Tag: goals

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No Shortcuts

December 13, 2011 jcladyluv

We all seek something meaningful out of life. We have a sense of purpose that is sometimes beyond all rationality. And when it seems like it will take forever for us to reach that destination that we are striving to get to, we all sometimes wish that we could just wake up one day and be there, right where we feel we need to be in life. Unfortunately life does not work that way. Or maybe it’s fortunate for us that it doesn’t.

I was watching my soap opera today (Young and the Restless) and something was said on there that really struck a chord with me. What good is reaching your destination without having the experience of getting there? What good is it, it means nothing, and you learn nothing? I never thought of it like that.

If I were to just wake up one day and have it all handed to me, everything that I want in this life, without having the struggle of actually getting to those proud and joyful moments, then would it mean as much? Without all of the blood, sweat, and tears put into making my dreams come true, would they mean as much and would I work just as hard to hold onto them? I can say that I would but I don’t know that.

Sometimes it is the struggle of the journey that makes the end result worth every bit of hardship that you went through. Sometimes there are no shortcuts in life, and I am discovering (though it took me a while to realize) that taking the long way to your destination can sometimes be the best thing you could ever do to satisfy your purpose. Until tomorrow…Don’t always go looking for the shorter way around things.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

NaNoWriMo Day 24: The Season for Preparation Begins

November 24, 2011 jcladyluv

Today reminds me that we are getting closer to a new year, with new plans, new goals, and new projects that we will be working on. I have to take a look at my goals that I had for this year and look at just how many I didn’t get accomplished and see which ones I think I might actually be able to achieve next year and which one’s are just out of my reach (at least for next year). I really should start a short term and long term goal list and then I might feel a little more accomplished come this time next year. I don’t know if I have told you guys but I am an extremely overly ambitious person, sometimes to my own detriment. Usually as Christmas approaches I sit down and begin making a list of my goals, the projects I want to get done, and the books I want to read for the next year. While my friends who do this same thing have short, attainable lists, my lists look like the goals of about two or three people put together. My challenge when I make my list this year is to make my lists something that I can feasibly accomplish. My list has to be something that meets my ambitions, but does not exceed my own reality. It needs to be a list that when I go back and look at it at the end of the year I’m not going to feel like I am an absolute failure because I didn’t even get half of a ridiculously long list done. So as Thanksgiving moves out and the Christmas season officially begins, so does the preparations for the year to come. Until next time…What are your goals for next year going to look like?

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

If It’s What You Love To Do, Stay Hungry and Stay Foolish

October 17, 2011 jcladyluv

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.”

~Steve Jobs

When Steve Jobs died on October 5 he left behind so much more than just his extensive contribution to the technological world. In my opinion, what’s worth far more than his Apple Company is the determination that it took for him to reach his level of success and the words that he expressed in his 2005 commencement speech at StanfordUniversity. I must admit that I had not actually took the time to watch the speech until after his death but there was so much that I got out of those fifteen minutes. One thing he said that stuck with me was to not let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.

Another memorable thing that I took away from his speech was his last four words; Stay hungry, stay foolish. It seemed to be words that he lived by until his dying day and I found these words to be both intriguing and inspiring. When you stay hungry you never really lose sight of what is at stake for your dreams. You stay focused and steady. You stay driven and determined. You never settle if you have not gotten to where it is you want to be. When you allow yourself to stay foolish you give yourself permission to have the courage to do the things that everybody else might think of as stupid or crazy. Those that remain foolish have the ability to ignore the logic that might be telling them that something will be too difficult or impossible to make happen.

In the last few weeks I have been continually told, in so many words, that what I want for my life is not going to happen and that I am wasting my time with it. I should just go make a career out of working behind a desk and be content with that because it’s a good living. They say writing is not practical, writing will never make me rich or even provide enough money to live off, writing is a great hobby but it’s not realistically possible to make it, especially in the current economy. Well I say to hell with anyone who tells me that doing what I love to do, what I was born to do, is a waste of my time. It’s who I am and it’s all I’ve ever wanted to do.

It’s not as if I just woke up a year or two ago and said hey, I think I want to be a writer now. I have known since I was six years old that this was what my purpose in life was and I have never, in 25 years, wavered from that belief. Honestly, at this point I’ve put in so much time and sacrificed so much in the effort of making this work that I can’t go back now. Sure I’m not where I would like to be within my career at this point, nor where I thought I would be, but I know it’s coming because I know it’s meant for me.

So many times I hear about or see people who have spent their lives doing something that is practical and might have garnered them success but it wasn’t what they wanted for themselves. It wasn’t the way that they wanted to achieve their success and they weren’t very happy. They spent their lives living up to others’ standards and other people’s ideas of normal and practical. They lived a life, but it wasn’t theirs.

I’ve already wasted too much of my limited time on this earth living the way someone else thought I should, doing what was practical all the while longing to follow my heart. I am not going to leave this world feeling like I didn’t at least try to live the life I was meant to live. As Steve Jobs also said in his brilliant speech, “Remembering that you are going to die is the best way to avoid the trap of thinking that you have something to lose…” What good is living if I am not going to go for it all, come hell or high water? I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to really throw caution to the wind and just jump feet first without worrying what will go wrong. I think that I’m going to start finding out. I thank you Steve Jobs for being brave enough to Stay hungry and Stay foolish. Until next time…Imagine all of what you can do if you were just a little more foolish and a lot less logical.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

What Would You Do If You Were Not Afraid?

October 11, 2011 jcladyluv

“Whatever you fear most has no power—it is your fear that has the power.

~Oprah Winfrey

I was watching the interview that Oprah did with facebook’s COO, Sheryl Sandberg the other night and I managed to get some really inspirational things from it, but that’s no surprise considering it is Oprah. I think that the most insightful thing that I got from it was when Oprah talked about the fear she had at starting her own cable network. She said that one of the ways that she was able to move past that fear was to make a list of all of the things that she would do if she were not afraid to do them. I immediately jotted down a few notes and started pondering what my list would look like.

Now anyone who knows me knows that I am the queen of list making so of course I couldn’t just sit and ponder what would be on my list, I had to actually make my list. The funny thing was that I put quite a few things on that list that I didn’t even realize that I actually had a yearning to do. There were things that I am so afraid of doing that I had somehow convinced myself that I didn’t want to do those things simply out of fear. In writing them down and being completely honest with myself I realized that I do want to do those things, I’m just scared to. But what kind of existence can I possibly have always being afraid to do what it is I really want to do?

We are all afraid of something. Fear is just a part of life. We are going to be afraid of something, and it is even going to trip us up for a while, but how long do you let that fear control the destination of your journey? I know I can’t kick that habit of fear overnight, hell probably not even in a month or so, but I know it’s not helping me meet my goals. I think that I am going to put my list up on my bulletin board in an effort to remind me of all of the things that I am missing out on by being afraid to do them, or at the very least try.

So since I am a little bit afraid to share any part of this list with the rest of the world for fear of becoming vulnerable I am in fact going to share a part of that list:

Open my own bookstore
Go to culinary arts school and pursue opening my own restaurant.
Write a soap opera and present it for production.
Write a stage play and get it produced.
Hound a national magazine or newspaper until they hire me to write for them.
Start my own internet talk/radio show.
Audition for the X-factor.
Start doing motivational speaking to kids and teens in elementary and high schools about the dangers of bullying.

Okay so that was only a small part of my list but I don’t want to go sharing everything. So I think that everyone should go make their own list of what they would do if they were not afraid. If you don’t mind sharing maybe you could leave a comment and share one of those things that you would do. If it’s out there, then there’s no reason to be afraid anymore, right? Even if you don’t share make the list anyway, you just might find it liberating. Until next time…Do what it is you are most afraid of!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

What Could Have Been

September 21, 2011 jcladyluv

“You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present.”

~Jan Glidewell

The other night I was talking to Ms. L and I was feeling a little down because I had a lot of things on my mind. I was thinking of all the curveballs that I have been thrown in life. I was doing a lot of wondering about what could have been.

What if I had done what I was supposed to do all the way through high school and had been able to get a full scholarship to the college of my choice inNew York? What if when I did go to college, not necessarily the one that I wanted to go to, and I had been better prepared for college life and had gotten the grades that I should’ve gotten or at least sought help when I was failing? What if I hadn’t gotten in a really bad relationship and gotten so steered off course from what my vision of my life was? What if I hadn’t met a man who I thought was the love of my life and had a child with him which derailed me going back to school until the late age of 27?

The truth is my life would more than likely be at a very different place, maybe even where I envisioned it being. Had I done all the things that I should’ve done in the correct time frame that it should have been done in I may very well already be into my writing career and perhaps even a lot closer to the top of that media mogul ladder that I am now struggling to climb. But in talking to Ms. L. the other night she helped me to see that everything does in fact happen for a reason and that just because the course of my journey has had to change, the vision has always remained the same and that’s what matters the most.

If I had never been directed to Morgan State University (which was not the school I had always wanted to attend) then I would’ve never met Ms. L. and I can not imagine going through this life without a friend as good as her and as supportive and motivating as her. If I hadn’t met the man who I thought was the love of my life, then I would not have my amazing daughter and I can not even begin to say how thankful I am for her and I wouldn’t trade her for all the money and success in the world.

So many of the things that I have been through are responsible for shaping the person I am today. But in all of that my vision of what I wanted in terms of my career goals and what I feel God put me on this earth to do have never changed. I have never questioned what I am meant to do. Now I may not have answered all of the previous doors that opportunity was knocking at, and looking back perhaps those doors were not meant for me to answer, but I certainly believe that there are still more opportunities out there that I may just have to build my own door to.

What could have been in anyone’s life is not always how things should’ve been and I firmly believe that God knows your path before you even develop a path in your own mind. So who am I to question what could have been when God already has a plan for what will be and the least that I can do, after all he has seen me through and all the talents and abilities that he has blessed me with, is follow the path that he has mapped out for me, not the one that I had mapped out for myself. Until next time…Don’t get sidetracked by the curveballs, just change your plan of how to attack them the next time you’re up to bat!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

I Regret Not Being Fearless

September 14, 2011 jcladyluv

“Being fearless isn’t being 100% unafraid; it’s being terrified, but you jump in anyway!”

~Taylor Swift

I was watching an interview the other night on Lady GaGa and her rise to fame and her upbringing. I was excited to watch this interview because while I am a fan of her music, I am an even greater fan of her business savvy and her work ethic. She has certainly made a name for herself and her story didn’t start off that much different from other people that have a particular dream growing up. Of course her upbringing was different in terms of the fact that she probably had a lot more things in the pros column than the cons but the struggle to achieve her dream was still there.

What I love and can appreciate most about her is her bravery and her fearlessness. She has never been and still isn’t afraid to do anything when it comes to accomplishing her dreams and she seems to jump head first into everything without ever really looking back. Watching the interview I found myself wishing that I had that same fearlessness and bravery, both as a child growing up and especially now.

So many times I had opportunities when I was younger to maybe go to some poetry event or open mic night and read some of my poetry or even sing (because I could actually sing a lot better when I was younger) but I was too afraid. Afraid to be on stage in front a crowd full of people, afraid that they wouldn’t like my poetry or like my voice, afraid that I somehow would not be good enough and that maybe the talent that I thought I had was all made up in my head and that no one else would share the same thought. I wasted so much time on all of the cons and I missed out on all of the pros, all because I wasn’t fearless enough.

I guess it’s too late to wonder what could’ve and might’ve been if I had just been brave enough to jump head first into any number of the things that I wanted to do. The only thing left to do now is strive to be brave and fearless from this point on. After watching the interview I was wondering aloud to my best friend, was it just simply too late for me to do the things that I really wanted. I mean I’m 31 now and I’m not getting any younger and my dreams aren’t becoming any more attainable as time goes by. She told me (being the voice of reason that she always seems to be) that it’s never too late as long as I still have the ability and the passion to do those things that I want to do.

That voice of fear was in my ear yet again but this time I don’t plan on feeding into it. I’ve wasted too much time already and now it’s time for me to be brave, and yes even fearless. So how brave and fearless are you willing to be for your dreams? Until next time…Be brave, don’t give yourself anything else to regret!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

An Ambitious Nature

September 12, 2011 jcladyluv

“If a woman is sufficiently ambitious, determined and gifted – there is practically nothing she can’t do.”

~Helen Lawrenson

I would like to think that I have an ambitious nature. Whether it is a low level of ambition or I am overly ambitious varies depending upon what day it is. I think that might just be my problem. With the things that I want out of this life and what I would like to accomplish as far as my career goals, I can not afford to have too many of days of underachievement where I don’t even reach the standard that I have set for myself.

On my accountability list that I emailed to my best friend last night of the goals that I need to accomplish this week I actually added to the number of things to get done this week. The first week my list had 8 items, the second it had 9, and this week it has 12. The way I see it, the more I expect of myself, the more I am likely to get accomplished.

Now I realize this method might not work every week but I am trying to get myself to that level where I don’t have weeks of underachievement, just weeks where I have tackled all of my ambitions head on and achieved them without fail. Now I am not so unrealistic as to think that every single week I am going to be able to actually check off everything on that list but nothing beats a failure but a try.

My message to those out there that might think that they are being a bit too ambitious (or unrealistic), don’t listen to that voice in your mind that is telling you that. Having higher expectations of yourself enables you to keep yourself on your toes and to raise your own bar. So how high are you willing to set your bar? Leave me a comment and tell me, what are some of the ways you make sure to hold yourself accountable for you goals? Well I guess I better go get started on that long list I have for this week. Until next time…stay on your toes!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

For the Busy Writers

September 9, 2011 jcladyluv

I was so engulfed in trying to be productive and finish my goal list for this week that I almost forgot to do this blog post which is also on my list of goals. So I thought I would share some time management tips that may help those writers out there are that are trying to figure out how to deal with their everyday busy lives and incorporate writing into that mix. Hope some of these tips are helpful to you.

Publicize your writing goals- Tell your friends and family, even your kids, what your goals are that you need to accomplish for the week, or for the month. Put a list of those goals up on the bulletin board in front of your desk (because all writers should have one) or on a post it note and stick it on your computer. If you have a blog share some of those goals with your readers. This will help you to hold yourself accountable to the tasks you set out to achieve because if you don’t, now someone else will.
Do the more time consuming tasks first- You may be tempted to check all the smaller things off your list first but none of those smaller things help you to accomplish the few bigger things on that list then you may still get to the end of the week with those things unfinished and it will feel less gratifying. If you knock the big things out of the way you will feel more accomplished by the end of the week.
Be flexible- You will probably never complete an entire writing project without having something go wrong along the way, or not necessarily wrong, just not as you originally planned them to go. Make some back up plans for when things get thrown off track. This will help you to bounce back quicker than you would if you were just left without some sense of knowing what to do next.
Track where your time goes- Often times we don’t even know where the time goes or what we have done with that time. If this is the case with you, it may be beneficial to chart out your day and make notes of what you do and when. See where you can cut some things out that may not be so necessary in order for you to implement for time for writing.
Just Say No- Distractions are just a part of life and for a writer it is often that people will dismiss your need to actually sit down and write. They expect you to always be available to talk or go out and it’s hard to say no and justify why you’re not spending time with them so you can write. If you start telling them NO and letting them know that this is something serious for you and that it matters, they will eventually get the message and respect your craft. But you have to say No first.

I hope that some of these tips are helpful to you. I am still working on practicing some of them myself. Well I better get back to my craft now. Until next time…be blessed!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

The Best You

September 8, 2011 jcladyluv

“The best way to get approval is not to need it! Focus on being the best you and the rest will take care of itself.”

~Chris Gardner

It is natural for people to want to seek approval from others. More often than not it is of the one’s that are immediately around you, like your friends and family. We want them to accept us and to be proud of us and to support us in our endeavors and always encourage our ambitions. When we don’t get that support and that approval, especially from family, we are crushed.

As hard as we may try to hide it and act as if it doesn’t really matter that they don’t get our goals and that they don’t approve of the path we chose, it matters. It begins to feel like if the one’s you love and are supposed to be able to look to for support can’t be there for you then everyone must be against you. However, the problem isn’t them for not approving the goals we put forth; the problem is us for depending on the approval of anyone but ourselves to begin with.

On the journey towards being successful in our dreams and or passions the focus has to be us; what we think, what we approve of, and what we demand of ourselves. At some point we are going to have to realize that seeking the approval of anyone else is only going to be our downfall. People spend so much time trying to do what others expect of them and trying to be perfect in order to fit someone else’s standards. What they should be focused on is meeting their own standards and not so much on being perfect but on being the best that they can be for themselves.

Trying to be what everyone else wants you to be can become exhausting and it wastes entirely too much time and energy that can be better spent. If the people around you are making you feel as if you aren’t meeting their expectations, then you need to reevaluate who it is that you are surrounding yourself with and if they are really what you need to be focused on. I know, easier said then done.

It’s hard to let go of that need to be accepted and I know because I’m still working on the letting go part. But I am starting to realize that all the time that I’ve wasted trying to seek approval and be accepted could’ve been time that went into actually accomplishing the very things that I sought approval for. So today you should stop and ask yourselves, whose approval is that you really need? Theirs, or your own. Until next time…Be the best you that you can possibly be and everyone else will just have to follow suit!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”