Tag: Success

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What to Do When the Investment Wasn’t Made

February 28, 2012 jcladyluv

“Don’t find fault, find a remedy.”

~Henry Ford

Yesterday I talked about parents needing to make investments in their children’s future and I spoke about the investment that wasn’t made in me by my own mother. Well today I wanted to speak to those out there who were not supported by the people around them. I wanted to make clear that just because you were not given the encouragement that you should’ve been when you were starting to realize your gift’s does not mean that your gift should be lost and never developed.

This is where we now have to remind ourselves not to dwell on what was not given to us and focus on what we have to give of ourselves. When we are not lifted up by the ones who are supposed to be there for us then it is up to us to be driven enough to enhance our own abilities. It is up to us to believe in ourselves enough to make our dreams come true anyway, in spite of those who told you that you couldn’t.

Now that you are at whatever point you are in within your career and your life, you can no longer play the blame game (yes that goes for me too). Sure there will be days when you will naturally think about what could’ve been and that’s okay for about five seconds. But then you have to (and this is going to be the hard part to do) get over it and move on.

If you don’t make the choice now, to do whatever it takes to sustain yourself in your career, the blame falls solely on you. Once you reach a certain age and point in life, it is no one else’s responsibility to lift you up and help you rise to the level of success that you want but you. There will still be people along the way that can help you but you have to put yourself in the position to be in contact with those people. You have to make all of the tough decisions. You have to stop procrastinating and get moving. You have to stop complaining about what never was and create what could still be. Make your dreams count and know that you are worth the investment.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

The Questions We Ask Ourselves, and God (Part 1): Why Me?

February 13, 2012 jcladyluv

“I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders.”

~ Jewish Proverb

I have a ton of questions that I asks’ God on a regular basis. These are questions that I probably know the answer to already but for some reason I never listen to that voice inside of myself until I go to him. All he does is amplify that voice inside of me so that I actually start paying attention to it. Have any of you ever found yourself asking God question after question and then wonder when you’re going to get any of the answers you’re waiting for? I’m discovering that maybe the answers to our questions are already answered but we just aren’t paying close enough attention.

The most common question that I find myself asking is why me? There is so much that we go through in life and sometimes it starts to weigh you down. Naturally the first thing you want to know is why do you have to go through this. Why is this happening to you? It just seems sometimes that things get really hard really fast and they take a really long time to get better. It makes it even more difficult when the person next to you (figuratively) seems to have everything falling right into place just so neatly. But their story is not your story.

God puts us through things, not just for the sake of doing so, but to strengthen us. He gives us tests so that we have testimonies to share so that we can be an example for others. If you think about it you will realize that you already know the answer to why me. It is because without your experiences, without those trials that you have been put through, your life story wouldn’t be the same. You wouldn’t be the same person that you are without those moments that made you stronger. You might not be as appreciative of your successes if you didn’t have all of the obstacles thrown in your way just to get to them.

I’m not going to sit here and say that when I have a rough day, or a rough week, or even a rough month, that I won’t ask why me again. However, I think that I won’t be waiting as long for the answer because I know why me. I know that my story, my struggle, has a more profound meaning. I know that my experiences will eventually be able to help someone else cope with their struggle and that I will be proof that for those that have been broken down, it was only so that you be built back up.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Rest In Peace Whitney Houston

February 11, 2012 jcladyluv

I didn’t really have anything prepared for today but then I heard the terrible news that singer Whitney Houston had died. I was shocked as most all of you were and I am deeply saddened because the world lost a wonderfully talented woman whose music touched so many lives.

I am sitting here listening to MSNBC and hearing them question everyone as to how they think she will be remembered because regardless of her beautiful voice, she was focused on and highlighted in the media for her multiple dramas and drug use. I can only hope that in this time of loss that people will not dwell on her flaws and praise her many successes and her wonderful talents.

I know how I will remember her. I will remember how melodic and angelic her voice sounded and how there will more than likely never be another voice like that one. I remember wanting to get my voice to sound just like hers because no other voice was that beautiful. I will remember the times that I felt heartbroken and I felt as if nothing but Whitney Houston’s songs could get me through that time. I will remember that Whitney Houston was not perfect, but that just like anyone else who has fallen down onto hard times, she got back up and she kept on going.

I will pray for her family and her friends and I hope that Whitney Houston can now Rest In Peace.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

The Company You Keep Could Be Helping You Sabotage Yourself

February 10, 2012 jcladyluv

Number 5 on my list yesterday was ‘Keeping people around you that are not going to give you a swift kick in the ass’ and a part of that is not surrounding yourself with people who constantly try to do everything they can to bring negativity to you. It is always good when you can separate yourself from those that do not support your goals and that do not believe in you. But how do you separate yourself when the people or person who is against you is your family, not just family members, but your own mother.

My mother has never been supportive of my dream of being a writer and she has been very verbal about the fact that she thinks that my pursuing that dream is a huge waste of time. She made her point again today that I am wasting my time with this writing ‘stuff’ as she referred to it.

Years ago that would have bothered me. That would have eaten away at me and seeped inside of my soul with her words eventually starting to be projected in my own voice. That would have sent me into months and months of questioning my dreams and whether I could really make them happen. I would spend months thinking to myself that if my own mother doesn’t believe in me, then who else will.

Like I said, that would have been me years ago. That would have been a form of me self-sabotaging myself by way of my mother’s negativity. Now I know that I can not completely cut my mother off (well I could but she did give birth to me so that would be wrong) but I have learned to distance myself from her. More importantly, when she starts to talk about how my goals and dreams don’t matter and that their not worth the time and effort I am putting into them, I have to learn how to cut her off (respectfully of course) and tell her that I can’t be around the negativity.

I know that you can’t really tune out or walk away from every negative vibe that tries to come within your orbit, but you can’t make your dream a reality if you don’t at least try. Negative energy just breeds more negative energy so if you allow it into your inner circle then you also allow it to influence your spirit. So if you are keeping people around you that are only bringing negative energy to you then it is time to distance yourself from them. Stop sabotaging yourself with the company you are keeping. Until tomorrow…Remember that your kin is not always your kind!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

10 Things We Sometimes Do to Sabotage Ourselves

February 9, 2012 jcladyluv

I was thinking of all the ways and things people do to sabotage themselves. Largely, I was thinking of all of the things that I am doing that are making me sabotage myself. Unknowingly, this week has turned out to be one of looking inward at myself and reflecting on the things that I want and most importantly what I need to change within me to get those things that I am striving for. I had no idea that was what this week would be for me but I am tired of feeling as if I am watching the life I want pass me by. So I made a list of ten things that people do to hold themselves back from success.

Procrastination
Making Excuses
Pointing the finger at everyone else but yourself
Doing a whole lot of planning without a lot of doing.
Keeping people around you that are not going to give you a swift kick in the ass
Not going after every possible opportunity that you can get your hands on
Not taking care of yourself (both mental and physical health) before you take care of others
Open their minds to change and do something new
Say yes to everyone and continue to say no to yourself
Over think everything instead of just doing

Okay so that’s my list of which I am probably guilty of more than half of those things on that list. Tomorrow I will go a little further into self-sabotage and what we can do to stop sabotaging our own destiny.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Conquering Fear Doesn’t Happen Overnight

February 8, 2012 jcladyluv

It is typical for someone to give good advice to others without ever really taking that same advice themselves. I’ve written a lot about not letting fear, whether it is fear of failure or fear of success, stop you from going after your dreams. I stand by that advice but sometimes I just can’t seem to take it myself. It isn’t that I don’t want to let the fear go, it just seems that I can’t. I get moments where I feel fearless and ready to conquer the world. Then something happens to set me back and I get afraid. I find myself afraid that I won’t succeed, then afraid that I will.

I spent a lot of time last night assessing exactly what it is that I seem to be doing wrong, or rather what is wrong with me. Why it is that I keep missing opportunities simply by not going after them in the first place. I look at my best friend Ms. L and watch her hustle her ass off to climb further and further up that ladder. She’s doing what she loves to do and she is going into it all fearlessly. Now Ms. L and I are both in pursuit of the same thing, success doing what it is we love to do. We have different avenues of the media industry that we want to conquer but we are both passionate about creativity and writing and making a living at it. I just can’t seem to mirror that same fierceness she has to hustle.

I sat in my bed last night trying to figure out why. Was it that I didn’t want it as bad anymore? Is it that I just feel that I am not cut out to be my own businesswoman after all? Can it just be that I am not hungry enough for it? No, none of those things apply to me. Then I realized that I’m still afraid. I thought it had gone away. I thought I had talked myself through the phase of being too afraid but somewhere along the way it crept back in. I’m afraid of succeeding but mostly I’m afraid of failing at everything I’ve ever dreamed of.

What I also realized in my moment of self analysis last night was that if I don’t try and give it my all then my fear will come true anyway. I fail without even trying to succeed. Not trying will be failing. I wish I could say that the fear is gone now. I wish that I could say that once it passes this time that it will never creep back in. But I can say that I know that fear is not going to help me get what I want and what I’m destined to have; success. For anyone out there experiencing a serious case of fear, you are not alone. We will overcome it and climb our way up that ladder. It just might take us a little bit longer than others. Until tomorrow…Remember that Fear stands for False Evidence Appearing Real.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Critics Are Everywhere

February 1, 2012 jcladyluv

“It doesn’t matter if a million people tell you what you can’t do, or if ten million tell you no. If you get one yes from God that’s all you need.”
~Tyler Perry

There is negative energy everywhere. People will try and tear others down simply because they are succeeding at something and they are envious. There may be someone out there who doesn’t like the fact that someone else is hogging what they see as their spotlight. There all critics in their own right and just like we can’t always rely on the negative word of a book or movie reviewer for the next book we will read or movie we will see, we can not rely on the critics who say that we will never become what we know we are destined to become.

I got another Inspirational Corner message in my email from Tyler Perry today. He shared with his fans a clip that was sent to him which, at first glance, looks like a barrage of negative comments hurled at him to discourage him. But as you go on watching the clip, it phases out the negative comments and goes on to display and show all of the comments of encouragement for Tyler, both by his fans and the many actors and actresses he has worked with throughout the years.

Just like that clip, Tyler Perry has managed to tune out all of the negative comments of people who just might not have gotten his vision, and focus in on the words of encouragement and empowerment for him. There were so many people who told him no. There were so many people who told him that there was just no place for him in the industry. People told him that the world just wouldn’t buy what he was trying to sell. He had been shut down so many times by so many negative critics but he never let that stop him. Look at him now.

My message today is to say that even the most successful people that you see today have been told no and have been told that they would never get to where they were trying to go. They did it by letting the negative comments roll right off their back and putting their focus into the words of encouragement that helped fuel their desire. They never gave up until they were right where they said they were going to be, at the top. So to all of the future success stories out there that are climbing your way to the top, don’t let the critics slow down your rise. Until tomorrow…Just press on and tune out anything that’s going to get in your way!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Planting One Seed At a Time

January 25, 2012 jcladyluv

“Most of the time multitasking is an illusion. You think you are multitasking, but in reality you’re actually wasting time switching from one task to another.”

~ Bosco Tjan

There always seems to be a message of inspiration for me in some part of every day. Whether it’s in the conversations that I have with Ms. L. (which frankly always hold some source of inspiration), or something that is being said by someone in the gym I go to or on TV, or even if it’s sent in an email. Yesterday there so happened to be an email that I felt spoke directly to me. It was one of Tyler Perry’s Inspirational Corner Messages that he sends out to everyone who is on his email listing. It was a message on how to become successful. It was right on the money and exactly what I needed to hear.

He spoke about his success being due to the grace of God. He spoke about narrowing your focus and planting your seeds. He essentially said that when it comes to the success that we want out of life for ourselves, all we can do is plant the seed in the ground, water it, and believe. He advised that to be successful one must narrow their focus and concentrate on one thing at a time, one idea. That one idea, once made a success, will give birth to all of your other ideas. If you spend time spreading water over too many seeds you don’t have as much water for one seed, that one seed that you feel is most important to bloom.

I realized then the reason why I have been feeling so lost lately within my writing. Ever since this year has started, I have felt so much pressure (that I placed on myself) to tackle everything on my goal list. Trying to figure out how I am going to work on all of these different projects that I want to get done over the course of this year all essentially at one time. The rational response is that of course I can’t work on all of my projects at once but the overachiever that lives inside of me wants so badly for it to be possible. I’ve been wasting so much time trying to work out a plan in my head to make it happen which has resulted in me getting nothing done at all.

I must narrow my focus. I must take what is the most important thing to me and concentrate on how I can make that work and make that successful. Once I thought about concentrating on that one thing, I didn’t feel so lost anymore. My direction became a little clearer. If I focus on becoming the well known author that I was meant to be and acquire the agent that I am seeking to find for my next novel, then all of my other ideas will come to fruition.

I always thought that if I could be really good at multitasking than I could get everything accomplished relatively at once. However, it hasn’t been working that way so I must shift my efforts to something different, something that is going to work. Multitasking, I think works for those who have already reached that level of success that they strived to get to. When you are just trying to get to that level of success you must narrow your focus. I must narrow my focus and plant one seed at a time and give each individual seed a chance to bloom in their own time. Until tomorrow…Focus on that one seed and the rest will eventually bloom!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

With Age Comes Wisdom

January 24, 2012 jcladyluv

I am not sure whether or not I have gotten smarter over the years but I do believe that as each year has passed by I have gotten wiser. At the gym that I have been a member of for almost three years now there are mostly older women and men that attend, mostly in the age range of about fifty and sixty. I listen to the stories they tell about the places they’ve been in life and the things they’ve seen. I hear them recount the trials and tribulations that they have endured and I take in the stories and experiences that they share. I listen and I would like to think that I am wiser for the information that I have taken in.

I have heard many quotes and sayings about wisdom but the one that I gravitate to the most is that wisdom comes from a willingness to be a student of life. It comes from a willingness to be a life long learner. Wise people learn that success does not come from a certain set of circumstances, but rather, from a certain set of attitudes. Listening to the older people I have been fortunate enough to be surrounded by has allowed me to change certain things about myself. I’ve learned a lot from them but mostly I learned that success does stem from your attitude and not necessarily your circumstances.

The older people I talk to daily have had some terrible circumstances and many tragic things that they have endured but they didn’t let their circumstances dictate how they journeyed on. Their attitudes were that of survival and moving past those circumstances and learning from them. So many times people (myself included) let their circumstances control the outcome of their lives instead of having the attitude of resilience. I think that I have made progress on adjusting my attitude and my reaction to certain circumstances and it is because I have gained more wisdom in the last few years from the older generation of people that I have come into contact with than I could ever possibly get only going to an institution for learning.

I think that I have become that student of life and have grown more than a willingness to be a life long learner. I learn, not just from school and the books that I read or the information I research, but I learn from living and from those who have lived life a long time before me. It is good to be intelligent but being wise is something totally different. If you just keep repeating the same mistakes and behaviors then you aren’t very wise because you haven’t learned from what you have already lived through. It is my hope that we all not only strive to become smarter but also wiser because with time being so precious, we have to be wise enough to not make the same mistake twice. Until tomorrow…Remember that fools learn nothing from wise men but wise men learn much from fools!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”