Tag: Oprah Winfrey

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Somewhere Hidden In the Scraps

April 16, 2012 jcladyluv

“Miracles always begin with recognition of what you have; if you don’t recognize what you have, you can never multiply what you have not recognized.”

~Bishop T.D. Jakes

There are some writers that will always tell other aspiring writers that they are never supposed to throw anything away. That whatever you create should be held onto. There are those scraps of paper that you set to the side whenever your idea doesn’t pan out the way you thought it would.

There’s that opening scene that you decided that you weren’t crazy about once you had completed it. Even the novel that you, for some unknown reason, stopped working on halfway through it and have just set to the side never to be seen again for years, possibly decades. I firmly believe in never throwing things away but not just for the sake of holding onto things and not being able to let go but because you never know what treasures lie in those scraps of paper that you are thinking about throwing away.

Those scraps of paper may not have been right for what you initially intended it for but they might be perfect for some other project down the line. That scene may not have fit that particular story but could find a home in the next one. That unfinished novel that is still sitting and collecting dust may just be waiting for the right time for you to be ready to finish it and it could be the next great novel the world is waiting to read.

Last week I wrote a post that mentioned some segments from a sermon given by Bishop T.D. Jakes that was featured on a particular episode of Oprah’s Next Chapter. I had only captured certain pieces of that sermon on the show but this morning I went back and listened to it in its entirety and got so much more out of it then I did before. His specific message was on saving the scraps (our past burdens) and it was centered around a passage from the bible taken from Mark6:42-52.

In his sermon he said that “The miracle is not in what you lost, the miracle is not in what you have consumed previously, your best days are not your yesterdays, your miracles are in what you have left. If you discard it, ignore it, don’t use it, don’t value it, don’t learn from it, don’t understand it, you will lose the battle before you because you did not learn from the battle behind you. – That which remains is more valuable than that which was lost.”

He talked about us taking our scraps and using them to enable us to power through and forge ahead. To use them as our learning tools that eventually become our blessings. “Your power is not in where you are, your power is in where you’ve been” and if you don’t recognize and hold onto the place that you were once at you can not truly appreciate the place where you are now.

Bishop T.D. Jakes closed his sermon by saying to those who have been broken, that the problem is that you have not considered the scraps that God has given you. If you had considered the scraps then you would already know and trust that you are safe. That it is not what you go through, but rather how you perceive what you go through.

I am very aware of the fact that I need to learn how to appreciate the scraps of my life instead of continuing to try and bury them. True gratitude comes in the appreciation of the fact that those scraps have been the reason for more than my fair share of blessings. Like it or not those scraps are what makes me who I am. They’re what make you who you are too.

When you look back at the things that you have been through and on the lows that you have been in, you have to know that God would not have put you through those things if he did not have a plan to bring you to higher ground. Your blessings are hidden in what you’ve already experienced and been through, in the lessons that life has already been teaching you. Your blessings are hidden in the scraps of it all.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Being Broken Down To Be Blessed On the Way Back Up

April 10, 2012 jcladyluv

“God never intended for you to go through something and get nothing out of it.”

~Bishop T.D. Jakes

Sometimes I have days where I feel encouraged and empowered. My writing flows, my productivity is better then average and I feel like I am going to get to my destination. Then there are other days when my writing is not going as smoothly, there is no productivity and my destination seems further and further away. Those are the days that I just feel broken down. I try to think of the wise people who tell me that it’s not going to always be that way but the message never came across to me as clear as it did the other night when I was watching Oprah’s Next Chapter where she did a sit down interview with Bishop T.D. Jakes.

Now anyone who knows me well enough (either personally or through this blog) knows that I am spiritual but I am not necessarily terribly religious. Meaning I don’t necessarily believe that I have to go to a building (i.e. church) to get the word that God is trying to communicate to me. But every once and a while I will see and hear a Pastor, Preacher, or in this case Bishop say something on television that will make me wish that their church was within my reach so that I could go get that message in person.

On Oprah’s Next Chapter when Bishop T.D. Jakes told his congregation that “The blessing is in the breaking; that, which refuses to be broken refuses to be blessed; It is the breaking of life that produces the blessing of life.” I felt as if that message was meant for me. Now I know I wasn’t even there, and this was after all a repeat on TV so it wasn’t even live, but yet I felt like I was directed to watch it for a specific reason; because it’s what I needed to hear.

I always see my breaking points as my own little personal failures but I suppose the truth is that they are the foundations for my future successes. They are the models of what I need to look at so that I know not to repeat the same process that got me to that point in the first place. They are lessons for me to learn from, not mistakes for me to forever regret.

Bishop T.D. Jakes also said “The most blessed people I have ever met in my life have gone through something that broke them.” In essence, adversity breeds success and a multitude of blessings. If you look at the most successful people, they didn’t get to that place without having to be broken down at some point in their lives. Why should I be any different? Why should I expect to get to the level of success I know I am destined for without having to go through the trials and tribulations to get there?

The words I heard him speaking were so powerful and so profound and while I realize this is not the first time I have heard that message, this is the first time I have believed the words as I said them to myself. Building up any business that you want to have takes a certain amount of tenacity and drive. However, when it comes to building up a business that is centered around your love of writing and your sense of purpose, it takes guts, and courage, but most importantly belief in yourself and in the very words that you speak. The words you say are very important and you never know who your particular message might touch, giving them the strength to not stay broken so that they won’t miss their blessings.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Have You Danced With Your Fears Yet?

April 3, 2012 jcladyluv

“Let fear be a counselor and not a jailer.”

~Anthony Robbins

I know that I seem to talk about fear on this blog a lot but I feel that it is so prevalent right now and fear can be so paralyzing when you have no outlet for it. This is my outlet.

I realized last night that I am so much more crippled by fear then I could see. I was watching Oprah’s life class last night on her network and she just so happened to be talking about living fearlessly. Her guest, motivational speaker Tony Robbins, talked about dancing with your fear (facing them) and that fear is really about changing your story and your state of mind.

He talked about everyone having a story that they keep telling themselves, whether it is that you are worthless or that you are just always going to fail or many other negative things we tell ourselves. He recited a quote that if you tell yourself a lie enough times then you start to believe it, so if your story that you’ve been telling yourself for years is that you are never going to succeed or be anything, eventually you will begin to actually believe it. His theory is that if you change your story, make it more of an affirmation of what you are going to do and who you are going to be, then you change your state of mind and you will begin to believe it.

Oprah posed the question to her audience and those watching at home, “what is the story you’ve been telling yourself all these years?” I thought about it and when I talked to Ms. L. I realized what it was. Not only am I afraid that if I try to really accomplish my dreams it is just going to eventually fail, but I am also afraid of the other end of the spectrum. That I will actually succeed and begin to make that climb up the ladder and that I might do one little thing to mess it all up and end up right back where I started, at the bottom. I’m afraid of the not knowing and of the changes that will come. I’m afraid that I will prove to all of the people who said I would never be anything, that they were right.

Tony Robbins also said something else that rung true to me after he said it. He stated that sometimes we want those fears because it protects us from having to step into the unknown. I was never a completely fearless person, I always tended to be moderately cautious, but I never used to be that person that was so intensely afraid of change and all of the unknown things that are out there that I would sabotage my own self but somehow I have become that person.

So how do I get back to that person who not only accepted change, but welcomed it? How do I become that brave artist again that didn’t care (at least as far as my writing went) about what anyone had to say?

I suppose that “dancing with my fear” is a start. If I don’t face them head on and stop pretending that they do indeed exist then I am never going to remove those fears from my subconscious and my life. Fear can really be crippling and it can have the power to kill your dreams, if you let it. But I’m not going to let it. Thank you for letting me express my fears here to all of you. Knowing I can be vulnerable here helps a lot in the furthering of my dreams.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Even an Icon Like Oprah Can Have Fear

April 2, 2012 jcladyluv

“The thing you fear most has no power. Your fear of it is what has the power. Facing the truth really will set you free.”

~Oprah Winfrey

This morning Oprah was on the CBS This Morning show and she was promoting her network, OWN. She talked about a lot of different things but one thing that struck me was when she admitted that if she knew then (when starting the network) what she knows now she probably wouldn’t have done it (or at least not at the time that she did it). She acknowledged that when she launched her network she was not ready. In fact that was one of the lessons that she took away from her process of starting the network, that you shouldn’t launch something just because you already gave a date to everyone else if you are not ready to.

That was both shocking and admirable to me and just made me want to model my business sense (that I am still trying to mold) after the road she has already paved for the women coming after her even more. She spoke of the critics in the press who have criticized her brave but somewhat dismal start to her cable network, and one headline, “Oprah not quite standing on her OWN”, that she tries not to let dictate whether she is in fact succeeding or failing at her new endeavor. In her words, “it’s just press”. She said that because you fail at something (which her network is in no way failing) doesn’t mean that you are a failure.

It made me start to think about that good old fear of failure that I can’t seem to shake for the life of me. Why am I so afraid to fail? It’s not as if my failing at any given thing would mean that it’s the end of the road for me and my dreams. In my heart I know this but my head (or perhaps that little devilish angel sitting on my shoulder) keeps telling me that if I fail even one more time at something then that’s it, I’m just destined to be a failure. If only I could shake that demon trying to creep its way into my subconscious every time I think I’m going to get somewhere. But maybe that’s just it. Maybe it creeps in because I am getting somewhere.

My best friend, Ms. L. always says that when everything starts to begin to go wrong that she knows she must be doing something right. She says that it just means that the devil is working overtime to stop the progress she is making. And look at Ms. L., she just launched her magazine, PIEhole (of which I have an article in) and it’s taken off better than I think even she expected it to (although I knew it would). Although she never acknowledged being afraid as often as she probably was, she never let that fear stop her.

Hell, if Oprah can have the courage to admit that she was afraid of something (because it seems that she just does this stuff so fearlessly) but that she pressed on anyway, then why couldn’t that be my story down the line as well? I know that I would never want to be doing anything else and I truly feel as though God instilled in me this specific purpose and I owe it to him, if not myself, to see that purpose through. As Oprah also said in her interview, “There’s never going to be a time to quit. I will die in the midst of doing what I love to do and that is using my voice and using my life to try to inspire other people to live the best of theirs.”

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Is It Really Worth Taking the Leap?

March 21, 2012 jcladyluv

“Man cannot discover new oceans until he has courage to lose sight of the shore.”
~Unknown

So last week I sent off for some more of my books. I couldn’t get that many because, well, I just don’t have the cash flow right now to get a whole case load, but I got a few that I could sell to make some more ‘seed’ money. However, there are at least three books that I had planned on setting aside to send to three very important people (to me), Oprah Winfrey, Tyler Perry, and Zane.

Now I know what some people would think as they are reading this, ‘why send it to people who might never actually read it?’ It’s the same thing I was thinking at first but someone advised me that I never know whether they would read it or not, or whether someone on their staff would read it and like it enough to do things with it that I can’t do with it, not yet anyway. So I was anxiously waiting for my books and today they came (earlier then expected) and now I sit here rethinking whether I should send it to those three important people or not.

What if my book just sits in some pile of what they deem to be junk mail or ordinary fan mail and never gets looked at? What if they look at it and just toss it away in the trash somewhere? I mean who am I to them that they would find any interest in my book? What would they find so special about my book that they would pay attention to it? But then I am reminded of what I posted yesterday and what I am trying to put into a more consistent practice.

I have to step out on faith and believe in myself to know that not only am I good enough but my book is too, so why wouldn’t they want to pay attention to it. I said that this stepping out on faith thing was going to take me some time to actually do without questioning it. But then there are the questions that are going to pop into my head if I don’t send them off. What if they were to get my book, and read it, and love it? What if I would be passing up an opportunity that God is placing on my path? I guess I won’t find out exactly what would happen with my giant leap of faith if I never take that leap.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Sometimes the Mission Chooses You

March 19, 2012 jcladyluv

“You may think your actions are meaningless and that they won’t help, but that is no excuse, you must still act.”
~Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi

It’s hard for anyone to know as a small child what they will be when they grow up. Lots of children say they want to be a doctor or a teacher and then they change their minds when they find another thing they are more passionate about. Some children (like me) discover a passion and it never goes away. I’m not sure how many people aspired to be an activist when they were younger but it is amazing how the experiences in your childhood could fuel a mission that you never even knew was waiting for you.

When I was younger I was bullied and picked on a lot and not just by the kids at school. Mostly it was because of my weight but a lot of it was also because I didn’t necessarily fit in with the other kids at school. I was always a creative, artsy, type and most of the kids didn’t really understand me. I had hoped that when I had a child that the bullying would skip over her and that she would not have to endure that kind of hell. Unfortunately kids have not changed much since I was little, in fact, they’ve only gotten worse.

Seeing the bullying that goes on in today’s society makes what I went through (at least by the kids at school anyway) look like it was nothing. Kids now just really like to humiliate other kids that have even the slightest appearance of a weakness or a difference. They don’t stop at just hurtful and derogatory words, they are getting physical and their attitude is nonchalant about anyone else’s feelings but their own. The kids in my daughters class literally make me want to forget that I am a Christian because when I see how they act I want to shake them and ask them what their problem is. They are bullies and they are proud of it.

I started thinking about what I could do to change things if I was in the position that I had planned on being by now. If I were someone like Oprah or Lady GaGa, with their money, their prestige, and their power (in a sense) just imagine what I could do as far as taking a stand against the bullying that is relentless in schools today. But when I watched Oprah’s next chapter last night, which was a special on Lady GaGa and her Born This Way Foundation (fighting against bullying), I realized that someone without all of that money, prestige, and power, can still be effective right where they live.

I started to realize, with all of the bullying that is getting worse as the years go on, and the kids who are literally pushed so far that they sometimes take their own life, it doesn’t matter who is taking a stand as long as someone takes one. Just as I am sure that Lady GaGa and Oprah never set out to be an activist of any kind, I am also sure that the experiences that they went through in their youth were somehow, even then, preparing them for that exact journey.

I myself would have never thought that there would be anything good that could’ve possibly come from my childhood experiences. However, I am starting to feel something inside me that is pulling me in the direction of using those experiences to take a stand against bullying. I may not be able to reach people on a national level but I most certainly think that there has to be something that I can do, or get the right people to do, for the schools in my immediate area (starting with my daughter’s school).

I’m no Oprah or Lady GaGa, but I am me and I think that if I wait until I am in the position that they are in (because I do believe I will get there someday in the near future) that it may just be too late (especially for my own daughter). I think that I want to start looking into the ways that ordinary people like me can do something about this epidemic (because that’s what it’s becoming). Who knew that I would ever want to be an activist of any kind? I guess sometimes those childhood traumas you thought you would never get past can be used to help prevent someone else from going through the same kind of pain that you did.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

Making the Best Out of What You Don’t Have

January 31, 2012 jcladyluv

If I could write a list of the things that I need to do pertaining to my writing career that is being held up due to lack of money, I’m not sure if one piece of paper would be enough. Every time I think that I am going to be able to get some new business cards or pay my editor to edit my next novel, or hire an artists to design the cover of my next novel, I just get reminded that I never seem to have the money to do what I need to do in order to make me more money. It seems like the things I don’t have constantly outweigh what I want.

The other day I heard something on one of Oprah’s shows that made me think differently in regards to dwelling on what I don’t have right now. Iyanla Vanzant was speaking about people being angry with not having what they want out of life and she said that “you have to create what you want instead of being stuck with what you don’t have.” I realized that if I keep focusing on what little I have (or what I don’t have at all sometimes) then not only can I not take joy in the things that I am already blessed to have, but I can’t create a way to turn things around and get what it is that I do want.

Now clearly there are just some things that you can’t do without having the benefit of money. However, that doesn’t mean that I can’t concentrate on the things that I can do for my career that can be done with discipline and hard work. That, I don’t need to buy, that, I already have. So today, for every thing that you don’t have, think of how you can turn that around and create something you want. Until tomorrow…Remember there is good in any misfortune, you just have to stop focusing on the misfortune.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

What I Learned From Elizabeth Gilbert, Author of Eat, Pray, Love

January 30, 2012 jcladyluv

I was watching Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday yesterday morning and she had Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love, on for a portion of the show. I got a lot of things from listening to her story or self-discovery. She talked about moments of stillness and being able to listen to that voice inside ourselves that we tend to keep ignoring. But one of the things that I was not expecting to hear was her discussing the power of saying no.

So many times you hear people advise others that we say no too often and we end up shutting ourselves off to many opportunities that we weren’t receptive too. But on the flip side, there are those of us who spend so much time taking care of everyone else, and being there for everyone else, that we end up taking ourselves for granted. Elizabeth Gilbert spoke about having to learn how to say No to people and learning how to not feel guilty about it.

We all have experienced having those around us that just literally suck the life out of us. They probably don’t do it intentionally (although some do) but their constant need to lean on you and their constant expectation that you will always be there no matter what can drain you emotionally and eventually physically. Sometimes we really do need to just stand up for our own emotional health and say no when we need to. That’s not saying that we can’t ever be there for the people who need us again. That’s saying that you have to be there for you first. Until tomorrow…Take some time out for you and don’t feel guilty about the no’s you will have to say in order to do it.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

Let Providence Be Your Guide

January 23, 2012 jcladyluv

I was watching Oprah’s Master Class last night and this particular episode was about Morgan Freeman and his long journey to success. He spoke a lot of letting Providence be your guide. I know that this is going to sound funny but I had never really heard of that saying and I didn’t quite understand what it meant. I mean I realized what meaning it had by the context he was using it in throughout the telling of his life lessons but I still (being the constant researcher that I am) had to go to Google and read more about this Providence. In short, it refers to God’s extraordinary intervention in the life of people.

When Morgan Freeman continually mentioned Providence intervening at the right moments in his life he spoke of the countless times that he might have been leaning towards making wrong, or worse, desperate decisions to maintain a somewhat decent living while in search for his dream that frankly took way longer to come to fruition than he would’ve liked. He spoke about his attempt in joining the Air Force in which case he quickly realized he wasn’t cut out for that. Providence had intervened.

He talked about his attempts at being a ‘clerk typists’ and working for this company as a temp. When he tried to get the job full time the hiring manager told him that that was not what he was supposed to be doing, and that he was supposed to be an Actor. Providence had intervened again. He spoke of his collecting unemployment and having to search for a typical, clerk typist job which kept him from looking for acting jobs. He said that he had gotten frustrated enough to go to the supervisor of the employment agency and told her that by them making him look for typical work that he just wasn’t meant for, they were keeping him from being who he truly was, an actor. She approved his benefits anyway and gave him six months to get an acting job. Providence intervened again. There were countless other people in his life that ‘intervened’ with him trying to lead a mediocre existence and steered him even further towards what he was born to do.

In the beginning of the program he made a statement about things happening as they should and that you are going to have those certain times in your life where you think that you should have been doing something else, something more, but that’s not necessarily so. He said that you probably should be doing whatever it is you’re doing, just to do your best at it. I thought about that, and the fact that I always feel like I should be in a much different place, a much better place. But in listening to the life lessons of Morgan Freeman, a man who didn’t really come into his career until he was around the age of fifty (although I really hope it doesn’t take me that long), I realized that he’s right.

I mean I would like to not have gone through a lot of the things I’ve gone through in life. I’ve had opportunities pass by me that just seemed like they should have been mine but somehow didn’t pan out. Perhaps that was Providence also intervening in my life. Without all of the things that I have gone through, those things I sit and wonder ‘why me’ about, would I be the person I am right now. Would I be as strong, as determined, as persistent? Would I be this much of a fighter? I don’t know that I would be if I hadn’t had all of these tests and obstacles along my journey.

Perhaps Providence has protected me from something I might not have been ready for. Maybe the opportunities that passed me by weren’t really mine to begin with. Maybe I should just do the best at what I’m doing now and be the best writer that I can be right now, in this moment, and let Providence guide me. Maybe we all should let that spiritual force be the guide that steers us in the direction that we should be going, not necessarily in the direction we think we should be going. Until tomorrow…Take stock in what you are doing now, it most likely is right where you should be.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”