This Dream Is Everything To Me and I Cannot Fail

Chasing my dream 2

I realized when I woke up this morning that I am still not having the rate of production that I want so far this year. There’s something else I realized too. I cannot handle the thought of failing at this. Not failing in general with various tasks that may fall through or fall short of what I expected. Not failing simply in terms of getting thrown off course and sent in a different and unexpected direction. Not failing as in not completely fulfilling all of the larger than life goals that I have for myself.

I can handle all of that because I have learned (and read from many successful people) that failure is a part of succeeding, quite possibly a more vital part than people realize. What I absolutely cannot handle failing at is the overall goal of fulfilling the dream I have had since I was six years old of being a writer, and not that person who has a full time job and writes as my side gig (not that there is ANYTHING wrong with that AT ALL). I don’t want to have to go back to having to balance both the fulltime job and my writing dream because when I had to do it before it didn’t work for me at all, on any level.

My dream was to make a living as a writer and that I was going to influence this world, even if it’s only to a small sum of people, in a major way. I have too many people who doubt me, including my own mother, and most of my entire family, and I refuse to prove them right in any way. Now me succeeding and making my dreams come to fruition is definitely not about proving anyone else wrong (not solely) but we all know it’s a bonus when you can do something everyone said that you couldn’t.

I have my plans set and my projects that I am supposed to be completing for the year set and they seemed so achievable when I wrote them down. However, January is almost over and I don’t see where any breakthrough has happened yet. I know I have to be patient but did I ever mention that patience is not really my strong suit. I have been at this so long and the journey has been quite daunting and tiresome and when you have people in your ear questioning you on whether you should just go ahead and give up or admit that it’s just not going to happen quite the way I want it to, it can be really frustrating.

I won’t give up on this vision of mine, largely in part due to this nagging feeling in my gut that keeps telling me that I’m on the right path, even if it doesn’t always feel like it, and to not give in to what other people think is best for me. The other reason I won’t give up is because this is the purpose that God has given me in life and I won’t turn my back on that purpose. I’m strong enough to persevere and as for the patience, well I’m working on that part (lol) but I won’t back down from this dream.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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A Point of Light

Point of Light

I came across a speech that Tyler Perry made at a conference a couple of weeks ago, nothing too long but as always with anything he has to say it was extremely effective. He spoke about having and being a point of light. Of how we all have that person or those people who have a certain power to pull you out of those deep dark places that your mind can tend to go to when you are struggling along your journey to success. Or that can physically rescue you from a situation that you should no longer be in anymore. He also spoke of how we too can be that point of light for others and that maybe some of us already have been that for people and we may not even realize it. He spoke of how whatever we do in this life should have a purpose, a point, that can help others pull themselves out of that dark place.

After I finished watching his speech I thought about how I hope that I could someday be that for someone else because I could already pinpoint at least three people who have been that point of light for me. Then I thought about my blog and how, even though I am mostly just expressing my own thoughts or opinions about things, sometimes I will come across a comment that someone left me telling me how something I wrote inspired them or helped them that particular day. It gives me chills to think that I might actually be doing what I set out to do when I created my Write 2 Be brand and that all of the ideas that I have for Write 2 Be to inspire others and be a guiding point for those who are cautiously walking along the path of who they are meant to be.

The whole message of Write 2 Be is to get people to understand that you don’t have to worry about what other people or society thinks about, that you should focus on being the very best version of yourself that you can because as much as society can voice their opinion about someone doing this or that, they can’t be that person, they can’t be you. My message is strongly geared at children, particularly those who have been or are being bullied for being different, for being unique, and being special so that these future creative geniuses won’t apologize for being different and so that they don’t feel that they need to be anybody else but who they were born to be. They have that right to be whoever it is they want to be, whoever it is that God placed them on this earth to be.

So I hope that Write 2 Be will be that point of light for these young creative geniuses coming up, and even for the ones who have already created their little niche but struggle with wanting to fit in with everyone else who might not have your unique vision and perspective. I certainly think that Tyler Perry and Oprah Winfrey, and Cyrus Webb are points of light and of course my best friend who is a media mogul in the making LaMonique Hamilton. They are people who inspire me and show me that if you want something bad enough you can make your dream happen but not only that, that you can help others make their dreams happen as well just by not being afraid to fulfill your purpose and be unapologetically yourself.

So find time this weekend to honor your points of light but also to most importantly be a point of light for others. There is no other more rewarding feeling than knowing that something you did or said helped or inspired someone else, that you were the light that pulled them through, even if only part of the way!

 

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

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Will Write For…

Will write for 1

I am continually shocked at the questions that I get asked when it comes to my writing career, even more so at the assumptions that people make about it. When I say I am a writer people tend to respond “okay but what do you do for a living, as your day job” and my response is the same, I am a writer. I swear that it seems that unless you are on the New York Times Bestseller list (of which I plan to be on someday) or unless you are writing for a television show or a script for a movie that is already in production, then people don’t seem to take a person being a writer seriously. As if the people who got all of those accolades arrived there magically without putting in the hard work for little to nothing.

I am what some may call a starving artists’ except that I make sure that neither I nor my child, are never starving. Yes I might live from paycheck to paycheck, or in this instance, from assignment to assignment, but if I am going to survive (sometimes barely) that way then at least I am proud to be struggling to survive by doing something that I love and am so passionate about. Of course there are hundreds and thousands of people who do the regular job by day and then work on their dream by night and I did that for a while but I couldn’t keep that up because what ended up suffering was my dream and I just couldn’t allow that to happen.

When asked (repeatedly might I add) why would I struggle at solely being a writer, give up so many of the luxury things that I would love to do, both by myself and with my daughter, have to decline so many activities that I would love to be able to do, just to make barely enough to cover my bills and most of my necessary needs. My answer is always simple. Because it was what I was meant to do with my life, it is my calling, and I can’t devote fully to my calling and purpose if I’m devoting half of my time to someone else’s calling and purpose.

I write for many reasons. I write to say all of things that I can’t say out loud. I write to express feelings that I think no one else will care about. I write to deal with the hurt that I have felt for most of my life. I write to invent a life that I have always wanted and have not managed to attain yet. I write to cope with the harshness of this world. I write to get away from the criticism of others. I write to survive. But mostly I write for those who feel what I feel, go through what I have gone through, and can’t express what they really want to say, because I want to be a change in their lives. I want to inspire and help others heal. I want to give pieces of myself so that others can realize that it’s not just them that feel that way. I became a writer because I want to be the change in this world that I want to see and I use my words to do that.

Every time that I was working on someone else’s dream by day and had to minimize the work on my dream to the few hours a night that I got it was like dying a slow death, a little every day. Now that I don’t do that, now that my dream is my sole focus, yes I may not have things as easy as I would like to, the struggle some days might even feel too overwhelming, but I come alive more and more with the nurturing of my dream. I may not be wealthy (and not saying that wealth is not in my future) in terms of money but I am wealthy in my peace of mind, and in my heart, and in the joy that I feel from knowing that each day I am that much closer to my dream.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

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It’s Okay To Be a Dreamer

It's okay to be a dreamer

There are so many people that I hear give up on their dreams (or at least on dedicating their entire focus to their dreams) for the purpose of being there for their family, mainly the children. Some people feel like if they are too focused on the dream that they have that it will take too much focus away from their children and that their children would end up resenting them for it. In all honesty, it is possible that the dream that one has for their life, for fulfilling their purpose, could very well place attention heavily on the efforts that need to be taken to commit to that dream and yes the children may initially feel slighted.

However, I fully believe that if we don’t go after our dreams, focused and driven, then we are telling our children (inadvertently of course) that they can’t or shouldn’t go after theirs. We can’t drive home the point to our children that whatever they dream for their future can become reality if they work towards it and not show them by example that it is in fact true. Essentially our children need for us to follow our dreams and see them all the way through because they need to see that it’s possible and they need to see that you mean what you say to them when you tell them to do the same thing. We can’t preach something to our children if we are not in fact practicing it.

For everyone who has ever felt guilty (myself included) for taking the dream you have and committing to it wholeheartedly and putting that dedication and hard work in to get that dream accomplished. Please know that while it often times does not feel like you are doing what is in the best interest of your children, your family, the reality is that you are doing your absolute best for them. You are showing them that this matters to you. You are showing them that no matter how many people will tell you that you can’t, you absolutely can.

You are teaching your children that not only can they allow themselves to dream big but that they should do everything that they can to make that dream happen. You are giving them the example and the blueprint to follow for when it’s their turn to go full force for their dreams. So the next time you are wondering if you are doing the right thing by being dedicated to what you are doing remind yourself that you’re not only doing this for yourself, but for your children as well, so they won’t be afraid to go after their dreams. You are leading them to their destiny by following the path to yours.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

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Reminding Myself of Whose Plan This Is

God's plan my plan 2

The last couple of weeks have been a struggle and a true test of my will to stick to my purpose and hang in there for the long haul. I had a wonderful opportunity lined up through a friend and to make a long story short the opportunity fell through and it would have been a huge stepping stone towards greater things. My first thoughts were to just give up. I wanted to quit because it just seems that lately nothing is going the way that it is supposed to and everything is completely falling apart. It seems like the walls are caving in all around me to the point where I won’t be able to climb out from underneath the rubble.

I sat and wondered why would God give me this purpose, afford me the ability to obtain the tools to carry out this purpose, and then keep removing every opportunity that could bring me closer to achieving that purpose. I don’t want to make it seem as though I would ever question God and his plan or the way that his plans come to fruition but when you are trying to do everything that you think is right but nothing seems to be working (at least not as well as you would like it to) you start to wonder a little.

I keep coming across quotes and inspirational messages that seem to be screaming at me the answers to my questions, in particular “you may not like where you are but you wouldn’t be there if God didn’t have a purpose for it” and of course my favorite “without tests there are no testimonies”. These sayings keep being brought to my attention in this period of struggle and I am reminded that my plans and Gods plans are not necessarily the same. Even if they were the same as far as the destination, he may have a completely different route planned on how I get to that end result.

What God is doing, I may not even begin to understand it until it all starts to fall into place but the toughest part is having the patience (which I strongly lack) and the faith to wait out God’s plan and not get so frustrated that I give up altogether. Now I’ve never been a quitter so I don’t think that I am going to start now but I sure would not mind seeing some sort of light (even a peek) at the end of the tunnel. However, I understand that as long as God knows where the light is at the end of that tunnel and is guiding me towards it then it doesn’t matter the path that he uses to get me there. I just have to trust that he will get me there.

I won’t lie and say that I completely understand the methods. I won’t even lie and say that I don’t wish that they could be a lot less stressful on me. While I don’t like to be in a position of struggle I understand that for some people, the struggle is a part of the journey in order for them to be a blueprint to others. So today, and every day, embrace your struggles and be proud of the tribulations that you have endured and will endure because you never know who your story is going to be a blueprint for. Stay strong and hang in there, the struggle will be worth it.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

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I Was This Close To Just Giving Up

Was going to give up 2

I want to give up. I want to just throw my hands up as I am knocked down by life yet again and admit that I’m just plain tired and that I don’t have any fight left in me anymore. I want to just succumb to being average and stop trying to fulfill this extraordinary shit that I thought was my damn purpose in this world. I want to just stop having faith in the future that I can’t see ahead of me because how do I even know that any of that shit is going to happen anyway, just because I believe that is what is meant for me. I want to just say my mother was right and I am never going to amount to anything. I want to just say the hell with everything because I just can’t keep trying anymore and keep continually being disappointed every time I think everything is about to turn the corner and it doesn’t.

But I was reminded by a friend yesterday (we’ll just call him Mr. J) that I can’t think that way. I can’t have a defeatist mind set. I have to just accept what has happened, or the changes that are occurring, especially the changes that aren’t good, determine the solution, and then fix the problem the best way that I can, the best way that I know how. He reminded me that you can’t just let life knock you down and then lay there and not get back up. If I were to do that, then the devil wins and he is smiling because he knows that he overpowered my will to serve out my purpose.

The devil has been extremely busy with me these past few weeks, hell months, and I’ve been told that when the devil is really busy with you, that not only means that you are doing something right but that you have a hell of a victory coming your way. If that is in fact true then my victory is going to be unbelievably sweet. It’s hard when you fall to not just want to stay down because getting back up is hard, particularly when you keep getting knocked back down before you can even catch your breath and get all the way back up.

I couldn’t have wrote this post yesterday because I felt completely defeated and everything in the first paragraph of this post was what I was feeling and what I was going to accept. However I reminded myself this morning that I am not average, nor am I meant to live anything but an extraordinary life. I am not a quitter, I am a fighter by nature and I could never look at myself in the mirror if I didn’t give this absolutely everything that I’ve got and nothing less. My mother is most certainly not right about me because I will amount to everything that God has predestined for me. And I may not have complete and total faith in mankind and the man-made obstacles that are going to fall in my path but I do have absolute faith in God and his power to remove those obstacles when he sees fit.

I would say that I picked a profession that lends nothing but struggle and rejection (at least in the beginning) to it but it was what I truly believe I was placed on this earth to do. It picked me, or should I say God picked it for me. I just had an opportunity that I felt would’ve been changed a lot of things for me, for the better, pretty much snatched away from me. It was made even worse by the fact that the friend who came to me with the project (admittedly because she knew it could possibly be a game changer for me) didn’t fight for me to stay on the project, as I felt she should have. Everyone wants to say that perhaps that was God’s way of saying that opportunity wasn’t meant for me and I’m still very far off from believing that this opportunity wasn’t meant for me but I will say that I am not going to let this new fall keep me down. It is their loss, not mine.

So if you too have been thinking about giving up this week, or this month, I am here to say I understand exactly how you feel. I also know that if you do, you will never forgive yourself and you will always be left with this feeling of what if. The wondering will end up crippling you because you will forever live in the past trying to guess what would’ve happened if you had just hung in there a little longer. Just don’t quit. Don’t give up. Keep fighting because it won’t always be this hard (I have to believe that) and on the day when everything starts to fall in place you will look back on this time period where you had the crazy notion to give up and be thankful that you didn’t. So just hang in there, the victory is coming!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

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Don’t Put a Ceiling Where No Roof Should Be

no ceiling 2

I was told once (okay well more than once) that I was inspiring. I was told that my words inspired others. I suppose if I weren’t a person who had become accustomed to believing that everything someone says to me is usually a lie, I might believe them. Or at least maybe it wouldn’t have taken me so long to believe them. I got to thinking this morning, if so many people that society considers ordinary because their names are not up on billboards somewhere (yet) can inspire me and get me motivated, then why isn’t it possible that lil ole ordinary me can do the same for someone else.

It makes me more mindful of the work that I am doing, of the words that I am saying and of the persistence that I am putting into getting my goals accomplished because if I can inspire someone, anyone else, to believe in their dreams and to live by their own standards and not the standards placed on them by society, then I will be making great strides in serving the purpose that God put me here on this earth for.

I grew up being told by the one person who was supposed to always believe in me, that I was never going to be able to accomplish anything, that I was never going to reach my destiny because society was never going to let me, and because I wasn’t good enough. I had to somehow keep myself motivated and inspired, to even have the courage to go after my dreams. It’s a lot harder when you don’t have anyone inspiring you or at the very least, cheering you on. So I am glad if there is anybody that I can be an inspiration to and I embrace that responsibility with open arms.

So for any of you out there who is thinking that what they are doing doesn’t matter to anyone and that no one is watching or paying attention. Trust that there is someone that is being inspired by what you are doing, by the persistence that you are showing, by the dream that you are building up. It might even be someone like me. Never underestimate yourself, or the power of your vision, or the effect that you may be having on others. I have been underestimating myself for far too long and it is time that I stop doing that. It’s time that you stop doing it too. Stay inspired and stop putting a ceiling where no roof should be!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

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What’s My Motivation?

What's my motivation

I saw a post on Facebook that asked “What motivates YOU to work hard?” and it got me to thinking about the times when I lose my motivation.  Initially the artistically correct response would be that my passion is what motivates me.  In many ways this is true because honestly unless you start off with a lot of connections in the writing world and you could breeze past the whole submit/rejection portion of rising to the top in your field of fellow writers then who would really want to struggle along this particular path if they weren’t passionate about the art of putting words to paper.

However, if I dig deep into the crevices of my brain and my heart, my motivation for being a writer goes beyond that.  Yes it is true that since I was 6 years old this is what I have wanted to do but the reasoning became different as the years went on.  It was first a fun thing to tell stories and dream up these big, sometimes, unrealistic worlds.  Then it evolved into being the only way that I could truly express how I was feeling because no one would ever listen to my words, but they never minded reading them.  Then it became my escape, where I didn’t want to really tell my story as much as I wanted to tell the story that I wished I was living in.  But once I had a child, it became the way that I could do all of that but still be the mom that my mother wasn’t for me.

My mother was cold and unfeeling, I can’t even remember hearing the words I Love You too much in my house growing up, and I’m not sure if her having to work so hard and so much (sometimes 2 jobs which felt more like I was being raised by my sister) was the reason why she felt she had to shut down emotionally from me and my sister but if that was a reason then I was going to make sure that I didn’t have that reason when it came to my child.  I wanted to be home with my daughter, there when she got out of school, there when she needed anything, said I love you for no particular reason, there to tuck her in at night, and there to play when she wanted to just play.  Writing allows me to do that, to be tuned in to my child the way that I couldn’t be if I were working the traditional job.

I tried that when she was younger, in an effort to get that stable, absolute income while still trying to make it as a writer.  Not only did that take away from the time I could have been putting into my dream but it also drained me mentally and emotionally and I couldn’t show up for my child the way that she needed me too.  Now I know there are millions of women who do it, and manage it well, and perhaps they are better suited to be that kind of parent but I just know that I’m not built that way.

Now I’ve been criticized so many times for not just jumping back into the “regular” work force and having that stable income there and been accused of not thinking about my child in that regard but I disagree.  I think that monetary things and possessions cannot provide emotional stability for a child and yes if you can do the “regular” job thing and still provide emotional support and stability for your child then that’s great.  I know that I can’t.  I’ve tried and I saw myself starting to turn into my mother which was the last thing I wanted for my child.

Going this route is difficult, true, but it also will instill in my daughter another thing my mother didn’t instill in me.  It will teach her to go after her dreams, no matter what they are, no matter how many people tell you that you’re never going to get there, no matter how many people are standing against you, go for them in spite of all of that.  In the end she will have her dream and everyone who was against her will be wishing they could have come along for the ride.  I want my daughter to believe in herself the way that I never did until I was well into my adulthood.  I want her to know that when she waivers on what she dreams up for her life that I will be there to remind her not to give up.  That my giving up will help remind her not to give up.

I want everything for my daughter that I didn’t have growing up and none of that comes with having the largest bank accounts.  Don’t get me wrong, of course there are things I want my daughter to have that money is definitely necessary for in order to give her that, but I want her to know that the important things in life cannot be bought.  Things like love, self-esteem, confidence, work-ethic, belief in oneself and their dreams, and the tenacity to go after those dreams.  Those are things that money can’t give or provide for you.  Think about motivates your hustle today.  Take that motivation and use it to fuel your drive.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

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I Could Pick Another Career….But I Like the One God Picked For Me

WhatIDo

I will preface this post by stating with an absolute certainty that I love (love, love) being a writer.  It is what I am most passionate about.  It is what gets me through most of my bad days.  It is when I feel like I am doing the most good, in general, throughout the world.  And most importantly it is, what I feel, is the best legacy that I can leave behind for my daughter, and her children to come after.

Having said that, some days it is hard to be a writer when that is your only source of income and when the thought of doing anything else for a living makes you literally cringe.  People seem to think two polar opposite things about the life of a writer.  They either think that you are basically using a hobby as an excuse as to why you don’t have what they deem to be a “real” job or they think you have large sums of money in which you are not even close to having.  Now if you have made it like J.K. Rowling, or Stephen King, or James Patterson, or Terry McMillan, then sure, you do have large sums of money at your disposal.

However, if you have not made it to that milestone in your writing career yet, then you are just scraping by like any other average working person, it’s just not doing the traditional job.  That does not in any way diminish what you do or make it just a hobby that you are trying to get paid to do.  There is a huge difference in doing writing as a hobby and doing it as a career.  The struggle is different.  Once you make writing a career, it is not just about the sheer love of putting a fictional story, or even your story, on a piece of paper for all to see.  It then becomes a business in which you must then market yourself and your work.  You have now become a business in which you are your brand.

The business side of writing is what I sometimes dread because I have not always been the best at “selling myself” so to speak.  I can sale anyone else’s work and promote many others but for some reason when it comes to me it gets difficult.  It’s something that I have to get used to and get better at gradually but gradually does not garner me any immediate income the way that I need it to.

Writing is definitely not a career choice for the weak, or faint of heart, or for those that are looking for an easy source of financial stability.  I look unstable to those outside of the creative spectrum and I even feel that way most days but when I look at it in terms of whether my child is taken care of and if she has what she needs (plus a few things that she wants) and if the basic needs are being met, then I have to acknowledge that my modest way of living is working for now.

True I can’t do outlandish extravagant things and I can’t get every little thing that I desire but it makes it so much more worth it when I can obtain those things because I know that I worked hard for them.  Like I said in the beginning of this post, I love writing and I wouldn’t choose any other career.  There are ones that I would love to do in addition to writing like singing and counseling others but nothing I feel as passionate about as writing.

If writing is something that you love to do, then ignore all of the days that you feel like it’s just not worth it.  Ignore the feelings of you not being good enough to do this successfully.  Ignore all of the days where a regular job seems like the only option you really have to have everything that you want and desire.  Ignore the days that you feel like you’re not truly meant to be a writer because you can’t seem to promote yourself well enough.  Your days of struggling as a writer may seem like they are just beginning but in the end, if you work hard, if you fight hard for what you want out of your career, then it will all be worth it.  Work hard and struggle harder.

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

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The Faith of a Child

Faith of a child

I remember when I was younger having such big dreams.  They were dreams that honestly seemed impossible to everyone that I told them to but to me they seemed like a no brainer.  You couldn’t have ever told me then that I wasn’t ever going to achieve those goals because I would’ve just told you that you were crazy for not believing in me and my talent and abilities.

As I got older and into my adulthood and life started to unfold differently than my original plan my dreams shifted, in some ways to include larger goals, and the words of those naysayers started to get inside my head.  I started to think that I was wishing for too much and dreaming way too big.  I started to think that maybe I should only strive for what seemed realistically possible.  I guess along the way my big dreams were always still in the back of my mind but I managed to dull their shine by settling for the things that seemed somewhat achievable, the things that were safely within my reach.

I was watching Joel Osteen the other morning and he spoke about dreaming big and not being afraid to pray God-sized prayers for yourself because there is nothing so big that God can’t do.  He reminded me that you get what you ask for, or in this case pray for, and that if all you ever do is pray the safe prayers and ask for the small and ordinary things, then that is what you’re going to get.  He reminded me that I am not bothering God to ask for what I really want and that it is not selfish to go big rather than play it safe.

I was never one to want a mediocre life before and my dreams cannot become a reality if I only play things safe so why am I.  Don’t get me wrong, I do pray, a lot, but I pray unselfish prayers and I pray things for my daughter, or for what would suffice for the moment to get me through a particular period of time.  I suppose I somehow developed this idea that there were certain things that I shouldn’t ask God for, things that would sound selfish considering the misfortune of so many in this world, things that seemed too big to ask God for, things that I guess I didn’t want to believe were possible for me to have, which is funny because when I was younger I never believed that anything was impossible for me to have.

What Joel Osteen was saying about daring to ask God for the big things, the things that seem to be impossible, resonated with me.  It took me back to that kid that wasn’t afraid to dream big and who wasn’t scared to pray for those things that everyone else thought I was crazy for even hoping would come true.  I hadn’t realized that I was putting limitations on God and what he was able to do for me.  More importantly, I was underestimating what God’s purpose for me was and not being bold enough to ask him for what he had already promised me was mine.

When you are seeking out the things you want most out of life, don’t walk in the safe zone like I have been doing.  Walk in the faith zone and trust in what God has planned for you.  If you have not, it is because you asked not.  Dare to dream big and stop praying small.  God is an awesome God who can do so many big things that he is just waiting for us to ask for.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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