Tag: Fear

https://jccarpenter.substack.com/

The Re-Run That Most of Us Never Asked For

November 6, 2024 jcladyluv

I would say this feels like 2016 all over again, except this feels much worse. I have been trying to figure out how to convey what I’m feeling into words all night and all morning and to say I am deeply saddened, thoroughly disgusted, and extremely terrified would be a gross understatement. Maya Angelou has a famous quote that says if someone shows you who they are, believe them. He showed us who he was, and I believe him. Now the vast majority of American people have showed me who they really are by voting this vile, disgusting, trash human being into office.

Let’s tell the truth right here and right now. It was never about Biden’s age because that man is about to be the oldest President this country has ever had. It’s not about the economy because world renowned economists have said that man’s economic plan for his second term will likely send this country into an economic downward spiral. It’s the racism and misogyny of it all. The people in this supposed great country would rather put a rapist, twice impeached, CONVICTED FELON, in office then elect a more than competent, highly capable woman of color. But y’all want us to just move on from that like it’s nothing.

People chose to put money over human rights. You felt better under Trump’s economy, but apparently you’re forgetting that his economy was the one he inherited from Obama. And because the amazing things Biden did for this economy will only start to take effect and be felt more in the next four years, once again you will be fooled into thinking that somehow it was this man’s economic plan that did it and just disregard what Biden actually did for this country. When your daughters, wives, sisters, and mothers, have their healthcare put in jeopardy because of this man’s stance on women having autonomy over their own bodies, just remember this is what you wanted.

I am worried about mine and my daughter’s rights. I am worried about our healthcare. I am worried about our quality of life being people of color in this country. I am worried about my friends who are also people of color. I am worried about my friends who are in the LGBTQ community that they won’t feel safe anywhere they go. I am worried for my friends who are immigrants or have loved ones in their lives that are immigrants. I am worried about my friends with varying disabilities, that they won’t be able to have the heath care that they not only need but deserve to have. Frankly, I am worried about this country as a whole.

I am a fighter so I know that I will get to a point where I can move past this despair that I feel to my core. However, that is not where I am at today, right now, and in this moment. Today I am feeling discouraged, I am feeling let down, and I am feeling all kinds of betrayed. I am feeling disgusted, I am feeling enraged. And I am going to let myself have these feelings today, hell maybe even tomorrow, or the rest of the week.

That said, the fight is definitely not over, and as the woman who should have been our next President said over the course of her campaign, ‘When we fight we win’ and while that win may not come for another 2 years (mid-term elections for Congress) or even another 4 years, the fight is only just beginning. We have so much more work to do to make this country what it should and could be. Stay strong everyone.

Until next time… #BeStrong #BeBrave #BeDetermined #WhenWeFightWeWin

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Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

https://jccarpenter.substack.com/

Hello November! Time to Play Catch Up

November 1, 2023 jcladyluv

I know I don’t usually write a blog post on a Wednesday, but I haven’t written to you guys in a while, and I figured that today was as good a time as any to catch you up on things in my little corner of the world. I’m still without a home and as much as I would like to be optimistic and say things are looking up, I don’t feel that in this moment of my writing this. I haven’t given up hope or anything, it’s just that the situation is wearing me down in a way I would care not to admit. But here is where I admit the scary things that I don’t like to say out loud to my closest friends (and yes, I understand the irony of me not saying things out loud to people I know yet screaming it into the void that is the Internet lol).

I’m always seen as the positive one and while most days that is me and I do like to keep a positive tone, that just can’t be me every day. I also forget to mention that a little over two weeks ago I had emergency surgery. Yep, as if I didn’t have enough to deal with, I now have to deal with recovering from surgery. I suppose it’s the Universe’s way of sitting me down and giving me a way to rest my body, my spirit, and my soul but it sure picked a very odd time to sit me down in a time in which I need to be on the go to figure out next steps.

I don’t know, perhaps it was its way of really making me be still and letting God do His work in whatever way that shaped up to be. I have caught up on an enormous amount of rest, so I suppose there’s that. I feel more rested now than I have in years. The brain fog from the surgery doesn’t really help with my creativity but I am starting to feel that slowly come back as well (hence me being able to write up this post). I guess I can say that I am hanging in there but it’s by a very thin thread and I’m not sure how much longer I can hold on. I’m doing my best and that’s all I can do right now.Anywho, it’s November now and that means it is NaNoWriMo season in which millions of writers are just disillusioned enough to think they can write an entire novel in a month (just kidding about the disillusionment, it’s totally doable lol) so they sign up for 30 days of writing nearly 2,000 words a day until the task is done.

Normally I would be (officially) participating in this event but as you might guess, this year has kicked my behind and I just don’t have it in me to do it this year. Well at least not officially. That’s to say I can’t help myself and am deciding to be a rebel of sorts and unofficially do NaNo and will work on finally finishing up the revisions on my novel that was technically supposed to be published by now (more on that in another post).

So that’s what my November is going to look like. An unofficial NaNo revision project and finishing up my recovery from surgery. I know I normally set far more monthly goals for myself, but I think those two are good enough this month. I hope you all are well and if you are participating in NaNo let me know. I hope to write again a lot sooner.

Until next time… #BeAuthentic #BeEmpowered #BeFearless

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Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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The Struggle Has Never Been More Real

June 26, 2023 jcladyluv

Excuse me while I get a little real for a moment. It’s been a rough month to say the least. I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t struggling, not just financially, or physically, but mentally. As I feel the depression setting in I try to deny it’s presence but it’s pretty hard to hide what everyone else can see so clearly. Last week I said in one of my videos that I felt like I was in a tunnel and I just couldn’t see the light at the end of it right now. That was the moment I stopped denying that I was, in fact, depressed.

Logically I know that with everything I have gone through in the last month I have every right to be depressed but the irrational part of me is just like, no depression this is not the time for you to appear. I have too much to fix and to straighten out to get depressed right now. I don’t know what to do. I’ve never been in this position before and I never thought I would be. I feel like such a failure and like I’ve let anyone who has ever seen potential in me down, at the top of that list is myself and my daughter.

I wanted to post something happy and optimistic today and I know there’s still some positivity deep down inside me but right now I just need to get this out and essentially scream into the void, so to speak, how I’m really feeling. The positive me will return by my next post, I’m sure, but real life is full of ups and downs and I always promised to be my most authentic self in the spaces that I hold so this is me, telling you all, how I’m really doing right now. I am not okay.

Until next time… #BeVulnerable #BeBrave #BeMindful

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Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

Movement is Never Optional

February 27, 2023 jcladyluv

If you have been following along with my blog for a considerable length of time, then you know that I am allergic to change. I say allergic jokingly but really, I am so averse to change that it nearly sends me into full blown anxiety attacks when my routines and things that I’ve grown accustomed to being a certain way have to change. Either an anxiety attack or emotional meltdowns. It’s not a good thing by any means and I know that regulating my emotions and dealing with inevitable change is something that I should have learned to be alright with by now but alas I have not gotten to that place yet. Not sure that I ever truly will.

This is the reason why change is one of the things I talk about so much on this blog (that and fear). The way that people have to work on being disciplined in any one area, or work on keeping things clean, or their issues with time management (shoot that’s another problem I have lol), is the same way that I have to consciously work on dealing with change. Simply put, my natural personality does not adjust well to change on its own, so I have to forcefully adjust myself to the things around me that need to change.

I don’t always realize when a situation needs to be altered, when there needs to be some movement forward in a certain area of my life. I often have to have things crash in around me before my brain says okay you’ve fought this point of change for a long time now, so it’s time to just adjust. This is the point where movement is no longer optional. The point where if I don’t actively and intentionally make the decision to move forward, life is going to move me regardless, but just not in the direction I wish to go. It will move me backward.

We never want to move backwards in life because then the journey is just made to take that much longer. I truly think that if I hadn’t been so resistant to changes and to moving overall, that I could possibly be much farther ahead on this road that I’m on by now. The fear of changing (there’s that fear I talked about earlier) paralyzes and causes me to stand still a lot more than I should. Now in some instances standing still can be a good thing, but usually it’s when you want to take in all that has progressed around you, not to keep from progressing period.

A lot of the time when I think about the word movement I only think about physical movement, as in exercise. Because I suffer from chronic pain and am in some level of pain almost every single day (some days are level 1 or 2 and others are level 10 pain) I have this thing where I look for days where movement can be optional. However, I never really thought about movement in general terms for life. I didn’t think about the fact that for career success, for getting goals accomplished, for just attaining your dreams, you have no choice but to move. If you don’t, your dreams and your passions in life become stagnant. They stand still.

And that stillness doesn’t just affect you. It affects every life you and your dreams were meant to touch. So, the next time you think about just standing still and giving up, or even if you’re someone who, like me, is averse to change, just remember that if you don’t move forward, it doesn’t protect you in any way. It just keeps you stuck, in the same place, doing the same things, never growing, and never changing. So don’t hold yourself back simply by being afraid to just move.

Until next time… #BeMindful #BeCourageous #BeBold

Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

To Pretend or Not to Pretend…That is the Question?

October 24, 2022October 24, 2022 jcladyluv

I did a lot of pretending when I was younger. In elementary school I had to pretend the home I went back to everyday wasn’t broken and abusive. In high school I had to pretend I was not crumbling on the inside and like I wasn’t constantly thinking of ways to just end it all. In college and early adulthood, like most young adults, I had to pretend that I knew what the hell I was doing. With people I came in contact with back then I would pretend that I was outgoing and like I thrived on being around lots of people when in reality people drained me and any creative energy I had, and I really just wanted to be left alone. Not alone in some lonely, woe is me type of way either, but rather in a way that actually refilled my creative well.

I mean that’s what life is mostly isn’t it. Pretending! Going along to get along. Trying to fit in with people you probably don’t actually like just so that they don’t classify you as difficult, weird and awkward or just think that something is wrong with you altogether. You pretend to understand things you really don’t because you don’t want to appear like you aren’t knowledgeable and capable. It gets to be a little tiring to pretend all the time. To always have to be “on” and faking that you feel something you don’t or faking that you’re happy if you’re not.

When you get to a certain point in life you just want to be surrounded by people and live a life where you can just simply be. Where you can express how you feel about something or someone without having to hide your emotions and feelings. Where you don’t have to apologize for being a person who wears their heart on their sleeve and whose emotions show up all over your face. You want to not have to explain yourself to people who you thought you didn’t have to explain anything to because it was thought to believe that you were accepted just the way you were.

The simple truth is, at least the truth that I’m coming to realize, is true acceptance doesn’t really exist. No matter what situation you find yourself in, no matter what circle of people you surround yourself with, there is always going to have to be some manner of pretending. Sometimes it hurts to realize that but it’s best to live in reality than to have blinders on and think something is true that isn’t. Even those that are closest to you, that are your closest friends, aren’t going to always accept everything there is about you. We are all deeply flawed, and sometimes vastly broken individuals and that means we have things about us that others just can’t come to terms with and that they would rather adjust or change about you than just simply accept without question.

Let’s be honest, you probably have some things that you would change about the people in your life as well. I suppose the real question is who in your life are you willing to make adjustments for and who are you willing to pretend around? Can you really ever go through life without having to pretend something? Is there ever going to come a time in life where you can remove the mask and just be yourself without having to rationalize who you are to those you love and call friends and found family? I thought it was possible but now I’m not so sure. I guess the jury is still out on that one and only time will truly tell.

Until next time… #BeBold #BeFearless #BeYou

Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

Are We Going To Just Stare At the Wall or Find A Way To Climb Over It?

June 20, 2022June 21, 2022 jcladyluv

I’ve been staring at a wall lately and that wall has time written all over it. Time is not my friend. There is never enough of it and yet it feels like the time I do have can’t be adequately balanced in a satisfactory manner. I’ve been struggling lately with this balancing time thing with taking on something non-creative in order to pay the bills and having the creative side of me, that being writing which is like air to me, suffer drastically.

I mean I won’t say that I’m not able to write ever, but it’s a far cry from the amount of time I was once able to put into my writing and as I said, writing is like air to me so right now I quite literally feel like I am not able to breathe. I feel like I’m suffocating and all I can think about is writing but it’s the one thing I’m unable to do as freely as I need to. But I think that I’m looking at this the wrong way.

I’m staring at the wall and instead of figuring out a way over or around that wall I am just stuck, looking up at this massive road block, and wondering what the hell am I going to do. I’m not going to pretend I have the answer for this problem at this exact moment but I do know that giving up is not an option. We spend so much time staring at the wall rather than climbing over that wall and that is tantamount to giving up. I say we because I can’t be the only one who gets stuck at the road blocks that you come across.

Your wall may not be writing. It could be whatever you’re most passionate about and have been struggling to weave it into your schedule. If you are struggling too then I want you to know that you’re not alone and that we are going to climb this wall together because quitting is never an option when your dreams are waiting for you beyond that wall. We may need some time to assess the wall, to make a plan of action on how we are going to get over or around that wall, but one way or another, we will overcome the wall that is blocking our way.

Until next time… #BePatient #BePersistent #BeDetermined

Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

Give Up What is Weighing You Down

April 4, 2022 jcladyluv

It is not easy being a creative entrepreneur. Yes, I know being an entrepreneur period is hard work but when you are a creative individual you are not only expelling all of your emotional and mental energy into what you are passionate about. You are also having to tap into a business mindset that, if you’re anything like me, just isn’t something that is second nature to you. I think for creative individuals what stands in our way more than anything is our own self-doubt and lack of confidence in our ability to conquer the things that don’t come natural for us (like business know how and anything related to math in general lol). We get so hung up on what we think we can’t do that we lose sight and focus of what we can do.

So much of what holds us back from living up to our full potential can typically be relegated to an extension of one thing, fear. Whether it’s a fear of failure, a fear of success, a fear of change, fears of financial ambiguity, fears of disappointing either the people in our lives or ourselves, or just a fear of what is unknown. We come up on these boulders (obstacles) sitting there in the road, standing in the way of us getting to our destination. It seems immovable at first because we’re just seeing this obstacle that is taking up the entire space of the road and that instant feeling of defeat sets in. We spend so much time focusing on the boulder (obstacle) itself that we don’t even realize that if we just give it everything we have inside of us to move it, if we just physically push it off to the side of the road, then we can continue on the journey to reaching our goal.

Fear is that boulder in the space of our minds. It can take up so much space in our head, forcing us to lose focus on whatever particular thing we are fearful of in that moment. It can overwhelm us so much that we don’t even realize that if we just tackle that fear head on, just give it everything we have and push past it, then we can move that fear aside (at least for that moment anyway) and continue pushing through to accomplish our dreams.

Fear is a heavy burden to carry. It weighs on us like that immovable boulder. It starts to seep into our everyday lives until we are afraid to do just about anything that will move us forward. Fear likes it when we are comfortable because when we get comfortable then we never truly grow and we stay stuck right where the fear wants us to stay. Still. So if we want to succeed at all of those dreams we’re so passionate about, then we have to give up all of those fears that keep us weighed down and tethered to that box we get so comfortable staying in. In order to fly, to really soar beyond our wildest dreams and imaginations, we have to be willing to let go of all of that dead weight.

Until next time… #BeBold #BeCourageous #BeFearless

Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

It’s Not in How You Failed, It’s in the Way You Keep Trying

February 21, 2022 jcladyluv

“My greatest concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure.”

~Abraham Lincoln

Feeling like a failure is inevitable. At some stage in your life, depending on how ambitious your goals truly are, you will repeatedly try new things and while some of them will work out brilliantly, some of them won’t. Trial and error is a very normal part of life but sometimes those errors just seem like they keep coming, one after another, after another. To put it plain and simple, failure can be, at times, relentless and exhausting. Last week I felt like I was failing at life in general but specifically in the area of my writing business.

However, I was reminded last night when I was watching the History Channel’s Documentary on Abraham Lincoln just how much failure is ultimately a part of eventual success. After all, Abraham Lincoln had a lot of losses and he suffered from severe depression after a lot of those losses. But what he never did was give up. He never gave in to those losses and he kept trying. In the end he still won the ultimate goal he was going after, being the office of the Presidency.

I suppose I keep thinking about failure in the wrong manner. I tend to think of failure as this immovable boulder that just abruptly landed right on my path to my goals and me not being strong enough to lift it out of my way or to even work around it. Therefore, it leaves me stuck right where I am, most likely feeling weak and incapable. Of course, that’s not the way that failure should be looked at.

What failure really amounts to are mistakes that can and should be used as lessons to navigate us through the rest of the journey forward so that we, provided we actually learn from those particular failures, can avoid making the same mistakes again. Failures allow us to know what we are doing wrong so that we can course correct and get things right. I know I’ve written this before and perhaps I repeat it because I need to keep reminding myself as well (because on the really hard days I tend to forget) but if you are failing it generally means that you at the very least, tried to do something in the first place and as long as you are trying you are not failing.

It’s all about mindset and the ability we have to change ours. Instead of seeing the obstacle on the road, we need to see the multiple paths that lead us around that obstacle. They are detours from what you originally had planned but they are alternate paths that still can lead you to where you want to go with knowledge you didn’t have before. You will still have that lesson that you learned to carry with you into the next stage of the journey and with each mistake you may make, you will pick up even more knowledge. The key is seeing the mini failures along the way as opportunities and not necessarily as obstacles that need to be dodged. Just remember, when you are feeling like everything is going wrong and you aren’t getting anywhere, that you are not alone and that trying is what matters most.

Until next time… #BePersistent #BeResilient #BeFearless

Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

Give Yourself Some Grace

February 7, 2022 jcladyluv

The mind is a funny thing. Sometimes you can find yourself slip back into old habits and old ways of thinking without even realizing it. I try to maintain optimistic because my spirituality has been a way for me to be assured that everything is going to work out the way that it is supposed to in the end. However, lately I have heard myself sink back into my old ways of thinking and have found myself saying things like ‘I know that the other shoe is going to drop soon’, or ‘when it rains, it pours, or just yesterday I said ‘the Universe is working against me’.

Now instinctively I know and believe deep in my heart that God is going to make sure that I’m okay, even if things don’t go as I planned them to, or even remotely the way that I want them to. But my old anxiety and self doubt creep in and I realize I still have some work to do to get rid of that self-sabotaging nature. Without realizing it, I have been, once again, giving power to fear and doubt about what I am capable of achieving.

I think that it gets lost on some, those who don’t struggle with mental health issues or constant anxiety and overwhelming and crippling fear, just how hard it can be to stay in a positive mindset. I constantly get from people how positive I am and I don’t mind that at all but make no mistake, it is work to try and keep a positive frame of mind. Some days are astronomically harder than others and the good days can start to feel like they don’t happen often enough.

I’m writing this post today because I want people to give themselves grace, as I am trying to give myself some. Grace when you’re not feeling at your best. Grace to make the mistakes you need to make so that you can do it better the next time. Give yourselves grace to let yourself cry when you feel like it. Allow yourself some grace to just be honest when you’re not doing okay to be able to say so without any feelings of guilt. Give yourself grace to, on those days when things are just too overwhelming, simply do nothing but be.

Until next time… #BePatient #BeCourageous #BeKindToYourself

Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine