Conquering Fear Doesn’t Happen Overnight

It is typical for someone to give good advice to others without ever really taking that same advice themselves.  I’ve written a lot about not letting fear, whether it is fear of failure or fear of success, stop you from going after your dreams.  I stand by that advice but sometimes I just can’t seem to take it myself.  It isn’t that I don’t want to let the fear go, it just seems that I can’t.  I get moments where I feel fearless and ready to conquer the world.  Then something happens to set me back and I get afraid.  I find myself afraid that I won’t succeed, then afraid that I will.  

I spent a lot of time last night assessing exactly what it is that I seem to be doing wrong, or rather what is wrong with me.  Why it is that I keep missing opportunities simply by not going after them in the first place.  I look at my best friend Ms. L and watch her hustle her ass off to climb further and further up that ladder.  She’s doing what she loves to do and she is going into it all fearlessly.  Now Ms. L and I are both in pursuit of the same thing, success doing what it is we love to do.  We have different avenues of the media industry that we want to conquer but we are both passionate about creativity and writing and making a living at it.  I just can’t seem to mirror that same fierceness she has to hustle.  

I sat in my bed last night trying to figure out why.  Was it that I didn’t want it as bad anymore?  Is it that I just feel that I am not cut out to be my own businesswoman after all?  Can it just be that I am not hungry enough for it?  No, none of those things apply to me.  Then I realized that I’m still afraid.  I thought it had gone away.  I thought I had talked myself through the phase of being too afraid but somewhere along the way it crept back in.  I’m afraid of succeeding but mostly I’m afraid of failing at everything I’ve ever dreamed of.  

What I also realized in my moment of self analysis last night was that if I don’t try and give it my all then my fear will come true anyway.  I fail without even trying to succeed.  Not trying will be failing.  I wish I could say that the fear is gone now.  I wish that I could say that once it passes this time that it will never creep back in.  But I can say that I know that fear is not going to help me get what I want and what I’m destined to have; success.  For anyone out there experiencing a serious case of fear, you are not alone.  We will overcome it and climb our way up that ladder.  It just might take us a little bit longer than others.  Until tomorrow…Remember that Fear stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

Letting Go of an Unwanted Label

Ms. L did a blog series last week about the labels that we, as a society, place on ourselves.  It seemed as if almost all of them applied to me in some way, shape, or form, but the one that really screamed out to me was broke.  She and I talked in depth about this particular label because I tend to have to cry broke almost every other week (on a bad month it might be every week).  

It seems as if when the money does come in the bills and whatever my daughter needs at any given moment eats it all up.  It occurred to me when reading Ms. L’s post that if I keep putting it out there that I am broke, that quite possibly may be the reason that I remain that way.  It is said that you attract whatever energy you put out and if that is in fact true then putting out the energy of always being broke would only attract more instances of being broke.  

I joke all of the time about wishing that I was lucky enough to win the lottery but the funny thing is I would have to actually play the lottery in order to win it.  I shy away from the practice of playing the lottery only because I don’t want to end up being even more broke than I already am.  But I never consider the odds of me actually winning the lottery.  I never even put off that energy.  

If I keep holding on to that title of being broke or thinking that I am not lucky enough to achieve something having never even given it a try then it is no wonder the label of being broke is holding on to me.  From now on I am just going to say that I am temporarily out of cash (T.O.C.) because that’s all it really is.  I am not broke because in a lot of ways I am richer in certain areas that don’t even involve having money.  That is one label I am more than happy to shed.  Until tomorrow…What label would you let go of? 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

I Was Honored To Be Chosen and Now I Pass On This Honor To 7 Others

Okay so back on the 16th of January I was selected by my best friend Ms. L as a Versatile Blogger Award recipient.  I was once again selected by one of my blog’s followers, Leonie Lucas, for the Versatile blogger award.  I know it took me long enough to get around to actually accepting my award that I really do cherish and am honored to get but today I am doing just that.  So first let me just say thank you to Ms. L and Leonie Lucas again for my award.  

So as I understand, accepting the award requires me to pass the award along to seven other bloggers and to tell my readers seven little known things about myself.  So tonight I will make my seven selections and share them with you here and tomorrow I will share seven things about myself (whether you will find them interesting or not is another story).  

  1. Confessions of a Love Addict– Blog by Lindsey Tigar
  2. The Daily Cocca– Blog by Chris Cocca
  3. Nail Your Novel– Blog by Roz Morris
  4. Nissi Knows– Blog by Nissi x
  5. Screenwriting From Iowa– Blog by Scott Smith
  6. Roger Tharpe-  A Voice Crying Out Into The Wilderness – Blog by Roger Tharpe
  7. Futuristically Yours– Blog by Harold 

Tomorrow I will disclose 7 things about myself. 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

The Support Around You

Ms. L wrote a blog post the other night about hustling hard for what you want out of life.  I will say that she has got to be the best hustler I know.  When she sets her mind to something and decides that it’s going to happen, she makes it happen, one way or another.  She is a perfect example of the type of friend and person in general that you want surrounding you when you are on a mission to greatness.  They say that birds of a feather flock together and when I was in high school I never understood what that really meant, nor how true that statement was.  

My mother used to hear about certain people that I associated with in high school doing something they didn’t have any business doing, and she would just automatically assume that I was doing the same things (which I wasn’t).  She said that if you surround yourself with certain types of people then that’s the type of person people will think you are.  At the time I thought that it was her being highly judgmental and unfair.  I felt that if you liked someone or at least a lot of their attributes then there shouldn’t be a problem being their friend even if the two of you were total opposites on everything.  I learned as I grew into an adult that my mother (I cringe as I say this) was right.  

You don’t want the people in your circle to be exactly like you (that would just be boring) but you do want them to be people who understand you and your goals and ambitions and who are as ambitious about whatever they want as you are.  You want people surrounding you that are like-minded and that are going to push you when you need a push.  You need people who have their own sense of direction and motivate you to find and follow yours.  

A writer in particular needs a good source of support and motivation in the people that they associate with.  While I have other good supportive people in my circle that motivate me in various ways (as I hopefully motivate them), none of them I admire quite as much as Ms. L.  Her post the other night about hustling harder (and our conversation that came afterwards) gave me great encouragement and motivation.  

I am probably not the best hustler in terms of going after everything I want with extreme vigor but because I am not, it is good to have someone in my corner, in my circle, who is.  Someone who can be a model example of the kind of hustling I should be doing.  Surrounding yourself with the right people, as a writer, is vitally important and should be something that you should definitely reevaluate if you haven’t before.  I thank Ms. L for being the kind of friend and fellow writer that I can take a multitude of notes from and for not being stingy with your secrets along your pathway to success.  I hope all of you out there have someone in your circle that pushes you to be your very best.  Until tomorrow…If you haven’t already, make sure you have your support team in place!  

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

NaNoWriMo Day 21: Do I Have To Show Up?

The answer to that question is yes. 

My best friend wrote a blog post yesterday about showing up even when we sometimes don’t feel like it.  She was referring to instances that happen within life but primarily she was speaking of showing up to the keyboard even when you don’t feel like writing.  I am guilty of not showing up when I really just don’t feel like it.  I make many excuses about just needing time for my brain to decompress or about the ideas not coming to me, or at least not in the manner I would like them to.  Sometimes it’s simply just because I would rather read or worse, watch something on the TV.  That is unacceptable of me.  Me, who wants to eventually earn a spot on the New York Times Best Sellers list.  Me, who wants to become as famously known as Joyce Carol Oates, Zane, Maya Angelou, Terry McMillan, Mary B. Morrison, James Patterson, Eric Jerome Dickey, and Sue Grafton.  Me, who wants to be able to pump out, at minimum, seven to eightbooks a year, more if possible.  Me, who wants to build my brand and create a whole new Media empire and put out a new online magazine (Write 2 Be Magazine) at the beginning of next year.  I have way too many things that I want to do in my life and there are not enough hours as it is to do them in so I can not afford to NOT show up. 

I am very thankful for my best friend, Ms. L. because it seems like she always knows the right things to say and at just the right time that I need to hear them.  She is so inspirational and I don’t think she knows just how much.  It’s good to have people surround you who know what you need to hear and know when to remind you of the things you already knew.  So when I whine to myself about not feeling like writing and I ask myself (in the most whiny voice possible) ‘Do I have to?’, the answer will from now on be YES!  Because I know what I need to do and what I have to do to accomplish it and I just simply cannot afford not to Show Up.  Until next time…Show up to your keyboard everyday, you won’t be sorry, I promise! 

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

If It’s What You Love To Do, Stay Hungry and Stay Foolish

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.”

~Steve Jobs 

When Steve Jobs died on October 5 he left behind so much more than just his extensive contribution to the technological world.  In my opinion, what’s worth far more than his Apple Company is the determination that it took for him to reach his level of success and the words that he expressed in his 2005 commencement speech at StanfordUniversity.  I must admit that I had not actually took the time to watch the speech until after his death but there was so much that I got out of those fifteen minutes.  One thing he said that stuck with me was to not let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.  

Another memorable thing that I took away from his speech was his last four words; Stay hungry, stay foolish.  It seemed to be words that he lived by until his dying day and I found these words to be both intriguing and inspiring.  When you stay hungry you never really lose sight of what is at stake for your dreams.  You stay focused and steady.  You stay driven and determined.  You never settle if you have not gotten to where it is you want to be.  When you allow yourself to stay foolish you give yourself permission to have the courage to do the things that everybody else might think of as stupid or crazy.  Those that remain foolish have the ability to ignore the logic that might be telling them that something will be too difficult or impossible to make happen.  

In the last few weeks I have been continually told, in so many words, that what I want for my life is not going to happen and that I am wasting my time with it.  I should just go make a career out of working behind a desk and be content with that because it’s a good living.  They say writing is not practical, writing will never make me rich or even provide enough money to live off, writing is a great hobby but it’s not realistically possible to make it, especially in the current economy.  Well I say to hell with anyone who tells me that doing what I love to do, what I was born to do, is a waste of my time.  It’s who I am and it’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. 

It’s not as if I just woke up a year or two ago and said hey, I think I want to be a writer now.  I have known since I was six years old that this was what my purpose in life was and I have never, in 25 years, wavered from that belief.  Honestly, at this point I’ve put in so much time and sacrificed so much in the effort of making this work that I can’t go back now.  Sure I’m not where I would like to be within my career at this point, nor where I thought I would be, but I know it’s coming because I know it’s meant for me. 

So many times I hear about or see people who have spent their lives doing something that is practical and might have garnered them success but it wasn’t what they wanted for themselves.  It wasn’t the way that they wanted to achieve their success and they weren’t very happy.  They spent their lives living up to others’ standards and other people’s ideas of normal and practical.  They lived a life, but it wasn’t theirs. 

I’ve already wasted too much of my limited time on this earth living the way someone else thought I should, doing what was practical all the while longing to follow my heart.  I am not going to leave this world feeling like I didn’t at least try to live the life I was meant to live.  As Steve Jobs also said in his brilliant speech, “Remembering that you are going to die is the best way to avoid the trap of thinking that you have something to lose…”  What good is living if I am not going to go for it all, come hell or high water?  I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to really throw caution to the wind and just jump feet first without worrying what will go wrong.  I think that I’m going to start finding out.  I thank you Steve Jobs for being brave enough to Stay hungry and Stay foolish.  Until next time…Imagine all of what you can do if you were just a little more foolish and a lot less logical.  

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

Let Me Not Wallow Anymore

“There is no advancement to him who stands trembling because he cannot see the end from the beginning.”

~E.J. Klemme 

I was thinking the other night, yet again, about how bad things are and how I can almost see that light at the end of the tunnel but I’m getting frustrated because I feel as if that light should be much closer by now.  I was thinking of how I just wish things, for once, could be going the way that I need for them to go.  What I was doing was wallowing, and it wasn’t the first time.  I was focusing so much on what isn’t going right that I wasn’t thinking about the things that are going right.

My best friend, Ms. L., hates it when I get so far down in the dumps that I can’t see any possible chance of something positive happening.  She doesn’t like to hear me speak of all of the things that I think I can’t do because of this, that, or the other.  She tells me that she doesn’t want to hear it and that she’s there for me but she can’t be around the negativity.  To tell you the truth she actually has had the nerve to hang up on me once and I was mad.  Those times when she would shut me down when I’m just simply trying to express what I’m feeling at the moment I could not understand how she couldn’t just be there for me and listen.  But more and more I realize that she was being a friend, a really good friend.  

Not only was she not going to let me tear myself down and make light of my goals or my potential, but she also wasn’t going to let me bring her down into my pit of negativity.  I can appreciate that now because I have a person that is in my orbit that constantly tries to find one way or another to bring me down to her level of negativity and tries even harder to keep me feeling that way.  I find myself constantly having to cut her off in the midst of her trying to make me commiserate in her own misery and negative feelings just so I can maintain my optimism that I find myself having to work at maintaining on a daily basis.  

Sometimes I get stuck feeling a certain way, I get in a funk and too many times I allow myself to stay in that funk for far too long but it is having a friend like Ms. L. that can give me a good shaking (not physically of course) to make me see that wallowing is not going to change anything, but rather allow things to continue on being the same.  Changing one’s circumstances can only happen once you stop questioning why me, and why did this or that happen, and actually do something about the situation that you don’t want to be in anymore.  It’s good to have a friend that will risk hurting your feelings and upsetting you in order to save you from yourself.  I wouldn’t have it any other way.  Until next time…Stop wallowing in the things you can’t change and get out there and make the changes that you have the power to make!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

The Theme of It All

I was talking to Ms. L the other night and we were reminiscing about T.V. show theme songs from back in the 90’s and before you knew it we were googling some of those theme songs and singing along with them into the wee hours of the morning.  We went from the Mary Tyler Moore show, All in the Family, and Good Times, to Growing Pains, Family Matters, and Friends.  There were many more and perhaps even a CD of theme songs may have been involved but I won’t run down the entire list.  In between singing these songs together, we even shared common gripes about the fact that it seems as though most of the TV shows now do not have theme songs and how we missed them.  

I realized, somewhere between Perfect Strangers and Laverne and Shirley, that the difference between television shows then and now is that the writers seemed to want their shows to be graced with theme songs that were motivating and that uplifted their audiences into believing in themselves and in their dreams.  The songs promoted family unity and families supporting one another through good times and bad, and through the things they want to accomplish.  Now there are no theme songs, just a flash of music in the beginning of the shows and sometimes a few words to the beat of a random song, but no real theme song.  No real promotion of family unity or uplifting of the spirit.  It’s almost as if the writers of the shows stopped caring, along with the rest of the world, of the spirit of the people that watch their shows.  

The theme shows from before were large reasons that I watched those shows in the first place.  The songs would get me motivated and before the show even began I was rooting for those people, for their dreams, and for their family.  I got valuable lessons from those promotions of family unity and the empowerment of following your dreams through the music of the theme songs.  So when did they stop feeling the need to inspire the audience and to motivate and uplift them?  When did the writers of the T.V. shows stop realizing that we still need that push and that empowerment, even if it is in the simple form of a song at the beginning of a show?  

Sometimes it is the littlest things that can give someone the inspiration they need to do something different.  The writers of these television shows may just see it as an insignificant theme song that cost too much for just that one minute sound bite, but that one minute sound bite might be just what that one person in their intended audience needs to hear.  It might be what gets them moving and gets them motivated and lights a fire under them to do something great.  That one minute sound bite is more than worth what it cost if it incites someone to be better and be greater than what they were before they sat down to watch their show.  

In one of her blog posts, Ms. L said that we sometimes think that with us just being one person, what we do doesn’t count and that it doesn’t make a difference.  But one person actually can make a difference and even when you might not think that what you say or do is affecting someone else, there’s a great chance that it is in fact touching someone else’s life in some way.  Those writers of television shows may not think anything of the theme songs of the shows in television history and may not consider it worth their time or money to go that extra mile to find or create something that will incite inspiration but I would assure them that those songs mattered and they meant something and if anything it made people more drawn to watch.  Just as everything a person does matters, what they don’t do also speaks volumes.  Until next time…Do what you do best, even when you think no one will care or is paying attention; chances are that someone is watching!  

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

What Could Have Been

“You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present.” 

~Jan Glidewell 

The other night I was talking to Ms. L and I was feeling a little down because I had a lot of things on my mind.  I was thinking of all the curveballs that I have been thrown in life.  I was doing a lot of wondering about what could have been.  

What if I had done what I was supposed to do all the way through high school and had been able to get a full scholarship to the college of my choice inNew York?  What if when I did go to college, not necessarily the one that I wanted to go to, and I had been better prepared for college life and had gotten the grades that I should’ve gotten or at least sought help when I was failing?  What if I hadn’t gotten in a really bad relationship and gotten so steered off course from what my vision of my life was?  What if I hadn’t met a man who I thought was the love of my life and had a child with him which derailed me going back to school until the late age of 27?  

The truth is my life would more than likely be at a very different place, maybe even where I envisioned it being.  Had I done all the things that I should’ve done in the correct time frame that it should have been done in I may very well already be into my writing career and perhaps even a lot closer to the top of that media mogul ladder that I am now struggling to climb.  But in talking to Ms. L. the other night she helped me to see that everything does in fact happen for a reason and that just because the course of my journey has had to change, the vision has always remained the same and that’s what matters the most.  

If I had never been directed to Morgan State University (which was not the school I had always wanted to attend) then I would’ve never met Ms. L. and I can not imagine going through this life without a friend as good as her and as supportive and motivating as her.  If I hadn’t met the man who I thought was the love of my life, then I would not have my amazing daughter and I can not even begin to say how thankful I am for her and I wouldn’t trade her for all the money and success in the world.  

So many of the things that I have been through are responsible for shaping the person I am today.  But in all of that my vision of what I wanted in terms of my career goals and what I feel God put me on this earth to do have never changed.  I have never questioned what I am meant to do.  Now I may not have answered all of the previous doors that opportunity was knocking at, and looking back perhaps those doors were not meant for me to answer, but I certainly believe that there are still more opportunities out there that I may just have to build my own door to.  

What could have been in anyone’s life is not always how things should’ve been and I firmly believe that God knows your path before you even develop a path in your own mind.  So who am I to question what could have been when God already has a plan for what will be and the least that I can do, after all he has seen me through and all the talents and abilities that he has blessed me with, is follow the path that he has mapped out for me, not the one that I had mapped out for myself.  Until next time…Don’t get sidetracked by the curveballs, just change your plan of how to attack them the next time you’re up to bat!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

A Bad Case of How Did I Get Here

“Many of life’s failures are people who had not realized how close they were to success when they gave up.”

~Thomas Edison 

So I was reading Ms. L’s blog post yesterday, “Bucket List”, and started thinking about all of the things that I might include on my own personal bucket list and if I was so courageous enough to make a list, just how many of those things would I actually be able to cross off.  

For the past few weeks I have been trying to not to be depressed over the state of my current circumstances, and I must say I have been losing that battle because it just seems like things keep getting worse.  I’ve been waking up day after day wondering how I got here at the age of 30 (almost 31) and still so far behind in my list of goals and accomplishments.  It’s like every time something goes right there are three more things that go wrong to completely demolish the one right thing that happened.  

I guess you could say that for a little while I lost my motivation for even trying to make things go my way.  I figured that if it was meant to happen for me it would’ve happened by now, right?  Well I have come back to my senses now and I am ready to get right back in the ring of life and fight for where I want my life to be.  I have had my share of what some might call luck and I have definitely had some miracles along the way and that has to count for something.  

So maybe I wouldn’t be able to check off even half of my list yet.  Maybe I am not quite there yet in succeeding in all of the aspects of life that I want to but I am not at square one either.  Even being in the middle of my journey means that I have accomplished something worth being proud of.  I may have quite a ways to go but stopping now is not an option that I am willing to explore.  

When I stop to think about how I got here, I have to think about where here actually is.  I am relatively healthy, I have a beautiful and healthy vibrant and incredibly smart daughter, I have the talent and ability to write which is what I’ve wanted to do since I was six years old, and I have the drive and determination to make it happen no matter what or how long it takes.  I guess when I sit back and think about it, being “here” isn’t really so bad. 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm
http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://jayceedurant.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://freemynd.wordpress.com/

http://spokenlikeaqueen.blogspot.com/ 

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

www.authorsden.com/jimmettacarpenter