Tag: Success

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The No Matter What of It All

April 5, 2012 jcladyluv

“No matter who you are, no matter what you did, no matter where you’ve come from, you can always change, become a better version of yourself.”

~Madonna

This week I have actually been really productive, or at least more productive then I’ve been in a really long time. I am starting to feel that drive again to get what I need done no matter what. I heard a celebrity say once that those three words were words that drove her to the level of success that she had reached. She said that if she always told herself ‘no matter what’ the job or task had to get done then she would be driven to do it. It may not be done perfectly or maybe not even in its entirety, but it will get done. I’ve been thinking a lot about those three words and this week that is what I have had in my mind. Instead of trying to make everything perfect and get every single thing done, I have just been content on getting whatever I could get done, no matter what.

I was talking to Ms. L. last night and I told her about the submission that I finally sent off to a magazine. It sounds like something that you would think I had been doing on a regular basis by this point but sadly it was not. I have spent months agonizing over whether editors will like my article ideas, whether my writing was really as good as I thought it was that they would even pay attention to a query from me, but mostly I had been trying to figure out how to write the PERFECT query letter. I have stacks and stacks of books (and internet research) on how to write a perfect (or irresistible) query but none of them seemed to help me. I had sworn that I would not send out a query until I got the query letters just right. The problem with that theory was that none of my query letters were coming out perfectly, so of course nothing was being sent off.

This week I said that I was just going to start sending query letters, even if they weren’t perfect, even if they weren’t even close to being right, because if I don’t send anything out then obviously no one will see my work and I will never see my byline in any national magazine. So I did. I sent a submission, and it was indeed imperfect, but it also indeed felt really good. The thing is that I can’t promise that the queries will be perfect, but I imagine that with more practice in sending them out on a more consistent basis, they will get better.

I also told Ms. L. that I was going to work on my latest novel that I have yet to finish because I honestly haven’t touched it since the end of National Novel Writing Month (I’m not sure why I haven’t). I said that even if I didn’t write much on it that I would at least work on it for half an hour, no matter what. I in fact did work on my novel, and though I did not write much on it, I did write for a half an hour. I plan on working on it tonight as well.

I am finding that this week is turning out to do for me exactly what I wanted it to do for me (at least on the writing level) which is re-light that fire under me to get moving and put all my plans in motion. I think now that I have really started to visualize my dreams I can begin to see them as my reality. It’s helping me put some action into all of the planning that I have been doing. It feels really good to feel that fire starting to burn again. I just hope it doesn’t go out again anytime soon. I’ve got too much lost time to make up for. But I will get the job done, No Matter What!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Have You Danced With Your Fears Yet?

April 3, 2012 jcladyluv

“Let fear be a counselor and not a jailer.”

~Anthony Robbins

I know that I seem to talk about fear on this blog a lot but I feel that it is so prevalent right now and fear can be so paralyzing when you have no outlet for it. This is my outlet.

I realized last night that I am so much more crippled by fear then I could see. I was watching Oprah’s life class last night on her network and she just so happened to be talking about living fearlessly. Her guest, motivational speaker Tony Robbins, talked about dancing with your fear (facing them) and that fear is really about changing your story and your state of mind.

He talked about everyone having a story that they keep telling themselves, whether it is that you are worthless or that you are just always going to fail or many other negative things we tell ourselves. He recited a quote that if you tell yourself a lie enough times then you start to believe it, so if your story that you’ve been telling yourself for years is that you are never going to succeed or be anything, eventually you will begin to actually believe it. His theory is that if you change your story, make it more of an affirmation of what you are going to do and who you are going to be, then you change your state of mind and you will begin to believe it.

Oprah posed the question to her audience and those watching at home, “what is the story you’ve been telling yourself all these years?” I thought about it and when I talked to Ms. L. I realized what it was. Not only am I afraid that if I try to really accomplish my dreams it is just going to eventually fail, but I am also afraid of the other end of the spectrum. That I will actually succeed and begin to make that climb up the ladder and that I might do one little thing to mess it all up and end up right back where I started, at the bottom. I’m afraid of the not knowing and of the changes that will come. I’m afraid that I will prove to all of the people who said I would never be anything, that they were right.

Tony Robbins also said something else that rung true to me after he said it. He stated that sometimes we want those fears because it protects us from having to step into the unknown. I was never a completely fearless person, I always tended to be moderately cautious, but I never used to be that person that was so intensely afraid of change and all of the unknown things that are out there that I would sabotage my own self but somehow I have become that person.

So how do I get back to that person who not only accepted change, but welcomed it? How do I become that brave artist again that didn’t care (at least as far as my writing went) about what anyone had to say?

I suppose that “dancing with my fear” is a start. If I don’t face them head on and stop pretending that they do indeed exist then I am never going to remove those fears from my subconscious and my life. Fear can really be crippling and it can have the power to kill your dreams, if you let it. But I’m not going to let it. Thank you for letting me express my fears here to all of you. Knowing I can be vulnerable here helps a lot in the furthering of my dreams.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Even an Icon Like Oprah Can Have Fear

April 2, 2012 jcladyluv

“The thing you fear most has no power. Your fear of it is what has the power. Facing the truth really will set you free.”

~Oprah Winfrey

This morning Oprah was on the CBS This Morning show and she was promoting her network, OWN. She talked about a lot of different things but one thing that struck me was when she admitted that if she knew then (when starting the network) what she knows now she probably wouldn’t have done it (or at least not at the time that she did it). She acknowledged that when she launched her network she was not ready. In fact that was one of the lessons that she took away from her process of starting the network, that you shouldn’t launch something just because you already gave a date to everyone else if you are not ready to.

That was both shocking and admirable to me and just made me want to model my business sense (that I am still trying to mold) after the road she has already paved for the women coming after her even more. She spoke of the critics in the press who have criticized her brave but somewhat dismal start to her cable network, and one headline, “Oprah not quite standing on her OWN”, that she tries not to let dictate whether she is in fact succeeding or failing at her new endeavor. In her words, “it’s just press”. She said that because you fail at something (which her network is in no way failing) doesn’t mean that you are a failure.

It made me start to think about that good old fear of failure that I can’t seem to shake for the life of me. Why am I so afraid to fail? It’s not as if my failing at any given thing would mean that it’s the end of the road for me and my dreams. In my heart I know this but my head (or perhaps that little devilish angel sitting on my shoulder) keeps telling me that if I fail even one more time at something then that’s it, I’m just destined to be a failure. If only I could shake that demon trying to creep its way into my subconscious every time I think I’m going to get somewhere. But maybe that’s just it. Maybe it creeps in because I am getting somewhere.

My best friend, Ms. L. always says that when everything starts to begin to go wrong that she knows she must be doing something right. She says that it just means that the devil is working overtime to stop the progress she is making. And look at Ms. L., she just launched her magazine, PIEhole (of which I have an article in) and it’s taken off better than I think even she expected it to (although I knew it would). Although she never acknowledged being afraid as often as she probably was, she never let that fear stop her.

Hell, if Oprah can have the courage to admit that she was afraid of something (because it seems that she just does this stuff so fearlessly) but that she pressed on anyway, then why couldn’t that be my story down the line as well? I know that I would never want to be doing anything else and I truly feel as though God instilled in me this specific purpose and I owe it to him, if not myself, to see that purpose through. As Oprah also said in her interview, “There’s never going to be a time to quit. I will die in the midst of doing what I love to do and that is using my voice and using my life to try to inspire other people to live the best of theirs.”

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Am I Letting the Devil Steal What is Rightfully Mine?

March 22, 2012March 22, 2012 jcladyluv

“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.”

-1 Peter 5:8

I had one of those deep thought provoking conversations today at the gym with the guy that’s training me. It always seems like we have those conversation exactly when my mind is filling itself with a bunch of doubt and lack of motivation. As the conversation went on and I shared more of my doubts (fears really) he asked me a very important question that stumped me for a minute but was one that I think all of us self-doubters need to ask ourselves. He asked me ‘Why are you letting Satan steal what’s yours?’

He went on to say that with all of the gifts that I possess and the purpose that I was placed here on this earth to do I am in line for so many great successes and abundant rewards, but every time I let that doubt settle in my mind I am allowing Satan to steal what’s mine, little by little. I had never thought about my many bouts of doubt that way. He’s right. I never realized that that was what I was doing. I never knew that I was giving the Devil that much authority over the journey of my life, and inevitably, over the destination that I arrive at.

I feel like I do follow the guidance of God on my path but it didn’t dawn on me that those obstacles and bumps on the road that I keep hitting were the Devil capitalizing on my own self-doubt. I don’t always doubt myself but on the days that I do I seem to be continuously leaving a crack in the door for Satan to work his way in there and steal my successes and my rewards, leaving me feeling more doubtful than ever. I get what the Devil is trying to do now and I don’t plan on leaving that door open anymore, not even a tiny crack.

I know what I’m worth and I know what my words are worth. I know that God has given me a purpose to fulfill and I can not continue to doubt what he has told me I should be doing. If he didn’t feel that I was up to the task, he wouldn’t have constructed the task solely for me. It is nothing but the Devil that has me doubting myself and I admit that he was been really busy with me lately. Well the Devil can continue to be busy, but just not with me, not anymore.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Stepping Out on Faith and Sowing Seeds into Your Own Success

March 20, 2012March 20, 2012 jcladyluv

²² Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. ²³ After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, ²⁴ and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it. ²⁵ Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. ²⁶ When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. ²⁷ But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” ²⁸ “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” ²⁹ “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. ³⁰ But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” ³¹ Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” ³² And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. ³³ Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

–Matthew 14: 22-33

I have so much trouble with investing in myself, in particular, in the business that I am trying to build up. It seems every time that I actually take the initiative and have the faith to go ahead and make an investment towards getting my business firmly off the ground, I turn around and face the almost immediate needs of my daughter. Now of course children need things all the time and I always make sure she’s taken care of first. However, it seems like just when I’m at a point where she appears to have everything she needs for the time being and I feel I can actually put money into myself (my writing career) then a sudden need arises and I start to feel guilty that I’ve just put this money into me and not into her where it clearly needed to go.

Now Ms. L. lectured me about feeling guilty last night and reminded me that taking care of me first sometimes is the best way to take care of her all the time but it doesn’t always feel that way. When I was in the gym this morning the guys were having a specific conversation that seemed to be perfect for the guilt (or possible lack of faith) that I was feeling. Oddly enough, I almost did not go to the gym this morning because it was raining and I had planned on using the rain as my excuse to stay home. But God had other plans and made sure that I went anyway.

They were talking about the story from the bible of when Jesus walked on water and he walked out to the boat with his disciples in it and Peter told Jesus that if it was in fact him to call him over to him, and he went and Peter was walking to Jesus on water. He was doing fine until he felt a gust of wind and a burst of fear and lost sight of Jesus and his faith in him and he began to sink into the water, drowing. He cried out for Jesus to save him and Jesus reached out his hand and caught him, saying to him “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” If Peter had felt the wind and still had faith and kept his eyes on Jesus he would have been fine. If he had just kept his faith and had not doubted, not even for a second, he would not have felt the fear of drowning.

I feel that story not only applies to what I am dealing with, but also anyone out there who is struggling with their faith in what it is they are trying to do, what they may be called to do. If I were to stop taking my focus off of God and his plans for me, if I were to stop letting every little gusts of wind throw me off and make me afraid, I could only imagine how far I might be in my journey by now. I could imagine the voice of God in my head as he talks to me saying something to the effect of ‘If you would just have faith in what I have planned for you and follow through without getting afraid then you could be halfway there by now’. If he did say that, he would one hundred percent right.

I don’t always have a good track record of trusting in the unknown and the things that have no guarantees. It’s not that I don’t have faith in God and his plan for me, it’s that my nature to worry about all of the what ifs has a tendency to take me off the faith driven path (just a bit). It’s something that I struggle with and am constantly working on, not taking my eyes off of God and his plans for me, learning not to worry about all of the what ifs that pop into my head and knowing that God has never let me down yet and wouldn’t start now. I struggle with not having the comfort of knowing what’s waiting for me on the other side. The truth is that I have to realize that it’s not always for me to know, but for me to trust in the guidance of God and know that he would never steer me wrong.

Oftentimes we tend to get caught up in the worrying of it all that we forget to just let go and have some faith. Whatever is going to happen, whatever God is going to do, will be one anyway, whether it’s what we expected or not. We can’t be so riddled with doubt in ourselves and in his plans that we never even step out of the boat. We’ve got to have faith and know that God would not lead us on the water only to let us drown.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Seeing Yourself Through Someone Else’s Eyes

March 8, 2012 jcladyluv

“Sometimes you can’t see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.”

~Ellen DeGeneres

It is really nice when you have someone that believes in you enough for the both of you. I discovered that I had someone else in my corner today, someone that’s always been in my corner but I guess I just didn’t really see it. My friend (we’ll just call him Mr. C.) was very motivating for me today. He spoke about me and my dreams the way that I had expressed them to him and made me reenergized about them again. I was starting to believe that it was just too late for me to take my brand and my name and become the success that I had always dreamed of being. Today when I saw myself through his eyes, the way he said he saw things, I felt like I had already accomplished so much.

He reminded me of all of the plans that I had laid out to him around the time that we first met and pinpointed all of the goals that I had actually managed to accomplish thus far. I don’t really know why I hadn’t realized that I am not exactly at the starting point, but rather somewhere ahead of the halfway point. I know that Ms. L. is going to read this and say ‘I told you all of that stuff already’ and it’s not that I didn’t hear her but hearing it from someone who I didn’t realize was paying attention somehow has a different affect. I knew that Mr. C. had confidence in me and that he thought I was capable of many things, but I never saw just how fiercely he believed in me.

It’s always interesting to see yourself through someone else’s eyes because a lot of the times you find that you are only seeing what hasn’t been done when they are looking at the bigger picture. They are looking at what your goals were to begin with, and what strides you have already made towards those goals, and they see the potential of you finishing those goals. I don’t know why it sometimes seems so hard for me to look at myself and my life the way that others seem to see it but I am starting to get the message now.

If I keep stopping at every bench mark on my roadmap of success and picking apart everything that I had already done and diminishing it into being nothing then that’s what it will amount to, nothing. Holding up someone else’s mirror to your life is very revealing and meaningful because you can’t always see what someone else sees. Sometimes it takes the vision of someone else to make clear to you that you are on the right path.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

If You Want it Bad Enough, You Have to Work Hard to Get It

February 29, 2012 jcladyluv

“The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.”

~Emile Zola

When I was at the gym this morning I overheard a basketball coach giving two of the young boys that he coaches a lecture on practicing their skills. He was telling them that they can’t just expect to become pro-basketball players without actually putting in the work to get there. He was saying to his assistant coach that children just expect to wake up and automatically become what they want to be without putting in the time, the effort and the hard work it takes to get there. I listened on as he spoke to them and I saw the young boys in there beginning to practice as he was lecturing them so clearly some of what he was saying was starting to sink in.

As I continued to listen on I thought about the fact that it isn’t always just children who forget that things that are worth having, you have to work hard for. Sometimes we adults forget that too. We sometimes rely so heavily on the natural talent that we have to do whatever gifts we were blessed with that we forget that even with natural talent, there is skill involved and those skills have to be continuously exercised. If we don’t practice our skill set, that talent can eventually fade away.

We can’t continue to take our skills for granted and believe that no matter what they will always be there for us to use when we get around to putting in the hard work that it takes to make them work for us. Basketball players don’t just wake up able to play basketball. Sure they may have had the natural talent to shoot a ball in a hoop when they were younger but there would have been no chance of them making it to the NBA without continuously practicing that skill. Had they not put in the hard work those skills would have just faded away.

I’ve heard it said so many times by writers or singers or actors or athletes that it comes natural to them, and yet they still profess how much hard work their natural talent takes. They take workshops to keep their words fresh, they have vocal coaches to keep their voice in tact, or they take ongoing acting classes to keep their acting skills on point, or they practice on a regular basis to keep their reflexes sharp. Yes they may have this natural ability but they work hard at maintaining those abilities so that they don’t lose them.

The same goes for anyone else out there trying to become successful at whatever it is that comes natural to them. We all have something that we were born to do. Now we just have to put in the hard work at practicing those skills to develop the success that we know we want. So take some time to think whether or not you are really putting in the practice at making your skills work for you. If you know you could be doing more then start now. Practice equals progression!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

What to Do When the Investment Wasn’t Made

February 28, 2012 jcladyluv

“Don’t find fault, find a remedy.”

~Henry Ford

Yesterday I talked about parents needing to make investments in their children’s future and I spoke about the investment that wasn’t made in me by my own mother. Well today I wanted to speak to those out there who were not supported by the people around them. I wanted to make clear that just because you were not given the encouragement that you should’ve been when you were starting to realize your gift’s does not mean that your gift should be lost and never developed.

This is where we now have to remind ourselves not to dwell on what was not given to us and focus on what we have to give of ourselves. When we are not lifted up by the ones who are supposed to be there for us then it is up to us to be driven enough to enhance our own abilities. It is up to us to believe in ourselves enough to make our dreams come true anyway, in spite of those who told you that you couldn’t.

Now that you are at whatever point you are in within your career and your life, you can no longer play the blame game (yes that goes for me too). Sure there will be days when you will naturally think about what could’ve been and that’s okay for about five seconds. But then you have to (and this is going to be the hard part to do) get over it and move on.

If you don’t make the choice now, to do whatever it takes to sustain yourself in your career, the blame falls solely on you. Once you reach a certain age and point in life, it is no one else’s responsibility to lift you up and help you rise to the level of success that you want but you. There will still be people along the way that can help you but you have to put yourself in the position to be in contact with those people. You have to make all of the tough decisions. You have to stop procrastinating and get moving. You have to stop complaining about what never was and create what could still be. Make your dreams count and know that you are worth the investment.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

The Questions We Ask Ourselves, and God (Part 1): Why Me?

February 13, 2012 jcladyluv

“I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders.”

~ Jewish Proverb

I have a ton of questions that I asks’ God on a regular basis. These are questions that I probably know the answer to already but for some reason I never listen to that voice inside of myself until I go to him. All he does is amplify that voice inside of me so that I actually start paying attention to it. Have any of you ever found yourself asking God question after question and then wonder when you’re going to get any of the answers you’re waiting for? I’m discovering that maybe the answers to our questions are already answered but we just aren’t paying close enough attention.

The most common question that I find myself asking is why me? There is so much that we go through in life and sometimes it starts to weigh you down. Naturally the first thing you want to know is why do you have to go through this. Why is this happening to you? It just seems sometimes that things get really hard really fast and they take a really long time to get better. It makes it even more difficult when the person next to you (figuratively) seems to have everything falling right into place just so neatly. But their story is not your story.

God puts us through things, not just for the sake of doing so, but to strengthen us. He gives us tests so that we have testimonies to share so that we can be an example for others. If you think about it you will realize that you already know the answer to why me. It is because without your experiences, without those trials that you have been put through, your life story wouldn’t be the same. You wouldn’t be the same person that you are without those moments that made you stronger. You might not be as appreciative of your successes if you didn’t have all of the obstacles thrown in your way just to get to them.

I’m not going to sit here and say that when I have a rough day, or a rough week, or even a rough month, that I won’t ask why me again. However, I think that I won’t be waiting as long for the answer because I know why me. I know that my story, my struggle, has a more profound meaning. I know that my experiences will eventually be able to help someone else cope with their struggle and that I will be proof that for those that have been broken down, it was only so that you be built back up.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”