Tag: Inspiration

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Resetting Boundaries and Growing Past Your Comfort Zone in the New Year

January 3, 2022 jcladyluv

It’s a brand New Year and with any luck it will be far better than the last two years. Now I’m not going to say that nothing good happened last year because after all, I published two books, and I started my online store. Let’s just say that I had a place where I would be in mind for the end of 2021 and to say that I was far from that desired goal would be an understatement. But I digress.

This is not going to be a negative post (I know it did sound kind of negative but bear with me) but in order to know the things that we need to do to get further along the path to achieving our goals we have to first assess and evaluate where we may have gone wrong in the first place. So, I’m just being reflective of the fact that I could have done a bit more to get to my goal and noticing where I need to improve.

While we know that we can never be perfect in the things that we do (because there’s just no such thing) we can always consistently strive to be ever changing and evolve to different methods and ways of thinking that will work better for us. We don’t get anywhere if we don’t admit, at least to ourselves, that we have to be willing to get out of those comfort zones that we have settled into.

We have to set boundaries for ourselves obviously, but we have to be willing to push those boundaries as well when we see that it’s time to grow forward. Otherwise, we will stay stagnant, and our success will inevitably be limited to the parameters that we ourselves set. So, this year make sure that you are pushing forward instead of just spinning on a never-ending wheel that lands you back in the same place in which you started.

Until next time… #BeBold #BeFearless #BePersistent

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

Side note: I have a new Author Newsletter that I would love it if you signed up for http://www.tinyletter.com/Author_JCCarpenter

Another Side Note: If any of you would like to buy me a coffee and donate to my creative endeavors then please feel free to https://ko-fi.com/authorjccarpenter

Your Attitude is Everything

November 29, 2021 jcladyluv

I’ve been in a bit of a funk since last week. I realized that I am nearing the stage of burn out and that I will most likely be taking a break from this blog and my YouTube channel in the month of December. I do have prerecorded videos that will be posted throughout December on YouTube channel so I will still technically be a presence over there. This will likely be my last blog post for this year (unless I get a great spark of inspiration for something to tell you lol) because I need to refill the creative well. It is important, as a creative, to not let yourself burn out entirely before realizing that you need to take a step back.

But my moment that I was having last week was also about something else. I was feeling like all of my efforts that I put into my writing career were pointless. I felt like all of the efforts were not bearing any fruit, or not enough fruit anyway if we’re talking in terms of finances. Even up until this morning I was just feeling so down about things. Then I was listening to something where the person being interviewed said that your attitude affects how you see things. It’s not like I didn’t already know this. I just needed a bit of a reminder and that reminder came right on time this morning.

I know that whatever happens, good or bad, I am blessed just to be given another chance each day God wakes me up in the morning. It is not over until it is REALLY over, meaning when there is no breathe left in my body. So just because I am not seeing things going in the direction I want them to go in right now doesn’t mean that it’s going to stay that way. But things surely can’t change course if I were to just have an attitude of giving up.

We accomplish nothing when we throw in the towel and give away. The only thing that would ensure is that all of the progress that we have made up to that point would truly be wasted and bear no fruit at all. It gets hard sometimes when you dream big but if it were easy then it would be a vision given to everyone and not just you. Our dreams and our visions are worth fighting to make them happen, no matter what it takes.

So keep that attitude of determination and drive. Hold on to that as you push through the dark moments where that little voice in your head is telling you that it’s pointless. Your attitude will be what carries you through and you will get there. Just don’t quit!

Until next time… #BeAmbitious #BeBold #BeGrateful

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

Side note: I have a new Author Newsletter that I would love it if you signed up for http://www.tinyletter.com/Author_JCCarpenter

Another Side Note: If any of you would like to buy me a coffee and donate to my creative endeavors then please feel free to https://ko-fi.com/authorjccarpenter

There Is Value In the Work Already Completed

October 18, 2021October 18, 2021 jcladyluv

In one of my last YouTube videos I was talking about productivity and how I felt like I was being more and more productive but still never felt like I was productive enough. It seems like the more I get done, the more there is that I want to be doing. I suppose that one could say that at least there’s some comfort in knowing that I’m definitely not lazy and that effort is most certainly not my problem.

Then I saw the above quote and realized that I wasn’t truly taking stock of the things that I was able to get done. I wasn’t taking notice of the fact that while I still have a lot I want to do and want my business to be doing for others that there was value in the work that had already been completed. I know I have probably said this here in various ways before but we have to acknowledge the work we’ve done before getting lost down the rabbit hole of constantly doing and trying to do.

I’m not saying that we don’t always need to be putting in a tremendous amount of effort on each and every endeavor we tackle. I’m saying that every once in a while we need to take a step back to look at what we’ve already managed to achieve and be proud of it and celebrate it. I think that in essence helps with productivity because it allows us to see that our efforts are not wasted.

Until next time… #BeEncouraged #BeProductive #BeConsistent

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

Side note: I have a new Author Newsletter that I would love it if you signed up for http://www.tinyletter.com/Author_JCCarpenter

Another Side Note: If any of you would like to buy me a coffee and donate to my creative endeavors then please feel free to https://ko-fi.com/authorjccarpenter

Take the Limits Off Your Dreams

October 4, 2021 jcladyluv

“Don’t base your hopes on your perceived limitations” ~ Steve Harvey

I’ve been thinking a lot about the opportunities that we pass up on in life, for one reason or another. I don’t know whether it’s a lack of belief in our own abilities, or because you start to believe the doubts others have of your abilities, or just out of the sheer fear of failing out loud. I think that we tend to short change ourselves when we talk ourselves out of opportunities because of our own limits.

I have a lot of ambition and a lot of things that I want to do with my writing and my brand. I also have a lot of things that I wished I would have went for and just didn’t, not for lack of hope, but because of my own limitations. I have an idea of things that I can do or can’t do and sometimes I don’t give myself enough credit.

I have certain writing positions that I have seen that I want to submit for but I haven’t because I simply am anxious about whether my writing would be good enough, because of my perceived limitations in my abilities. I at one point wanted to try my hand at acting but I could not get past my own hang-ups and my own doubts in what I would or wouldn’t be able to do. I’ve wanted to reach out to try to interview authors and entrepreneurs but because I feel that doubt creeping in I haven’t. I’ve seemingly convinced myself that there’s no way that they would do an interview for my magazine because they are who they are, without even attempting to get the interview.

I am fully aware that I place limitations on myself mainly out fear and self doubt which is a difficult beast to tame. Sometimes, even when you think that you’ve moved past the fear and then it just hits you out of nowhere. Limitations are fine for many things, one being when you are setting boundaries in terms of the people you allow in your life. The point when limitations become damaging is when you allow them to hold you back from everything that you are capable of achieving.

What is it that you are telling yourself that you won’t accomplish? What have you convinced yourself that you’re not good enough at so you shouldn’t even give it a shot? What dreams have you short changed yourself from because you allowed yourself to think that they are too unattainable? It’s not too late to change that way of thinking around and to take the limits off of yourself. Start today! Go out for that one goal that you thought you couldn’t reach. I assure you that you will get closer to that goal if you don’t limit yourself. Let’s work on that together!

Until next time… #BeAmbitious #BeBold #BeFearless

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

Side note: I have a new Author Newsletter that I would love it if you signed up for http://www.tinyletter.com/Author_JCCarpenter

Another Side Note: If any of you would like to buy me a coffee and donate to my creative endeavors then please feel free to https://ko-fi.com/authorjccarpenter

You Have to Protect Your Space

September 20, 2021 jcladyluv

I am extremely careful about who I let into my space these days. I have gone from being a person with a wide circle of friends and associates to a person who just has a few select friends that I interact with, and they are people who understand that my space is precious to me and that the energy in my space can’t be negative. But then there are family members that can’t exactly be ignored or discarded because, well, they’re family.

It’s not easy to ignore negative criticism or when people talk down to you about your dreams or the things that you are working towards. It’s particularly hard when it comes from unexpected places like your family. This past weekend a family member made sure that they sent me a text message first thing in the morning to convey how sad they were that it didn’t seem like people were buying my book and that it didn’t look like I was getting any support from even my fellow authors on my Ko-fi page. They proceeded to tell me ways that I could bring more attention to my book and my site in general.

Mind you this person is not experienced in marketing (for the record nether am I), they have no idea what I have sold or haven’t sold book wise, and this person also refused to promote my book at all in the lead up to its release. Now I am okay with their lack of support even though they are family and to be fair they have contributed to my Ko-fi page (which is how they know I’m not getting enough support—at least in their eyes) but that doesn’t give them the right to try to poison my day. This person is the kind of person that somehow sees negative comments and unsolicited negative advice as them being helpful. They see negativity as a tool to toughen someone up and light the proverbial fire under them.

Now I have come a long way in learning how to ignore the negative self-talk that I have in my own mind and to put a positive spin on nearly everything because honestly it doesn’t help me to see the negative points about what I’m working towards. I know that there are some people that it works for but I am not one of those people. As a person who has suffered with many bouts of deep depression and still struggles not to let myself get to that place again, I don’t need someone pointing out every negative thing they can think of. Trust me, I have probably already said it to myself anyway.

Now this person also clearly has not researched the statistical data behind the fact the most authors do not sell a ton of books with their first book, maybe not even their second or third (hell Dan Brown said no one even paid attention to him until his fourth book) and I knew that going in and have had that fact in my mind. I don’t write or publish books to try and get rich (not that I would mind it lol). I write and publish because I love it, always have since I was ten years old (really six) and because I have things to say that I feel are important enough that someone else might actually want to read it and might even get something out of it.

This family member seems to always, when I’m at my most peaceful state, want to drop their words of negativity in my lap and just thinks I’m supposed to thank them for it. They don’t respect my space and they don’t seem to understand or care that the negative comments are not just hurtful and destructive, but they’re just unnecessary. I’m not going to deny that I got in my feelings about this message that morning for about an hour or two but then I let it go. I proceeded to ignore any further messages and didn’t respond to the one’s that were sent and I went back to protecting my space.

We all have different ideas of what our happy place is. That place of peace where even if the world starts to crumble (or feels like it anyway) you still are armed with the knowledge and self-assurance that everything will be okay. It’s that space where I know that God would never give me more than I can handle and if I’m not strong enough he will be there to provide me with the strength that I need. We have to protect our spaces and keep those who wish to destroy it out, and not to be mean or nasty, but to keep ourselves sane and okay. I hope that you are protecting your space and I wish you well in doing so.

Until next time… #BeProtective #BeMindful #BeMotivated

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

Side note: I have a new Author Newsletter that I would love it if you signed up for http://www.tinyletter.com/Author_JCCarpenter

Another Side Note: If any of you would like to buy me a coffee and donate to my creative endeavors then please feel free to https://ko-fi.com/authorjccarpenter

Do I Really Need to Say Yes More?

September 13, 2021 jcladyluv

I read Shonda Rhimes book, Year of Yes, a couple of years ago and I vowed after reading it to start saying yes to things more often. Essentially I promised myself that I would be more open to change. After all, isn’t saying yes more geared towards the things that are out of your comfort zone and that you normally wouldn’t do? I will admit that there are some things that I have done since reading that books that I ordinarily wouldn’t have done, one of them being starting my YouTube channel. There’s a few more things that I have done that required me to step out of my bubble of comfort but I would assess that there have been far more times that saying no was the better move for me.

I have struggled in the past to find that balance between throwing caution to the wind and saying yes to things and knowing when to draw the line and just say no for myself. It would seem that at the moment when I finally learned how to say no to the things that I don’t want to do for my own sanity and self-care, that I lost some of that ability to say yes. I do believe that the Pandemic of the last year and a half also gave me further permission to be more of a no person than that yes person that I was working on becoming.

Honestly, I’m not sure that I want to be that ‘say yes to everything’ person because I don’t know that I would be a very happy person if I did that. I spent most of my childhood, my twenties, and a sizable chunk of my thirties saying yes to things that I just didn’t want to do at all, but not for the aspect of change, rather to please other people. I don’t know if it’s different when you’re saying yes for change and saying yes to people please but either way I don’t know that I can be that person. Sometimes no really is the right answer.

Now this is not anything against the people who say yes to every single thing and who love doing so. I think that it’s great to discover what works for you and if you are someone who says no to EVERYTHING then you should definitely read Shonda Rhimes book and incorporate yes more into your vocabulary. It’s good to explore and step out of the bubble of comfort sometimes. For me, I just cannot say yes to everything because then I get in this place where I start feeling like I’m doing things more for someone else and not for myself. I don’t want to go back to that place where I’m pleasing everyone else by saying yes to what they think I should do to the detriment of my own mental health and my own joy. I will not give up this peace that I have found and if that means I say no more than yes, so be it.

Until next time… #BeTruetoYourself #BeStrong #BeAuthentic

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

Side note: I have a new Author Newsletter that I would love it if you signed up for http://www.tinyletter.com/Author_JCCarpenter

Another Side Note: If any of you would like to buy me a coffee and donate to my creative endeavors then please feel free to https://ko-fi.com/authorjccarpenter

What You Tell Yourself You Will Believe

September 6, 2021 jcladyluv

It sounds so cliché to tell people to look on the bright side of things when things aren’t going the way that they expected them to go. I used to be one of those people who, a long time ago, would grimace at someone telling me to think of all of the good things I have to look forward to. I would look at them with the thought in my mind of ‘do you not see my world crumbling around me right now’ and just wave off their words, completely dismissing the positive vibes they were trying to send my way. I didn’t want positive vibes I wanted an answer as to why everything was crap. This was around the time when I was almost homeless, my best friend and I had had a falling out and I felt like I had no one who understood my pain.

But then I started working on some inner healing that was so long overdo. I started working on my spiritual journey and got back into going to church. I got back into not just saying that I believe God would never give me more than I can handle, but actually knowing down in my soul that those words were true. I started really listening to the things that God was telling me, the direction he wants me to go in, and I started really trusting that regardless of whatever happens, good or bad, God has got me and He will never leave me. I started learning how to love and trust myself and my own instincts (which were really whispers from God of what I already knew I should be doing and just didn’t trust it enough) again.

Then I became one of those people that I once used to grimace at. I started being able to find the positive aspects of everything. Even the most horrible things that happened I would strive to find the one positive aspect in it. There really is power in positive thinking. What’s even more amazing is that there is peace in thinking positive as well. Now I just feel so much peace inside and it doesn’t mean that everything is going well, it just means that I trust that it will all work out somehow in the way that it’s supposed to. I’m not saying I don’t still have some days where that depression starts to try and sneak in and rest within my spirit but I think I do a far better job now of keeping it at bay.

I saw a woman on the news this morning that was talking about the aftermath of Hurricane Ida and talking about how she has pretty much lost everything. The roof in her family’s home had holes in three places, there was mold now in her home so she had no choice but to throw everything that had been soaked through out, and they still have no power so no AC in a hundred plus degree heat. And she was smiling. She said that what she was concerned about now was feeding the neighbors around her. She said she may not be able to provide anyone with heat but she can make sure that they are fed. What a remarkable outlook on such a tragic situation. Her thing was, at least she was still here and she had to look at the positive things because what other choice was there.

Could we dwell on everything that goes wrong and focus on all of the bad crap that happens to us or others around us? Sure we could. But does that actually help change any of those things? Does it make you feel any better? So why not choose the positive things that are still present around you to focus on? Even if you can only find one positive thing in that crappy moment that you are in, rather than zero in on what is wrong, chose that one good thing instead. I promise you that you will feel better if you just keep your mind leaning towards the positive. As long as you are still here, things can always turn around.

Until next time… #BePositive #BeMindful #BeBlessed

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

Side note: I have a new Author Newsletter that I would love it if you signed up for http://www.tinyletter.com/Author_JCCarpenter

Another Side Note: If any of you would like to buy me a coffee and donate to my creative endeavors then please feel free to https://ko-fi.com/authorjccarpenter

You Are Important Just As You Are

August 30, 2021 jcladyluv

Every now and then I start to think about what I need to change in order to get things to move in the right direction. I see someone else doing things in an extraordinary way and it seems to work so well for them and I wonder should I be doing what they’re doing and would it work for me. But doing something that isn’t me and that doesn’t even fit my brand or who I am as a person is not really the message I want to put out there.

I have gotten to a place in my life where I have finally become okay with not fitting into someone else’s mold of who they think I should be or what they think I should do. When I assess whether I should try something that someone else is doing, I try to think is it authentic to who I am. Obviously there are lessons in the actions of others who have already gotten to where you are trying to go. I think sometimes it is okay to emulate the methods of successful people because clearly we learn by watching others as they go through their trial and error. However, you have to know when you are just trying to gain knowledge and when you are trying to be someone other than yourself.

I spent my twenties (mostly anyway) trying to fit everyone else’s idea of me and what they thought I should do and in my thirties I finally got it. It took me so long to understand and stop trying to fit in where I don’t think I ever belonged, and trying to be anyone other than who I really was, because I didn’t get that I was important just as I am.

There’s a quote by Michelle Obama that I want to leave you with that reads “You don’t have to be somebody different to be important. You’re important in your own right.” Know that whatever you do on your journey in life it’s okay to soak up the information and put others methods into practice that will help improve you and your life. Don’t try to fit into someone else’s mold, and remember that you are enough all on your own.

Until next time… #BeAuthentic #BeMindful #BeBold

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

Side note: I have a new Author Newsletter that I would love it if you signed up for http://www.tinyletter.com/Author_JCCarpenter

Another Side Note: If any of you would like to buy me a coffee and donate to my creative endeavors then please feel free to https://ko-fi.com/authorjccarpenter

The Numbers Don’t Always Tell the Full Story

August 16, 2021 jcladyluv

They say that numbers don’t lie and I think to a degree that is certainly true but I don’t believe you get the full picture of anything when you are solely looking at the numbers. I released my novel out into the world last Friday (https://www.amazon.com/author/jccarpenter) (yes on the 13^th, I know) and I was asked by a couple of different people if I had checked out the numbers yet to see how many people purchased my book on the first weekend of its release. I simply said ‘no, it’s not the most important thing so I’ll look at it later.’

Now I don’t mean that to suggest that I don’t care whether or not people buy my book because I absolutely want people to not only buy the book, but to like or even love the book. When I say that it’s not important I mostly meant that I had to manage my expectations and to do so I had to see the bigger picture of what mattered. What mattered the most to me was getting it out there, for starting to ball rolling on what I intend to be a very lengthy publishing career where I roll out at least two books a year if not more.

What matters is that I can say that I am a published author and people can go and look at what I produced and what I am very proud of. What matters, maybe more than even those things, is the people who may have been afraid to put their work out there, who actually read my blogs or watch my YouTube channel and see that I’ve done it and feel motivated and inspired to do the same. If I can be a light on someone else’ dark journey, that to me matters more than just about anything. There is so much that I want to do with my writing career but above anything else is to be an inspiration to others.

I am not going to lie and say that I don’t want to sell a ton of books and have people love them as much as or even more than I do but my purpose is always to affect someone else’ life in some way, even if it’s just in a tiny, miniscule way. Don’t we all just want to make a difference? Isn’t that what we are all walking this earth for, to make an impact on other people’s lives? Just in releasing my book I have been sent messages on Twitter, through email, and Facebook about how inspired people were that I just didn’t give up, or how proud they were of me. That means more than any analytics report.

In this life we can’t always rely on the numbers to convey the impact we have on one another. The numbers don’t calculate the fire you may light under someone else simply because you didn’t give up on your dreams. The numbers don’t take into consideration that person who reads something you wrote and came acroos just the right words that they needed to get the help they’ve been too proud to ask for. The numbers are just that, numbers. They don’t determine the heart of a person or the impact one leaves behind on another. So don’t focus so much on the numbers that you forget about the purpose of why you’re doing everything that you’re doing in the first place.

Until next time… #BeBold #BeMindful #BeMotivated

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310