Tag: journey

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Joy In the Little Things

January 5, 2024 jcladyluv

When it comes to welcoming in a New Year, I am normally very excited with anticipation for whatever is going to come. This year, while I am happy that we are no longer in 2023 (also known as the worst year of my life) I am hesitant to let myself get excited. Not because I don’t wish for good things but just because last year left me feeling a little banged up and bruised and I’m questioning if good things are actually coming. Now that I’ve gotten those feelings out there and can let that go, I will say that I am still holding out lots of optimism for things to turn around and get better this year. I have plans and goals as always, but I did opt to do my goals quarterly this year instead of for the entire year.

My word for the year is Joy and that is what I would like to welcome more of this year. More moments in which I experience the Joys of life and appreciate the happiness that I get from the little things. I want to achieve successes and get some big wins this year but I don’t want to miss out on the smaller, more joyous moments that will undoubtedly come along in pursuit of those things.

Oftentimes we miss the delight that should be felt from little things like walking outside and feeling the sun on your face, or just being able to catch up with an old friend that you hadn’t spoken to in a while. These are precious moments and I hope not to take those for granted anymore because I think I didn’t treasure them enough before. This year I want to hold on to those smaller moments on my way to those bigger ones. After all, aren’t the big moments in our lives just made up of a bunch of smaller ones that happened along the way to make the big dreams possible?

I suppose that is how I also want to look at accomplishing my goals for the year as well. I have some big things that I would like to get accomplished. Let’s face it, I have always been a big goal type of person. What I am usually not as great at is breaking those goals down into the smaller tasks that make it possible for those bigger goals to come to fruition. I am going to try and be better this year about concentrating on the smaller tasks that will ultimately get me to those larger goals. Breaking down my goals into those smaller tasks will not only allow me to better achieve my overall goals but also allow me to enjoy the feeling of accomplishment along the way of the larger journey to the end goal (if that makes sense).

I guess all of that was to say, or to remind everyone as well as myself, not to forget to take pleasure and joy in the little moments in life. Don’t take the smaller victories and milestones for granted in pursuit of the bigger, more elaborate, goals. Every single moment we get on this earth is precious and just because they may not be big and grandiose does not mean that they shouldn’t be treasured and that we shouldn’t take stock in the Joy that they give us. Happy New Year everyone and may 2024 bring all of you small moments of immense Joy and Happiness.

Until next time… #BeMindful #BeOptimistic #BeHappy

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Jimmetta Carpenter

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Here’s to the Month of Planning and the Next Chapter

December 1, 2023 jcladyluv

I can’t believe it’s December already! November was a very hard month, and with the year I’ve had, that’s saying something. Along with the current situation I’ve been in now since the end of May and the fact that it doesn’t seem like it will be getting better before the year is out, I have had to recover from an emergency surgery I certainly didn’t expect to need. I suppose what the circumstances around my surgery taught me was that whatever is meant to happen will happen regardless and sometimes it could be for the better in the end.

Now I don’t mean that having to have emergency surgery is ever a good thing. Of course not. But I was going to just ignore the abdominal pain that I was in. I was going to tough it out and keep pushing forward to try and deal with the life that was crumbling in around me the best I can despite that pain that had decided to pop up out of nowhere. If it weren’t for my daughter insisting that I go to the hospital I would have kept pushing and who knows what would have happened. The doctor certainly seemed to be convinced that had I waited even one more day there could have been dire consequences, and apparently, I had had a hernia for quite some time and just never knew it. The problem was there, just lying dormant, and only just then came to the surface.

I’ve never been very good at taking things easy and sitting down and just resting. I mean even on days that I designate as self-care days I still find myself planning things out that are writing (thus work) related and just doing things to keep busy despite the resting I’m supposed to be doing. The surgery (and perhaps in some way, the Universe) made me have to rest and have to simply be still. It drove me crazy to not be able to do the things that I was used to doing. To not be able to do things for myself and have to rely on other people (mainly my daughter) for help with basic things was frustrating to say the least. The first few weeks I couldn’t even drive which, if you know anything about me, is my peace and my escape when things feel crazy.

I can honestly look back now and say it was probably what I needed. To just have to sit, to rest, to think through things without multi-tasking, to not always be busy with something. To really, truly, just be STILL. I’ve heard that sometimes when you’re not listening to your body and what it’s telling you that the universe will find a way to make you listen. I can confirm, this is true. And guess what. While I was being still, well things didn’t necessarily get any better, situation wise, but they didn’t get any worse either.

Having said all of that, December is typically a planning month for me. It’s where I usually get excited about planning the coming year. It’s when I let my optimism take over and get really hopeful for the good things I think are to come. While my situation this past year has put a slight damper on that optimism, I am still who I am. Meaning I’m still going to make plans and I’m still going to strive for a better year to come.

I can’t say I’m filled with as much hope as I normally would be during this time of year, but I do have a lot of Faith that fills in where hope leaves off and I’m going to run with that Faith. I have Faith that since God hasn’t left my side yet, He’s definitely not going to leave me now. I have Faith that all that I lost this past year will be replaced and replenished with better and more abundant things than I could have even imagined for myself.

A childhood friend of mine told me that when I come out on the other side of this, I’m going to have one hell of a testimony and perhaps that is the reason for all of this happening. I have Faith that my story is only going to get better from here. That it will somehow be an inspiration for others to know that no matter what storms you go through in life, there will be a rainbow on the other side of that storm. This is just another chapter and I’m going to look forward to seeing what the next chapter holds for me. Here’s to next year, and the next chapter, being amazing for us all!

Until next time… #BeOptimistic #BeHopeful #BeMindful

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Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

Hello November! Time to Play Catch Up

November 1, 2023 jcladyluv

I know I don’t usually write a blog post on a Wednesday, but I haven’t written to you guys in a while, and I figured that today was as good a time as any to catch you up on things in my little corner of the world. I’m still without a home and as much as I would like to be optimistic and say things are looking up, I don’t feel that in this moment of my writing this. I haven’t given up hope or anything, it’s just that the situation is wearing me down in a way I would care not to admit. But here is where I admit the scary things that I don’t like to say out loud to my closest friends (and yes, I understand the irony of me not saying things out loud to people I know yet screaming it into the void that is the Internet lol).

I’m always seen as the positive one and while most days that is me and I do like to keep a positive tone, that just can’t be me every day. I also forget to mention that a little over two weeks ago I had emergency surgery. Yep, as if I didn’t have enough to deal with, I now have to deal with recovering from surgery. I suppose it’s the Universe’s way of sitting me down and giving me a way to rest my body, my spirit, and my soul but it sure picked a very odd time to sit me down in a time in which I need to be on the go to figure out next steps.

I don’t know, perhaps it was its way of really making me be still and letting God do His work in whatever way that shaped up to be. I have caught up on an enormous amount of rest, so I suppose there’s that. I feel more rested now than I have in years. The brain fog from the surgery doesn’t really help with my creativity but I am starting to feel that slowly come back as well (hence me being able to write up this post). I guess I can say that I am hanging in there but it’s by a very thin thread and I’m not sure how much longer I can hold on. I’m doing my best and that’s all I can do right now.Anywho, it’s November now and that means it is NaNoWriMo season in which millions of writers are just disillusioned enough to think they can write an entire novel in a month (just kidding about the disillusionment, it’s totally doable lol) so they sign up for 30 days of writing nearly 2,000 words a day until the task is done.

Normally I would be (officially) participating in this event but as you might guess, this year has kicked my behind and I just don’t have it in me to do it this year. Well at least not officially. That’s to say I can’t help myself and am deciding to be a rebel of sorts and unofficially do NaNo and will work on finally finishing up the revisions on my novel that was technically supposed to be published by now (more on that in another post).

So that’s what my November is going to look like. An unofficial NaNo revision project and finishing up my recovery from surgery. I know I normally set far more monthly goals for myself, but I think those two are good enough this month. I hope you all are well and if you are participating in NaNo let me know. I hope to write again a lot sooner.

Until next time… #BeAuthentic #BeEmpowered #BeFearless

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Jimmetta Carpenter

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Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

Let the Leaves Fall Away While the Roots Sustain You

September 4, 2023 jcladyluv

Losing a relationship with someone, especially a close friendship can be hard. If you’re anything like me, someone who believes in working hard at the close connections you have and that those bonds take work, then it’s extremely hard. However, sometimes instead of trying so hard to hold onto those particular relationships, we have to see them for what they are. Some people were meant to be in your life for a moment in time. Some are meant to be there for a season, sometimes many seasons of your life. Then there are those that are like the roots, and they are there for a lifetime.

You don’t get many of those root people and what you may not see is that the time you spend trying to hold onto the person that was meant to only be seasonal, you could be damaging the relationship you have with the roots. I have been blessed to have a lot of really amazing people enter my life and the thing about me is that I am a person who has a hard time truly letting people in so when I do, I tend to hold on pretty tightly. I don’t call too many people friend, not lightly, so when I use that word, it means I feel a deep connection with you. Which is why it is hard when that friend that I now see was just a seasonal friend, essentially decides that I’m no longer good enough to be their friend.

Now hear me when I say I know that I am a good enough person to be anyone’s friend and that just because I am going through a very hard time right now does not make me less than worthy. It doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt when someone tries to make you feel exactly that way because suddenly your life got too hard for them. Their loss, not mine. It just made me see even more in depth who my real friends are and who they are not. Real friends help you see the light that you are.

On those dark days they help you get to the other side of that dark tunnel and allow you to see there are people who care about you and not what you have (or in my case what I don’t have). Real friends are there to lift you up emotionally when you need it and know when to take a step back when you need that too. Real, true friends help you see things outside of your comfort zone and they see what sometimes others are too busy or just too selfish to see. They see the potential in you that oftentimes your own family doesn’t even see.

I have been fortunate enough to have some real friends by my side through this dark time and I am so happy that they have been there for me. That they haven’t abandoned me. That they, on the days when it’s really hard to, they help me see the good in myself, and even point out the good that’s happened around me in spite of all of the bad. They have helped keep me focused on the things I can accomplish instead of dwelling on what I can’t get done. They have reminded me that I am not my situation. I am much more than that. I’m very thankful for them. I hope everyone has real friends like them. Having a tribe supporting you can sometimes make a world of difference in how you choose to respond to the things that are happening around you.

Let the leaves (false friends) fall away from you and accept that their time in your life is now up. Take stock of those roots that decided to plant themselves around you and gave you the nourishment that you needed to grow and flourish. We can’t do everything alone in this life and in the worst times that you will face, it will be those roots that will keep you grounded and push you forward when you feel you can’t move on your own.

Until next time… #BeMindful #BeResilient #BeEncouraged

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Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

When Expectation is Hit With Reality

August 28, 2023 jcladyluv

“Stop waiting for life to meet your expectations and start adjusting your expectations to meet life.”

~unknown

I’ve had two not so subtle reminders in the past few days that I shouldn’t be so hard on myself about not accomplishing the things that I had initially planned to get done this year. First, I had a very interesting conversation with one of my closest friends last week (you know who you are lol) about why my expectations don’t match up with my reality. A part of the reason I’ve been so frustrated with myself lately, well aside from everything I’m stressed about in my current situation, is because I’m not meeting my own expectations. Now these are expectations that I have placed on myself mind you, not expectations from others. This wonderful friend ever so slightly (okay not slightly, very bluntly) pointed out that my whole life was upended three months ago, and I wasn’t in the greatest position even before that (clearly) so why would I expect so many of the things on my great giant to-do list of life to have been possible. They impressed upon me that I need to live in the present and the reality of what is and not be so hung up on what “should” be when there is no one saying it should be this way or that way but me.

Then yesterday I watched a video by Sarra Cannon (Heart Breathings on YouTube) about how we can’t get hung up on where we aren’t in our lives because then we miss the moment that we are in. Basically, that living in the expectation of who we should be, of where we should be, doesn’t do anything but leave us stuck and spinning our wheels. It makes us long for a version of ourselves that simply doesn’t exist and, in all honesty, may have never existed anywhere but in our own imaginations. What both her and my friend were saying was to stop playing that comparison game, with others and with the version of myself that I wished I was, because it only leads to a feeling of inadequacy and a feeling that I’m not doing enough. That I’m just not enough.

It is true that I have extremely high expectations of myself. I’m not sure if that’s mostly just because I have a lot I want to do before my time is up on this earth, or if it has more to do with always being made to feel like no one expected very much out of me at all. Whatever the reason, I have always had massively long lists of things to get accomplished and milestones that I wanted to hit by certain points in my life. I have always had a certain legacy that I wanted to be remembered for and that legacy required, at least in my mind anyway, having accomplished a lot. I wanted to make sure that I put out enough good in this world to make a difference.

As I was doing my devotional this morning it also reminded me that God’s ultimate plan for my life, for our lives, goes beyond the vision that he has given us. That He positions us within this world as a singular point of light, a beacon if you will. We are all here to be a light in this world and to be that beacon for others, perhaps other people who are also going through dark times. It makes sense that in order to be someone else’s light source in the dark, that we must first find our own way through that same darkness. In essence, it doesn’t matter just how much or how little we do. What matters most are the lives we are able to touch. It’s something that I will definitely remember in those moments when I think that I’m not doing enough, or that I’m not putting enough good out into the world. I have to learn that in my journey, what I expect and what is realistic are not always one in the same, and that’s okay. I hope that my journey through this dark time can be that beacon for someone else.

Until next time… #BeMindful #BePresent #BeGrateful

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Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

When Your Pride Gets Too Heavy to Carry

August 14, 2023 jcladyluv

Pride is a funny thing. They tell you to take pride in yourself for so many things but then when you do have pride people tell you the opposite. They say don’t be so prideful that you end up worse off than if you had just swallowed your pride to begin with. If there is anything that this situation I have been going through since the end of May has taught me is that pride really does have to go out the window sometimes because, what’s that other saying I love so much? Oh yeah, closed mouths don’t get fed.

I mean there is truth to that. No one knows you’re struggling or in need if you don’t say anything. Even in the midst of your struggle, people can be misled to think that things are improving and that you may not need as much help anymore if you stay quiet because you’re too scared or worse, too proud to say you still need the help. I have had to ask people for help that I swore I would never ask, because I didn’t want them to know how bad things were and I didn’t want them to think less of me because I needed the help in the first place.

It may sound silly, but I think that’s the hardest thing about all of this for me. I have to swallow my pride and break down and ask for help and it kills me. It makes me feel inferior and less than. It makes me feel worthless and like I’m useless to everyone around me, especially my daughter. Sure, the logical part of me knows that nothing could be further from the truth, but this is a very emotional time for me right now and logic doesn’t always win out. Needless to say, last week was extremely tough for me and I smiled and tried to act like I was okay because I guess I just wanted to pretend that I actually was okay.

But I am not okay. I miss having a home. I miss having my own space. I miss being able to cook my own meals. I miss my desk, even the crappy bed I had that was falling apart. I miss having a place to call home. I miss the peace that I had within my home. I miss my library of books that I probably will never get back because I am getting ready to lose everything that I was able to salvage and put in storage because I can’t keep the storage unit up AND still keep the room my daughter and I have been staying in. I miss the routine that both my daughter and I had, in our own respective spaces in the home that I had for nearly 23 years. I miss the security that having a place of your own provides. I just miss what was.

I’m trying to stay hopeful that I can not only get it all back somehow but gain back more than what I lost but it’s getting harder to hold onto that hope. This is the place that I come to get everything I’m feeling out because holding onto things is how we can make the problems worse. I hope I can get back to a place where I am okay again but today is not that day. Thank you for letting me express myself.

Until next time… #BeMindful #BePatient #BeinFaith

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Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

Never Be Afraid to Take Up Space

July 17, 2023 jcladyluv

I started thinking last night about how tired I have been feeling. Not just in the physical sense of the word but also mentally and emotionally. I mean in terms of how long I’ve been fighting to make all the things in my life, all the dreams I’ve had for my life, all of the passion I feel towards writing happen and still nothing. Now I’m not saying I haven’t accomplished anything and I certainly never had any expectations of being some overnight success but I will say that I had expected to meet some sustainable level of contentment by the time I was in my 40’s. My level of success doesn’t necessarily equate to fame and fortune (not that those two things wouldn’t also be nice), just simply being able to keep myself afloat and perhaps be able to be in a position to help others. Neither of which have happened clearly as I am currently living out of a hotel room, and even that is in jeopardy from day to day. Some days I just want to give up the fight.

On those days that I just want to throw in the towel and give up I always seem to come across something that motivates me to keep on going. Be it a verse in the bible or an inspirational talk from someone I admire, or sometimes both, something always sparks that drive to just keep hanging in there and go forward, don’t look back. I watched a short speech from actress Sheryl Lee Ralph last night (here’s the link in case you wish to be inspired as well) and she talked about all of the no’s she’s heard in her career and the power that believing in yourself holds. She pondered on what would have happened if she had stopped and given up with every no she heard or every door that closed in her face. She certainly wouldn’t have been in the position to have won her first ever Emmy in her 60’s and become the second African American woman to become an EGOT (Whoopi Goldberg being the first).

She talked about how powerful just the simple act of believing in herself truly was. She had made a promise a long time ago in her career, after hearing a very loud and absurd no from a producer, to always give herself permission to take up space in whatever room she entered, whatever creative field she wanted to dip her toe in. She would not give up on herself no matter what. The truth is if you don’t believe in you then why would anyone else. It’s not that I have never believed in myself. Quite frankly most of the time I think that I am the only person that believes in me but there are days where even that is in question, and I start to wonder do I belong in this field. Are the decks stacked against me for a reason? The doors keep closing, so maybe I just should stop knocking.

Then I start to shift and think maybe the real problem is that I haven’t given myself permission to take up the space that I need to take up. I’ve been trying to fit in whatever space someone would allow me to be in and is that what truly believing in yourself looks like? Maybe I shouldn’t be knocking on the doors, but rather knocking them down (metaphorically of course lol) instead? Maybe my problem to begin with was aiming to just be content instead of seeking the abundant life that God has told me I’m entitled to (John 10:10). Rather than setting the bar too high perhaps I haven’t been setting the bar high enough. There’s no such thing as believing in yourself too much or having too much faith. After all, faith can make broken wings fly and soar, and enable you to take up all of the space in the world that you need. I’m ready to take up some space, are you?

Until next time… #BeConfident #BeBold #BeFearless

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Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

From the Ashes One Must Rise

July 10, 2023 jcladyluv

I find it a humorous kind of irony that being someone who is extremely resistant to change, I find myself in a current state of constant change. As someone who strives to create sustainable hard core routines (didn’t say I succeeded at doing this lol), I now find myself in a state of survival mode daily. While there is a sense of sameness developing, it is still not a guarantee that things will actually play out the way that I plan them to on any given day.

Someone said to me that I will be like the phoenix and rise from the ashes, to which I initially felt uncertain of their assured certainty. Then I saw the image above saying that essentially, only from the ashes of who we once were can we rise up to truly become who we were meant to be. Pretty poetic right? I thought so. I don’t know how much of a Phoenix I would be, but I like the thought of meeting the challenges I face head on and not crumbling into the pile of ash my life has seemingly become.

A phoenix symbolizes strength, transformation, and renewal and I definitely think that I have discovered my true strength going through this ordeal. I also think that it could be a good opportunity to transform, not just my mindset, but perhaps even my surroundings, as I am no longer tethered to any one set place. Now the renewal part is the aspect that I haven’t gotten to yet but I look forward to that day when I can feel renewed and settled again.

It’s true that we can’t always pick the battles that we face but we can choose how we recover from them. We will be worn and battered, possibly even bruised and broken, but if w crumble into the pile of ash, then what does any of it mean. We fight battles to become victorious and there is no victory in not getting back up, in not rising. Sure, we will struggle to stand back up again, and yeah, we will likely have scars to show for it, but what’s the alternative. So whenever you feel the urge to lay down and quit, think about the phoenix that you are, deep down on the inside, and rise! You are becoming exactly who you were meant to be.

Until next time… #BeEmpowered #BeStrong #BeVictorious

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Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine