Tag: dreams

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So You Think You’re Special

June 12, 2012June 12, 2012 jcladyluv

There was a recent uproar when a high school English teacher, David McCullough Jr., gave a graduation commencement speech at Wellesley High School in Massachusetts telling the graduating seniors that they were not special. There have been many negative comments stating that a commencement speech is supposed to be uplifting and motivating for those high school seniors, sending them off into the world full of hope and optimism. I can see where they are coming from because when I was in high school I might have felt a little let down by being told that I wasn’t special. But the fact is that it’s the truth.

Mr. McCullough is only doing what a lot of us parents won’t dare to do for their child as they go off into the world ready to pursue their dreams. Prepare them for the cold hard truth that there are thousands of other people out there just like them. There are thousands of people that have just graduated high school, some with honors. There are thousands of people that have been accepted into top notch universities and are majoring in the very same thing that they are. There are thousands of people that want to change the world just like they do. There are thousands of people who are just as smart and as talented as they are. In other words, they are not special.

Now obviously Mr. McCullough didn’t really mean to discourage these kids into thinking that all that they had accomplished thus far meant absolutely nothing and that all the hard work they had put in until that point was all for nothing. He simply didn’t want to send them out into this big old world thinking that there weren’t thousands of other people just like them, who had accomplished the same things and worked just as hard.

Of course our children are special to us, and everything they do is special and remarkable, but if we don’t prepare them for the fact that when they go out into this world, what we see as being remarkable, the rest of world will see as simply average, then we are doing them a disservice. We are not giving them the proper tools to really make something of themselves. They need to know that the world can be their oyster but it will not just open itself up to them without them putting in the work to pry it open.

We keep sending them out into the world with this sense of entitlement, thinking that they are so special that they don’t have anyone else out there to compete with. We are allowing them to dilute themselves into thinking that they are the only one’s who can do whatever it is that they do. But they are not. We have to let them know that they will have to fight for their rightful place in a world full of people who are exactly like them. As David McCullough stated in his speech, “if everyone is special, then no one is.”

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

If You Don’t Dream Big You Might As Well Not Dream At All

June 5, 2012 jcladyluv

“If you don’t know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else.”

~Lawrence J. Peter

I was reading a blog post by one of the bloggers I subscribe to today (Chersti Nieveen) about daring to dream. She spoke about a conversation she had with one of her critique friends about allowing yourself to believe whatever you want for five minutes, and then accept the reality of the situation. Basically allow yourself to dream big, as big as you wish, for five minutes, and then focus on what your reality is.

At first I was a little confused because it seemed like if you thought about everything you wanted for yourself and then you jolted yourself back to a reality that makes those dreams seem impossible then it would feel like a big let down. However, after thinking about her post for a while I think I realized what it was that she was trying to advise to her readers.

If you allow yourself to imagine all that you dream to have for your life, all the things that people will tell you are just not possible, and then tune back into the reality of where things stand, it can give you some focus on what needs to be done to make those visions you had for those five minutes become a reality.

When I took five minutes to think about what I dream of (to be honest I probably would need a little more than five minutes) it included many things but the main things are to sustain a living solely from my writing, to publish more novels, to have my articles start to appear in national magazines and newspapers, and to start my online magazine (Write 2 Be Magazine). Allowing myself to dream of the those things as if they were already in existence gave me a clearer focus on how to better go about attaining those things.

Sometimes I forget that it is okay to let myself think about the big bold dreams that I have for myself. The one’s that for so long seem so impossible to ever reach. It’s not crazy to think that you could actually make those dreams come true. It’s not that far fetched is it? After all, how can you ever really go after what it is you want without really admitting to yourself all of what it is that you want. Knowing where you want to end up only enables you to focus on the path you need to take to get there.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Smiling Through the Not Knowing of It All

June 4, 2012 jcladyluv

“Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain.”

~Author Unknown

You ever have those days where you sit and think about all of the things that are just not going the way that you expected them to. Where you are not where you thought you would be and you’re tired of trying so damn hard because it all seems like it just might be for nothing.

Today wasn’t a bad day for me necessarily but I had a conversation with someone who was talking about how much they doubted themselves at what they’re purpose was at one point in time and how they finally decided to move out of their own way and get hustling even if no one else believed in them.

It’s the way I used to be and the way I would love to be again but I just had that slight feeling of ‘what’s the point’ after having that conversation. I believe in me but to this very minute I still feel like I’m the only one that seems to believe that I am good enough at what I do to ever make a decent living at it. Ordinarily there is nothing wrong with being the only one who believes that you’re good at what you do, for a while that is.

The only thing is that with being a writer, there has to be someone else that believes you’re good enough eventually if you ever want to make a living at it. I don’t just mean the one person here and the one person there that comes around so sporadically that you can’t really call that a decent living, I mean the steady stream of people that are willing to take a chance on the belief that you have in yourself.

Well when I have one of those days, where I just want to throw in the towel on it all and simply give up I try to listen to music that motivates me and gets me back in the right frame of mind again. One of the best songs for me to listen to when I feel like giving up is Kirk Franklin’s ‘Smile’ because the lyrics of the course are just what I need to hear.

I Smile. Even though I hurt see I smile

I know God is working so I smile

Even though I’ve been here for a while, I smile.

Smile. It’s so hard to look up when you’ve been down.

Sure would hate to see you give up now.

You look so much better when you smile, so smile.

How can you not smile after hearing such lyrics? How can you want to give up after hearing those lyrics? How could you not feel motivated to do what God put in motion for you to be doing? After hearing that song everything seems to be put back in focus again. My purpose seems to be back front and center, where it should have always been.

The fact is that I would not just be letting myself down if I was to toss my dreams aside, but more importantly I would be letting God down as well. I just have to remember that just because I am down right now, just because I am not where I want to be right now, doesn’t mean that God isn’t still working on me and my life. I guess I keep forgetting that I am not the only one who believes in me and my gifts, because God believed in me first.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Who’s Still Afraid of Rejection? Oh Yeah, That Would Be Me

June 1, 2012 jcladyluv

“Believe in yourself and in your own voice, because there will be times in this business when you will be the only one who does. Take heart from the knowledge that an author with a strong voice will often have trouble at the start of his or her career because strong, distinctive voices sometimes make editors nervous. But in the end, only the strong survive.”

~Jayne Ann Krentz

Yes, I said it. As much as I try to convince others not to be afraid to go after what they want for their dreams and to not always be afraid that someone is going to say no, I have not yet been able to take my own advice. But isn’t that how it always goes? You tell someone to go for it, don’t be afraid, go big or go home, and all of those other motivating and encouraging things you say to your friends, that you whole heartedly mean when you’re saying them, yet somehow you still can’t apply that rule of thumb to you and your life’s dreams.

I can’t seem to move out of my own damn way. I keep putting it on my to do lists that I have to get these query letters to these national magazines that I’ve been dying to see my writing in, or the query letters to this list of agents that I want to possibly represent me, and yet when I go to type up the letters, or even just a simple letter of introduction, I get so caught up in trying to make them perfect. I’ll get the letters done but then when I go over them it just doesn’t scream perfection and I get worried about a rejection that hasn’t happened, and one that can’t if I don’t ever send the damn letters anywhere.

I can’t figure out why I always do this to myself. I know I’m not perfect and while you hear people always talking about pitching the perfect pitch and not sending imperfect query letters out, I know that all of them couldn’t have gotten it right all the time. Their letters couldn’t have always got them a guaranteed acceptance from the publication or agent of their choice. So why is it that I can’t get the notion of perfection out of my head?

It’s seriously holding me back and the truth of the matter is that the most imperfect query letter is the one that never gets seen by anyone. Next week I am going to make it my mission to get up the courage with being okay that I’m not perfect and that my letters most likely won’t be perfect, but at least they will be sent out, and at least, if they do get rejected by everyone I send them to, they were still seen.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

The Life You Breathe Into the Words That You Speak

May 30, 2012 jcladyluv

“As it is written, “I have made you the father of many nations”—in the presence of the God in whom he believed, who gives life to the dead and calls into existence the things that do not exist.”

~Romans 4:17

Words have a lot of power. Not just the words that we write down, but also the words that we speak. Not just to other people but the words that we tell ourselves. I was watching an interview between Dr. Wayne Dyer and Oprah Winfrey on her Super Soul Sunday show the other morning and he was speaking about the Art of manifestation and placing into our imagination who it is that we are and not stressing who it is that we are not.

That really hit me when he said that. No really, I was actually still asleep when the interview was on and I could hear the T.V. in my state of being still half sleep and half awake, but when I heard him say that it woke me up. I quickly sat up in my bed as I heard him talk about how people who constantly say I am depressed, I am sick, I am sad, I am broke, I am not good enough, are inadvertently breathing life into those words and those feelings. I thought to myself, I am one of those people.

Not because I ever wanted to be. Just because I think I spend way too much time professing the circumstances that I am stuck in instead of approaching it in the manner of claiming the end result. Something so simple as taking the phrase ‘I am broke’ out of your vocabulary, and claiming the prosperity that lies ahead of you and that is within your reach could change the journey for any one of us. Instead of reminding ourselves of what it is that we don’t have, or the not so positive feelings that we might be feeling, we have to lay claim to what it is that we want to be true.

It’s not that you should pretend that you are not depressed, rather that you can choose another thought to have. You can make the choice not to put into your imagination something that you don’t want to materialize. If I am feeling like I am just (as I felt all last week) not very much in the writing mood, and I breathe those words into life, then of course no writing is going to get done.

I am going to work very hard to start practicing those words of wisdom from Mr. Wayne Dyer in regards to manifesting what I want in my life by speaking it and making it so. I have to keep in mind that when God said that all things are possible through him, he didn’t mean some things and not others. He meant exactly what he said, ALL. I want to breathe life into much more positive ways of seeing things.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

The Trouble with (My) Time Management

May 29, 2012 jcladyluv

I have missed my blog in the last week that I have been absent from it and it was not my intention to not post anything for that length of time but I know that my problem is my many issues with managing my time. As I told you guys before I recently started my Masters program in Psychology so I have been trying to adjust my time to fit my school work in which makes it harder to find the time to write the way I want.

However, that is not a good enough reason for the lack of writing on my part lately because this is my dream and my passion and I know that if I want it bad enough (and I do) then I need to put in the work and the time to get it done without all of the excuses.

In a previous post I said that a writer must show up everyday, even when they do not necessarily feel the inspiration to write. Especially those writers that consider writing their business and career as well as their passion. I had intended to practice that but you know what they say about good intentions.

And just as I start to feel so guilty about not writing as consistently as I had planned to and I start using even my lack of writing as an excuse of why I feel too depressed to write, I start to think that I can’t be the only writer who has time management issues when it comes to trying to fit the whole world into the small window of 24 hours.

Well if any of my fellow writers out there have figured out the secret to managing their time and maintaining a decent level of productivity please clue me in on it because I am seriously losing the battle of managing my time over here.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

When Life Gives You Teachable Moments…

May 15, 2012 jcladyluv

“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.”

~Author Unknown

In being a mother there are always those moments where you just sit back and let your child learn their hard lessons on their own, usually the hard way. However, there are other times when you see your child going through some of the same things that you may have went through when you were around their age, and you want to just stop them and advise them with your experience as their guide. The lessons don’t always sink in, but you still want to take that moment and make it a teachable one.

While it may not make sense to them at that moment, much like you did when you got older, they will see the value in that lesson when they least expect it. Every now and then, you will even teach yourself those same lessons all over again while trying to impart wisdom on them.

Recently I have been trying to help my daughter deal with the issue of being teased and picked on and bullied at school by her classmates. It’s been painful to see her go from loving to go to school and learn new things to hating the fact that she has to go because of those very kids in her class. I try my best to help her try and find ways to deal with the situation but so far, nothing has really stuck.

I even try to use my experience of having gone through the exact same things when I was in elementary school and having to learn the ways to deal with it the hard way and it seems to help her for about a week (if that) but then she started acting out in class (which is completely unlike her) in response to her classmates bothering her. When she tries to blame whatever they did to antagonize her for the reason why she chose to act out in class, I make sure to let her know that no one else is responsible for her actions but her.

I remind her that she is supposed to know what’s right and wrong and that no matter what someone else does to her, she knows the appropriate ways to respond and that acting out is not one of them. She cries that she doesn’t understand why they are mean to her and because I don’t know why, I just tell her that she can’t control how people feel or what they do, but she can control how she reacts to them.

I reminded her of how much she loves school, and loves to learn new things and that she shouldn’t allow the children in her class to have that much power over her. As I was telling her this I began to remind myself of the very same thing with certain negative people in my life.

I spent a lot of time in my youth worried about what everyone was going to say about me. I worried whether people were going to like me and I went out of my way doing things (not extremely terrible things) that were out of character for me because I wanted certain people to like me. It worked a lot of the times but then I never really knew if it was me who they liked or just the person I was pretending to be for them.

Even though I don’t bother pretending for anyone anymore, there are certain people, one in particular, that I still find myself wanting their approval. But having to try and teach my daughter to not allow other people to dictate what she does or who she is, I realize that that lesson is not just for her, it’s one that I am still not finished learning.

A person’s negativity only has power over you if you allow it to and you should never, no matter who that person is, allow someone to have that much control over what you do or how you feel. No matter if that person is the closest of friends or even a family member you can not allow that person’s actions or words dictate yours.

We are all responsible for our own actions and choices, and yes, our inaction as well. If we allow someone’s hurtful words or behavior to keep us down and keep us from doing something that we know in our heart is right then we can not place the blame on them. No one can have that kind of power over you unless you give them that power.

What we do or don’t do; the dreams we carry out or don’t carry out; are our own responsibilities and no one else’s. It may be wrong for someone to purposely try and tear us down but we are the only ones that can allow them to succeed.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Time Sure Does Fly When Your Goals Aren’t Being Met

May 11, 2012May 11, 2012 jcladyluv

The year so far has gone by so fast already. We are already in the month of May and I find myself feeling like I just want to hit the rewind button and begin this year all over again.

I had set out to do so many things this year and once again I am in another year of endless letdowns (some of my own making). I don’t know if it is that I set my goals for this year way too high or if I just didn’t bust my ass hard enough to make them happen by any means necessary (probably the latter).

I wanted to travel this year (nowhere specific, just anywhere to get out ofMaryland). I wanted to have my second novel in process of publication already and getting ready to make its debut to the world. I wanted to go to a vocal coach and get my voice back in shape because I wanted to make use of it before it’s too late. I wanted my freelance writing career to become a lot more successful then it has been and getting me to the level of income that allowed me to do the things I wanted to do this year.

So much time I have wasted worrying and stressing about the everyday necessary single mama type of things that there just wasn’t any energy left over for the things that I just want for me. I know that you are probably saying that it’s not too late, the year isn’t over just yet and that is true, but it’s hard for me, at this very moment, to see this year turning out the way I had hoped it would.

I could’ve sworn that this year was going to be my year. I could feel it deep down in the very pit of my soul. Were my gut instincts wrong? Was I thought off in my timing? Is it next year that I have to look forward to?

Well the year isn’t over yet and I do still have a lot of things I could still put in the works, at the very least, to begin the next year off with a good start. I just hope that I can still make the rest of this year that is left count for something.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

I Always Wonder If I Made the Right Choice in Choosing My Dream

April 24, 2012 jcladyluv

“Have the courage to follow your dreams. It’s the first step towards attaining your destiny.”

~Nikita Koloff

I was reading a post on a new blog I stumbled on earlier this morning (The Write Life) and it got me thinking about all of the energy and time and money (although not enough of it) and emotions that I have put into my writing and trying to become more successful and get my name out there. It made me wonder if it has all just been a waste of time and whether or not my time would be better spent working some 9 to 5 job sitting behind some desk typing memos, making copies, and running errands for some boss that I bitch and moan about to my friends as soon as I step foot in my door.

Perhaps I should have continued to work to build up someone else’s business and continue being frustrated at the lack of time it allowed me to spend with my daughter. I certainly would have more money to my name than I do now. I certainly wouldn’t be in a state of perpetual struggle wondering what happens if I don’t have a client, or what happens if I don’t sell my books. I wouldn’t be in a position where I have to rely on my ability to be fearless (which most days isn’t present) just to be able to put my name out there and get my work seen by the right people (or people who know the right people).

If I had only chosen some other profession that held a more stable foundation and didn’t provide so much uncertainty, then I might be able to take trips to wherever I want, or throw huge wonderful birthday parties for my daughter, or buy clothes for my daughter as soon as she needs them, or not always be a month behind in paying bills. I think about the fact that I would be a lot less stressed if I just had a steady stream of income and didn’t choose to go full force at trying to make this thing happen and decide that I wanted to be an at home (or work at home) mother for my daughter.

A lot of times (more times than I would care to admit) I have those questions run through my head. Always wondering if I’m a bad mom for choosing my dream over the comfort-ability that lies in always knowing for certain when the next pay check is coming. But after all of the doubts and fears are swept away, I think about all of the time that I have had with my daughter that I would’ve had to give up and the frustration that I would have continued to feel because I wasn’t able to fully give my writing the attention it needed or deserved when I was working for someone else, and I believe that I have made the right choice, at least the right one for me.

I know that there are plenty of writers out there who do have a regular9 to 5job in which writing coincides with and I applaud them. I admire the balance that they are able to have and still maintain their sanity. I just wasn’t one of those people who could do that.

Now no one may understand my choice that I made years ago to never go back to working for someone else (at least not in fields and professions that didn’t have anything to do with my passion for writing). They may see my struggling as proof that it is not the way for them to go about it. They may (and most likely do) think that I am crazy for not choosing the certainty of knowing when the money is coming in. They may be right.

However, when I see the happiness that my daughter feels knowing that I’m going to be the one taking her to school and picking her up and helping her with her homework, I know that I must have done something right. When I see how proud she is to know her mom is a writer and being able to encourage her to follow her dreams knowing that I followed mine, it makes me feel like its all worth it; all of the uncertainty and the struggle. There will always be days when I think that I am wasting my time, where I wonder if what I’m doing really makes a difference, but I just have to remember to take a step back and look at what I have already accomplished and know in my heart that I made the best decision, for the both of us.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”