Tag: Inspiration

The Reality I’m Left With

November 25, 2024 jcladyluv

I’d like to think I’m someone who goes after all of my dreams, but the reality is that I’m not. I’ve had so many dreams that I never even tried to attain, all because I let the words of a woman who was supposed to be my biggest supporter in life halt me in my tracks. Growing up my mother used to tell me all of the things I would never be able to accomplish and somewhere along the way I started to believe her and it then became my own belief.

I can’t blame her completely because at a certain age one would think that I would have been able to tune her out, but I never did. Her words always lingered in the back of my mind and with every no, and every rejection that came my way, I started to think she must be right. That the dreams I had were pointless all along. I mean, you tend to think the people who are supposed to always believe in you and your abilities and tell you to shoot for the moon are your parents right? So, what they say must be true, right? I know I always make sure to tell my daughter that there isn’t anything she can’t do if she puts her mind to it. Because you aren’t supposed to run around crushing your child’s dreams. The world is already going to try and do that anyway.

The reality is I did not have that kind of parent who fostered and nurtured my creativity, and I don’t really know why that is. Only she can answer why she purposely tried to tear me down instead of build me up. I realize now, perhaps far too late for it to make a difference, that you should never let someone else’s opinions of you and what you can do alter what you know and believe for yourself. Even if it’s family. I could be so much more than I am right now if I had only let my own belief in me overshadow my mother’s disbelief in me.

The reality is that I am where I am in life because I lost faith, in myself and in the purpose that I believe God has for me in this world. Too many times I let what someone else said or thought I couldn’t do take away my power to even try. I am a big believer in the fact that once you have made yourself aware of where you need to improve things, that awareness will then provide you with the strength you need to take actions that will make things better. As much as I don’t like change, I know that one change I must make is to stop letting the hurtful words of others, family or not, linger in the back of my mind and dictate what I believe about myself.

I know me. I know who God created and what He created me for. I know that He did not bring me through everything that I have been through to just give up and because I know that there are people far older than I am who have pursued dreams that others also thought to be impossible, I know that what I want is not out of the realm of possibility. It doesn’t matter that one person tried their hardest to break me and break my spirit. I may bend but I will not break. I didn’t come this far to give up now.

For anyone who has let other people’s harmful words affect the way you feel about the visions you have for your life, it’s not too late to change that. Don’t give anyone else power over what you know your purpose is. They say that hurt people, hurt people, so maybe that is the excuse for those who have tried to diminish other’s ambitions, but you don’t have to let them succeed in their goal by believing a single thing they have to say. Misery loves company but you don’t have to be the company that misery is seeking to keep.

Until next time… #BeFearless #BeMindful #BeResilient

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Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

I Am More Than the Battles I Didn’t Win

August 19, 2024 jcladyluv

It feels like it’s been so long since I’ve written here and updated you. I have been busy, or at least I’ve been trying to be as productive as I possibly can. I published a book at the end of July called ‘The Weight of HER’ (you can check it out on this link) and that was really exciting and I’m so happy that it’s out into the world for everyone to share in this story that has lived in my head for a very long time now. Some would say that I should still be reveling in celebratory bliss and taking in the accomplishment that is publishing a book (because it is definitely not for the faint of heart). I’m pretty sure if it was one of my friends, or hell, anyone else for that matter, I would say the same thing to them. Yet all I can think about is the books that I had planned to publish this year that I’m not going to be able to publish.

Now there’s still one more coming this year (come hell or high water) but in my plan I had envisioned myself publishing at the very least 4 this year. 2 novels, 1 non-fiction essay style book for writers, and a collection of poetry and essays (sort-of memoir-sh). I know that I should be thankful I was able to publish one book and will likely be able to get another one out there…and don’t get me wrong, I am! It’s just setbacks always make me feel like a failure.

Instinctively, I know that we can’t always plan for everything and honestly life would be pretty boring if there were no spontaneity. However, I am a planner to my core. I can envision a dream and believe that it’s possible all day long but if I don’t create a plan to make that vision happen and have a visual representation for the steps I need to take to see that plan through then I get stuck. Then to have that plan be thrown off track by life’s inevitable obstacles, oftentimes leaves me paralyzed. By the time I get unstuck and accomplish one of the things on my list (because y’all know I love my lists) the feeling of being a failure has already set in and it’s a hard feeling to shake.

I have a really wonderful friend who said that I should start making lists (because she knows how I am about my lists lol) of all of the accomplishments that I get done. The things that I manage to achieve despite the curve balls that life has continued to keep throwing me, or the physical limitations that I have developed over the last several years, or the pain that I now feel on an almost daily basis. She even started rattling off some of those things that, while I didn’t forget them, I just didn’t seem to count them. In essence she told me to stop selling myself short and she’s right. I underestimate myself a lot and I think it’s one of those things that if you’ve done it for so long, it is a behavior that is hard to unlearn. I am going to really try my hardest to remember ALL of who I am, and not just the things that I am not.

There are battles that we all face every day. One’s that people know all about and help pull us through. And the one’s that no one else ever sees and that we carry on our own. No matter what the obstacles are, whether you push through it, slide under it, go around it, or just step over it, the point is that you make it to the other side. It doesn’t matter how long it takes you to make it there. It’s the fact that you will have made it. That you accomplished the things you set out to do. Maybe not in the time that you wanted to, but you will eventually be able to add it to your growing list of things you achieved in life. Just remember in the journey to get to the reward that is our dreams, we are more than the battles that we have had to face to get there.

Until next time… #BeFearless #BePersistent #BeVictorious

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Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

Waiting Out the Storm Is Not Procrastination

July 15, 2024 jcladyluv

Writing can sometimes be seen as a mountain and the journey to become a successful writer can oftentimes be a treacherous climb. I procrastinate far more than I should but it is never for lack of ideas or lack of motivation so to speak. Sometimes I’m just trying to process where I’m at, get familiar with my new surroundings, catch my breath, and get up the nerve to keep on climbing.

It’s odd that I’m using a climbing metaphor here, given that I am deathly afraid of heights, but I got the inspiration for this post from a chat on a writer’s stream. It was a day when no one in the chat particularly felt like writing and usually when that happens it’s seen as one procrastinating. Someone very wise and motivating said that it is not procrastinating to wait out the storm. I love that and it made me feel mildly better about my act of doing nothing that evening, which I guess I needed that permission.

I think procrastinating is something that the world tells us that we’re doing if we are somehow not being busy enough and aren’t seen doing something that society deems as productive. The thing about being a writer, or a creative person in general, is that sometimes when we are seen to be doing nothing, we are actually at the height of our creativity. Words don’t just pour onto the page out of nowhere (okay sometimes they do but still, go with me here), they are typically formed in our minds first. We spend a lot of time thinking of what we want to say or how we want to say it before the words ever come out on a page.

Now I’m not an artist and I can’t draw worth anything, but I imagine that it’s somewhat that way for artists as well. So yes, we daydream, we stare out of windows, we lie down and stare at the ceiling, sometimes we just need a day to veg out on TV shows and movies but not to waste time and do nothing. These are things that fuel our creativity. They fill up or creative well so that we can create again because the well can run dry and that is exactly what we don’t want.

We encounter a lot of storms in life. I feel like it’s somehow meant to be that way. With no storm, comes no adversity, and with no adversity, comes no battles, and without any battles, there are no victories to be won. Does that mean that we’re always going to be in some kind of fight? Possibly? I mean if you’re a dreamer, you’re sort of always in a fight, aren’t you? One to make people see what you see or believe in you the way you believe in yourself. Sometimes the fight is quite literally within yourself.

But no matter what storm you are struggling with, know that it is okay to take a moment, find a safe spot to catch your breath, and just wait out the storm. It’s not being lazy. It’s not procrastinating. It’s not giving up. It is simply what it sounds like, waiting for the storm to pass so that you can finish making the climb all the way to the top, where your dreams are waiting for you.

Until next time… #BeDiligent #BeBold #BeFearless

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Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

This Too Shall Pass…Or At Least That’s What I’m Told

June 3, 2024 jcladyluv

I was listening to a podcast earlier this morning and it was talking about adversities and about getting to that place in which, even in an anxious state, you can say okay, I’m here and it’s okay because this will not last. This place of endless obstacles and feeling like I’m being tested will not be a constant. This is only for right now and it is arguably preparing you for something far greater than you could have ever imagined. Notably, it won’t feel that way while you’re in that state but as the saying goes, this too shall pass.

What I struggle with is what to do while I am in the midst of those obstacles. What do I do with those feelings of hopelessness and despair. How do I get to that place where I can see the good of all that I’m going through and the inevitable betterment that it will provide me. The logical side of me knows that this is all happening to teach me something and to grow me into a better, stronger, more resilient person. But as I’ve said here before, I’m not always logical in my thinking. Particularly when I’m in a state of depression, I don’t think in the most rational terms, and everything seems like it’s going to get worse without ever getting better. I try to stay positive but some days it’s harder than others to see the purpose in all of this.

That being said, I am a person of faith, even in the instances where my faith starts to slide a little because I find myself wishing I could ask God why He thinks I’m strong enough to go through all of this. Even then, I still know that there is a reason that I am here, a reason for everything that I’ve been through. Maybe it’s to prepare me for greater things but maybe it’s just so I can be there for someone else getting ready to go through their own obstacle course in life so they can know they’re not alone and that they can get through it just like I will.

That’s the interesting thing that I’m realizing about adversity. Sometimes it has nothing to do with you necessarily, as much as it has to do with those you are meant to guide through their own dark tunnel. Now I don’t know if I’m the right guide for anyone honestly but if that’s the purpose God has for me, I will gladly take on that role. Now do I wish I had a little less adversity of my own to deal with? Sure. But do I think that whatever God is up there planning is far better than any plans that I have of my own? Absolutely! I guess I’ll just have to wait for this storm to pass to see clearly what God has in store once I make it through. For now, I’ll just keep pushing forward and walking towards the light at the end of this very long, winding, dark tunnel. If you’re going through your own dark tunnel, just know that you aren’t alone in your struggle.

Until next time… #BeDiligent #BeBrave #BeDetermined

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Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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The Training Ground That is Adversity

May 13, 2024 jcladyluv

If adversity is a training ground for eventual success, then I have been in intense preparation for years and once I reach whatever success actually is I am going to be the most prepared a person could ever be. At least that is how it feels when it seems like there is an obstacle or stumbling block around every corner. I’m coming up on a year since the bottom was essentially ripped out from underneath my life and I lost my home and more than 20 years’ worth of memories. To say that I am not looking forward to May 19^th would be an understatement. I’ve had a lot of times in my life where I have felt like a failure but never more than that day when I literally lost everything. Or at least it felt as if I lost everything.

However, looking back, I see clearly that I didn’t lose everything, at least not the things that truly count anyway. I lost material possessions sure, but the things that I have always held within, strength, tenacity, courage, passion for my writing (which okay, it slowed a lot because, you know, trauma), and my faith; those things never went anywhere. While sure some days my faith has definitely been tested, and I’ve had days where I look to God and ask why He thinks I can handle this level of adversity because I don’t believe I’m THAT strong, it is mostly still intact.

I know that everything you go through in life is supposed to teach you something and we should never be at a point where we stop learning. If I had to guess what this period in my life was meant to teach me (which one could argue I’m still resisting the lesson lol), it would be that change is inevitable and that you can’t fight against it because it is ultimately for your betterment. If you have been following along with my journey and this blog for years then you know, I HATE CHANGE. I’m a very routine person and I am very averse to things around me changing, even if I know the change is good. I like to know what to expect, and I like things to be the way I believe they will work best for me. No variation, no room for even a slight difference in what I’ve grown accustomed to. The problem is (and logically I’m aware of this) that life doesn’t work best when things stay the same all the time.

Not to say routine isn’t good but you should allow for changes because change can be good too. Instinctively I know this. Some of the best things I’ve had happen in my life have been due to drastic changes and yet still, I don’t like for things to change. I’ve heard people often say that when you’re not making the changes that God wants you to make so that you can fulfill the purpose, he has for you then He will find a way (or the Universe will) to make you have to move in the direction you need to go. I’m starting to feel like what happened to me last year was a way to make the changes in my life happen whether I wanted them to or not.

There are specific things that have already shifted, most likely for the better, that I had been resistant to changing until the situation that happened changed things for me. Would certain realizations have happened if this situation hadn’t forced things to change? Probably not. Simple changes that needed to be made, that I had been refusing to make on my own (I won’t get into all of it because the list is long lol), some beliefs that I had been holding onto about myself that simply weren’t true. I kept resisting certain changes that were necessary and the Universe found the most dramatic way to tell me that you may not like change but you’re going to have no choice now. I feel like the Universe was a little overly dramatic here, but the message has been received.

I am trying to grow more, in many ways. I am trying to not see change as the enemy and adapt to it more. Mostly because now I simply have no choice as there are changes happening all the time now that I can’t avoid. I am trying to understand that while having a routine is certainly not a bad thing, neither is changing things on a whim. I am trying to see the good things that change can bring and embrace them instead of ward them off and rebelling against them.

I was reminded yesterday of a quote from a young lady who auditioned for America’s Got Talent. Her name was Jane, but she went by the name Nightbirde and she was there going for her dreams even though she was diagnosed with a terminal brain cancer that only gave her a 2% chance to live. She said that you can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore before you decide to be happy. These words brought me to tears the first time I heard her say them and even more so yesterday when I was reminded of them.

Times are hard right now for me. Even though I am in what some people will see as a more stable situation because I’m not still in a hotel room waiting for a knock at the door. Things are still hard right now and there are some days where better just seems so far off. But I don’t want to wait for that far off better day in order to find things that make me happy. I can’t wait for a better that may be further away than I care to admit because that’s a long time to not be happy. So, I’m taking in stride this training ground that is my adversity and I’m just going to find some small thing that makes me happy each day to get through each battle as they come. I want you to know that while the battles may keep coming your way, the choice in how you face them is yours. Choose to be happy now, especially when life is hard. Just remember, hard times don’t last always. Remember to take care of yourselves.

Until Next Time… #BeDiligent #BeMindful #BeCourageous

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Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

The Words You Speak Matter

March 4, 2024 jcladyluv

So, the thing about being back in a situation that you know is toxic out of necessity is that it often times makes you feel powerless and like there’s nothing within your control. Even if things seem slightly decent in the beginning (I mean aside from being constantly miserable because the situation sucks) you know that inevitably the same toxic nature that you worked so hard to escape for years and years on end and to emotionally work past will render its ugly head.

So since being back under the same roof with my mother, I have been uncomfortable, not happy, and made to feel small all over again on a regular basis. Having said that I’ve been trying to make the best out of terrible circumstances because there’s just no other choice right now while I’m working to get back on my feet. I smile hoping that will make me feel better because I know that things could be worse. I also smile to keep myself from crying because that won’t do me any good either. However, in moments when my mother says things that seem purposely designed to be hurtful, the emotions from trauma resurface and there’s just no controlling how insignificant I feel.

The other day, when I chose to buy myself a pair of pajamas on clearance to celebrate me writing over 11,000 words last week, she took the time to remind me that the words I’m writing aren’t currently making me any money, thus being pointless. When I responded with the fact that well if I don’t write then I can’t put any books out to buy, her counterpoint was to say that no one is buying my books anyway so is there a point. Fact of the matter is that while I’m not rolling in the dough from my books (clearly, or I wouldn’t be in my current situation) and I’m not making money hand over fist, there are in fact people that have bought my books. I just watched a panel discussion this past weekend on AuthorTube where someone did in fact buy and read my novel and it seemed as if they actually liked it.

I didn’t bother highlighting this to my mother because honestly it wouldn’t have made any difference to her because clearly my art, my creativity, is worthless in her eyes. I simply said to her “you say the nicest things” with every ounce of sarcasm that I could muster. Then I proceeded to go in the room with my daughter, sit down, and out of nowhere came the tears. My daughter then came and hugged me because she, hearing this whole exchange and being a creative herself, understood the hurt. One could say I should be well past the point where her words can hurt me, but I guess I am not. Words hurt. It’s why words matter so much and what you say to people matter. They can be what motivates a person to keep pushing forward or they can be what causes a person to quit.

There are two kinds of people in this world. The kind that go out of their way to think of the positive thing to say that will help someone see their potential and the light they hold within them. Or the kind of person (like my mother), who goes out of their way to say things they know will hurt someone simply because they don’t care about the feelings of others. They don’t see people’s potential or their light, only their mistakes and their weaknesses. I strive to see the light in others and in myself and I hope that I always remain that kind of person. There’s just no reason to say hurtful things to people just because you can. It serves no purpose.

When I told one of my closest friends about this exchange his words to me were to “use the sludge of that disrespect as fuel to push forward on the next night that I think I’m out of steam.” My favorite thing that he said to me (which may just now be my new motto) is to stay driven on rage and f*ck yous. To let that “dismissive bullshit” be the catalyst that makes me push harder. One thing is for damn sure. I have to hurry up and get the hell out of here or else her need to crush my dreams and my spirit is going to eat away at my soul. So, I am going to stay driven on that rage and those f*ck yous that I would say if she was anyone else but who she is. That’s all I have to share for now. Thank you for letting me vent here and remember that the words you say to the people in your lives matters, so make sure you are careful about what those words are.

Until next time… #BeEmpowered #BeBold #BeMotivated

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Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

Joy In the Little Things

January 5, 2024 jcladyluv

When it comes to welcoming in a New Year, I am normally very excited with anticipation for whatever is going to come. This year, while I am happy that we are no longer in 2023 (also known as the worst year of my life) I am hesitant to let myself get excited. Not because I don’t wish for good things but just because last year left me feeling a little banged up and bruised and I’m questioning if good things are actually coming. Now that I’ve gotten those feelings out there and can let that go, I will say that I am still holding out lots of optimism for things to turn around and get better this year. I have plans and goals as always, but I did opt to do my goals quarterly this year instead of for the entire year.

My word for the year is Joy and that is what I would like to welcome more of this year. More moments in which I experience the Joys of life and appreciate the happiness that I get from the little things. I want to achieve successes and get some big wins this year but I don’t want to miss out on the smaller, more joyous moments that will undoubtedly come along in pursuit of those things.

Oftentimes we miss the delight that should be felt from little things like walking outside and feeling the sun on your face, or just being able to catch up with an old friend that you hadn’t spoken to in a while. These are precious moments and I hope not to take those for granted anymore because I think I didn’t treasure them enough before. This year I want to hold on to those smaller moments on my way to those bigger ones. After all, aren’t the big moments in our lives just made up of a bunch of smaller ones that happened along the way to make the big dreams possible?

I suppose that is how I also want to look at accomplishing my goals for the year as well. I have some big things that I would like to get accomplished. Let’s face it, I have always been a big goal type of person. What I am usually not as great at is breaking those goals down into the smaller tasks that make it possible for those bigger goals to come to fruition. I am going to try and be better this year about concentrating on the smaller tasks that will ultimately get me to those larger goals. Breaking down my goals into those smaller tasks will not only allow me to better achieve my overall goals but also allow me to enjoy the feeling of accomplishment along the way of the larger journey to the end goal (if that makes sense).

I guess all of that was to say, or to remind everyone as well as myself, not to forget to take pleasure and joy in the little moments in life. Don’t take the smaller victories and milestones for granted in pursuit of the bigger, more elaborate, goals. Every single moment we get on this earth is precious and just because they may not be big and grandiose does not mean that they shouldn’t be treasured and that we shouldn’t take stock in the Joy that they give us. Happy New Year everyone and may 2024 bring all of you small moments of immense Joy and Happiness.

Until next time… #BeMindful #BeOptimistic #BeHappy

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Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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Here’s to the Month of Planning and the Next Chapter

December 1, 2023 jcladyluv

I can’t believe it’s December already! November was a very hard month, and with the year I’ve had, that’s saying something. Along with the current situation I’ve been in now since the end of May and the fact that it doesn’t seem like it will be getting better before the year is out, I have had to recover from an emergency surgery I certainly didn’t expect to need. I suppose what the circumstances around my surgery taught me was that whatever is meant to happen will happen regardless and sometimes it could be for the better in the end.

Now I don’t mean that having to have emergency surgery is ever a good thing. Of course not. But I was going to just ignore the abdominal pain that I was in. I was going to tough it out and keep pushing forward to try and deal with the life that was crumbling in around me the best I can despite that pain that had decided to pop up out of nowhere. If it weren’t for my daughter insisting that I go to the hospital I would have kept pushing and who knows what would have happened. The doctor certainly seemed to be convinced that had I waited even one more day there could have been dire consequences, and apparently, I had had a hernia for quite some time and just never knew it. The problem was there, just lying dormant, and only just then came to the surface.

I’ve never been very good at taking things easy and sitting down and just resting. I mean even on days that I designate as self-care days I still find myself planning things out that are writing (thus work) related and just doing things to keep busy despite the resting I’m supposed to be doing. The surgery (and perhaps in some way, the Universe) made me have to rest and have to simply be still. It drove me crazy to not be able to do the things that I was used to doing. To not be able to do things for myself and have to rely on other people (mainly my daughter) for help with basic things was frustrating to say the least. The first few weeks I couldn’t even drive which, if you know anything about me, is my peace and my escape when things feel crazy.

I can honestly look back now and say it was probably what I needed. To just have to sit, to rest, to think through things without multi-tasking, to not always be busy with something. To really, truly, just be STILL. I’ve heard that sometimes when you’re not listening to your body and what it’s telling you that the universe will find a way to make you listen. I can confirm, this is true. And guess what. While I was being still, well things didn’t necessarily get any better, situation wise, but they didn’t get any worse either.

Having said all of that, December is typically a planning month for me. It’s where I usually get excited about planning the coming year. It’s when I let my optimism take over and get really hopeful for the good things I think are to come. While my situation this past year has put a slight damper on that optimism, I am still who I am. Meaning I’m still going to make plans and I’m still going to strive for a better year to come.

I can’t say I’m filled with as much hope as I normally would be during this time of year, but I do have a lot of Faith that fills in where hope leaves off and I’m going to run with that Faith. I have Faith that since God hasn’t left my side yet, He’s definitely not going to leave me now. I have Faith that all that I lost this past year will be replaced and replenished with better and more abundant things than I could have even imagined for myself.

A childhood friend of mine told me that when I come out on the other side of this, I’m going to have one hell of a testimony and perhaps that is the reason for all of this happening. I have Faith that my story is only going to get better from here. That it will somehow be an inspiration for others to know that no matter what storms you go through in life, there will be a rainbow on the other side of that storm. This is just another chapter and I’m going to look forward to seeing what the next chapter holds for me. Here’s to next year, and the next chapter, being amazing for us all!

Until next time… #BeOptimistic #BeHopeful #BeMindful

Link to my Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/authorjccarpenter

Link to my GoFundMe: https://gofund.me/55b817f1

Link to my Amazon Wish List: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3FHOYNA8LFMHG?ref_=list_d_wl_lfu_nav_4

Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine