Month: February 2012

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The Questions We Ask Ourselves, and God (Part 4): How Do I Know I’m On the Right Path?

February 16, 2012 jcladyluv

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

–Jeremiah 29:11

It’s hard to know if the direction you are headed in is the right one. It is even harder to know if the path you are on is the one you are destined for when it seems you continue to make so many mistakes (some mistakes repeatedly). You want there to be some way to know if that dream that you are chasing, and have been for years now, is the right one for you. You want to make sure that when you get to the destination that you are seeking, that you won’t regret the choice you made in picking that particular location. The thing is that you already know, deep down inside of you, if you are on the right path or not.

For a long time I questioned whether being a writer was really my destiny. I still question it sometimes when things seem to be hopeless. But what lets me know that this is my purpose and that I am on the right path is the fact the no matter how many mistakes I have made, they have somehow still all led me right to where I was always meant to be. I am making a living (admittedly lower then what I would like it to be at the time) doing what I love to do more then anything in this world. I am doing what calms me and what heals me. I am doing what God put me on this earth to do, and I am doing it with all of the mistakes I have made included.

Along your journey sometimes you get diverted, redirected, and turned completely around. You go in different directions then you originally saw yourself going in. But are those diversions really unplanned or were they just not a part of your plan. We make plans but our plans always get rerouted when they are not the same as God’s plans. This doesn’t mean that your destiny isn’t what you thought it was. It just means that the mistakes you think you made along the way were God’s way of getting you back on the right track.

The path you take isn’t going to be all on the straight and narrow, nor will it be without experiencing some bumps (and bruises) along the way. That doesn’t mean it’s not the right path for you, just that the right path is not going to be an easy one. You have to remember that you are on the path that God has chosen for you, for whatever reason. Don’t try to reroute God’s path with your own.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

The Questions We Ask Ourselves, and God (Part 3): When Are Things Going To Change?

February 15, 2012 jcladyluv

“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.”

~Mary Engelbreit

When you get stuck in a period of your life where nothing seems to be going the way that you think it should be you will start to question when things are going to change for you? The answer to that is simple but we tend to make it much more complicated then it has to be. Things will change when you make the decision to change them.

I know how it feels to be in that place where everything is going wrong. You think that things are going so bad that they can never get better. You start to wonder what you did to bring this kind of ‘bad luck’ your way. You even go over in your head things you could have done in a different way so that maybe things wouldn’t feel so impossible. You start to contemplate whether you will come out of that bad place long enough to make your dreams a reality. It’s a place that nobody likes to be in. But you don’t have to stay there.

Your attitude towards whatever your circumstances are determines the outcome of those circumstances. If you stay insistent that nothing is going to get better, that nothing is going to change, then why would you be surprised when they don’t. You attract what it is that you want so if you want to gain control of that situation and you want things to turn around then you have to change your mindset. Nothing is going to change if you don’t believe that it can.

Whatever your dreams are, it is never too late for them to come true. You may be down but you most certainly are not out. If you know that there are some things in your life that you need to change, all you need to do is take that step to change it. When you take that step that is when things are going to start to change for you. You just have to believe that they can, in fact, change.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

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http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

The Questions We Ask Ourselves, and God (Part 2): How Did I End Up Here?

February 14, 2012 jcladyluv

“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.”

~ Unknown

The way our lives unfold is due to a series of choices. We wonder to ourselves how we ended up in whatever rough spot we are in but it is often because of the choices that we have made over a period of time. Not just one choice, because one misguided choice would be simple to bounce back from. Sometimes it is a succession of choices made that lead us down the path that landed us at that point in our lives.

But you must then take into account where here really is. We often get so caught up with the struggle we are in the midst of that we aren’t focusing on realizing what it is we need to do to get out of that moment. I am extremely guilty of wallowing in whatever overwhelming mess my journey seems to be taking me through. Sometimes it takes me awhile to stop dwelling on the obstacle long enough so that I can see a way through it. I usually tend to waste a lot of time asking ‘How did I get here?’ instead of realizing that maybe, for that particular part of my journey, here is exactly where I needed to be.

Everything happens for a reason and as many times as you will hear that saying, it will probably always take a while for it to sink in. We give so much energy and time to what we can’t change, the obstacle that is sitting dead center in the middle of our journey. It’s time that is wasted. It is time that you can not get back. And all the while, as you stare at that obstacle wondering why you chose that path to begin with, the obstacle is still sitting there. You staring at it and questioning where it came from does not move it out of your way.

Wherever your ‘Here’ is, make sure you don’t waste too much time questioning the obstacle instead of moving through it. And don’t forget to take the lessons you’ve learned with you to your next stop in the road.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

The Questions We Ask Ourselves, and God (Part 1): Why Me?

February 13, 2012 jcladyluv

“I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders.”

~ Jewish Proverb

I have a ton of questions that I asks’ God on a regular basis. These are questions that I probably know the answer to already but for some reason I never listen to that voice inside of myself until I go to him. All he does is amplify that voice inside of me so that I actually start paying attention to it. Have any of you ever found yourself asking God question after question and then wonder when you’re going to get any of the answers you’re waiting for? I’m discovering that maybe the answers to our questions are already answered but we just aren’t paying close enough attention.

The most common question that I find myself asking is why me? There is so much that we go through in life and sometimes it starts to weigh you down. Naturally the first thing you want to know is why do you have to go through this. Why is this happening to you? It just seems sometimes that things get really hard really fast and they take a really long time to get better. It makes it even more difficult when the person next to you (figuratively) seems to have everything falling right into place just so neatly. But their story is not your story.

God puts us through things, not just for the sake of doing so, but to strengthen us. He gives us tests so that we have testimonies to share so that we can be an example for others. If you think about it you will realize that you already know the answer to why me. It is because without your experiences, without those trials that you have been put through, your life story wouldn’t be the same. You wouldn’t be the same person that you are without those moments that made you stronger. You might not be as appreciative of your successes if you didn’t have all of the obstacles thrown in your way just to get to them.

I’m not going to sit here and say that when I have a rough day, or a rough week, or even a rough month, that I won’t ask why me again. However, I think that I won’t be waiting as long for the answer because I know why me. I know that my story, my struggle, has a more profound meaning. I know that my experiences will eventually be able to help someone else cope with their struggle and that I will be proof that for those that have been broken down, it was only so that you be built back up.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Rest In Peace Whitney Houston

February 11, 2012 jcladyluv

I didn’t really have anything prepared for today but then I heard the terrible news that singer Whitney Houston had died. I was shocked as most all of you were and I am deeply saddened because the world lost a wonderfully talented woman whose music touched so many lives.

I am sitting here listening to MSNBC and hearing them question everyone as to how they think she will be remembered because regardless of her beautiful voice, she was focused on and highlighted in the media for her multiple dramas and drug use. I can only hope that in this time of loss that people will not dwell on her flaws and praise her many successes and her wonderful talents.

I know how I will remember her. I will remember how melodic and angelic her voice sounded and how there will more than likely never be another voice like that one. I remember wanting to get my voice to sound just like hers because no other voice was that beautiful. I will remember the times that I felt heartbroken and I felt as if nothing but Whitney Houston’s songs could get me through that time. I will remember that Whitney Houston was not perfect, but that just like anyone else who has fallen down onto hard times, she got back up and she kept on going.

I will pray for her family and her friends and I hope that Whitney Houston can now Rest In Peace.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

The Company You Keep Could Be Helping You Sabotage Yourself

February 10, 2012 jcladyluv

Number 5 on my list yesterday was ‘Keeping people around you that are not going to give you a swift kick in the ass’ and a part of that is not surrounding yourself with people who constantly try to do everything they can to bring negativity to you. It is always good when you can separate yourself from those that do not support your goals and that do not believe in you. But how do you separate yourself when the people or person who is against you is your family, not just family members, but your own mother.

My mother has never been supportive of my dream of being a writer and she has been very verbal about the fact that she thinks that my pursuing that dream is a huge waste of time. She made her point again today that I am wasting my time with this writing ‘stuff’ as she referred to it.

Years ago that would have bothered me. That would have eaten away at me and seeped inside of my soul with her words eventually starting to be projected in my own voice. That would have sent me into months and months of questioning my dreams and whether I could really make them happen. I would spend months thinking to myself that if my own mother doesn’t believe in me, then who else will.

Like I said, that would have been me years ago. That would have been a form of me self-sabotaging myself by way of my mother’s negativity. Now I know that I can not completely cut my mother off (well I could but she did give birth to me so that would be wrong) but I have learned to distance myself from her. More importantly, when she starts to talk about how my goals and dreams don’t matter and that their not worth the time and effort I am putting into them, I have to learn how to cut her off (respectfully of course) and tell her that I can’t be around the negativity.

I know that you can’t really tune out or walk away from every negative vibe that tries to come within your orbit, but you can’t make your dream a reality if you don’t at least try. Negative energy just breeds more negative energy so if you allow it into your inner circle then you also allow it to influence your spirit. So if you are keeping people around you that are only bringing negative energy to you then it is time to distance yourself from them. Stop sabotaging yourself with the company you are keeping. Until tomorrow…Remember that your kin is not always your kind!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

10 Things We Sometimes Do to Sabotage Ourselves

February 9, 2012 jcladyluv

I was thinking of all the ways and things people do to sabotage themselves. Largely, I was thinking of all of the things that I am doing that are making me sabotage myself. Unknowingly, this week has turned out to be one of looking inward at myself and reflecting on the things that I want and most importantly what I need to change within me to get those things that I am striving for. I had no idea that was what this week would be for me but I am tired of feeling as if I am watching the life I want pass me by. So I made a list of ten things that people do to hold themselves back from success.

Procrastination
Making Excuses
Pointing the finger at everyone else but yourself
Doing a whole lot of planning without a lot of doing.
Keeping people around you that are not going to give you a swift kick in the ass
Not going after every possible opportunity that you can get your hands on
Not taking care of yourself (both mental and physical health) before you take care of others
Open their minds to change and do something new
Say yes to everyone and continue to say no to yourself
Over think everything instead of just doing

Okay so that’s my list of which I am probably guilty of more than half of those things on that list. Tomorrow I will go a little further into self-sabotage and what we can do to stop sabotaging our own destiny.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Conquering Fear Doesn’t Happen Overnight

February 8, 2012 jcladyluv

It is typical for someone to give good advice to others without ever really taking that same advice themselves. I’ve written a lot about not letting fear, whether it is fear of failure or fear of success, stop you from going after your dreams. I stand by that advice but sometimes I just can’t seem to take it myself. It isn’t that I don’t want to let the fear go, it just seems that I can’t. I get moments where I feel fearless and ready to conquer the world. Then something happens to set me back and I get afraid. I find myself afraid that I won’t succeed, then afraid that I will.

I spent a lot of time last night assessing exactly what it is that I seem to be doing wrong, or rather what is wrong with me. Why it is that I keep missing opportunities simply by not going after them in the first place. I look at my best friend Ms. L and watch her hustle her ass off to climb further and further up that ladder. She’s doing what she loves to do and she is going into it all fearlessly. Now Ms. L and I are both in pursuit of the same thing, success doing what it is we love to do. We have different avenues of the media industry that we want to conquer but we are both passionate about creativity and writing and making a living at it. I just can’t seem to mirror that same fierceness she has to hustle.

I sat in my bed last night trying to figure out why. Was it that I didn’t want it as bad anymore? Is it that I just feel that I am not cut out to be my own businesswoman after all? Can it just be that I am not hungry enough for it? No, none of those things apply to me. Then I realized that I’m still afraid. I thought it had gone away. I thought I had talked myself through the phase of being too afraid but somewhere along the way it crept back in. I’m afraid of succeeding but mostly I’m afraid of failing at everything I’ve ever dreamed of.

What I also realized in my moment of self analysis last night was that if I don’t try and give it my all then my fear will come true anyway. I fail without even trying to succeed. Not trying will be failing. I wish I could say that the fear is gone now. I wish that I could say that once it passes this time that it will never creep back in. But I can say that I know that fear is not going to help me get what I want and what I’m destined to have; success. For anyone out there experiencing a serious case of fear, you are not alone. We will overcome it and climb our way up that ladder. It just might take us a little bit longer than others. Until tomorrow…Remember that Fear stands for False Evidence Appearing Real.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Seeing the Blessing in the Responsibilities that God Gives Us

February 7, 2012 jcladyluv

I spent a lot of time when I was little planning out my life and what I was going to do and be. I even had time frames for certain things such as when I was going to become a New York Times staff writer and when I was going to get married and have children. But I wasn’t always so optimistic about how my life would turn out.

I grew up in an abusive home with a mother who was physically, mentally, and emotionally abusive and there were honestly days when I just didn’t want to wake up the next morning. I will even admit that I tried to make it so I wouldn’t wake up multiple times and would get angry with God when it didn’t work. I wondered why I was still here to go through the nightmare that I had to endure on a daily basis.

Now that I am at the stage I am at in my life, which admittedly is not where I had hoped to be at this age, I can see exactly why it never worked. God gave me a responsibility and a purpose. The purpose was to influence and empower people with my words and the responsibility was my beautiful and wonderfully intelligent daughter who I just know is here to change the world in big ways that I can’t even begin to see yet.

I was watching an episode of Tyler Perry’s House of Payne last week and it was something said that really struck a chord with me. The father was telling his son (who after being shot and almost killed wished that he had just died) that God sometimes gives us responsibilities just to keep you moving. He gives you those responsibilities along with the strength you need to achieve, and the provisions you need to conquer your problems. But you have to keep moving and keep fighting.

All of these responsibilities that I am stressing and worrying over and sometimes falling apart about were given to me specifically because God clearly saw something in me and believed that I could handle them. Now, looking at things from that perspective, I feel even more special because God must see more strength in me then I can see in myself. If God is going to put faith in me like that then how can I keep questioning him and not put faith in him and trust in his plan and his path that he has laid out for me.

I am writing this today because I felt compelled to. I felt as if there might be someone else out there (besides me) who continues to have questions about why certain burdens were bestowed upon them. It is all for a reason and there is a blessing in every burden, even if you don’t see it yet. I hope that anyone out there going through a rough time right now will trust in God and his reasoning. Until tomorrow…Keep moving forward and keep fighting through it.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”