Tag: goals

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Building a Better Relationship with Your Writer Self

March 17, 2012 jcladyluv

On my post the other day I wrote about my “marriage” to writing and my wanting to improve my relationship. Well I wanted to share with all of you, some of the different ways that any writer can improve their relationship to their writing and become more harmonious and at ease with their craft. I hope that some of these tips help you the way they are helping me.

1) Read, read, read! Don’t forget that you have to still be a good reader too. A writer can not be so caught up with trying to write their great work of art that they forget to read others great works of art as well.

2) Keep a separate notebook that is just for the ideas that come to your mind sporadically. You have to be ready to capture those thoughts at a moment’s notice because if you wait too long you can lose them (trust me I know).

3) For all of those techno-savvy people out there who have completely given up the (seemingly) dying art of paper and pen, put down the ipad from time to time and remind yourself what it feels like to put pen to paper. There is nothing like writing longhand to get your thoughts flowing so don’t lose sight of that.

4) If you are a planner (like me) and you know that planning things out works better for you then don’t give into the advice that some writers will give you about writing without a plan. That does not work for everyone and if you know that having a list of what projects you need to work on will help you get it done quicker, then make that list. If you know that outlining will help you write that novel better and quicker then write that outline. Good advice is only good if it actually works for you and not against you.

5) Sign up for a writing course or a writing networking event or conference. It gives you the opportunity to talk to and get to know other writers who may be struggling with some of the same things you are, or writers that you can help as well. It will also give you a chance to make contacts that you will be thankful you have in the future.

I hope that something on the list above helps someone else out there other than me. Of course what is important for every writer out there to do to have a good relationship with their writer selves is to actually write. I hope you are all crafting some wonderful stories this weekend!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

My Up and Down Marriage to Writing

March 15, 2012March 15, 2012 jcladyluv

“Marriage is a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose.”

~Beverley Nichols

Ms. L. and I always joke about writing and our laptops being our husbands. It seems like more of a reality as time goes on and as I pour more of myself into it. If I were truly married to my writing, then I think that our marriage might be in trouble and standing on very shaky ground right now. Marriage of any kind needs love constantly poured into it, attention consistently given to it, passion infused all through it, and it needs to be nurtured through all of its years of commitment and union.

As I think about my writing in those terms, I realize that I haven’t been a good wife to it lately. At times I have neglected my writing and have been completely lazy when it comes to my talent. I haven’t spent enough time with my craft and I have let way too many other personal dilemmas stand in the way of me taking my writing career to the next level (or stage of our relationship). I haven’t nurtured my gift for expressing myself through my words as I know that I can and at times I have appeared to have completely given up on the relationship altogether. But I haven’t given up.

My writing may be the only constant relationship I have had since I developed a love for it at the age of ten. It has been by my side and it has never abandoned me (at least not for extremely large amounts of time), nor has it judged me. It has allowed me to use it as my vessel to the rest of the world and lately I have taken advantage that it will always be around for me. I have not showed it just how much I truly treasure it and how passionate I still feel about it and I am sorry for that.

I know that if I don’t stop neglecting my writing and my purpose altogether, then it will soon leave me. It gives me warnings every time I come down with writer’s block but I’m sure that it feels that it hasn’t gotten through to me. I know that there are times when it just weeps at the fact that I appear to have abandoned it for the fear (the invisible third party in our relationship) that I will never do it justice. Well writing, I want you to know that you have gotten through to me. I am ready to recommit myself to you from this day forward.

I am turning my back on the fear that has interfered with us and plagued us for quite some time now. I have finally realized that if I don’t give you the love and time that you need, you can’t give me the fulfillment that I need in return. I know that I have to nurture you and take time to enhance our relationship so that it only gets better and more purposeful as the years go on.

I plan to spend as many seconds and minutes of the day with you that I can on a daily basis no matter how impossible it may seem to make it happen. I thank you for hanging in there and giving me continuous chances to get our relationship back on the right track. From now until forever I will make sure to honor you and be true to you so that we can prosper in this life together.

I love Writing and I’m just thankful that Writing still loves me right back.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Seeing Yourself Through Someone Else’s Eyes

March 8, 2012 jcladyluv

“Sometimes you can’t see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.”

~Ellen DeGeneres

It is really nice when you have someone that believes in you enough for the both of you. I discovered that I had someone else in my corner today, someone that’s always been in my corner but I guess I just didn’t really see it. My friend (we’ll just call him Mr. C.) was very motivating for me today. He spoke about me and my dreams the way that I had expressed them to him and made me reenergized about them again. I was starting to believe that it was just too late for me to take my brand and my name and become the success that I had always dreamed of being. Today when I saw myself through his eyes, the way he said he saw things, I felt like I had already accomplished so much.

He reminded me of all of the plans that I had laid out to him around the time that we first met and pinpointed all of the goals that I had actually managed to accomplish thus far. I don’t really know why I hadn’t realized that I am not exactly at the starting point, but rather somewhere ahead of the halfway point. I know that Ms. L. is going to read this and say ‘I told you all of that stuff already’ and it’s not that I didn’t hear her but hearing it from someone who I didn’t realize was paying attention somehow has a different affect. I knew that Mr. C. had confidence in me and that he thought I was capable of many things, but I never saw just how fiercely he believed in me.

It’s always interesting to see yourself through someone else’s eyes because a lot of the times you find that you are only seeing what hasn’t been done when they are looking at the bigger picture. They are looking at what your goals were to begin with, and what strides you have already made towards those goals, and they see the potential of you finishing those goals. I don’t know why it sometimes seems so hard for me to look at myself and my life the way that others seem to see it but I am starting to get the message now.

If I keep stopping at every bench mark on my roadmap of success and picking apart everything that I had already done and diminishing it into being nothing then that’s what it will amount to, nothing. Holding up someone else’s mirror to your life is very revealing and meaningful because you can’t always see what someone else sees. Sometimes it takes the vision of someone else to make clear to you that you are on the right path.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Making Investments in Our Future

February 27, 2012 jcladyluv

“There is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future in.”

~Graham Greene

I watched the Oscars last night and I thought about all of the awards shows that we as writers and artists’ watch throughout the years and all of the acceptance speeches that we hear. It is extremely rare not to hear an actress, actor, writer, director, singer, songwriter, or visual artists’ (graphic or otherwise) thank their parents for allowing them to be who they are and for not only encouraging their gifts but for also enhancing it by being supportive of that talent.

I started thinking about the children whose gifts and talents are not acknowledged, let alone encouraged by their parents. All of the gifts and blessings for the world that are not being realized because there is no one there to tell them that it’s okay to dream and dream big. I was one of those children.

When I watch those awards shows I can’t help but to think of whether I could’ve been one of those artists accepting an award for their brilliant talents if only I had a mother that encouraged or enhanced my gifts, or at the very least, acknowledged that I had any. I know that I’ve mentioned here before that my mother was (to put it in nice terms) not very nurturing. She never really believed in me and to this day it still hurts.

I do feel that when she heard me singing around the house and heard other people who didn’t have to placate me tell her that I was actually good at it, that she perhaps could have invested in some voice lessons, or piano lessons for me. Maybe when I wrote the class poem for my eighth grade graduation and my teachers all told my her that she had a very gifted writer on her hands, she could have put me in writing workshops that they had for children (and they had them, I checked). Or maybe when I sent a poem to a songwriting contest and received a letter saying that they wanted to turn my poem into a song, however, they needed to deal with my mother contractually (because I was still a minor), she could’ve done what she needed to do as my mother to make it into a reality. She could have actually invested in my gifts when I was younger but she didn’t.

While I know that I can not jet off back into time and change what never was, I am left to constantly wonder what could have been. Most days I don’t dwell on it. But on nights like last night when I see people accepting their awards and whose parents clearly believed in them enough for them to get where they are now, I get a little resentful (as much as I hate to admit that) towards my mother.

But that is when I just turn that resentfulness into a persistent desire to make sure that I am different with my daughter. I want to make sure that I encourage her creative talents, enhance her gifts by supporting and investing in them, and empower her to believe that she can do and be whatever it is that she dreams she can be. I want her to know that I believe in her and that I know her future is worth the investment.

If we as parents do not invest in our children’s future where are they supposed to get the idea that their future is worth investing in to begin with. It starts with us and if we see brilliance in our children it is our job and our duty to help them develop and cultivate their gifts. They are our future and we have to make investments, not just in the stock markets and the next big business venture (not that our own careers are not important as well), but we have to invest in them too because their future is worth it. They are our future Grammy, Golden Globe, or even Oscar winners and we have to help them get there. Don’t wait until tomorrow to make an investment in your child’s future, do it today!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Complaining Never Solves Anything

February 23, 2012 jcladyluv

“Instead of complaining that the rosebush is full of thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses.”

~Proverb

The other day my daughter was having a particularly moody day and she seemed to be complaining about everything. I was really tired of hearing her complain but she gets it honestly because I am also a big time complainer and whiner (still working on getting better at that). So I decided to convey to her what I had learned over the years of my life and am still in the process of learning as I struggle to curtail my need to complain on a regular basis. I told her that if she stops complaining and whining about the things that she has no control over, she could actually start to realize and appreciate the benefits of what it is she’s complaining about. Essentially if she changes her attitude about things she may find that she actually enjoys them or at the very least can learn from them.

I only wish that I had realized that a long time ago. Even now, while I don’t complain about things nearly as much as I used to, I still have a problem with feeling the need to complain my way through a hard time. At the end of the situation the only thing that I really managed to do was waste a lot of time that I can’t ever get back. I took so much extra time that I didn’t have to work my way through whatever problem it was that didn’t need to be thrown away and it didn’t erase the problem, it only made it take longer to get through.

Being a mom teaches you so many lessons that sometimes never really sink in until you are having those teachable moments with your own children. More than likely your parents tried to have those same teachable moments with you and they just didn’t stick. Attitude has a lot to do with how situations are managed and how you deal with them. If you can change your attitude, you can ultimately change your situation.

I have discovered that complaining about any given problem only gives that problem power over your life and over your circumstances. So in order to take that power away from the problem, you’ve got to stop complaining about it and in a sense dwelling over it. Once you do stop and change your attitude about the situation you will find that you can get through the problem in a more positive and productive way that won’t waste a whole lot of time that you don’t have. My daughter said that she understood what I was trying to say (but she’s 8 so I believe it went in one ear and out the other) but even if she didn’t get it while I was saying it, I hope that it will sink in eventually. Until tomorrow…Don’t complain your way through your struggles, smile your way through it and it will be over before you know it.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

There’s Nothing Wrong with a Little Healthy Competition

February 22, 2012 jcladyluv

“I’m not in competition with anybody but myself. My goal is to beat my last performance.”

~Celine Dion

I have never considered myself to be competitive. I was never an athlete in school. I never competed in anything academically; well not unless you count the elementary class spelling bees. I was never one to really fight for what I wanted when I was younger. I guess I just didn’t really have any fight in me then and I would just step aside if I thought someone could do something better than me. To be honest I didn’t have fight in me until the last several years.

So when someone at my gym said to me today that they knew I could do something that another person was doing (which I kept telling him I couldn’t) simply because he knew I would never let someone else outdo me, I was a little taken aback to realize that he was right. It’s funny but I didn’t even realize that somewhere along the way I had become competitive (but not in a bad way). When I see someone doing something (at least when it comes to physical activity in the gym) that I have convinced myself in my mind that I should be able to do I can’t seem to get rid of the urge to prove that I can actually do it. I think that I am mostly competitive with myself because I find myself trying to beat my own records and my own accomplishments, convinced that I can do better then what I did before.

Now if I only took that competitive spirit that I have in the gym and infused it into my writing. I mean it wouldn’t exactly be the same sort of competition because there’s no strenuous physical activity involved. But maybe if I can keep in my mind when I see someone in my inner circle doing something that I know I should be out there doing, that there’s no reason that I can’t do that. In writing perhaps I just need to stay in good competition with myself, trying on a continuous basis to outdo my own efforts.

I know that some people might think that being competitive is a bad thing, and I suppose it can be if you are not correctly directing your competitive nature to the right places in your life. You shouldn’t be in competition with the person next to you because they aren’t the ones standing in your way. You not trying to become better each time you achieve something is what stands in your way. Sometimes you have to compete with your own best efforts because it can make you a better person and better at your craft or talent. Until tomorrow…There’s nothing wrong with a little healthy competition, as long as you don’t lose sight of what you are competing for.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

Graduating to the Next Level

February 21, 2012 jcladyluv

“The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.”

~Emile Zola

This morning someone said to me as I was coming out of the gym, after complimenting me on my continuous efforts to get better in my physical fitness, that as long as I keep putting in the effort and hard work God was going to keep graduating me to the next level. There was something about the thought of being promoted by God to the next level of my life, or even the next level of my journey to maintain a healthier lifestyle that made me think deeply about what that meant in other areas of my life as well.

I will admit that when I started this conscious effort over two years ago to change the way I eat and my relationship with food, in addition to changing the way I think and feel about physical exercise, I became a little obsessed with it. I think that it might have come at the expense of my passion with writing every single moment I could get. I literally used to write everywhere I went, on napkins, on little bulletins or scraps of paper, I would write while I was eating, sometimes while I was lying down (supposedly trying to go to sleep). I put that much hard work and effort into it and while I had not yet saw the fruits of my labor at that time I didn’t really care, I was just consumed with the passion that I had to write.

When I wonder now why I have not yet gotten to where I feel I should be in my writing career yet, I now have to consider the fact that I simply stopped putting in the extreme hard work and efforts that I used to in order for me to graduate to that next level in my writing career. Now don’t misunderstand me, I have not stopped being passionate about my writing in any way (or I wouldn’t be able to maintain this blog). I simply seemed to have traded one obsession for another and my efforts were unbalanced. I don’t in any way regret dedicating the time and effort that I have to beginning my journey to a better and healthier, more physically fit me. I only regret not finding the balance I needed to graduate to the next level on both aspects.

When you’re younger you have these stages in life that you graduate from to move on to the next level. From elementary, middle and high school, to college and even graduate school. Typically when you’re going through the school stage of your life you get breaks in order to have time to gather yourself and prepare for what that stage entails. However, when you get into that stage where you have to really start living your life you don’t get those breaks.

There is no time to wait until you have thought about what it is going to take for you to get where you need to be, there’s just hard work and effort. Simply put if I don’t find a way to balance my efforts and my level of hard work in both areas that I am passionate about (health & fitness as well as writing) then I may not be able to simultaneously graduate to the next level on both fronts.

It’s hard to put all of my effort and time into just one thing because I am passionate about so many and in the case of my health, that is a passion that is necessary and I can’t afford to sacrifice. But writing is my first love, and like any kind of relationship, I have to put in the time, effort, pay close attention to it, continue to nurture it, and learn how to balance it with everything else that is important to me so that I can make it to the next level in my writing life. Until tomorrow…Are you putting in the time and effort so that you can graduate to the next stage of your life?

Jimmetta Carpenter

Freelance Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

The Questions We Ask Ourselves, and God (Part 5): Why Not Me?

February 17, 2012 jcladyluv

“Don’t put a question mark where God has put a period.”

~Joel Osteen

I know you’ve had those moments. You get yourself all excited about this new opportunity that is waiting for you. You just know that it will be the start of something amazing for your life. But then it doesn’t happen. Not only does it not happen for you but then you keep seeing other people get what they want and you feel slighted. You feel let down and defeated and you think to yourself, why not me?

It is very easy to slip into the land of doubt when you have to stand by and watch everyone else alongside you accomplishing all of their goals and achieving the success you want. You put in all of this work and most of your time, added in with all of your blood, sweat, and tears, and you still seem to never get ahead of the game. Even worse, that person next to you, who more than likely didn’t put in nearly as much time and effort (at least in your mind), is taking steps towards the next level that you feel you should be at. But instead of counting everyone else’s blessings around you, you have to be grateful for your own.

Just as there is a reason for everything to happen, there is also a reason why things don’t happen. Everything that we want in this life is not necessarily meant for us to have. Many times when we are rejected or when the things that we want fall through it is God’s way of protecting us. Those things were not meant for you to have and they were not a part of your journey. You won’t get your blessings longing for the ones that belong to someone else. Your blessings are on their way, you just have to be a little more patient.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

The Questions We Ask Ourselves, and God (Part 4): How Do I Know I’m On the Right Path?

February 16, 2012 jcladyluv

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

–Jeremiah 29:11

It’s hard to know if the direction you are headed in is the right one. It is even harder to know if the path you are on is the one you are destined for when it seems you continue to make so many mistakes (some mistakes repeatedly). You want there to be some way to know if that dream that you are chasing, and have been for years now, is the right one for you. You want to make sure that when you get to the destination that you are seeking, that you won’t regret the choice you made in picking that particular location. The thing is that you already know, deep down inside of you, if you are on the right path or not.

For a long time I questioned whether being a writer was really my destiny. I still question it sometimes when things seem to be hopeless. But what lets me know that this is my purpose and that I am on the right path is the fact the no matter how many mistakes I have made, they have somehow still all led me right to where I was always meant to be. I am making a living (admittedly lower then what I would like it to be at the time) doing what I love to do more then anything in this world. I am doing what calms me and what heals me. I am doing what God put me on this earth to do, and I am doing it with all of the mistakes I have made included.

Along your journey sometimes you get diverted, redirected, and turned completely around. You go in different directions then you originally saw yourself going in. But are those diversions really unplanned or were they just not a part of your plan. We make plans but our plans always get rerouted when they are not the same as God’s plans. This doesn’t mean that your destiny isn’t what you thought it was. It just means that the mistakes you think you made along the way were God’s way of getting you back on the right track.

The path you take isn’t going to be all on the straight and narrow, nor will it be without experiencing some bumps (and bruises) along the way. That doesn’t mean it’s not the right path for you, just that the right path is not going to be an easy one. You have to remember that you are on the path that God has chosen for you, for whatever reason. Don’t try to reroute God’s path with your own.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”