Tag: journey

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Nothing Like a Good Kick When You’re Down to Get You Going Again

October 9, 2012 jcladyluv

I have always known I wanted to be a writer (well obviously not as a baby but from the age of 6 so fairly young) and once I knew that writing was my dream I slowly began guiding myself towards that. Now at 6 I wasn’t crafting novels or anything (although that is not unheard of today) but I began reading all kinds of different stories and discovering what types of stories interested me. By the time I turned 10 I began taking the bad experiences that were going on at home and using those emotions that I felt to begin crafting poetry.

I started to envision all of the roads and paths that writing was going to take me down. I admit I was always a bit of a dreamer and that my dreams of where I was going to go within my writing career were probably a bit exaggerated but I could have sworn that I was going to be somewhere so different by the time I reached my thirties and I always imagined the best of circumstances.

Here I am now, in my early thirties, and I am not even in the vicinity of where I thought I would be at this point in my life. I feel as if life keeps kicking me when I’m already down and while I know that what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger, I don’t feel like I am getting any stronger with every struggle that comes my way. I sit and wonder at times where did things get off track and wonder if I could only go back to that point where the course changed then maybe I could finally get to the point that I want to be at.

The problem with that is that going back and trying to reroute the course changes a lot of the good things that have happened, one of them being my daughter, and I can’t say that I would trade a lot of the experiences that I have had for anything else. If I dwell on what could’ve been in some dreamed about future from when I was too young to know any better then I will begin to take for granted all of the good things that I do have. Not only that but I will take for granted all of the lessons that my mistakes have taught me.

I suppose there’s a reason for everything that happens. Even when you veer off the path that you were meant to travel on, the detours always provide something that you wouldn’t have experienced otherwise. It’s hard when you feel like you are continually being kicked when you are already down. However, the other side of that coin is that sometimes it takes a good kick to get you headed back in the right direction again. It’s never too late to change the circumstances that are keeping you down as long as you’re willing to keep getting right back up for the next round.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

There is No Comparison To Be Made

August 6, 2012 jcladyluv

So I have begun CampNaNoWriMo as of last Wednesday and I was right that it would help me get focused again on my novel. I haven’t necessarily written the amount of words I should have written by this point but I have gotten back into the story and my mind has started swirling ideas around regarding the outcome of my character.

My words are coming along much better then I thought they would but I do still have that feeling every once and a while of wishing that I could write like…well any of the writers who crank out more than three or four novels in a year. That list would contain some of my favorites like Joyce Carol Oates and James Patterson and Eric Jerome Dickey and Zane.

I keep thinking to myself I wish I could do whatever it is that they do to produce the amount of work that they produce. Then I remind myself that I have to stop comparing myself to other writers because I am not them, but rather the best version of myself that I can be. I do that a lot you know. Think that so many other people have it better than I do and have so much more than I do or that they seem to be able to be so much better at writing or succeeding in general than I am.

I try not to compare having the old saying in the back of my mind that the grass is not always greener on the other side, but it’s hard when you see others who just look like they have it all, like they have all the answers to the questions that I keep asking. But just like other people don’t know my story and my struggles, I do not know theirs either. I don’t know what they had to go through to get where they are and what they have to continue going through now that they’ve gotten where I seemingly would like to be.

It is a slow process but I am learning to take stock in what I have and what I can do because the truth is that there is no comparison to be made here. I am me, not anybody else and what I have is for me to have or for me to struggle with. I have to keep in mind that I shouldn’t wish for anyone else’s journey. These struggles and this journey of mine is what was meant for me to travel and I am going to take stock in every bump in the road along the way until I get to the destination that was meant for me.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Oh the Obstacles We Duck and Dodge While Investing In Our Future

June 6, 2012 jcladyluv

“If you make the investment up front, the return will come back later.”

~Bishop T.D. Jakes

As writers we go through many obstacles, if we’re lucky, before ever really hitting our stride in our career (and I say our, because I am speaking my future successes into existence even though it is not quite a reality yet). We go through tons of rejection, writer’s block, having doubters and negativity with anyone who doesn’t see the vision, and often times we are our own and biggest obstacle that stands in the way.

I was just talking to Ms. L. earlier and saying that I really wish that my journey to this success that I know I am destined for could be going a lot smoother and with a few less obstacles to stumble over. But then I quickly took that back because I remembered something I heard while listening to Bishop T.D. Jakes talk about living your life on purpose. He talked about making investments in your future, in your purpose, and how sometimes our mistakes and our struggles are our investments.

They are what make our successes all the more worthwhile. He said that sometimes “what you think is working against you is actually working for you” and that “it is the digression that causes the progression”. I suppose that is what is meant when people say what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger (although it never feels like that when you’re going through whatever it is you’re going through). Our struggles are in many ways our fuel and motivation to keep going and to keep dodging those obstacles as they come.

Bishop T.D. Jakes also said that when it comes to making investments into your future “you can never reap of a dividend where you don’t make an investment—you sow first and reap later; you can’t sow and reap at the same time.” I suppose that I have to be a little more patient as I make my investments and have a little bit more faith that everything will work out the way that it should.

I can’t honestly say that all of the obstacles along my journey have not had their purpose. It may not have felt like it at that particular point in time, but looking back on them now, they all, in so many ways, served their purpose. I think that all of the struggles that we go through are simply just preparation for when our success comes to fruition. Then we’ll be able to say to anyone who has something to throw at us to bring it on because there won’t be anything that they have to hit us with that we can’t handle.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

The Life You Breathe Into the Words That You Speak

May 30, 2012 jcladyluv

“As it is written, “I have made you the father of many nations”—in the presence of the God in whom he believed, who gives life to the dead and calls into existence the things that do not exist.”

~Romans 4:17

Words have a lot of power. Not just the words that we write down, but also the words that we speak. Not just to other people but the words that we tell ourselves. I was watching an interview between Dr. Wayne Dyer and Oprah Winfrey on her Super Soul Sunday show the other morning and he was speaking about the Art of manifestation and placing into our imagination who it is that we are and not stressing who it is that we are not.

That really hit me when he said that. No really, I was actually still asleep when the interview was on and I could hear the T.V. in my state of being still half sleep and half awake, but when I heard him say that it woke me up. I quickly sat up in my bed as I heard him talk about how people who constantly say I am depressed, I am sick, I am sad, I am broke, I am not good enough, are inadvertently breathing life into those words and those feelings. I thought to myself, I am one of those people.

Not because I ever wanted to be. Just because I think I spend way too much time professing the circumstances that I am stuck in instead of approaching it in the manner of claiming the end result. Something so simple as taking the phrase ‘I am broke’ out of your vocabulary, and claiming the prosperity that lies ahead of you and that is within your reach could change the journey for any one of us. Instead of reminding ourselves of what it is that we don’t have, or the not so positive feelings that we might be feeling, we have to lay claim to what it is that we want to be true.

It’s not that you should pretend that you are not depressed, rather that you can choose another thought to have. You can make the choice not to put into your imagination something that you don’t want to materialize. If I am feeling like I am just (as I felt all last week) not very much in the writing mood, and I breathe those words into life, then of course no writing is going to get done.

I am going to work very hard to start practicing those words of wisdom from Mr. Wayne Dyer in regards to manifesting what I want in my life by speaking it and making it so. I have to keep in mind that when God said that all things are possible through him, he didn’t mean some things and not others. He meant exactly what he said, ALL. I want to breathe life into much more positive ways of seeing things.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

What Do You Say On the Days You Don’t Know What To Say?

April 25, 2012 jcladyluv

I made a promise to myself that I would really focus on writing a blog post on a very regular basis. At first it was everyday but then I realized that I wanted my weekends to be about reading, or doing research, or marketing myself in some way. I still have work to do on the marketing part of that equation.

However, I won’t pretend like it is not a struggle to produce words that will be thought provoking and inspirational (hopefully you guys do consider them inspirational) on a consistent basis. Some days I really just don’t know what to say. Some days I go through the whole day and I don’t hear anything that inspires me or gives me an insight into what to write for you guys.

I tend to feel really inadequate as a writer on those days when I don’t know what to say. People have this misconception that writers know exactly the right things to say and sometimes we just don’t. Sometimes our minds are focused on whatever project we are working on and that is what consumes us. Today is one of those days for me.

I have thoughts of finishing my novel going through my head and where to go next with it. I have thoughts of the next novel project that can either be a Young Adult novel or an Adult fiction novel but I haven’t quite decided which way to take it just yet. I have a non-fiction book that I am trying to figure out what direction I want to go with it because it is a book that will be about my weight loss journey which is more about becoming a healthier and happier version of myself but it will also incorporate details of my childhood so it might actually border on something close to a memoir.

That is what has been on my mind all day and thus I couldn’t really come up with anything to say today. So I hope that you will understand my lack of inspiration in my blog post today but I did keep my promise I made to myself to continue posting on a daily basis. Maybe tomorrow I will know exactly what words to say.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Accidentally but on Purpose

April 19, 2012 jcladyluv

“There are no mistakes, no coincidences. All events are blessings given to us to learn from.”

~Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

I always hear the phrase, accidents happen, and for the longest time I believed it to be true. Things, little coincidences, just happen sometimes. You run into someone at the store that you haven’t seen in a long time seems like it would be a coincidence. You meeting someone that you may have more than a few things in common with is just a happy coincidence. You having some sort of accident happen to you or a family member, perhaps a car accident, is just a terrible accident that should’ve never happened, right? Wrong.

I used to believe that but somewhere along this journey of my life I have come to know that there is no such thing as coincidences and accidents. If you were to believe that things in your life happen by accident, or coincidence, then that is to say that you don’t believe that there is a plan that God has already laid out for you before you were even born into this world.

I meet different people all of the time but they don’t all stick, they don’t all get invited into my inner circle. But the ones that do, the ones that have been there no matter what, I know that I did not meet them by accident and there was no coincidence in those meetings. They were placed before me, by God, because he knew that I needed them in my life, and perhaps that they needed me too.

I have come to realize over the years that there is a reason for everything that happens in your life, and that they don’t just accidentally happen. I have been in several car accidents in my life, two in which I could have died in. I know that technically they are deemed car accidents but I in many ways see them as signs. Maybe they were to wake me up to the fact that, although for a large part of my life I thought I was just here by mistake (mostly because my mother told me that I was one) and that I had no good to share with the rest of the world, I am in fact here for a reason.

My best friend, Ms. L. and I met coincidentally, or so I always thought. We were in college and one night I went into the T.V. lounge and she was sitting there watching T.V. We struck up a conversation and began to hang out, initially meeting in the lounge almost every night, and then trading time in each other’s dorm rooms.

Two girls, from two different types of backgrounds, with two totally different levels of self esteem and confidence; one who was (or at least appeared to be) very sure of herself, and one who was still lost trying to figure out what version of herself was the right one to let the rest of the world see (that would be me).

We couldn’t have been more different, but oddly enough we couldn’t have been more alike either. Looking back now, on what I thought was a coincidence I see that we were always supposed to meet. I can’t even imagine my life without her in it and there are so many benefits of having her as my best friend and knowing she will always be in my corner no matter what, and I in hers.

I don’t believe that I met her by accident, nor any of the other people who I deem to be significant in my life. Much like Ms. L., they all drive me, to be better, to be more consistent. They make me want to be a better friend, a better person, and force me to see in myself what they see in me.

The thing is that you never know what the reason is for any one particular circumstance that you are going through. And you won’t know until you have seen your way through those circumstances. There is a reason, or rather, a purpose for every turning point (good or bad) in your life. And nothing ever happens by accident.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Proceed Without Caution

March 27, 2012 jcladyluv

“I don’t want to get to the end of my life and find that I have just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.”

~Diane Ackerman

So I am on a mission this week to re-ignite my fire and drive to become more productive in my writing career and I came across this article by Sage Cohen on ways to harness your fear and make that fear fuel your writing. There was a specific tip about focusing on the process instead of the results and it struck a chord with me. I am always focused on the end result of any and everything. I have always been a planner (at least in my adult post-motherhood days) I suppose I am overly cautious that way. I have this need to know how things are going to turn out primarily because I just can’t stand the not knowing.

The reality of any situation and of life really, is that there is absolutely no way of knowing how anything is going to turn out. There’s no predetermined outcome for things (well there is but only God knows what they are), it’s just a game of wait and see. I don’t exactly know when I became so obsessed with being cautious about everything because I never used to be that way, at least not with my writing. My writing was always the one thing where I just wrote and whatever came of it when I was done was what became of it. I wrote and believed that whatever I wanted to make happen with it would become a reality as long as I put in the work.

Over the years it seemed like I put in more and more work with my writing and nothing grand (the way I dreamt it up in my mind) was happening and I just started to doubt a little bit more and believed that caution was the way to go. The problem with that is that caution and creativity don’t really mix well together. I somehow forgot how to just enjoy the process and deal with the results of that process when they needed to be dealt with. Now of course results do indeed matter, but not at the expense of the sheer joy of working your way through the process.

Writing is an extremely rewarding, healing, and invigorating process. However, by constantly agonizing over what the results are going to be when I am done, I have somehow stopped enjoying the actual process of it. Maybe that means I need to take a step back and just fall in love with the process again, minus all of the cautionary measures. Old habits are hard to break but I am certainly going to try to get back to that place where I didn’t worry so much about what was on the other side of the bridge I was crossing, just so long as I made it there.

Caution can be good sometimes on your way to any destination in life but too much apprehension for anything can hinder you from enjoying the journey you are taking to get there. I think I just have to accept that I can’t know the end to every story, especially when I am not the author of it. What God has planned for me is what he has planned and the only part that I can control is the lessons I take away from the process. I think God has been trying to tell me to enjoy the journey and let him worry about where I end up. It’s about time that I start to listen!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Am I Letting the Devil Steal What is Rightfully Mine?

March 22, 2012March 22, 2012 jcladyluv

“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.”

-1 Peter 5:8

I had one of those deep thought provoking conversations today at the gym with the guy that’s training me. It always seems like we have those conversation exactly when my mind is filling itself with a bunch of doubt and lack of motivation. As the conversation went on and I shared more of my doubts (fears really) he asked me a very important question that stumped me for a minute but was one that I think all of us self-doubters need to ask ourselves. He asked me ‘Why are you letting Satan steal what’s yours?’

He went on to say that with all of the gifts that I possess and the purpose that I was placed here on this earth to do I am in line for so many great successes and abundant rewards, but every time I let that doubt settle in my mind I am allowing Satan to steal what’s mine, little by little. I had never thought about my many bouts of doubt that way. He’s right. I never realized that that was what I was doing. I never knew that I was giving the Devil that much authority over the journey of my life, and inevitably, over the destination that I arrive at.

I feel like I do follow the guidance of God on my path but it didn’t dawn on me that those obstacles and bumps on the road that I keep hitting were the Devil capitalizing on my own self-doubt. I don’t always doubt myself but on the days that I do I seem to be continuously leaving a crack in the door for Satan to work his way in there and steal my successes and my rewards, leaving me feeling more doubtful than ever. I get what the Devil is trying to do now and I don’t plan on leaving that door open anymore, not even a tiny crack.

I know what I’m worth and I know what my words are worth. I know that God has given me a purpose to fulfill and I can not continue to doubt what he has told me I should be doing. If he didn’t feel that I was up to the task, he wouldn’t have constructed the task solely for me. It is nothing but the Devil that has me doubting myself and I admit that he was been really busy with me lately. Well the Devil can continue to be busy, but just not with me, not anymore.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Is It Really Worth Taking the Leap?

March 21, 2012 jcladyluv

“Man cannot discover new oceans until he has courage to lose sight of the shore.”
~Unknown

So last week I sent off for some more of my books. I couldn’t get that many because, well, I just don’t have the cash flow right now to get a whole case load, but I got a few that I could sell to make some more ‘seed’ money. However, there are at least three books that I had planned on setting aside to send to three very important people (to me), Oprah Winfrey, Tyler Perry, and Zane.

Now I know what some people would think as they are reading this, ‘why send it to people who might never actually read it?’ It’s the same thing I was thinking at first but someone advised me that I never know whether they would read it or not, or whether someone on their staff would read it and like it enough to do things with it that I can’t do with it, not yet anyway. So I was anxiously waiting for my books and today they came (earlier then expected) and now I sit here rethinking whether I should send it to those three important people or not.

What if my book just sits in some pile of what they deem to be junk mail or ordinary fan mail and never gets looked at? What if they look at it and just toss it away in the trash somewhere? I mean who am I to them that they would find any interest in my book? What would they find so special about my book that they would pay attention to it? But then I am reminded of what I posted yesterday and what I am trying to put into a more consistent practice.

I have to step out on faith and believe in myself to know that not only am I good enough but my book is too, so why wouldn’t they want to pay attention to it. I said that this stepping out on faith thing was going to take me some time to actually do without questioning it. But then there are the questions that are going to pop into my head if I don’t send them off. What if they were to get my book, and read it, and love it? What if I would be passing up an opportunity that God is placing on my path? I guess I won’t find out exactly what would happen with my giant leap of faith if I never take that leap.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”