position to be in contact with those people. You have to make all of the tough decisions. You have to stop procrastinating and get moving. You have to stop complaining about what never was and create what could still be. Make your dreams count and know that you are worth the investment.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Making Investments in Our Future

February 27, 2012 jcladyluv

“There is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future in.”

~Graham Greene

I watched the Oscars last night and I thought about all of the awards shows that we as writers and artists’ watch throughout the years and all of the acceptance speeches that we hear. It is extremely rare not to hear an actress, actor, writer, director, singer, songwriter, or visual artists’ (graphic or otherwise) thank their parents for allowing them to be who they are and for not only encouraging their gifts but for also enhancing it by being supportive of that talent.

I started thinking about the children whose gifts and talents are not acknowledged, let alone encouraged by their parents. All of the gifts and blessings for the world that are not being realized because there is no one there to tell them that it’s okay to dream and dream big. I was one of those children.

When I watch those awards shows I can’t help but to think of whether I could’ve been one of those artists accepting an award for their brilliant talents if only I had a mother that encouraged or enhanced my gifts, or at the very least, acknowledged that I had any. I know that I’ve mentioned here before that my mother was (to put it in nice terms) not very nurturing. She never really believed in me and to this day it still hurts.

I do feel that when she heard me singing around the house and heard other people who didn’t have to placate me tell her that I was actually good at it, that she perhaps could have invested in some voice lessons, or piano lessons for me. Maybe when I wrote the class poem for my eighth grade graduation and my teachers all told my her that she had a very gifted writer on her hands, she could have put me in writing workshops that they had for children (and they had them, I checked). Or maybe when I sent a poem to a songwriting contest and received a letter saying that they wanted to turn my poem into a song, however, they needed to deal with my mother contractually (because I was still a minor), she could’ve done what she needed to do as my mother to make it into a reality. She could have actually invested in my gifts when I was younger but she didn’t.

While I know that I can not jet off back into time and change what never was, I am left to constantly wonder what could have been. Most days I don’t dwell on it. But on nights like last night when I see people accepting their awards and whose parents clearly believed in them enough for them to get where they are now, I get a little resentful (as much as I hate to admit that) towards my mother.

But that is when I just turn that resentfulness into a persistent desire to make sure that I am different with my daughter. I want to make sure that I encourage her creative talents, enhance her gifts by supporting and investing in them, and empower her to believe that she can do and be whatever it is that she dreams she can be. I want her to know that I believe in her and that I know her future is worth the investment.

If we as parents do not invest in our children’s future where are they supposed to get the idea that their future is worth investing in to begin with. It starts with us and if we see brilliance in our children it is our job and our duty to help them develop and cultivate their gifts. They are our future and we have to make investments, not just in the stock markets and the next big business venture (not that our own careers are not important as well), but we have to invest in them too because their future is worth it. They are our future Grammy, Golden Globe, or even Oscar winners and we have to help them get there. Don’t wait until tomorrow to make an investment in your child’s future, do it today!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

The Questions We Ask Ourselves, and God (Part 4): How Do I Know I’m On the Right Path?

February 16, 2012 jcladyluv

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

–Jeremiah 29:11

It’s hard to know if the direction you are headed in is the right one. It is even harder to know if the path you are on is the one you are destined for when it seems you continue to make so many mistakes (some mistakes repeatedly). You want there to be some way to know if that dream that you are chasing, and have been for years now, is the right one for you. You want to make sure that when you get to the destination that you are seeking, that you won’t regret the choice you made in picking that particular location. The thing is that you already know, deep down inside of you, if you are on the right path or not.

For a long time I questioned whether being a writer was really my destiny. I still question it sometimes when things seem to be hopeless. But what lets me know that this is my purpose and that I am on the right path is the fact the no matter how many mistakes I have made, they have somehow still all led me right to where I was always meant to be. I am making a living (admittedly lower then what I would like it to be at the time) doing what I love to do more then anything in this world. I am doing what calms me and what heals me. I am doing what God put me on this earth to do, and I am doing it with all of the mistakes I have made included.

Along your journey sometimes you get diverted, redirected, and turned completely around. You go in different directions then you originally saw yourself going in. But are those diversions really unplanned or were they just not a part of your plan. We make plans but our plans always get rerouted when they are not the same as God’s plans. This doesn’t mean that your destiny isn’t what you thought it was. It just means that the mistakes you think you made along the way were God’s way of getting you back on the right track.

The path you take isn’t going to be all on the straight and narrow, nor will it be without experiencing some bumps (and bruises) along the way. That doesn’t mean it’s not the right path for you, just that the right path is not going to be an easy one. You have to remember that you are on the path that God has chosen for you, for whatever reason. Don’t try to reroute God’s path with your own.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

The Questions We Ask Ourselves, and God (Part 3): When Are Things Going To Change?

February 15, 2012 jcladyluv

“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.”

~Mary Engelbreit

When you get stuck in a period of your life where nothing seems to be going the way that you think it should be you will start to question when things are going to change for you? The answer to that is simple but we tend to make it much more complicated then it has to be. Things will change when you make the decision to change them.

I know how it feels to be in that place where everything is going wrong. You think that things are going so bad that they can never get better. You start to wonder what you did to bring this kind of ‘bad luck’ your way. You even go over in your head things you could have done in a different way so that maybe things wouldn’t feel so impossible. You start to contemplate whether you will come out of that bad place long enough to make your dreams a reality. It’s a place that nobody likes to be in. But you don’t have to stay there.

Your attitude towards whatever your circumstances are determines the outcome of those circumstances. If you stay insistent that nothing is going to get better, that nothing is going to change, then why would you be surprised when they don’t. You attract what it is that you want so if you want to gain control of that situation and you want things to turn around then you have to change your mindset. Nothing is going to change if you don’t believe that it can.

Whatever your dreams are, it is never too late for them to come true. You may be down but you most certainly are not out. If you know that there are some things in your life that you need to change, all you need to do is take that step to change it. When you take that step that is when things are going to start to change for you. You just have to believe that they can, in fact, change.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

The Company You Keep Could Be Helping You Sabotage Yourself

February 10, 2012 jcladyluv

Number 5 on my list yesterday was ‘Keeping people around you that are not going to give you a swift kick in the ass’ and a part of that is not surrounding yourself with people who constantly try to do everything they can to bring negativity to you. It is always good when you can separate yourself from those that do not support your goals and that do not believe in you. But how do you separate yourself when the people or person who is against you is your family, not just family members, but your own mother.

My mother has never been supportive of my dream of being a writer and she has been very verbal about the fact that she thinks that my pursuing that dream is a huge waste of time. She made her point again today that I am wasting my time with this writing ‘stuff’ as she referred to it.

Years ago that would have bothered me. That would have eaten away at me and seeped inside of my soul with her words eventually starting to be projected in my own voice. That would have sent me into months and months of questioning my dreams and whether I could really make them happen. I would spend months thinking to myself that if my own mother doesn’t believe in me, then who else will.

Like I said, that would have been me years ago. That would have been a form of me self-sabotaging myself by way of my mother’s negativity. Now I know that I can not completely cut my mother off (well I could but she did give birth to me so that would be wrong) but I have learned to distance myself from her. More importantly, when she starts to talk about how my goals and dreams don’t matter and that their not worth the time and effort I am putting into them, I have to learn how to cut her off (respectfully of course) and tell her that I can’t be around the negativity.

I know that you can’t really tune out or walk away from every negative vibe that tries to come within your orbit, but you can’t make your dream a reality if you don’t at least try. Negative energy just breeds more negative energy so if you allow it into your inner circle then you also allow it to influence your spirit. So if you are keeping people around you that are only bringing negative energy to you then it is time to distance yourself from them. Stop sabotaging yourself with the company you are keeping. Until tomorrow…Remember that your kin is not always your kind!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”