Tag: Success

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The Company You Keep Could Be Helping You Sabotage Yourself

February 10, 2012 jcladyluv

Number 5 on my list yesterday was ‘Keeping people around you that are not going to give you a swift kick in the ass’ and a part of that is not surrounding yourself with people who constantly try to do everything they can to bring negativity to you. It is always good when you can separate yourself from those that do not support your goals and that do not believe in you. But how do you separate yourself when the people or person who is against you is your family, not just family members, but your own mother.

My mother has never been supportive of my dream of being a writer and she has been very verbal about the fact that she thinks that my pursuing that dream is a huge waste of time. She made her point again today that I am wasting my time with this writing ‘stuff’ as she referred to it.

Years ago that would have bothered me. That would have eaten away at me and seeped inside of my soul with her words eventually starting to be projected in my own voice. That would have sent me into months and months of questioning my dreams and whether I could really make them happen. I would spend months thinking to myself that if my own mother doesn’t believe in me, then who else will.

Like I said, that would have been me years ago. That would have been a form of me self-sabotaging myself by way of my mother’s negativity. Now I know that I can not completely cut my mother off (well I could but she did give birth to me so that would be wrong) but I have learned to distance myself from her. More importantly, when she starts to talk about how my goals and dreams don’t matter and that their not worth the time and effort I am putting into them, I have to learn how to cut her off (respectfully of course) and tell her that I can’t be around the negativity.

I know that you can’t really tune out or walk away from every negative vibe that tries to come within your orbit, but you can’t make your dream a reality if you don’t at least try. Negative energy just breeds more negative energy so if you allow it into your inner circle then you also allow it to influence your spirit. So if you are keeping people around you that are only bringing negative energy to you then it is time to distance yourself from them. Stop sabotaging yourself with the company you are keeping. Until tomorrow…Remember that your kin is not always your kind!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

10 Things We Sometimes Do to Sabotage Ourselves

February 9, 2012 jcladyluv

I was thinking of all the ways and things people do to sabotage themselves. Largely, I was thinking of all of the things that I am doing that are making me sabotage myself. Unknowingly, this week has turned out to be one of looking inward at myself and reflecting on the things that I want and most importantly what I need to change within me to get those things that I am striving for. I had no idea that was what this week would be for me but I am tired of feeling as if I am watching the life I want pass me by. So I made a list of ten things that people do to hold themselves back from success.

Procrastination
Making Excuses
Pointing the finger at everyone else but yourself
Doing a whole lot of planning without a lot of doing.
Keeping people around you that are not going to give you a swift kick in the ass
Not going after every possible opportunity that you can get your hands on
Not taking care of yourself (both mental and physical health) before you take care of others
Open their minds to change and do something new
Say yes to everyone and continue to say no to yourself
Over think everything instead of just doing

Okay so that’s my list of which I am probably guilty of more than half of those things on that list. Tomorrow I will go a little further into self-sabotage and what we can do to stop sabotaging our own destiny.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Conquering Fear Doesn’t Happen Overnight

February 8, 2012 jcladyluv

It is typical for someone to give good advice to others without ever really taking that same advice themselves. I’ve written a lot about not letting fear, whether it is fear of failure or fear of success, stop you from going after your dreams. I stand by that advice but sometimes I just can’t seem to take it myself. It isn’t that I don’t want to let the fear go, it just seems that I can’t. I get moments where I feel fearless and ready to conquer the world. Then something happens to set me back and I get afraid. I find myself afraid that I won’t succeed, then afraid that I will.

I spent a lot of time last night assessing exactly what it is that I seem to be doing wrong, or rather what is wrong with me. Why it is that I keep missing opportunities simply by not going after them in the first place. I look at my best friend Ms. L and watch her hustle her ass off to climb further and further up that ladder. She’s doing what she loves to do and she is going into it all fearlessly. Now Ms. L and I are both in pursuit of the same thing, success doing what it is we love to do. We have different avenues of the media industry that we want to conquer but we are both passionate about creativity and writing and making a living at it. I just can’t seem to mirror that same fierceness she has to hustle.

I sat in my bed last night trying to figure out why. Was it that I didn’t want it as bad anymore? Is it that I just feel that I am not cut out to be my own businesswoman after all? Can it just be that I am not hungry enough for it? No, none of those things apply to me. Then I realized that I’m still afraid. I thought it had gone away. I thought I had talked myself through the phase of being too afraid but somewhere along the way it crept back in. I’m afraid of succeeding but mostly I’m afraid of failing at everything I’ve ever dreamed of.

What I also realized in my moment of self analysis last night was that if I don’t try and give it my all then my fear will come true anyway. I fail without even trying to succeed. Not trying will be failing. I wish I could say that the fear is gone now. I wish that I could say that once it passes this time that it will never creep back in. But I can say that I know that fear is not going to help me get what I want and what I’m destined to have; success. For anyone out there experiencing a serious case of fear, you are not alone. We will overcome it and climb our way up that ladder. It just might take us a little bit longer than others. Until tomorrow…Remember that Fear stands for False Evidence Appearing Real.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Critics Are Everywhere

February 1, 2012 jcladyluv

“It doesn’t matter if a million people tell you what you can’t do, or if ten million tell you no. If you get one yes from God that’s all you need.”
~Tyler Perry

There is negative energy everywhere. People will try and tear others down simply because they are succeeding at something and they are envious. There may be someone out there who doesn’t like the fact that someone else is hogging what they see as their spotlight. There all critics in their own right and just like we can’t always rely on the negative word of a book or movie reviewer for the next book we will read or movie we will see, we can not rely on the critics who say that we will never become what we know we are destined to become.

I got another Inspirational Corner message in my email from Tyler Perry today. He shared with his fans a clip that was sent to him which, at first glance, looks like a barrage of negative comments hurled at him to discourage him. But as you go on watching the clip, it phases out the negative comments and goes on to display and show all of the comments of encouragement for Tyler, both by his fans and the many actors and actresses he has worked with throughout the years.

Just like that clip, Tyler Perry has managed to tune out all of the negative comments of people who just might not have gotten his vision, and focus in on the words of encouragement and empowerment for him. There were so many people who told him no. There were so many people who told him that there was just no place for him in the industry. People told him that the world just wouldn’t buy what he was trying to sell. He had been shut down so many times by so many negative critics but he never let that stop him. Look at him now.

My message today is to say that even the most successful people that you see today have been told no and have been told that they would never get to where they were trying to go. They did it by letting the negative comments roll right off their back and putting their focus into the words of encouragement that helped fuel their desire. They never gave up until they were right where they said they were going to be, at the top. So to all of the future success stories out there that are climbing your way to the top, don’t let the critics slow down your rise. Until tomorrow…Just press on and tune out anything that’s going to get in your way!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Planting One Seed At a Time

January 25, 2012 jcladyluv

“Most of the time multitasking is an illusion. You think you are multitasking, but in reality you’re actually wasting time switching from one task to another.”

~ Bosco Tjan

There always seems to be a message of inspiration for me in some part of every day. Whether it’s in the conversations that I have with Ms. L. (which frankly always hold some source of inspiration), or something that is being said by someone in the gym I go to or on TV, or even if it’s sent in an email. Yesterday there so happened to be an email that I felt spoke directly to me. It was one of Tyler Perry’s Inspirational Corner Messages that he sends out to everyone who is on his email listing. It was a message on how to become successful. It was right on the money and exactly what I needed to hear.

He spoke about his success being due to the grace of God. He spoke about narrowing your focus and planting your seeds. He essentially said that when it comes to the success that we want out of life for ourselves, all we can do is plant the seed in the ground, water it, and believe. He advised that to be successful one must narrow their focus and concentrate on one thing at a time, one idea. That one idea, once made a success, will give birth to all of your other ideas. If you spend time spreading water over too many seeds you don’t have as much water for one seed, that one seed that you feel is most important to bloom.

I realized then the reason why I have been feeling so lost lately within my writing. Ever since this year has started, I have felt so much pressure (that I placed on myself) to tackle everything on my goal list. Trying to figure out how I am going to work on all of these different projects that I want to get done over the course of this year all essentially at one time. The rational response is that of course I can’t work on all of my projects at once but the overachiever that lives inside of me wants so badly for it to be possible. I’ve been wasting so much time trying to work out a plan in my head to make it happen which has resulted in me getting nothing done at all.

I must narrow my focus. I must take what is the most important thing to me and concentrate on how I can make that work and make that successful. Once I thought about concentrating on that one thing, I didn’t feel so lost anymore. My direction became a little clearer. If I focus on becoming the well known author that I was meant to be and acquire the agent that I am seeking to find for my next novel, then all of my other ideas will come to fruition.

I always thought that if I could be really good at multitasking than I could get everything accomplished relatively at once. However, it hasn’t been working that way so I must shift my efforts to something different, something that is going to work. Multitasking, I think works for those who have already reached that level of success that they strived to get to. When you are just trying to get to that level of success you must narrow your focus. I must narrow my focus and plant one seed at a time and give each individual seed a chance to bloom in their own time. Until tomorrow…Focus on that one seed and the rest will eventually bloom!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

With Age Comes Wisdom

January 24, 2012 jcladyluv

I am not sure whether or not I have gotten smarter over the years but I do believe that as each year has passed by I have gotten wiser. At the gym that I have been a member of for almost three years now there are mostly older women and men that attend, mostly in the age range of about fifty and sixty. I listen to the stories they tell about the places they’ve been in life and the things they’ve seen. I hear them recount the trials and tribulations that they have endured and I take in the stories and experiences that they share. I listen and I would like to think that I am wiser for the information that I have taken in.

I have heard many quotes and sayings about wisdom but the one that I gravitate to the most is that wisdom comes from a willingness to be a student of life. It comes from a willingness to be a life long learner. Wise people learn that success does not come from a certain set of circumstances, but rather, from a certain set of attitudes. Listening to the older people I have been fortunate enough to be surrounded by has allowed me to change certain things about myself. I’ve learned a lot from them but mostly I learned that success does stem from your attitude and not necessarily your circumstances.

The older people I talk to daily have had some terrible circumstances and many tragic things that they have endured but they didn’t let their circumstances dictate how they journeyed on. Their attitudes were that of survival and moving past those circumstances and learning from them. So many times people (myself included) let their circumstances control the outcome of their lives instead of having the attitude of resilience. I think that I have made progress on adjusting my attitude and my reaction to certain circumstances and it is because I have gained more wisdom in the last few years from the older generation of people that I have come into contact with than I could ever possibly get only going to an institution for learning.

I think that I have become that student of life and have grown more than a willingness to be a life long learner. I learn, not just from school and the books that I read or the information I research, but I learn from living and from those who have lived life a long time before me. It is good to be intelligent but being wise is something totally different. If you just keep repeating the same mistakes and behaviors then you aren’t very wise because you haven’t learned from what you have already lived through. It is my hope that we all not only strive to become smarter but also wiser because with time being so precious, we have to be wise enough to not make the same mistake twice. Until tomorrow…Remember that fools learn nothing from wise men but wise men learn much from fools!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Where There’s A No There’s a Yes Right Around The Corner

January 18, 2012 jcladyluv

Rejection is a part of the process of becoming a successful writer. I mean unless you have a lot of connections and you know all of the people you need to know to be placed right where you want to be in your career then you are pretty much starting at the bottom of the barrel. That means that you will more than likely be rejected more times than you would care to count. Now if you have nerves of steel and can stare adversity in the eye with a straight face then you will have no problem forging ahead right out of the pile of rejection letters that you are likely to receive before you become that top selling author you desire to be.

However, if you are anything like me, where being rejected makes you rethink every decision you ever made and has you constantly second guessing yourself, then this business (writing) is going to take some getting used to and quite frankly a lot more of a backbone. I’m not talking about having the talent for writing, that’s only about 20% of being a successful writer. It’s the other 80% that takes diligence and determination to really make it as a writer. Now I’ve always been afraid of the rejection, and with writing it’s so much of it, but I know that I can’t give up on my dream.

I was watching an up and coming author who was on the Anderson show yesterday (Amanda Hocking) and she spoke of how she had been rejected at least a thousand times before she went the route of self publishing in which she sold over a million copies on her own and then was eventually picked up by a major publishing house. At first I was taken aback by the amount of rejection she endured but then I was just in awe of how she powered through it and moved her own career forward and look where she is now, on a nationally broadcasted talk show talking about her books.

So from now on I am not going to be discouraged by my rejection letters (I have a small stack growing on my desk) and I am not going to doubt myself every time someone decides to pass on an article. I am not going to stop at one rejection, but rather power through and press on until someone gives me the yes that I know I deserve to hear. Of course when I get my media company up and running I may not even need someone’s yes, I’ll just create my own. Until tomorrow…Don’t let rejection stop you when there’s a yes right around the corner!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

From the Outside Looking In

January 13, 2012 jcladyluv

It is funny how the people closest to you can see things in you and possibilities for you that you never even had in mind for yourself. We plan things for our life and never count on the unexpected opportunities that pop up along the way. You know those things that you never thought you would be good at but that somehow fit right into you niche that you are carving out for yourself.

Ms. L has foreseen something for me that somehow fits right into my other plans for my Media Company and that might actually help elevate things to the next level but it is something that I never even thought about doing before. I must admit (she’s going to say I told you so later) that her foresight could be quite lucrative if it is as successful as she thinks it could be. But I am just afraid that because it’s something I could never see myself doing, that other people will look at me with that judgmental look and the lingering questions in their mind of ‘how can she possibly be successful at this’. Why not, it’s the same question I have for myself.

But I promised her that I would give it some thought (and I don’t want to say what it is until I’m sure that I would actually do it) and that I would stop putting that wall up for myself and telling myself that I can’t do something before I even try. Sometimes Ms. L sees things in the bigger picture that I never even saw and it’s amazing what the opinion from someone on the outside looking in can mean to your projected future. I think I like Ms. L’s view of my projected future. Until tomorrow…What do you project for your future?

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

The Support Around You

January 11, 2012 jcladyluv

Ms. L wrote a blog post the other night about hustling hard for what you want out of life. I will say that she has got to be the best hustler I know. When she sets her mind to something and decides that it’s going to happen, she makes it happen, one way or another. She is a perfect example of the type of friend and person in general that you want surrounding you when you are on a mission to greatness. They say that birds of a feather flock together and when I was in high school I never understood what that really meant, nor how true that statement was.

My mother used to hear about certain people that I associated with in high school doing something they didn’t have any business doing, and she would just automatically assume that I was doing the same things (which I wasn’t). She said that if you surround yourself with certain types of people then that’s the type of person people will think you are. At the time I thought that it was her being highly judgmental and unfair. I felt that if you liked someone or at least a lot of their attributes then there shouldn’t be a problem being their friend even if the two of you were total opposites on everything. I learned as I grew into an adult that my mother (I cringe as I say this) was right.

You don’t want the people in your circle to be exactly like you (that would just be boring) but you do want them to be people who understand you and your goals and ambitions and who are as ambitious about whatever they want as you are. You want people surrounding you that are like-minded and that are going to push you when you need a push. You need people who have their own sense of direction and motivate you to find and follow yours.

A writer in particular needs a good source of support and motivation in the people that they associate with. While I have other good supportive people in my circle that motivate me in various ways (as I hopefully motivate them), none of them I admire quite as much as Ms. L. Her post the other night about hustling harder (and our conversation that came afterwards) gave me great encouragement and motivation.

I am probably not the best hustler in terms of going after everything I want with extreme vigor but because I am not, it is good to have someone in my corner, in my circle, who is. Someone who can be a model example of the kind of hustling I should be doing. Surrounding yourself with the right people, as a writer, is vitally important and should be something that you should definitely reevaluate if you haven’t before. I thank Ms. L for being the kind of friend and fellow writer that I can take a multitude of notes from and for not being stingy with your secrets along your pathway to success. I hope all of you out there have someone in your circle that pushes you to be your very best. Until tomorrow…If you haven’t already, make sure you have your support team in place!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”