Tag: Success

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The Writer That Doesn’t Put Themselves Out There Doesn’t Get Seen

October 18, 2012 jcladyluv

It is very hard to put yourself out there in any capacity, be it love or your career. It stirs up feelings of fear of being rejected, not being good enough, not being accepted, not succeeding at your end goal, and even of how you will handle it if you do succeed. Being a writer, you find yourself having to put yourself out there quite often, at least until you have put in enough hard work and effort to where the people you want to write for are finally coming to you.

It takes time to get to that point, where you are no longer the cat in the cat and mouse game of becoming successful at earning your income as a writer, and have finally become the mouse being sought after. I used to wonder when I started trying to make a go at this, just how long do I have to keep putting myself all out there only to continually be rejected time and time again before someone comes looking for me.

I realize now, and frankly way too late, that in order to become and remain a successful writer, you can’t ever stop putting yourself out there. Even more embarrassing and much to my deep regret, I have realized that I have wasted so much time feeling all of those fears and playing into them, that I haven’t actually been putting myself out there (not nearly as much as I should have been anyway) and I only have myself to blame for not being a household name by now.

The blame doesn’t fall on the editor’s and the people who haven’t accepted my wonderful words and given me that chance that I am dying to have in order to get into all of those national magazines that I want to be featured in. I only have myself to blame for not completely putting myself out there. They can’t accept what I am too afraid to submit.

A writer’s only way of becoming published, of becoming that success that we all dream about becoming, is to keep putting themselves out there. No matter what the outcome, whether it is good or bad, they have to keep going for it, even when it seems impossible; especially when it seems to be impossible. A fighter never wins the battle if they never fight to begin with.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Everything Is Not Always a Good Fit

October 2, 2012 jcladyluv

Last week my best friend Ms. L. wrote a blog post about people not thinking that they are too good to do something in order for them to get further ahead. She was speaking of people who make comments such as “I don’t do windows, or I will not work at a fast food restaurant, or I won’t scrub and clean people’s floors” but still find themselves scrambling to get ahead. She spoke about the people who turn their noses up at those particular types of jobs because they believe that they are supposed to be somewhere better but yet they have not paid their dues.

Now while I agree with some of what she says in her post, I have to say, unashamedly, that I am one of those people who will not take a job at a fast food restaurant or cleaning rooms at a hotel. However, it is most certainly not me looking down on people that work in the fast food or restaurant industry or people who are maids, or are in the retail industry. In fact I worked in the retail industry for years and yes as a part of that work I did clean some bathrooms, and I cleaned up other people’s mess, and I did grunt work that I absolutely hated.

When I decided to work on making writing my full time and only job (or passion with benefits of income as I would rather refer to it) it wasn’t because I felt I was too good to work in those industries (because believe me, I know that is not the case), but rather because I no longer wanted to work to further someone else’s dreams (being the owners of those companies) while my dreams took a seat somewhere in the far back corner. It wasn’t that I felt I was above those positions, it was more that I felt I would be doing a disservice to those who worked in those industries and loved what they do and who do it well.

It’s kind of like when you go into a restaurant and have the worst waitress you could possibly have and you leave the restaurant saying to yourself “if she doesn’t want to be there, she just shouldn’t be working there”. I don’t want to be one of those people who is doing a job because I am desperate and have no choice because then I will never do the job the way that it is supposed to be done. I feel that I am destined to do a specific job on this earth and I just don’t want to waste my time, or anyone else’s for that matter, doing a horrible job at something that I wasn’t meant to do in the first place.

I agree that you should never look down on jobs that don’t appear to be glamorous, especially if you don’t know what it is that you want to do and you are trying to find your footing. However, I also feel that if you know that you have a dream and a goal, and you know what direction you are headed in, you should never settle for something that you can’t give 100 percent to. It’s not turning your nose up at a particular job, or even those that do that particular job, to realize that you just wouldn’t do that job justice and that it just isn’t a good fit for you.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

The Crutches That Keep Us From Healing

September 21, 2012September 21, 2012 jcladyluv

I broke my foot when I was 19 years old. I was attending MorganStateUniversity and it was during the winter when it had snowed and iced and as I was on my way to a class I slipped and fell and could not get up. I had to be taken to the hospital and once examined, I had my foot put in a cast and given crutches and told to use them everyday for the appropriate healing time or else my foot would not be able to heal itself properly.

For anyone who knows me, I am a hardheaded person who typically likes to formulate my own method of how things will wok better for me and needless to say I didn’t really use the crutches. I tried to use them but they never felt like they actually gave me the support that they were supposed to give and they became more of a hindrance than actually helping me. It would not be until years later that I realized that using those crutches properly as instructed would have saved me a lot of physical pain down the road.

To this day I have problems with my foot (especially when it rains) and I know that with any body part that gets broken you are going to have problems but I think because my foot didn’t heal properly, it gave me extra problems. We all have our own personal crutches in life. There are ones that we are supposed to use that we don’t, there are the one’s that we use when we don’t need them, and then there are the ones that we use far longer than necessary and then on top of it we don’t use them effectively enough so that when we no longer have the crutches we are ill prepared for the journey without them.

I have had a crutch for the last several years and it was one that was supposed to only be used to get me in a better position for what it is I really need to be doing. That crutch was supposed to allow me time to get myself ready for when I no longer had them anymore. I had been relying on that crutch for so long that not only had I not realized that I should have removed them a long time ago, but now because I didn’t use that crutch properly as they were supposed to be used, I am ill prepared for the journey without them. The crutch that was supposed to end up helping me has now become the thing that has hindered me the most and without it I feel as if my world is literally crashing in on me.

A week ago, I had so much school work with this Master’s program that seemed to be getting the better of me, and I was frustrated because not only did I not have the time to write (due to massive amounts of school work) but I also do not have the time to market and promote myself or query to bring the money in as a writer that I need to make. A week ago I also had a crutch that I knew would be there, until it wasn’t anymore.

So here I sit, with the crutches pulled out from under me abruptly, with no notice, and amazingly I am sitting here doing the research and working on querying, and thinking of the next project as well as how to complete the novel I am still working on so I can query that, and surprise of all surprises I can am still managing to get my homework done. I seemed to have suddenly made the time that I needed to have all along.

Now I’m not going to say that I am glad that the crutches were pulled out from underneath me without fair warning because I am not in a good place right now and at this moment I am not seeing how it is going to get any better as quickly as I need it to. I can say that without those crutches, I have suddenly jumped into action. I am getting things done even as I am typing this blog post that I thought I wasn’t able to make the time for.

I can see now that those crutches were not helping me like I thought after all. They were giving me an excuse not to take immediate action. They were feeding the fear that I already had about whether or not I can make this work. I thought that they were giving me a way to prepare when really they were keeping me from taking that giant leap of faith that I always thought I was taking.

Most crutches do help us heal from whatever it is that is broken. However, at some point we have to remember to remove those crutches when they are no longer needed because then all they are really doing is getting in the way. I took too long to remove mine, don’t wait until it’s too late to remove yours.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

(P)interested In Improving What Isn’t Working

September 19, 2012 jcladyluv

I make no secret of not being heavily into the technology craze but I am not naïve to think that as a writer and someone who wants to become a very successful author and wordsmith that I don’t need to master the art of social media on some level. I have succumb to facebook, and twitter, and I even try to use linkedin to my best ability but I was not jumping to test out the latest social media obsession that is Pinterest.

Recent impounding struggles and events have forced me out of my comfort zone and into the mindset that I have to figure out how to master social media at a higher level because my current level is not really working for me. So in an effort to bump up my social media usage (for the sake of my online presence) and after reading an article in Writer’s Digest about how well Pinterest can really work for and benefit writers and help them to become even more visible in the virtual world, I began to look at more articles online about Pinterest and how it works.

The more I read the more intrigued I became and the more I started to realize that I might actually like using Pinterest. I get to create a visual representation of who I am and it could also help me present a visual storyboard of my novels as I create them to my intended readers. I get to put myself out there into the virtual world in a way that if my words don’t convey who I really am, the pictures will.

So I am now a new Pinterest user and although I only currently have 2 boards created, I have several more in mind already and I am actually excited to put my boards together. Now I still have a long way to go in learning how to make social media really work for me and I will most likely be kicking and screaming as I do it (lol) but now I feel like I finally have a piece of social media I can actually tolerate and even (heaven forbid) like.

Of course I have no way of knowing whether or not Pinterest will actually work for me the way it seems to be working for everyone else that I see using it but I am going to give it all the effort that I can give it and stay positive for a successful outcome. I hope you guys will check me out on Pinterest and anyone who is also on Pinterest, I would love to check you out as well.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

The First Time Around

August 14, 2012 jcladyluv

Ever wonder what might have been different if all of the opportunities that you have been given, you had got it right the first time around? If you had the money to do everything that you need and want to do to become successful would you actually be doing them right now instead of just wishing you could be doing them?

I’ve been thinking a lot about the things that I need to do to get things going the way that I need them to be going and how the lack of money has held me up from actually following through with a lot of those things. I’ve also been thinking about all of the opportunities that I have had that could have enabled me to be in a different place right now that I have just somehow squandered away. What kind of difference would it make if I had got it all right the first time around?

If I had finished college the first time I went and completed my degrees then, instead having to work extra hard to try and finish them up now, so late in the game, then I might already be working in the media industry now as I have always dreamed of. I might have already moved to New York like I wanted to all those years ago so that I can be surrounded by exactly the right people I need to be surrounded by. I could have all the right contacts and connections and I would already have my foot in the door that I am trying hard to kick down now.

I could have learned from the best how to be the best and already be halfway up the ladder by now instead of still being on the second or third rung. I probably would already be on some New York Time’s best sellers list and I probably would have already had about three or four novels out by now because I would not have had any other responsibilities to worry about other then myself and my work. I could have already achieved so much by now if I had only done things right the first time around.

Money would most likely not be an issue (being a New York Time’s best seller and all and working as an editor for a publishing company while freelancing for some of the most prestigious magazines that are housed in New York) so I would not have any problem trying to get my own media empire started because with only myself as a responsibility and my work of course, I could put away money towards that empire and the things that I need to do for it. Life could be so different right now.

But the catch to all of that what if stuff is that if all of that had transpired (so-called) right the first time around, then I wouldn’t have met my daughter’s father and I wouldn’t have my wonderful, beautiful, and intelligent daughter who I would not trade for any amount of money, success, or fame. She is the reason that I get up in the morning and I really have a hard time trying to ever envision my life without her in it. She makes me want to fight harder to get things back on track and to make sure that she never gets off track. But also she is proof to me that sometimes what you think would have turned out better if it had been done right the first time around, might not actually be the case.

I don’t even know if all of that would have come to be without her coming along in my life, but I do know that the possibility is not lost. I also know that she has enriched my life in ways that I think make me a better writer and a better person. We can always wonder what would be different if we had another attempt at doing things all over again but when you really think about it, perhaps what you considered to be right in the first place was all wrong for you. Perhaps for our second shot at things, rather then wishing we could go back and do things differently we should treat our new opportunities as if they are what’s right for us now. Let’s try not looking back at a past we can’t change, but instead looking forward to a future that was meant to be.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Is a Writer’s Desk Ever Really Free of Clutter?

August 9, 2012 jcladyluv

It’s about that time for the re-organization fairy to come in and clean my office area again. Okay no really it seems like it needs to be done every three or four months and I don’t know about anyone else but it is hard to work in clutter, especially when it is clutter of your own making.

My clutter comes from piling the incoming mail into my little inbox trays and letting it all stack up each and every week without ever tossing any of the junk that needs to be trashed out. It also comes from trying to work on more than a few projects at one time so therefore everything in reference to each project, research, outlines and things of that nature, end up in a pile to the side of my desk and it starts to look a little bit similar to the mail file, accept none of it is junk.

It is time for me to get my desk back in the order that I would like it to be in and this time devise a plan for it to stay that way. But am I kidding myself to think that my desk can ever really remain clean and orderly? Perhaps a writer’s desk is never truly clean of all clutter but when it starts to hinder the progress that you are making (or rather not making) then it becomes a problem.

It’s so distracting that I have not even really done work at my desk for the last few weeks. I’ve simply gathered up my laptop, and my notepad and notes on certain projects and toted them out to my dining room table, which is nice and clean, and I work there but I am really starting to miss my desk.

I miss my chair (well currently it’s broke thanks to my daughter hopping in and out of it like it’s a bean-bag chair) and more importantly I miss feeling like a successful writer/business woman working in her own office (area). That’s what working at my desk does for me. I’ve seen pictures of writers working happily in a cluttered space and they genuinely look happy and at peace with the mess. I just don’t know how they do it. I suppose I should be happy that I’ve been doing a good job of working on my novel for Camp NaNoWriMo so I can’t say that the dining room table is a bad fix but, I miss my desk.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

There is No Comparison To Be Made

August 6, 2012 jcladyluv

So I have begun CampNaNoWriMo as of last Wednesday and I was right that it would help me get focused again on my novel. I haven’t necessarily written the amount of words I should have written by this point but I have gotten back into the story and my mind has started swirling ideas around regarding the outcome of my character.

My words are coming along much better then I thought they would but I do still have that feeling every once and a while of wishing that I could write like…well any of the writers who crank out more than three or four novels in a year. That list would contain some of my favorites like Joyce Carol Oates and James Patterson and Eric Jerome Dickey and Zane.

I keep thinking to myself I wish I could do whatever it is that they do to produce the amount of work that they produce. Then I remind myself that I have to stop comparing myself to other writers because I am not them, but rather the best version of myself that I can be. I do that a lot you know. Think that so many other people have it better than I do and have so much more than I do or that they seem to be able to be so much better at writing or succeeding in general than I am.

I try not to compare having the old saying in the back of my mind that the grass is not always greener on the other side, but it’s hard when you see others who just look like they have it all, like they have all the answers to the questions that I keep asking. But just like other people don’t know my story and my struggles, I do not know theirs either. I don’t know what they had to go through to get where they are and what they have to continue going through now that they’ve gotten where I seemingly would like to be.

It is a slow process but I am learning to take stock in what I have and what I can do because the truth is that there is no comparison to be made here. I am me, not anybody else and what I have is for me to have or for me to struggle with. I have to keep in mind that I shouldn’t wish for anyone else’s journey. These struggles and this journey of mine is what was meant for me to travel and I am going to take stock in every bump in the road along the way until I get to the destination that was meant for me.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Are You Living Your Life Or The Life Someone Else Thinks You Should Be Living?

August 2, 2012 jcladyluv

I love my emails that I get from the Tyler Perry mailing list. I swear it’s as if he knows when I need to hear a specific message and writes them just for me. Like he was somehow the vessel that God chose (one of the many vessels) to send me a very bold and clear message. He sent a message that didn’t mince words and didn’t beat around the bush by sugar coating things. The subject title in this particular email was simple: Don’t let anybody define you!

His email talked about how when he was a young boy he had so many people tell him that he would never make it, that he would never become a millionaire because he was black or because he was poor. Among those many people there was actually a teacher and even some of his family. I understood exactly what he was talking about because I have always been told that I would never amount to anything by the one person who is supposed to think the world of me, my mother.

Now there are plenty of others who have said things like I dream too big, and I am never going to become successful, and I’m always going to be in a state of struggle, and basically that all of my efforts to become successful and to build my own company doing what I love to do and what I know is meant for me to do are for nothing. I would like to say that I haven’t listened to those words of discouragement and that I responded to those negative voices in a way that Tyler Perry did, by ignoring them and doing it anyway. But I can’t say that because I have spent the better part of my life trying to defy what I was told I couldn’t do all the while, deep down, believing in what those voices were saying.

I have since learned to tune out those voices (for the most part anyway) but every once and a while, mostly when I have a new idea or a new way to develop and produce the ideas I already have, those voices do get deep inside my head and sometimes they even manage to convince me that they are right, but only for a little while. When I read this message from Tyler Perry, it came after I had just finished brainstorming an idea with Ms. L. on how to bring one of my dreams on my list of accomplishments to fruition and those doubts began to creep in on whether or not I could really do this.

I shared some brief ideas with another person that I thought could possibly help me in one area of making my idea a reality but they essentially told me every possible thing that could go wrong and that could keep me from being able to do it. Not what I needed to hear. I know everything that can go wrong. I know that I am operating on little to no money most times and that my credit might not be so hot to a bank or possible investors. So What?

I am finally starting to realize that if I am constantly waiting for the money fairy to rain some money on my dream then I might never make it happen. I have to have faith that it will happen, not just because it is a really good idea, but because it was what was meant for me to do. God didn’t give me this gift for nothing and he sure doesn’t expect me to waste it. So I’m not going to waste it.

It’s hard to think that you have to tune out the people who are supposed to be close to you but if they can’t support me in living the life that I want to live then I don’t need to listen to words that aren’t driving me forward. I’m done living the way everyone else thinks I should. I can’t live the life other people would rather me live because that wasn’t the life that was meant for me. Whose life are you living, yours or someone else’s?

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

What’s Your Motivation When the Odds Are Stacked Against You?

July 30, 2012 jcladyluv

I read a blog post the other day that asked the question ‘Is having something to prove a good enough reason to do something?’ When I read the post the blogger discussed how perhaps we should not use someone telling us that we can’t achieve something or someone’s negativity altogether to influence or motivate whether or not we in fact decide to go after what it is that we want. She stated that people pleasing was something not to get caught up in. Initially I felt that she might have a point to that statement and that people’s sheer passion for doing something should be enough to ‘just do it’ and that it shouldn’t take someone else telling us no or rejecting our passion for us to go at it full force.

But then I realized something. Isn’t that the nature of how dreams are realized, and how businesses are built, and how people are made to be successful? I mean of course you dream something and naturally you want to achieve that dream no matter what and when you start a business you hopefully are starting that business because it is something that you’ve always wanted to do. But if you listen to a lot of successful people talk about how they got there and how they accomplished their dreams and started their businesses, a lot of it had something to do with what someone told them they would never be able to do.

Think of how many singers and film stars were told no, and how many times they were told no, and how many people even told them that they were crazy to think they would ever really make it. Now think about how that just fired them up to going after that dream with even more force and more drive. Think about Tyler Perry and Oprah Winfrey and Steve Jobs, and Bill Gates and how many people told them they would never make it and that they would never see their dreams become a reality and how those words must have fueled the fire that was already lit underneath them.

I remember hearing an interview once about an entrepreneur going after their dream and starting their own company (can’t quite remember who at this exact moment) and when they were asked what made them go after their goal when all of the odds were stacked against them, their response was simply ‘someone told me I couldn’t have it’. It’s amazing what someone telling you NO will do for your drive and ambition to prove them wrong and get what you want in spite of all the odds stacked against you. I hate to be told NO but if I really think about it, when I do get to where I want to be in life, those No’s will be what made me so fiercely determined to prove everyone who said I couldn’t do it wrong.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”