Even an Icon Like Oprah Can Have Fear

“The thing you fear most has no power. Your fear of it is what has the power. Facing the truth really will set you free.”

~Oprah Winfrey 

This morning Oprah was on the CBS This Morning show and she was promoting her network, OWN.  She talked about a lot of different things but one thing that struck me was when she admitted that if she knew then (when starting the network) what she knows now she probably wouldn’t have done it (or at least not at the time that she did it).  She acknowledged that when she launched her network she was not ready.  In fact that was one of the lessons that she took away from her process of starting the network, that you shouldn’t launch something just because you already gave a date to everyone else if you are not ready to.  

That was both shocking and admirable to me and just made me want to model my business sense (that I am still trying to mold) after the road she has already paved for the women coming after her even more.  She spoke of the critics in the press who have criticized her brave but somewhat dismal start to her cable network, and one headline, “Oprah not quite standing on her OWN”, that she tries not to let dictate whether she is in fact succeeding or failing at her new endeavor.  In her words, “it’s just press”.  She said that because you fail at something (which her network is in no way failing) doesn’t mean that you are a failure.  

It made me start to think about that good old fear of failure that I can’t seem to shake for the life of me.  Why am I so afraid to fail?  It’s not as if my failing at any given thing would mean that it’s the end of the road for me and my dreams.  In my heart I know this but my head (or perhaps that little devilish angel sitting on my shoulder) keeps telling me that if I fail even one more time at something then that’s it, I’m just destined to be a failure.  If only I could shake that demon trying to creep its way into my subconscious every time I think I’m going to get somewhere.  But maybe that’s just it.  Maybe it creeps in because I am getting somewhere.  

My best friend, Ms. L. always says that when everything starts to begin to go wrong that she knows she must be doing something right.  She says that it just means that the devil is working overtime to stop the progress she is making.  And look at Ms. L., she just launched her magazine, PIEhole (of which I have an article in) and it’s taken off better than I think even she expected it to (although I knew it would).  Although she never acknowledged being afraid as often as she probably was, she never let that fear stop her.  

Hell, if Oprah can have the courage to admit that she was afraid of something (because it seems that she just does this stuff so fearlessly) but that she pressed on anyway, then why couldn’t that be my story down the line as well?  I know that I would never want to be doing anything else and I truly feel as though God instilled in me this specific purpose and I owe it to him, if not myself, to see that purpose through.  As Oprah also said in her interview, “There’s never going to be a time to quit.  I will die in the midst of doing what I love to do and that is using my voice and using my life to try to inspire other people to live the best of theirs.” 

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

Spring Cleaning for Creativity’s Sake

Ms. L.’s post yesterday reminded me that it’s that time of year again.  You know, the time when everyone starts to begin thinking about all of the spring cleaning they have to do.  I am really big on getting into the whole spring cleaning vibe and going through and tossing out old clothes, doing a big clean up around the house that involves not only mopping all floors but also wiping down all surfaces until they are spotless, and tackling the re-organizing my tiny little corner of an office in my room.  But spring cleaning should not stop after the household messes that we have been putting off for just such a time for mass clean-up are actually done.  

For us creative types spring cleaning doesn’t just end at the household, but it transcends to spring cleaning your mind, your spirit, and your body, in an effort to spark your creativity and become even more productive.  For me, there are three things that affect my creativity in a negative way; if my house is a mess, if my body isn’t feeling its best, and if my mind is cluttered with conflicting and contradicting thoughts.  

I feel like it’s not just my house that I have to get in order (as far as cleaning), but that I need to amplify my efforts on maintaining good healthy habits (helps with the stress), and most of all I need to really get my head in the right frame of mind and focused on what’s important and what needs to be done.  As you all know I am really concentrating on getting that fire back about my writing goals and making the things happen that I want to happen.  Hopefully spring cleaning on all fronts will help me do that.  

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

My Up and Down Marriage to Writing

“Marriage is a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose.” 

~Beverley Nichols

Ms. L. and I always joke about writing and our laptops being our husbands.  It seems like more of a reality as time goes on and as I pour more of myself into it.  If I were truly married to my writing, then I think that our marriage might be in trouble and standing on very shaky ground right now.  Marriage of any kind needs love constantly poured into it, attention consistently given to it, passion infused all through it, and it needs to be nurtured through all of its years of commitment and union.  

As I think about my writing in those terms, I realize that I haven’t been a good wife to it lately.  At times I have neglected my writing and have been completely lazy when it comes to my talent.  I haven’t spent enough time with my craft and I have let way too many other personal dilemmas stand in the way of me taking my writing career to the next level (or stage of our relationship).  I haven’t nurtured my gift for expressing myself through my words as I know that I can and at times I have appeared to have completely given up on the relationship altogether.  But I haven’t given up.  

My writing may be the only constant relationship I have had since I developed a love for it at the age of ten.  It has been by my side and it has never abandoned me (at least not for extremely large amounts of time), nor has it judged me.  It has allowed me to use it as my vessel to the rest of the world and lately I have taken advantage that it will always be around for me.  I have not showed it just how much I truly treasure it and how passionate I still feel about it and I am sorry for that.          

I know that if I don’t stop neglecting my writing and my purpose altogether, then it will soon leave me.  It gives me warnings every time I come down with writer’s block but I’m sure that it feels that it hasn’t gotten through to me.  I know that there are times when it just weeps at the fact that I appear to have abandoned it for the fear (the invisible third party in our relationship) that I will never do it justice.  Well writing, I want you to know that you have gotten through to me.  I am ready to recommit myself to you from this day forward.  

I am turning my back on the fear that has interfered with us and plagued us for quite some time now.  I have finally realized that if I don’t give you the love and time that you need, you can’t give me the fulfillment that I need in return.  I know that I have to nurture you and take time to enhance our relationship so that it only gets better and more purposeful as the years go on.  

I plan to spend as many seconds and minutes of the day with you that I can on a daily basis no matter how impossible it may seem to make it happen.  I thank you for hanging in there and giving me continuous chances to get our relationship back on the right track.  From now until forever I will make sure to honor you and be true to you so that we can prosper in this life together.  

I love Writing and I’m just thankful that Writing still loves me right back. 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

Conquering Fear Doesn’t Happen Overnight

It is typical for someone to give good advice to others without ever really taking that same advice themselves.  I’ve written a lot about not letting fear, whether it is fear of failure or fear of success, stop you from going after your dreams.  I stand by that advice but sometimes I just can’t seem to take it myself.  It isn’t that I don’t want to let the fear go, it just seems that I can’t.  I get moments where I feel fearless and ready to conquer the world.  Then something happens to set me back and I get afraid.  I find myself afraid that I won’t succeed, then afraid that I will.  

I spent a lot of time last night assessing exactly what it is that I seem to be doing wrong, or rather what is wrong with me.  Why it is that I keep missing opportunities simply by not going after them in the first place.  I look at my best friend Ms. L and watch her hustle her ass off to climb further and further up that ladder.  She’s doing what she loves to do and she is going into it all fearlessly.  Now Ms. L and I are both in pursuit of the same thing, success doing what it is we love to do.  We have different avenues of the media industry that we want to conquer but we are both passionate about creativity and writing and making a living at it.  I just can’t seem to mirror that same fierceness she has to hustle.  

I sat in my bed last night trying to figure out why.  Was it that I didn’t want it as bad anymore?  Is it that I just feel that I am not cut out to be my own businesswoman after all?  Can it just be that I am not hungry enough for it?  No, none of those things apply to me.  Then I realized that I’m still afraid.  I thought it had gone away.  I thought I had talked myself through the phase of being too afraid but somewhere along the way it crept back in.  I’m afraid of succeeding but mostly I’m afraid of failing at everything I’ve ever dreamed of.  

What I also realized in my moment of self analysis last night was that if I don’t try and give it my all then my fear will come true anyway.  I fail without even trying to succeed.  Not trying will be failing.  I wish I could say that the fear is gone now.  I wish that I could say that once it passes this time that it will never creep back in.  But I can say that I know that fear is not going to help me get what I want and what I’m destined to have; success.  For anyone out there experiencing a serious case of fear, you are not alone.  We will overcome it and climb our way up that ladder.  It just might take us a little bit longer than others.  Until tomorrow…Remember that Fear stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

Letting Go of an Unwanted Label

Ms. L did a blog series last week about the labels that we, as a society, place on ourselves.  It seemed as if almost all of them applied to me in some way, shape, or form, but the one that really screamed out to me was broke.  She and I talked in depth about this particular label because I tend to have to cry broke almost every other week (on a bad month it might be every week).  

It seems as if when the money does come in the bills and whatever my daughter needs at any given moment eats it all up.  It occurred to me when reading Ms. L’s post that if I keep putting it out there that I am broke, that quite possibly may be the reason that I remain that way.  It is said that you attract whatever energy you put out and if that is in fact true then putting out the energy of always being broke would only attract more instances of being broke.  

I joke all of the time about wishing that I was lucky enough to win the lottery but the funny thing is I would have to actually play the lottery in order to win it.  I shy away from the practice of playing the lottery only because I don’t want to end up being even more broke than I already am.  But I never consider the odds of me actually winning the lottery.  I never even put off that energy.  

If I keep holding on to that title of being broke or thinking that I am not lucky enough to achieve something having never even given it a try then it is no wonder the label of being broke is holding on to me.  From now on I am just going to say that I am temporarily out of cash (T.O.C.) because that’s all it really is.  I am not broke because in a lot of ways I am richer in certain areas that don’t even involve having money.  That is one label I am more than happy to shed.  Until tomorrow…What label would you let go of? 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

I Was Honored To Be Chosen and Now I Pass On This Honor To 7 Others

Okay so back on the 16th of January I was selected by my best friend Ms. L as a Versatile Blogger Award recipient.  I was once again selected by one of my blog’s followers, Leonie Lucas, for the Versatile blogger award.  I know it took me long enough to get around to actually accepting my award that I really do cherish and am honored to get but today I am doing just that.  So first let me just say thank you to Ms. L and Leonie Lucas again for my award.  

So as I understand, accepting the award requires me to pass the award along to seven other bloggers and to tell my readers seven little known things about myself.  So tonight I will make my seven selections and share them with you here and tomorrow I will share seven things about myself (whether you will find them interesting or not is another story).  

  1. Confessions of a Love Addict– Blog by Lindsey Tigar
  2. The Daily Cocca– Blog by Chris Cocca
  3. Nail Your Novel– Blog by Roz Morris
  4. Nissi Knows– Blog by Nissi x
  5. Screenwriting From Iowa– Blog by Scott Smith
  6. Roger Tharpe-  A Voice Crying Out Into The Wilderness – Blog by Roger Tharpe
  7. Futuristically Yours– Blog by Harold 

Tomorrow I will disclose 7 things about myself. 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

The Support Around You

Ms. L wrote a blog post the other night about hustling hard for what you want out of life.  I will say that she has got to be the best hustler I know.  When she sets her mind to something and decides that it’s going to happen, she makes it happen, one way or another.  She is a perfect example of the type of friend and person in general that you want surrounding you when you are on a mission to greatness.  They say that birds of a feather flock together and when I was in high school I never understood what that really meant, nor how true that statement was.  

My mother used to hear about certain people that I associated with in high school doing something they didn’t have any business doing, and she would just automatically assume that I was doing the same things (which I wasn’t).  She said that if you surround yourself with certain types of people then that’s the type of person people will think you are.  At the time I thought that it was her being highly judgmental and unfair.  I felt that if you liked someone or at least a lot of their attributes then there shouldn’t be a problem being their friend even if the two of you were total opposites on everything.  I learned as I grew into an adult that my mother (I cringe as I say this) was right.  

You don’t want the people in your circle to be exactly like you (that would just be boring) but you do want them to be people who understand you and your goals and ambitions and who are as ambitious about whatever they want as you are.  You want people surrounding you that are like-minded and that are going to push you when you need a push.  You need people who have their own sense of direction and motivate you to find and follow yours.  

A writer in particular needs a good source of support and motivation in the people that they associate with.  While I have other good supportive people in my circle that motivate me in various ways (as I hopefully motivate them), none of them I admire quite as much as Ms. L.  Her post the other night about hustling harder (and our conversation that came afterwards) gave me great encouragement and motivation.  

I am probably not the best hustler in terms of going after everything I want with extreme vigor but because I am not, it is good to have someone in my corner, in my circle, who is.  Someone who can be a model example of the kind of hustling I should be doing.  Surrounding yourself with the right people, as a writer, is vitally important and should be something that you should definitely reevaluate if you haven’t before.  I thank Ms. L for being the kind of friend and fellow writer that I can take a multitude of notes from and for not being stingy with your secrets along your pathway to success.  I hope all of you out there have someone in your circle that pushes you to be your very best.  Until tomorrow…If you haven’t already, make sure you have your support team in place!  

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress