Tag: journey

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Am I Letting the Devil Steal What is Rightfully Mine?

March 22, 2012March 22, 2012 jcladyluv

“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.”

-1 Peter 5:8

I had one of those deep thought provoking conversations today at the gym with the guy that’s training me. It always seems like we have those conversation exactly when my mind is filling itself with a bunch of doubt and lack of motivation. As the conversation went on and I shared more of my doubts (fears really) he asked me a very important question that stumped me for a minute but was one that I think all of us self-doubters need to ask ourselves. He asked me ‘Why are you letting Satan steal what’s yours?’

He went on to say that with all of the gifts that I possess and the purpose that I was placed here on this earth to do I am in line for so many great successes and abundant rewards, but every time I let that doubt settle in my mind I am allowing Satan to steal what’s mine, little by little. I had never thought about my many bouts of doubt that way. He’s right. I never realized that that was what I was doing. I never knew that I was giving the Devil that much authority over the journey of my life, and inevitably, over the destination that I arrive at.

I feel like I do follow the guidance of God on my path but it didn’t dawn on me that those obstacles and bumps on the road that I keep hitting were the Devil capitalizing on my own self-doubt. I don’t always doubt myself but on the days that I do I seem to be continuously leaving a crack in the door for Satan to work his way in there and steal my successes and my rewards, leaving me feeling more doubtful than ever. I get what the Devil is trying to do now and I don’t plan on leaving that door open anymore, not even a tiny crack.

I know what I’m worth and I know what my words are worth. I know that God has given me a purpose to fulfill and I can not continue to doubt what he has told me I should be doing. If he didn’t feel that I was up to the task, he wouldn’t have constructed the task solely for me. It is nothing but the Devil that has me doubting myself and I admit that he was been really busy with me lately. Well the Devil can continue to be busy, but just not with me, not anymore.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Is It Really Worth Taking the Leap?

March 21, 2012 jcladyluv

“Man cannot discover new oceans until he has courage to lose sight of the shore.”
~Unknown

So last week I sent off for some more of my books. I couldn’t get that many because, well, I just don’t have the cash flow right now to get a whole case load, but I got a few that I could sell to make some more ‘seed’ money. However, there are at least three books that I had planned on setting aside to send to three very important people (to me), Oprah Winfrey, Tyler Perry, and Zane.

Now I know what some people would think as they are reading this, ‘why send it to people who might never actually read it?’ It’s the same thing I was thinking at first but someone advised me that I never know whether they would read it or not, or whether someone on their staff would read it and like it enough to do things with it that I can’t do with it, not yet anyway. So I was anxiously waiting for my books and today they came (earlier then expected) and now I sit here rethinking whether I should send it to those three important people or not.

What if my book just sits in some pile of what they deem to be junk mail or ordinary fan mail and never gets looked at? What if they look at it and just toss it away in the trash somewhere? I mean who am I to them that they would find any interest in my book? What would they find so special about my book that they would pay attention to it? But then I am reminded of what I posted yesterday and what I am trying to put into a more consistent practice.

I have to step out on faith and believe in myself to know that not only am I good enough but my book is too, so why wouldn’t they want to pay attention to it. I said that this stepping out on faith thing was going to take me some time to actually do without questioning it. But then there are the questions that are going to pop into my head if I don’t send them off. What if they were to get my book, and read it, and love it? What if I would be passing up an opportunity that God is placing on my path? I guess I won’t find out exactly what would happen with my giant leap of faith if I never take that leap.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Stepping Out on Faith and Sowing Seeds into Your Own Success

March 20, 2012March 20, 2012 jcladyluv

²² Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. ²³ After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, ²⁴ and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it. ²⁵ Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. ²⁶ When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. ²⁷ But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” ²⁸ “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” ²⁹ “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. ³⁰ But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” ³¹ Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” ³² And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. ³³ Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

–Matthew 14: 22-33

I have so much trouble with investing in myself, in particular, in the business that I am trying to build up. It seems every time that I actually take the initiative and have the faith to go ahead and make an investment towards getting my business firmly off the ground, I turn around and face the almost immediate needs of my daughter. Now of course children need things all the time and I always make sure she’s taken care of first. However, it seems like just when I’m at a point where she appears to have everything she needs for the time being and I feel I can actually put money into myself (my writing career) then a sudden need arises and I start to feel guilty that I’ve just put this money into me and not into her where it clearly needed to go.

Now Ms. L. lectured me about feeling guilty last night and reminded me that taking care of me first sometimes is the best way to take care of her all the time but it doesn’t always feel that way. When I was in the gym this morning the guys were having a specific conversation that seemed to be perfect for the guilt (or possible lack of faith) that I was feeling. Oddly enough, I almost did not go to the gym this morning because it was raining and I had planned on using the rain as my excuse to stay home. But God had other plans and made sure that I went anyway.

They were talking about the story from the bible of when Jesus walked on water and he walked out to the boat with his disciples in it and Peter told Jesus that if it was in fact him to call him over to him, and he went and Peter was walking to Jesus on water. He was doing fine until he felt a gust of wind and a burst of fear and lost sight of Jesus and his faith in him and he began to sink into the water, drowing. He cried out for Jesus to save him and Jesus reached out his hand and caught him, saying to him “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” If Peter had felt the wind and still had faith and kept his eyes on Jesus he would have been fine. If he had just kept his faith and had not doubted, not even for a second, he would not have felt the fear of drowning.

I feel that story not only applies to what I am dealing with, but also anyone out there who is struggling with their faith in what it is they are trying to do, what they may be called to do. If I were to stop taking my focus off of God and his plans for me, if I were to stop letting every little gusts of wind throw me off and make me afraid, I could only imagine how far I might be in my journey by now. I could imagine the voice of God in my head as he talks to me saying something to the effect of ‘If you would just have faith in what I have planned for you and follow through without getting afraid then you could be halfway there by now’. If he did say that, he would one hundred percent right.

I don’t always have a good track record of trusting in the unknown and the things that have no guarantees. It’s not that I don’t have faith in God and his plan for me, it’s that my nature to worry about all of the what ifs has a tendency to take me off the faith driven path (just a bit). It’s something that I struggle with and am constantly working on, not taking my eyes off of God and his plans for me, learning not to worry about all of the what ifs that pop into my head and knowing that God has never let me down yet and wouldn’t start now. I struggle with not having the comfort of knowing what’s waiting for me on the other side. The truth is that I have to realize that it’s not always for me to know, but for me to trust in the guidance of God and know that he would never steer me wrong.

Oftentimes we tend to get caught up in the worrying of it all that we forget to just let go and have some faith. Whatever is going to happen, whatever God is going to do, will be one anyway, whether it’s what we expected or not. We can’t be so riddled with doubt in ourselves and in his plans that we never even step out of the boat. We’ve got to have faith and know that God would not lead us on the water only to let us drown.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Sometimes the Mission Chooses You

March 19, 2012 jcladyluv

“You may think your actions are meaningless and that they won’t help, but that is no excuse, you must still act.”
~Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi

It’s hard for anyone to know as a small child what they will be when they grow up. Lots of children say they want to be a doctor or a teacher and then they change their minds when they find another thing they are more passionate about. Some children (like me) discover a passion and it never goes away. I’m not sure how many people aspired to be an activist when they were younger but it is amazing how the experiences in your childhood could fuel a mission that you never even knew was waiting for you.

When I was younger I was bullied and picked on a lot and not just by the kids at school. Mostly it was because of my weight but a lot of it was also because I didn’t necessarily fit in with the other kids at school. I was always a creative, artsy, type and most of the kids didn’t really understand me. I had hoped that when I had a child that the bullying would skip over her and that she would not have to endure that kind of hell. Unfortunately kids have not changed much since I was little, in fact, they’ve only gotten worse.

Seeing the bullying that goes on in today’s society makes what I went through (at least by the kids at school anyway) look like it was nothing. Kids now just really like to humiliate other kids that have even the slightest appearance of a weakness or a difference. They don’t stop at just hurtful and derogatory words, they are getting physical and their attitude is nonchalant about anyone else’s feelings but their own. The kids in my daughters class literally make me want to forget that I am a Christian because when I see how they act I want to shake them and ask them what their problem is. They are bullies and they are proud of it.

I started thinking about what I could do to change things if I was in the position that I had planned on being by now. If I were someone like Oprah or Lady GaGa, with their money, their prestige, and their power (in a sense) just imagine what I could do as far as taking a stand against the bullying that is relentless in schools today. But when I watched Oprah’s next chapter last night, which was a special on Lady GaGa and her Born This Way Foundation (fighting against bullying), I realized that someone without all of that money, prestige, and power, can still be effective right where they live.

I started to realize, with all of the bullying that is getting worse as the years go on, and the kids who are literally pushed so far that they sometimes take their own life, it doesn’t matter who is taking a stand as long as someone takes one. Just as I am sure that Lady GaGa and Oprah never set out to be an activist of any kind, I am also sure that the experiences that they went through in their youth were somehow, even then, preparing them for that exact journey.

I myself would have never thought that there would be anything good that could’ve possibly come from my childhood experiences. However, I am starting to feel something inside me that is pulling me in the direction of using those experiences to take a stand against bullying. I may not be able to reach people on a national level but I most certainly think that there has to be something that I can do, or get the right people to do, for the schools in my immediate area (starting with my daughter’s school).

I’m no Oprah or Lady GaGa, but I am me and I think that if I wait until I am in the position that they are in (because I do believe I will get there someday in the near future) that it may just be too late (especially for my own daughter). I think that I want to start looking into the ways that ordinary people like me can do something about this epidemic (because that’s what it’s becoming). Who knew that I would ever want to be an activist of any kind? I guess sometimes those childhood traumas you thought you would never get past can be used to help prevent someone else from going through the same kind of pain that you did.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Graduating to the Next Level

February 21, 2012 jcladyluv

“The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.”

~Emile Zola

This morning someone said to me as I was coming out of the gym, after complimenting me on my continuous efforts to get better in my physical fitness, that as long as I keep putting in the effort and hard work God was going to keep graduating me to the next level. There was something about the thought of being promoted by God to the next level of my life, or even the next level of my journey to maintain a healthier lifestyle that made me think deeply about what that meant in other areas of my life as well.

I will admit that when I started this conscious effort over two years ago to change the way I eat and my relationship with food, in addition to changing the way I think and feel about physical exercise, I became a little obsessed with it. I think that it might have come at the expense of my passion with writing every single moment I could get. I literally used to write everywhere I went, on napkins, on little bulletins or scraps of paper, I would write while I was eating, sometimes while I was lying down (supposedly trying to go to sleep). I put that much hard work and effort into it and while I had not yet saw the fruits of my labor at that time I didn’t really care, I was just consumed with the passion that I had to write.

When I wonder now why I have not yet gotten to where I feel I should be in my writing career yet, I now have to consider the fact that I simply stopped putting in the extreme hard work and efforts that I used to in order for me to graduate to that next level in my writing career. Now don’t misunderstand me, I have not stopped being passionate about my writing in any way (or I wouldn’t be able to maintain this blog). I simply seemed to have traded one obsession for another and my efforts were unbalanced. I don’t in any way regret dedicating the time and effort that I have to beginning my journey to a better and healthier, more physically fit me. I only regret not finding the balance I needed to graduate to the next level on both aspects.

When you’re younger you have these stages in life that you graduate from to move on to the next level. From elementary, middle and high school, to college and even graduate school. Typically when you’re going through the school stage of your life you get breaks in order to have time to gather yourself and prepare for what that stage entails. However, when you get into that stage where you have to really start living your life you don’t get those breaks.

There is no time to wait until you have thought about what it is going to take for you to get where you need to be, there’s just hard work and effort. Simply put if I don’t find a way to balance my efforts and my level of hard work in both areas that I am passionate about (health & fitness as well as writing) then I may not be able to simultaneously graduate to the next level on both fronts.

It’s hard to put all of my effort and time into just one thing because I am passionate about so many and in the case of my health, that is a passion that is necessary and I can’t afford to sacrifice. But writing is my first love, and like any kind of relationship, I have to put in the time, effort, pay close attention to it, continue to nurture it, and learn how to balance it with everything else that is important to me so that I can make it to the next level in my writing life. Until tomorrow…Are you putting in the time and effort so that you can graduate to the next stage of your life?

Jimmetta Carpenter

Freelance Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

The Questions We Ask Ourselves, and God (Part 4): How Do I Know I’m On the Right Path?

February 16, 2012 jcladyluv

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

–Jeremiah 29:11

It’s hard to know if the direction you are headed in is the right one. It is even harder to know if the path you are on is the one you are destined for when it seems you continue to make so many mistakes (some mistakes repeatedly). You want there to be some way to know if that dream that you are chasing, and have been for years now, is the right one for you. You want to make sure that when you get to the destination that you are seeking, that you won’t regret the choice you made in picking that particular location. The thing is that you already know, deep down inside of you, if you are on the right path or not.

For a long time I questioned whether being a writer was really my destiny. I still question it sometimes when things seem to be hopeless. But what lets me know that this is my purpose and that I am on the right path is the fact the no matter how many mistakes I have made, they have somehow still all led me right to where I was always meant to be. I am making a living (admittedly lower then what I would like it to be at the time) doing what I love to do more then anything in this world. I am doing what calms me and what heals me. I am doing what God put me on this earth to do, and I am doing it with all of the mistakes I have made included.

Along your journey sometimes you get diverted, redirected, and turned completely around. You go in different directions then you originally saw yourself going in. But are those diversions really unplanned or were they just not a part of your plan. We make plans but our plans always get rerouted when they are not the same as God’s plans. This doesn’t mean that your destiny isn’t what you thought it was. It just means that the mistakes you think you made along the way were God’s way of getting you back on the right track.

The path you take isn’t going to be all on the straight and narrow, nor will it be without experiencing some bumps (and bruises) along the way. That doesn’t mean it’s not the right path for you, just that the right path is not going to be an easy one. You have to remember that you are on the path that God has chosen for you, for whatever reason. Don’t try to reroute God’s path with your own.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

The Questions We Ask Ourselves, and God (Part 2): How Did I End Up Here?

February 14, 2012 jcladyluv

“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.”

~ Unknown

The way our lives unfold is due to a series of choices. We wonder to ourselves how we ended up in whatever rough spot we are in but it is often because of the choices that we have made over a period of time. Not just one choice, because one misguided choice would be simple to bounce back from. Sometimes it is a succession of choices made that lead us down the path that landed us at that point in our lives.

But you must then take into account where here really is. We often get so caught up with the struggle we are in the midst of that we aren’t focusing on realizing what it is we need to do to get out of that moment. I am extremely guilty of wallowing in whatever overwhelming mess my journey seems to be taking me through. Sometimes it takes me awhile to stop dwelling on the obstacle long enough so that I can see a way through it. I usually tend to waste a lot of time asking ‘How did I get here?’ instead of realizing that maybe, for that particular part of my journey, here is exactly where I needed to be.

Everything happens for a reason and as many times as you will hear that saying, it will probably always take a while for it to sink in. We give so much energy and time to what we can’t change, the obstacle that is sitting dead center in the middle of our journey. It’s time that is wasted. It is time that you can not get back. And all the while, as you stare at that obstacle wondering why you chose that path to begin with, the obstacle is still sitting there. You staring at it and questioning where it came from does not move it out of your way.

Wherever your ‘Here’ is, make sure you don’t waste too much time questioning the obstacle instead of moving through it. And don’t forget to take the lessons you’ve learned with you to your next stop in the road.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

The Questions We Ask Ourselves, and God (Part 1): Why Me?

February 13, 2012 jcladyluv

“I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders.”

~ Jewish Proverb

I have a ton of questions that I asks’ God on a regular basis. These are questions that I probably know the answer to already but for some reason I never listen to that voice inside of myself until I go to him. All he does is amplify that voice inside of me so that I actually start paying attention to it. Have any of you ever found yourself asking God question after question and then wonder when you’re going to get any of the answers you’re waiting for? I’m discovering that maybe the answers to our questions are already answered but we just aren’t paying close enough attention.

The most common question that I find myself asking is why me? There is so much that we go through in life and sometimes it starts to weigh you down. Naturally the first thing you want to know is why do you have to go through this. Why is this happening to you? It just seems sometimes that things get really hard really fast and they take a really long time to get better. It makes it even more difficult when the person next to you (figuratively) seems to have everything falling right into place just so neatly. But their story is not your story.

God puts us through things, not just for the sake of doing so, but to strengthen us. He gives us tests so that we have testimonies to share so that we can be an example for others. If you think about it you will realize that you already know the answer to why me. It is because without your experiences, without those trials that you have been put through, your life story wouldn’t be the same. You wouldn’t be the same person that you are without those moments that made you stronger. You might not be as appreciative of your successes if you didn’t have all of the obstacles thrown in your way just to get to them.

I’m not going to sit here and say that when I have a rough day, or a rough week, or even a rough month, that I won’t ask why me again. However, I think that I won’t be waiting as long for the answer because I know why me. I know that my story, my struggle, has a more profound meaning. I know that my experiences will eventually be able to help someone else cope with their struggle and that I will be proof that for those that have been broken down, it was only so that you be built back up.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

With Age Comes Wisdom

January 24, 2012 jcladyluv

I am not sure whether or not I have gotten smarter over the years but I do believe that as each year has passed by I have gotten wiser. At the gym that I have been a member of for almost three years now there are mostly older women and men that attend, mostly in the age range of about fifty and sixty. I listen to the stories they tell about the places they’ve been in life and the things they’ve seen. I hear them recount the trials and tribulations that they have endured and I take in the stories and experiences that they share. I listen and I would like to think that I am wiser for the information that I have taken in.

I have heard many quotes and sayings about wisdom but the one that I gravitate to the most is that wisdom comes from a willingness to be a student of life. It comes from a willingness to be a life long learner. Wise people learn that success does not come from a certain set of circumstances, but rather, from a certain set of attitudes. Listening to the older people I have been fortunate enough to be surrounded by has allowed me to change certain things about myself. I’ve learned a lot from them but mostly I learned that success does stem from your attitude and not necessarily your circumstances.

The older people I talk to daily have had some terrible circumstances and many tragic things that they have endured but they didn’t let their circumstances dictate how they journeyed on. Their attitudes were that of survival and moving past those circumstances and learning from them. So many times people (myself included) let their circumstances control the outcome of their lives instead of having the attitude of resilience. I think that I have made progress on adjusting my attitude and my reaction to certain circumstances and it is because I have gained more wisdom in the last few years from the older generation of people that I have come into contact with than I could ever possibly get only going to an institution for learning.

I think that I have become that student of life and have grown more than a willingness to be a life long learner. I learn, not just from school and the books that I read or the information I research, but I learn from living and from those who have lived life a long time before me. It is good to be intelligent but being wise is something totally different. If you just keep repeating the same mistakes and behaviors then you aren’t very wise because you haven’t learned from what you have already lived through. It is my hope that we all not only strive to become smarter but also wiser because with time being so precious, we have to be wise enough to not make the same mistake twice. Until tomorrow…Remember that fools learn nothing from wise men but wise men learn much from fools!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”