Fear – Page 7 – Write 2 Be

That Voice Inside My Head That Just Won’t Be Quiet

March 25, 2013March 25, 2013 jcladyluv

The other day I met up with a writing friend of mine who I hadn’t seen in a while and of course we talked about our perspective projects and how our impending writing careers were coming along. Neither one of us have gotten to where we want to be in our writing careers but both of us were full of excitement over our ideas of how we can possibly get there. I didn’t have my optimism cap on that day so while I was excited about my ideas, I wasn’t able to express as much hope of them coming to fruition as she had for them.

She actually said that listening to all of my ideas and knowing how talented I am as a writer, she could see dollar signs when she looked at me. She said that I have so many great ideas and such a wealth of knowledge to impart on others and she didn’t see why I didn’t see all of the potential income that was there for me. All I could hear inside my head was that little nagging voice that keeps telling me that none of it will ever work.

Despite the fact that I have seen others with ideas similar to mine and some not even as great as mine that were maximizing their ideas into a steady and stable income for themselves all I could think to myself was that it would never work for me. I don’t know what it is that creeps in and keeps feeding me the notion that I am not good enough and not as good as other writers out there but every so often there it is. It just keeps whispering all of the negative thoughts about myself that I have thought for most of my life and have been working tirelessly to get away from thinking.

Some days it’s harder than others to think the best things and to see in myself what others seem to see in me. When I finished meeting with my friend I did feel more energized and like I had more ideas than I did when I first sat down. The problem with me has never been coming up with good ideas, but rather bringing those ideas to life and displaying them for all to see. It would be nice to get to a point where I am just always confident in my abilities as a writer, as a business person, and to stop doubting and questioning myself.

I know that if I could get there, to that point of confidence, then things would flow easier and with less fear. It’s funny because people will say, “well if you know that that’s all you need to do is have more confidence then why don’t you just have more confidence so you can do what needs to be done” but it is a lot easier said then done. I think it is interesting just how many writers there are that actually question how good they are at what they do. It’s nice to know that it’s not just me. How is your writer confidence level?

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Write 2 Be Magazine is now out so please go check it out at http://write2bemagazine.com/. Also please go and join the magazine on twitter https://twitter.com/write2bemag, join the email listing for the magazine or submit a request for an author interview at Write2bemagazine@yahoo.com, and also like the Write 2 Be Magazine fan page https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine. Please help support my endeavor and my new journey and help me spread the word about Write 2 Be and its meaning.

We Have To Be Aware of What We Are Inviting Into Our Lives

March 4, 2013 jcladyluv

“God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a disciplined mind.”

~ 2 Timothy 1:7

It’s a new week and I am starting off this week feeling inspired. I was watching Joel Osteen again yesterday (another one of those instances where I accidentally turned to the channel) and the topic of his message was fear, specifically activating faith instead of activating fear. Obviously this is an issue that I have within myself because I have been known to miss a lot of opportunities due to my fear for one thing or another.

However, this message wasn’t just discussing how fear holds you back but rather about how dwelling on our fears is giving those fears power and essentially when we are fearful we are coming into agreement with whatever it is that we are afraid of, therefore giving it a right to become a reality. There were so many things that Joel Osteen spoke about in his message that struck a chord with me and I really wanted to share them with those of you out there who feel like they are constantly fearful of whatever might happen and who increasingly worry about being defeated and failing. Below I have listed the things that had the most impact on me and maybe they can impact your life as well:

Whatever you meditate on is what is going to take root.
Fear and faith have something in common; they both ask us to believe something is going to happen that we can not see.
Fear is using your faith in the wrong direction.
The first place that we lose the battle is in our own thinking.
When you go around dwelling on your fears, expecting the worst to happen, you are inviting the worst into your life.
By worrying you are saying that you do not have faith in what God has in store for you.
When the enemy is placing negative thoughts in your mind and you agree with those negative thoughts, you are coming into agreement with that negativity; Pay attention to what you are coming into agreement with.
Fear always presents itself to look much bigger than it really is.
Fear can create a barrier; wrong thinking can keep you from God’s best.
Don’t agree with what the fear says about you, agree with what God says about you.

In the end of his message Joel Osteen asked two really important questions. How many times do we kill our own dreams with our thoughts and how many times have we stopped God’s blessings and his favor because we are dwelling on the fear? We give the fear we have way too much power and by giving it that power we in a sense agree with whatever our fear tells us is going to happen.

Fear has become something that the majority of us deal with on a pretty consistent basis (I feel like I am attacked by it most times) but watching Joel Osteen yesterday I started to realize that the key to dealing with fear is not to face it head on, but rather to not even invite it in your life to begin with. Instead of worrying about all of the things that can or have gone wrong, take note of all of the things that have not gone wrong and trust in the fact that God would never put anything on your path that was meant to harm you or to keep you from the destiny that he has prepared for you.

Rather than inviting fear and defeat (or bad luck) into your everyday life, invite victory and realize that with every obstacle that we face and every hurdle that we jump over, we are becoming even more victorious in reaching the life we were destined to have. Have you been unknowingly inviting all of the things that you are afraid of into your life? Don’t activate fear, activate faith! When fear knocks, let faith answer the door.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Getting To the Task At Hand

March 1, 2013 jcladyluv

So adhering to my own words in my post the other day about having deadlines, I have decided to use my calendar for productivity and not just let it sit there waiting to be filled with events that are not yet in the works. I took out my planner and although I had planned on filling it with events and conferences that I would be headed to this year (which is still not out of the realm of possibility), I decided to begin making those deadlines that I said I needed to set for myself.

The first task on my calendar is to send out those queries and letters of introduction to those publications that I am terrified will say No to my work. I suppose the reality is that they can’t say yes if I don’t submit anything at all. Of course the biggest deadlines that I had to set for myself is to finish the one novel that I’ve been working on for a while now (what feels like forever) and outlining and beginning the next one that I am anxious to get working on next.

I’m actually scheduled to start working on accomplishing some of those deadlines this weekend so I am looking forward to getting back to work on my novel. I’ve actually really missed my character and she’s kind of been wondering why I abandoned her story. Do all of you have your projects lined up for this weekend yet? I hope all of you have a wonderful weekend!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Beware of the False Negatives

February 21, 2013 jcladyluv

I think that sometimes people, particularly artists, have a hard time trusting ourselves. I’ve noticed that with myself at least. I know I’ve shared with all of you in the past that I constantly second guess myself and then when I decide on something, I rethink it and wonder if I made the right choice. I wonder if I’m good enough. Sometimes I even think that when I have confidence in something that I might be getting too far ahead of myself because maybe, just maybe, I shouldn’t be nearly as confident as I am.

I tend to give advice to others about trusting their gut and doing what they know if right for them and trust that God will not steer them wrong or allow them to get too far off course. I give good advice that I never seem to be able to take myself. I seem to have no problem filling my head with all of these false negatives, I’m not good enough, I’m not smart enough, I’m not strong enough, I didn’t work hard enough, I didn’t try enough, but the odd thing is that deep down inside I know those to be false statements and yet they are so much easier to believe then the truth. Why do we do that?

We tell ourselves the worst, perhaps trying to not allow ourselves to get big headed or to get overly confident or to get our hopes up, but why shouldn’t we be all of those things? Why shouldn’t we be confident and why shouldn’t our hopes be raised? Joel Osteen said something in one of his sermons that stuck with me. He said “you can’t have faith if you don’t first have hope”. We’re always so worried about the other shoe dropping from somewhere out of the sky to make everything around us crumble.

The fact is that so many things can go wrong that we don’t need to add to it by standing by and waiting for what we presume might be the inevitable. Instead of worrying about this invisible shoe from some unknown place and filling our heads with all of these false negatives that we like to tell ourselves about our own abilities, why don’t we just chose to act now. Act on those instincts, don’t second guess, don’t over think, don’t wonder if you’re good enough, don’t question all that might go wrong, just take action.

Think of all of the opportunities you’re walking right pass while you are worrying and waiting for that other shoe that just might never drop. It’s a false expectation that helps to foster all of those false negatives that you have come to rely on to be true. Sometimes the lies we tell ourselves can end up being the death of all of our dreams.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

The Perception of Strength

February 7, 2013February 7, 2013 jcladyluv

It may sound strange but I sometimes get annoyed with people always using strong as one of the words to describe me. People tell me that I’ve been through so much and that with all of the struggles that I’ve had and still have they are amazed at my strength and how I manage to persevere through it and towards something better.

I want to say “it’s not as if I actually have a choice, I can’t just curl up and die”. More importantly I want to let them know that I am most certainly not strong, at least not any stronger than they are or anyone else out in this world going through horrific tragedies. What exactly is it to be strong anyway?

I think that people have this idea, particularly about women, that they are always sure of themselves, sure of where they are going, unafraid, and iron willed. There is this notion that if we are emotional, if we show our vulnerability, if we express our fears and our doubts, that somehow that makes us weak. I must admit I have played into that a lot.

I’m an extremely emotional person and I don’t try to hide it but I find myself sometimes apologizing for it and in many ways feeling embarrassed because of it. My mother once told me that tears and crying is for the weak and I have to admit that this made me even more apprehensive about showing my emotions to the general public.

For the people that really know me, on a deep and personal level, and they know my weaknesses and love me because of them as well as in spite of them, I will show that side. However, for the rest of the world, the outside people who have yet to get to know me, I have discovered that I have become that person who tries to put on the front of strength because I don’t want them to see what they might perceive as weak.

The thing that I have learned through discovering more about myself is that it is okay to not be iron willed all the time. Showing emotion, shedding tears, being afraid, or having doubts doesn’t make you any less strong than the people who won’t let their guard down enough to show cracks of vulnerability.

Strength is not in just bouncing back from tragedy or powering through the hard times. Strength isn’t about shutting people out because you are afraid of getting rejected. Strength is not always proving that you have all of the answers when things don’t go as planned. Strength is about being able to admit that you are afraid. It’s about acknowledging that you don’t have all the answers and that it’s okay, because you don’t need all of the answers today. Having strength is acknowledging that sometimes it is okay to be weak. As I shift into the next level of my journey and move further towards my success I don’t want to waste time and energy trying to keep up a front of always being strong. Because I am not.

I Have the Write 2 Be Strong In Spite of My Weaknesses… What is Your Write 2 Be?

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Being Optimistic Is Giving Me More Drive

January 4, 2013 jcladyluv

The first week of the New Year has actually started off pretty good. I mean nothing miraculous happened, nothing earth shattering or life altering, but on the up side nothing terribly bad happened (at least nothing that I couldn’t handle). I’ve actually been rather productive, at least more than normal, and while there are still things on my to-do list for the week that haven’t been completed yet, I would say that I am very proud of what I’ve accomplished so far.

That’s not saying that I don’t have a lot of improvement to do, especially in my time management skills, but I am a work in progress (as we all are) and I have progressed into not beating myself up over the things that didn’t get done. I just know that I have to be more determined and more persistent in getting my list completed next week. I do have some major things that I have to tackle over the weekend in the efforts to finish putting the magazine together and that is actually going to be my main focus for the weekend.

I don’t know why I have not mastered the art of time management yet but I really hope that I can shuffle things around a lot better in the coming weeks. I have been replacing most of my negative thoughts and fears with positive outlooks and all in all (unlike the last few years) I am feeling very optimistic for this year. Well I hope all of you have had a very productive first week of the New Year and that all of your projects are off and running.

I have the Write 2 Be Productive and Prosperous… What is your Write 2 Be?

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Write 2 Be Magazine will be debuting on January 15^th, 2013 so please go join the magazine on twitter before it debuts on https://twitter.com/write2bemag and join the email listing for the magazine at Write2bemagazine@yahoo.com. Also please feel free to go and friend me on facebook at http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310 and like my Write 2 Be Magazine fan page. Please help support my endeavor and my new journey and help me spread the word about Write 2 Be and its meaning.

Tapping Into the Inner Child In All of Us

January 3, 2013 jcladyluv

I wrote yesterday about the fears that hold me back and releasing those fears. Writing it down was quite therapeutic in many ways. Then I read a blog post this morning from one of the many that I follow that made me think about when I was a child.

When we are children there is rarely anything that we are afraid of. We are told (well I wasn’t told this but most children were and I believed it was true as well) that anything that you want is possible if you put your mind to it and go after it. Children don’t really see the negative when it comes to their dreams and the future that they think up for themselves. They try time and time again and they NEVER give up.

Think of how many times your children have tried to persuade you into getting something that they wanted and were relentless until (most likely) you finally gave in or miraculously made it happen. My best friend Ms. L. and I are always having the situation where our kids are asking for something that they really want (because everything kids want is a matter of life or death in their mind) and it usually seems impossible for us to get them those things but their faith is unshakable and they hold firm to the fact that they are going to win out in the end.

Meanwhile we are both scratching our heads trying to think of how to make what they want possible. Needless to say, some miraculous way we manage to be able to give them their hearts desire and all the while they never had any doubt that we would. In their minds it was always going to work out to their benefit and just the way they wanted it. Now that’s some kind of faith. Just imagine if we could all tap back into that childlike faith when it comes to our dreams and our hearts desires.

I go to the skating rink all the time and I watch these kids do all of these tricks and amazing things on skates and it’s not that they are all trained to do them, it’s that they are fearless in trying. They don’t care if they fall because they’ll just get back up and try it again. They don’t care if they don’t get it the first, second, or third time around, they will just keep going until they finally do get it. Meanwhile the adults (myself included) are watching in awe, wishing that we could do just half of the things they are able to do instead of actually just going out and trying it.

If we could all just stop standing by and watching while everyone else is doing the things that we long to be doing then just imagine what we could do in this world, for our lives, for our children’s lives. We keep limiting the things that we can do but should we be. I mean obviously we can’t miraculously (by ourselves) make the world the better place that I’m sure we all desire it to be and yeah sure we can’t actually hold the whole world in the palm of our hands but why the hell can’t we at least try.

Perhaps we could try looking at obstacles and struggles from a child’s point of view; with unyielding faith and unstoppable determination. Think about it this way, children seem to get everything that they want simply because they believe that they will. So let’s try having a little more faith and a lot less wonder. They more you keep wondering about whether or not something is going to happen, the more you are actually wondering away from the very thing that you want. Don’t wonder away from your dreams, just have faith that they ARE going to come true.

I have the Write 2 Be Persistent and Determined… What is your Write 2 Be?

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Releasing the Fears That Keep Holding Me Back

January 2, 2013 jcladyluv

Okay so as a part of my drive to make this year much better then the last couple of years, pertaining to my writing career, I suppose it would be helpful to address the things that hold me back from progressing the way I should be. I realized that when I blog the things that I need to improve upon and work harder at that it helps me to hold myself more accountable in making sure that I do just that.

So today I was thinking about all of the new avenues of freelancing that I want to get into and the magazines that I want to write for and I started to feel myself, once again, making excuses for why it just wouldn’t be possible for me to do those. Three thoughts always pop in my mind when I start to feel confident enough to try something different or shoot for something that seems out of reach at the moment.

1) There are so many writers that are better then me, what if my writing isn’t good enough to compete with them.

2) What makes me qualified enough to speak about certain aspects of writing if I’ve never done it before.

3) What if they just don’t like my writing style and they say no. What if the no’s just keep coming?

Those are the things that scare me about having my own writing business and having to do this thing all on my own. But those are the things that I also promised myself I would not let stop me this year. I can’t really stop those thoughts from creeping back into my subconscious from time to time but I can figure out how to combat them with positive thinking and find a way to move past those negative thoughts so that it doesn’t become a bump in the road for me.

Putting them out there, writing them down so that they become more visible and not just a voice inside my head accentuating all of the negative, actually really does help. It helps me realize that these are fears I can deal with. I may not be the best writer in the world (I’m not really sure who could claim that title) but I am a good writer and all I can do is work on making myself better and keep on knocking on those doors until people do say yes. That’s what I’m going to do. So for anyone out there is tired of hearing no from people and who may be feeling a little defeated, just keep knocking on those doors. Someone will say yes, but only if you keep on knocking.

I have the Write 2 Be Courageous and Bold… What is your Write 2 Be?

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

What a Better Writer I Will Be…

December 19, 2012 jcladyluv

As the New Year approaches I become a little more anxious for the year to come. Not necessarily because I think that something miraculous will happen (one can still hope though) but because I am going into the year more focused on what needs to be done, and more importantly on what I have to do to get those things done. One thing is for sure, I could stand to become a much better writer because as a writer, your learning is never done. Below I listed several things that I will plan on doing in the year 2013 to become a better writer and maybe some of these things can be things that help some of you as well.

1.) Write Every Day— I know that there are some that would argue that you should never force yourself to write if you are not feeling “the muse” to write. However, I believe that writing everyday is important in becoming a more effective and insightful writer. It’s just like a regular job. You can’t wake up and just say I don’t feel like going so I’m not going to go. This is my job and I will make a stronger effort in the New Year to treat it as such.

2.) Read Every Day— Okay lately I have not been the avid reader that I once was and that I still would like to be. There’s been this reason, or that reason, why I haven’t been able to plant my but in a chair and read, but really there’s no valid excuse. I know that reading more makes an even stronger writer. So in this year I am going to not only make a promise to just read more, but rather to read everyday. Whether it’s just a couple of pages, or even just a page, so long as I read.

3.) Share My Writing More— I’ve always been apprehensive about joining a writing critique group or any type of writing community. It’s not that I haven’t but I just haven’t embraced the concept as much as I should have been. So in my effort to make my writing better and stronger, I will share my work with others more this year.

4.) Take Better Care of Myself— I am already learning that taking care of myself will make it even more possible for me to do those things that I strive to do in a successful way. I feel myself becoming stronger as a person as I begin to place more priority in taking care of me, and that is making me an even stronger writer. It also makes me a more confident writer. I have to keep reminding myself to take better care of me so that in the long run I become stronger and more successful in everything else I want to do.

5.) Don’t Let Writer’s Block Get In My Way— I have had my struggles with writer’s block in the past and I have allowed this to be the reason why things were not able to get done. Because of that excuse, I have many novels started and not finished and many missed opportunities that I have let slip through my fingers. I am not going to use this excuse anymore because it is just that, an excuse. If I have to balance multiple projects so that if I get blocked on one project, I can simply move to the other project, then that’s what I am going to do.

6.) Take a Writing Course— As a writer it is also important to keep the knowledge of the craft sharp. This requires honing your craft more, not only by reading on the craft of writing, but also in taking a course on writing. I would like to say that I can take several courses in the next year to be able to sharpen my writing skills, but realistically, I may not have the money for that. But I think I can manage one course at the very least.

7.) Research More— I have always loved research. From historical events and historical figures, to the places in the world that I dream of traveling to. I have to admit I haven’t done much of it in this past year but that’s what I want to get back to.

8.) Become a Better Marketer of Myself— Okay I know that it doesn’t sound like this has anything to do with actually writing but if I’ve learned nothing else over the past year it is that if no one sees all of your hard work then you don’t get your writing noticed. In order to get more of your writing out there for all to see I have to become better at marketing my writing myself, and my brand. I admit I have A LOT of work to do in the area of marketing myself but it is definitely a focus for me in the year to come.

9.) Attend Writer’s Conferences and Events— This goal may present some challenges because a lot of writer’s conferences and events these days are just not as affordable as they once were. They actually used to have writing conferences that were free (go figure!) for those who, like me, just couldn’t afford it. However, I am going to make an extra effort to at least make it possible to attend one at some point this coming year.

10.) Do Things That Scare Me— Fear is something that I struggle with so much. There’s so many things that I haven’t done, simply out of fear. So if I can do something that scares me, not just one thing, maybe something every month or every week, then perhaps I can learn to stop being so scared of things that I just can’t control. Perhaps then I will actually achieve all that I want.

You won’t find too many writers who will say that they are at a point where they don’t need to learn more, do more, or be better than what they already are. If you do they are either the greatest writer that has ever lived or they are fooling themselves. We all get comfortable sometimes in the accomplishments that we have made and in how far we have already come. Often times we forget that there is still so much more left to learn, and more left to do, and even further to go. We grow as writers, when we acknowledge that we have a lot of growing left to do!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

The Writer That Doesn’t Put Themselves Out There Doesn’t Get Seen

October 18, 2012 jcladyluv

It is very hard to put yourself out there in any capacity, be it love or your career. It stirs up feelings of fear of being rejected, not being good enough, not being accepted, not succeeding at your end goal, and even of how you will handle it if you do succeed. Being a writer, you find yourself having to put yourself out there quite often, at least until you have put in enough hard work and effort to where the people you want to write for are finally coming to you.

It takes time to get to that point, where you are no longer the cat in the cat and mouse game of becoming successful at earning your income as a writer, and have finally become the mouse being sought after. I used to wonder when I started trying to make a go at this, just how long do I have to keep putting myself all out there only to continually be rejected time and time again before someone comes looking for me.

I realize now, and frankly way too late, that in order to become and remain a successful writer, you can’t ever stop putting yourself out there. Even more embarrassing and much to my deep regret, I have realized that I have wasted so much time feeling all of those fears and playing into them, that I haven’t actually been putting myself out there (not nearly as much as I should have been anyway) and I only have myself to blame for not being a household name by now.

The blame doesn’t fall on the editor’s and the people who haven’t accepted my wonderful words and given me that chance that I am dying to have in order to get into all of those national magazines that I want to be featured in. I only have myself to blame for not completely putting myself out there. They can’t accept what I am too afraid to submit.

A writer’s only way of becoming published, of becoming that success that we all dream about becoming, is to keep putting themselves out there. No matter what the outcome, whether it is good or bad, they have to keep going for it, even when it seems impossible; especially when it seems to be impossible. A fighter never wins the battle if they never fight to begin with.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm